joedog's just in time for Christmas

[joedog]

I'll write out my goals and then write a bit about me, where I've been and where I'm going. All you readers can follow along and enjoy but all you non-readers can skip the wall of text that's sure to follow. 

 

My main overarching goal used to be weight loss. I still weigh 300 pounds (down from a recent high of 315 on Oct 24) but I've changed my theme from weight loss to improved performance. Weight loss will be a happy side effect. I'm a rugby coach now and still playing some. Even if I never play another game, I need to improve my physical performance so I can demonstrate things to my team. I also hope it will inspire some of the less fit girls as they try to improve. 

 

Goal 1) Go to the gym 3-4 times per week. I have to do 3 for the lifting program I'm following. The 4th is a cardio day that can either be at the gym or done from home. The lifting program is a slightly bastardized Stronglifts 5x5 with some rugby specific stuff added in. 

 

Goal 2) Food. My eternal Achilles' heal. I've eaten my pain for a long time and as someone with chronic and sometimes unrelenting depression, I have a lot of pain to eat. I'm starting small here. My only food goal for this 4 weeks is to track everything I eat. I automatically do better when I track. In January I will add a step. But this is such a problem area, I need to start small. 

 

Goal 3) My habitat. As I mentioned above, I'm in a constant struggle with my depression. My wife also struggles with it. As a result, our house sometimes isn't in great shape because we're both just too beaten up to deal with it. I used this goal once before in a challenge and it worked great for me so I'm going to start it again. I will do one thing each day towards tidying up the house. It might be a big project or it might be something as simple as making sure I've policed up the clutter on the coffee table. But I will do something each day. 

 

So about me...I struggle terribly with depression and anxiety. I'm actually considering seeing a psychiatrist to manage my meds instead of the family doc. I take 3 different medications and I'm barely hanging in there part of the time so I think it's time to bring out the big guns. I'm a rugby coach. Being a rugby coach has been a dream of mine for a long time but I thought that ship had sailed. I'm thinking about taking up bjj. I could write paragraphs about where I am but that would probably get old. Also, I'm not very good at posting lots of clever pictures and gifs. That's why I have you guys! 

[sarakingdom]

YAY YOU ARE BACK I HAVE MISSED YOU.

[Kishi]

Welcome back!

 

[RisenPhoenix]

 

*hugs*

[SevenFootGeek]

YOUR FACE.
 

I MISS IT.

[joedog]

On 11/29/2016 at 3:24 PM, sarakingdom said:

YAY YOU ARE BACK I HAVE MISSED YOU.

 

Thanks! I missed you too! 

 

On 11/29/2016 at 9:05 PM, Kishi said:

Welcome back!

 

 

I've missed my nerds. The forums are good for me even when I'm only moderately successful at my challenges. 

 

On 11/30/2016 at 8:13 AM, RisenPhoenix said:

 

*hugs*

 

I feel like this is a thing that would happen in person. 

 

13 hours ago, SevenFootGeek said:

YOUR FACE.
 

I MISS IT.

 

It just so happens that I also miss your face. 

 

[sarakingdom]

7 minutes ago, joedog said:

I've missed my nerds. The forums are good for me even when I'm only moderately successful at my challenges. 

 

This is my theory of challenges.  Even when I don't have time for one and I'm half-assing no goals at all, it's good for me to show up and check in.

[joedog]

16 minutes ago, sarakingdom said:

 

This is my theory of challenges.  Even when I don't have time for one and I'm half-assing no goals at all, it's good for me to show up and check in.

 

I was so isolated that NF was basically my only social outlet. I talked to my wife, my Mom and my co-workers. Then I made friends who actually live in my town and that made it hard for me to balance. I'm really bad at balance. I need my local friends, but I need you guys too. 

[RisenPhoenix]

2 hours ago, joedog said:

I feel like this is a thing that would happen in person. 

 

Was that ever even in doubt?

[joedog]

4 minutes ago, RisenPhoenix said:

 

Was that ever even in doubt?

 

I think of you, Kishi and 7FG as my little brothers. I hope that's okay. 

[RisenPhoenix]

13 minutes ago, joedog said:

 

I think of you, Kishi and 7FG as my little brothers. I hope that's okay. 

 

1) So the answer to my question was a solid No.

2) I now feel even sadder I didn't just up and crash you and Amy's wedding. 

[SevenFootGeek]

1 hour ago, joedog said:

 

I think of you, Kishi and 7FG as my little brothers. I hope that's okay. 

 

I will accept this only because you are technically a handful of years older than me.

 

But yes, you are my sister and I love you to death.

[Kishi]

 

Yes. Joedog-oneesan. Has a nice ring to it.

[karinajean]

YAS JOEDOG. so glad to see you. Balance is impossible to be perfect at! don't let that stand in your way. I mean, I certainly don't, I'm AWFUL at balance.

[starpuck]

JD!  My favoritist of all the JD's!   I have missed you my sweets!   I mean, I sorta still got to follow you in that other place, but this is more personal following hehe.   Plus I'm hardly on that other place these days.   I am so glad you are here!

 

 

[joedog]

On 12/2/2016 at 2:19 PM, RisenPhoenix said:

 

1) So the answer to my question was a solid No.

2) I now feel even sadder I didn't just up and crash you and Amy's wedding. 

 

That would have been fun since I was texting you anyway. Mild panic, going through my phone, who else can I text?!?

 

On 12/2/2016 at 3:41 PM, SevenFootGeek said:

 

I will accept this only because you are technically a handful of years older than me.

 

But yes, you are my sister and I love you to death.

 

Perhaps younger brothers would be better than than little brothers. 

 

On 12/3/2016 at 0:25 PM, Kishi said:

 

Yes. Joedog-oneesan. Has a nice ring to it.

 

I'm glad you approve since I've been telling people that for years now. 

 

23 hours ago, karinajean said:

YAS JOEDOG. so glad to see you. Balance is impossible to be perfect at! don't let that stand in your way. I mean, I certainly don't, I'm AWFUL at balance.

 

The first 41 years of my life have been "I can't be perfect so I just won't do it." Which is really foolish. Going to try the other way for the next 40 or whatever I have left. 

 

21 hours ago, Starpuck said:

JD!  My favoritist of all the JD's!   I have missed you my sweets!   I mean, I sorta still got to follow you in that other place, but this is more personal following hehe.   Plus I'm hardly on that other place these days.   I am so glad you are here!

 

 

 

That place seems to cause more pain than anything else these days. NF is much better. 

[joedog]

I almost forgot challenges start on Sunday now. 

 

Day 1 was a lifting day. I tracked all my food. I straightened up the kitchen while I was doing meal prep for this week. Off to a smashing start. 

 

It feels so good to be lifting again. I had developed a mental block about barbell squats. I think I'm finally through that. My shoulders aren't very happy about OHP but otherwise it's going well. 

[starpuck]

Woot.   Lifting, tidying, tracking.

 

You down with LTT?  Yeah, 'cause you know me!

 

Ok., wow, just dated myself there.

 

[The Shogun]

BOB!

 

The only non-GL/Ambassador to have her own Dresden Files inspired nickname. 

 

I'm so glad you're the first Monk I got to visit (I'm not currently in the Monastery, as you might have not noticed (since I was never around anyways)).

 

Sending you a big hug! You can count on me whenever the Dementors haunt you.

[Kishi]

Welcome back to the barbell! Good to see that so little has changed, huh?

[joedog]

17 hours ago, Starpuck said:

Woot.   Lifting, tidying, tracking.

 

You down with LTT?  Yeah, 'cause you know me!

 

Ok., wow, just dated myself there.

 

 

Who's down with LTT? This whole party!

 

I'm old too. It's all good. 

 

17 hours ago, The Shogun said:

BOB!

 

The only non-GL/Ambassador to have her own Dresden Files inspired nickname. 

 

I'm so glad you're the first Monk I got to visit (I'm not currently in the Monastery, as you might have not noticed (since I was never around anyways)).

 

Sending you a big hug! You can count on me whenever the Dementors haunt you.

 

There was a facebook meme a few months ago about posting pics of 3 fictional characters that you are like. I picked Capt Jack from Torchwood, Wile E. Coyote and Bob the Skull. So much truth in that. 

 

I like equating depression and anxiety with Dementors. I've been better the past couple of weeks but overall the last 3 years has been very heavy on Dementors. I need to practice my Patronus. 

 

 

1 hour ago, Kishi said:

Welcome back to the barbell! Good to see that so little has changed, huh?

 

I saw Henry Rollins a couple of weeks ago. He was phenomenal. If I could have stood up and stretched a bit, I could have listened to him for another 2 hours at least. I kept thinking about that essay "Iron and Soul". The barbell doesn't lie. I've been struggling with depression and anxiety so much that half the time I don't know if my feelings are real or just brain chemical fog but 300 pounds is always 300 pounds. Or 135 in my case but it's still the same. 

[joedog]

Day 2 

 

Not a gym day. Food was tracked. I worked on my bathroom a bit last night for tidying up. 

 

I've got an appointment with a trainer at the gym tonight. I hope that he doesn't make too many assumptions based on my appearance. 

[Kishi]

Worst case, just show him how you do in Rugby. That'll make him recognize.

[The Shogun]

5 hours ago, joedog said:

I like equating depression and anxiety with Dementors. I've been better the past couple of weeks but overall the last 3 years has been very heavy on Dementors. I need to practice my Patronus. 

 

 

That was actually the intention of the author. Dementors = Depression, that's why you fight them with happy thoughts and chocolate. =D And Shogun's hugs.

[joedog]

20 hours ago, Kishi said:

Worst case, just show him how you do in Rugby. That'll make him recognize.

 

It was a much better experience than the last time I met with a trainer at this particular gym. He asked questions and then actually listened to the answers. Remarkable.

 

16 hours ago, The Shogun said:

That was actually the intention of the author. Dementors = Depression, that's why you fight them with happy thoughts and chocolate. =D And Shogun's hugs.

 

She did a perfect job. Because when I'm in the grip of it I definitely feel like I will never be happy again. Thank goodness for happy thoughts, chocolate and Shogun hugs.