Zeroh's Triumphant Tussle with Time Management

[zeroh13]

Yep. Time management. The one and only goal for this challenge. And here's why: I suck at it. And my life is going to become a chaotic mess if I don't make it a priority.

 

November has brought a lot of change into my life, and December will do the same. Early in November, I started new medication (wellbrutrin). And that was after finding out that I was misdiagnosed with ADHD. Midway through the month, I started seeing a therapist for CBT. And now here, at the end of it, I landed a new job.

 

Yeah, something finally came out of all that work that started all the way back in the summer. But there is a twist. This new job doesn't pay as much as my current job. At least not yet. And my current job barely pays the bills. So now I will be working two jobs. Yay?

 

And to top it all off, I struggle with depression and social anxiety. In short, I'm going to have a real tough time with the new job until I get used to the place/people.

 

Plus, I tend to get grumpy this time of year. It just irritates me so much that practically everyone assumes that I celebrate Christmas. I don't. And it doesn't help that when I try explaining my reasons most people try to give me reasons why my reasons are silly (i.e. not valid). 

 

So, I have to balance two jobs, therapy, workouts, making the apartment not look like a wreck, leisure/fun time, creative pursuits, and quality time with my wife. All while keeping my sanity. I hope I didn't leave anything out, because that's already a lot. (EDIT: I forgot basic self-care maintenance stuff, like remembering to eat, and hygiene.)

 

I can break the goal down into two parts: making a schedule, and following the schedule. I'm sure it can be broken into smaller steps, but I can't see it right now.

 

*Deep breath*

[Manarelle]

Ouch, looks like a tough month. Glad to hear some positives happened in November - here's to that trend continuing. 

 

For what it's worth, my gentleman and I don't really celebrate most holidays. It's pleasant to get the day(s) off, but... eh. I don't know if this would work well with social anxiety but keep in mind that you don't have to explain yourself. If it's too complicated or you know what the person's reaction will be, "for personal reasons (that are none of your business)" is a perfectly valid response. Just my two cents. 

 

Good luck with the time management. I have faith in you. 

[tourennatrix]

Schedules are good, good things. If you're interested in input, I can write up how I deal with mine and share (or not, because I know how being 'helpful' isn't always helpful

[tourennatrix]

3 minutes ago, Manarelle said:

 keep in mind that you don't have to explain yourself. If it's too complicated or you know what the person's reaction will be, "for personal reasons (that are none of your business)" is a perfectly valid response. Just my two cents. 

 

Good luck with the time management. I have faith in you. 

 

SO VERY THIS.

[zeroh13]

7 hours ago, Manarelle said:

For what it's worth, my gentleman and I don't really celebrate most holidays. It's pleasant to get the day(s) off, but... eh. I don't know if this would work well with social anxiety but keep in mind that you don't have to explain yourself. If it's too complicated or you know what the person's reaction will be, "for personal reasons (that are none of your business)" is a perfectly valid response. Just my two cents. 

I think I tend to explain because it's tied into another thing that I hate people assuming. The conversation usually goes:

"I don't do Christmas/Easter."

"Oh? Why not?"

"Because I'm not Christian."

"But it isn't a Christian holiday."

"..."

 

7 hours ago, tourennatrix said:

Schedules are good, good things. If you're interested in input, I can write up how I deal with mine and share (or not, because I know how being 'helpful' isn't always helpful

I think different perspectives are helpful. I usually do okay with the making schedule portion. I did it a lot when I was in college. It's the following schedule portion that I fail at. Which also happened a lot in college. >_<

[Sylvaa]

2 hours ago, zeroh13 said:

I think I tend to explain because it's tied into another thing that I hate people assuming. The conversation usually goes:

"I don't do Christmas/Easter."

"Oh? Why not?"

"Because I'm not Christian."

"But it isn't a Christian holiday."

"..."

 

This made me laugh so hard (not at you, at other people). Although (because I'm nosy), I'd be following up with - do you celebrate an alternative holiday?

 

FWIW, I know a lot of people who only use Christmas as a time to give presents to their family (this is totally me - I have no religious investment), which is probably why they react the way they do. But as people above have said, what you do is your business and no one should make you feel obligated to explain yourself!

 

Sounds like the next few weeks are going to be a trying time for you. I'm following because I know you will overcome!

[Manarelle]

2 hours ago, zeroh13 said:

I think I tend to explain because it's tied into another thing that I hate people assuming. The conversation usually goes:

"I don't do Christmas/Easter."

"Oh? Why not?"

"Because I'm not Christian."

"But it isn't a Christian holiday."

"..."

 

People actually say this? With a straight face? That's a sure sign that their opinion of you shouldn't make a lick of difference... in, you know, my opinion. (/facepalm)

[Darth Yoga]

9 hours ago, tourennatrix said:

Schedules are good, good things. If you're interested in input, I can write up how I deal with mine and share (or not, because I know how being 'helpful' isn't always helpful

 

I can also nerd out about the pros and cons of various time management systems.

 

I've historically had a lot of struggle with even basic time management, with terrible memory, easily distracted, poor sense of how long I've spent on an activity. I've gotten to a ton better.

 

One of the main things is working out whether or not you do well with scheduling tasks for certain days/times. A related issue is determining whether you do well with more systematic complexity than seems strictly necessary, or if you do better with something that is as simple as possible.

 

The biggest thing to avoid if whatever you try at first turns out to be a poor fit, don't decide you just need to "try harder". Look at what things are working and what things aren't, change your tactics, and try again.

 

There are a hundred different problems people have with time management and personal organization, and people have vastly different strengths and weaknesses with it. Most techniques are geared towards specific combinations of problems, strengths and weaknesses, so they work best for different people or different situations .

 

Anyway, I can nerd out about this for hours. I've given workshops on it. But I will stop being "helpful" unless you give me some indication it is actually helpful.

[RedStone]

Found you! Assasins, eh? Yep, holiday season. Stick to your schedule, put on the blinders. Congrats on the new job!!! Even with some growing pains. Hoody up!

[zeroh13]

I'll respond to your posts later, but right now I need to vent for a bit.

 

So I got the new job, I've talked to my current manager about my new schedule, and everything was going according to plan. And then today, my manager asks what he can do to convince me to stay. Of course I said I would think about it. And I spelled out that my two main issues are my pay & hours, and having supervisor responsibilities without the title. So now he's offered to make me the supervisor.

 

My first reaction is: Ha. So now you realize I'm not as expendable as you thought?

 

If this was just about the money, then easy decision, right? I take the raise and title and hours. Plus benefits and paid vacation. I tell my new boss, sorry, good luck.

 

But it's not just the money. What's kept me attached to this job for so long is that it's familiar. I know exactly what I have to do. And I'm terrified of changing that. But. There's just so many things that have piled up. And a promotion won't fix these things. I should have gotten a raise years ago when I started taking on more responsibility. And I asked for one. But someone higher up in the company said no. It was for a BS reason that I don't even remember, but it was obvious that it was about the bottom line. I should have been offered the supervisor position when our old one left two years ago. I wasn't. No one was. It probably had something to do with the bottom line. And then my co-workers, one by one, got what we call "real jobs". Which means I've been doing a lot more work by myself. Which means I have a lot less patience for all of the constant stupidity. And every week I get just a little bit closer to losing my temper and cursing someone out.

 

1) We've been chronically understaffed this semester. Meanwhile new people are hired by the department that runs mine. And they promoted someone to supervisor, while we're all looking around asking what about us? We're like the unwanted step-child that gets a nice gift every once and awhile to get us to just sit down and shut up.

 

2) The casual labor people he brings in to help annoy me to no end. They've done this enough times that I shouldn't have to constantly be giving them directions. And when you do give them directions, they'll disappear for way longer than their little task should take. They spend more time talking than working. Just hire some new employees that will actually treat this like a job.

 

3) I'm constantly cleaning up other people's messes, that they should have cleaned up. And it's simple things like sweeping, taking out the trash, and making sure there's no food left in the warmers.

 

4) Whenever I try to correct someone on how they are making the food, they never listen. Like, one game we had to toss out a bunch of chicken tenders because they were overcooked and we couldn't sell them. Several people said, hey that was overcooked, keep a closer eye on the next batch. And of course the next batch was just as bad as the one we just threw away.

 

5) When we aren't understaffed, people have a tendency to wander off, leaving one or two people to do all the work. 

 

6) And then there are the stupid things, like who thought it was a good idea to put condiment pumps in the freezer? Or that you should wrap sliced cheese, that isn't going to be used for a week or two, in foil? We have plastic wrap for a reason!

 

If I could ignore all of that, there's still the question of "why didn't you offer me this sooner?" And not just back when the supervisor left. I told him about the interview. I've been keeping him in the loop. The possibility of me leaving shouldn't be a surprise. Neither should the fact that if I leave, there will be no one in concessions. Just people who sign up to work events so they can get a little overtime on the weekend. Unless, you know, he actually hired people for concessions.

 

It's like, I'm struggling to make ends meet, so part of me wishes I could ignore all the bad and just take the money. And then part of me wants to take a stand. *Sigh*

[Sylvaa]

I totally feel you on pieces of this (I'm still bitter about getting passed over for a promotion and it has definitely changed my feelings about the company). 

 

If you were promoted to supervisor, would you be able to have an impact on any of the issues you listed above? Would taking the supervisor pay be enough to stop you from struggling to make ends meet? How does the supervisor job / the new job factor into your life goals? Does the new job have better prospects going forward?

 

 

[otterbyte]

Years ago, when I paralyzed with indecision between two lifepaths, someone gave me this advice: "Imagine yourself 5 years in the future, having made one choice or the other. Which one feels right?" I found that if I tried hard to really imagine myself several years down the road, having made one choice or the other, one of the choices made my gut twist and the other felt like a weight off my shoulders. Then the choice was easy. Don't know if it will help this specific situation, but I thought I'd throw that out there. Good luck and I hope you find peace with whatever decision you make.

[zeroh13]

On 11/30/2016 at 8:14 AM, Sylvaa said:

 

This made me laugh so hard (not at you, at other people). Although (because I'm nosy), I'd be following up with - do you celebrate an alternative holiday?

 

FWIW, I know a lot of people who only use Christmas as a time to give presents to their family (this is totally me - I have no religious investment), which is probably why they react the way they do. But as people above have said, what you do is your business and no one should make you feel obligated to explain yourself!

 

Sounds like the next few weeks are going to be a trying time for you. I'm following because I know you will overcome!

No one in my immediate family celebrates Christmas, but over the years we've come up with our own traditions (it's too long to type out right now). And I really don't mind explaining myself if the person I'm talking to is genuinely curious. I just don't have the patience to argue about something so basic. (It's a Christian holiday that a decent number of non-Christans celebrate for a variety of reasons.) Interestingly, a lot of the deeply religious people I've talked to have been more open. It'll be more "That's cool. Do you celebrate something else instead?" And the non-religious people tend to be more confrontational about it.  Maybe it's a reflection on how secure or insecure a person is about their own beliefs and decisions.

 

On 11/30/2016 at 8:51 AM, Darth Yoga said:

 

I can also nerd out about the pros and cons of various time management systems.

 

I've historically had a lot of struggle with even basic time management, with terrible memory, easily distracted, poor sense of how long I've spent on an activity. I've gotten to a ton better.

 

One of the main things is working out whether or not you do well with scheduling tasks for certain days/times. A related issue is determining whether you do well with more systematic complexity than seems strictly necessary, or if you do better with something that is as simple as possible.

 

The biggest thing to avoid if whatever you try at first turns out to be a poor fit, don't decide you just need to "try harder". Look at what things are working and what things aren't, change your tactics, and try again.

 

There are a hundred different problems people have with time management and personal organization, and people have vastly different strengths and weaknesses with it. Most techniques are geared towards specific combinations of problems, strengths and weaknesses, so they work best for different people or different situations .

 

Anyway, I can nerd out about this for hours. I've given workshops on it. But I will stop being "helpful" unless you give me some indication it is actually helpful.

The majority of my time will be taken up by things that I can't be flexible with: job #1, job #2, and Sleep. The rest of the stuff I can play around with to see what works and what doesn't.

 

I don't know how to explain what I struggle with exactly when it comes to managing my time. (Which I guess means I don't really understand it myself.) I'll have everything blocked out and color coded. My phone will send me reminders so I don't actually have to remember anything. I usually start out just fine, and then it just ends up falling apart.

 

On 12/1/2016 at 8:30 AM, Sylvaa said:

I totally feel you on pieces of this (I'm still bitter about getting passed over for a promotion and it has definitely changed my feelings about the company). 

 

If you were promoted to supervisor, would you be able to have an impact on any of the issues you listed above? Would taking the supervisor pay be enough to stop you from struggling to make ends meet? How does the supervisor job / the new job factor into your life goals? Does the new job have better prospects going forward?

 

 

If I was promoted, I would have the exact same impact that I do now. Deep down, a lot of the issues are pretty systematic. It would take a manager to come in and overhaul everything to really change things.

 

The promotion would be better in the short term, but the new job is better in the long term. At my current company, there's no upward mobility. It's extremely rare for a supervisor to be promoted to a manager. Supervisors aren't exactly compensated fairly either. For instance, you take a supervisor (who are not allowed to be in the union), and a regular full time worker, (who is automatically in the union) and that worker will have more than double the supervisor's vacation and sick days even though they haven't been with the company as long. (I was hired as a student worker, so no benefits and paid less. And I'm still classified as a student even though I graduated.) At the new job, there are opportunities for advancement. The owner promotes within and recognizes hard work. 

 

I had training yesterday, and the work environment is like night and day. At this new place, the workers are passionate about what they are doing. My current job? My department isn't as bad, but in the other departments there are quite a few bad apples who are doing everything they can to cheat the system. For example, they'll get enough warnings (like for no shows) that one more and they're fired. But the warnings expire after a year. As soon as one comes off, they'll do something that'll get another one put right back on. It's wrong, but they won't get in trouble for it.

 

 

This morning, I gave my manager my decision. Basically, I said I would stay on full time if I was made a manager. Which is something I know he can't do. So I laid out that if things stay the same, I'll stay part time for a month or two. But if I got a raise and some kind of promotion, something better than "student", I'll stick around till summer. 

 

And now it's just wait and see.

[zeroh13]

Yesterday was miserable! So here's what happened...

 

I was out of it all day. Like, zombified out of it. It just felt like I only got two or three hours of sleep. And a couple people at work asked if I was okay, so it must have really been showing. The meds can cause insomnia, and I think for me it's causing partial insomnia. Like, I can fall asleep at a decent time, but I'll always wake up around 4 am and I just won't be able to fall back asleep. Changing what time I go to bed doesn't really affect it. But changing what time I take the meds will. I just need to narrow down the ideal time to take them.

 

But, to top it all off, I got stuck in the elevator at work! I'm actually surprised I didn't have a panic attack. I'm terrified of heights. I'm a little claustrophobic. And elevators are already scary! I was just going up like normal, and this is a an elevator that I use dozens of times during events cause where we make the food and sell the food are on two different floors, so the elevator is going up, then it drops a couple feet, and then nothing. I push the buttons for all the floors. Nothing. So I pushed emergency button which connects to campus police. The nice lady on the other end tells me they're going to send someone to get me out. So I sit down and wait. I didn't want to stand in case the elevator decided it wanted to do something crazy. And I text my boss cause I don't know how long I'm going to be in there. Which turned out to be about 10 minutes. The elevator has a really annoying alarm when someone is using the fire service thing to move it. So that starts going off, and the elevator does this up and down thing like it doesn't know where to go. And then finally the doors open. The elevator is a few inches short of where it's supposed to be, which is pretty unsettlingly cause I've seen enough horror movies and played enough horror games to know that's not a good sign, but hey, the door is open! So I do this dramatic jumping lurch out. At least it was dramatic in my head, in reality it was probably this really awkward and clumsy thing where if this was a movie the director would be like "Cut! Do it again! It's not realistic enough!"

 

And to top that off, I almost got stuck in the elevator a second time! It did almost the exact same thing, except this time when I pushed the button for the floor, the elevator actually did what it was supposed to do.

 

Today didn't start much better. I texted some paperwork stuff to my new boss, and he texts me back, great thanks, you're going to be here at 11 for the meeting, right? And I'm thinking, you never told me what time to show up! Which I definitely did not say. I just said something like, I must have gotten the times mixed up. So I change in nearly record time, rush out the door, and then check the buses. I would have been 30 minutes late. So I ended up paying $10, and got there 30 minutes early. The meeting was fine though. And a bunch of us stayed a couple extra hours to help set up for the opening and clean up before the health inspector looks at the place tomorrow. (It was a bit of a mess from all the renovation.) And I found out that we get tips (that everyone gets a part of based on how many hours you worked), so my paycheck from this job might actually be pretty good if we can attract a lot of customers. I also found out that he's a real stickler for being on time. $10 well spent.

[tourennatrix]

Dude, congrats on handling the elevator situation! I can't imagine I would have handled that well (or braved going again so soon!).

[zeroh13]

Guys, I almost got stuck in the elevator again!!! It kept stopping, and going back down to the first floor, but the doors wouldn't open. I just kept pressing the button for the second floor, until it finally let me out. 

 

And stupidity struck again at work. Someone took the nozzle from the sanitizer bottle, and put it on the water bottle we use to mist the pretzels so we can put salt on them. I took photographic evidence and texted it to my boss. And then I threw out the water bottle, and put the sanitizer nozzle back on the sanitizer bottle, and then I went and marked all the sanitizer nozzles in the building with a sharpie. If it happens again, there will be no way to argue out of it. (The nozzles look nearly identical.)

[Sylvaa]

Oh my goodness for the elevator thing! That would totally freak me out (like, I'd be hefting things up and down stairs) and I'm neither claustrophobic or afraid of heights!

 

Also, ugh for work stupidity! But the sharpie thing was a great idea to keep it from (hopefully) happening again.

[zeroh13]

I haven't actually updated with any time management stuff, have I?

 

I've been messing with the Google calendar app. And it has this sort of nifty thing where you can add goals, like workout for 30 minutes three times a week, and it'll automatically schedule it for you. And then you can go through and adjust the times, and it's supposed to learn your preferences from that. It definitely simplifies putting things into the calendar. Though it would be really nice if I could just tell it, "hey, I won't be home then!" It likes to schedule my chores between my commute and my work hours (there's usually a half hour of space there, cause that's how public transportation works), or during the hour of free time I have between jobs when I work both on the same day.

 

What I've worked out is to have 10 minutes set aside in the morning for the daily dare. And other than that, I'm not going to worry about actual workouts. Both jobs are pretty active, and can be physically demanding. So I think that offsets the lack of workouts, until I'm back down to one job and will have enough time for it.  I've also set aside 10 minutes a day for cleaning. That's not enough time for big chores, but it's something. And I'm hoping that if I can do it everyday, eventually it will make some kind of difference. And then I have 30 minutes everyday for spending time with my wife. I'll be spending a lot more time with her on my days off, but 30 minutes is the minimum. I've also put in 8 hours of "sleep", but it's more of a go to bed at this time, and set your first alarm for that time. My meds have been messing with my actual sleep, but I think taking it in the evening has fixed that. But it's only been a couple days, so I'm cautiously optimistic.

 

As far as following the schedule, I'm falling a bit on the chores. But that's not too surprising. I just need to get into the habit of doing it. (Easier said than done.)

 

I haven't scheduled any time for creative stuff yet, but that will probably be relegated to days off or days when I work only one job. I also need to come up with some kind of game plan for my next project.

[Manarelle]

11 hours ago, zeroh13 said:

As far as following the schedule, I'm falling a bit on the chores. But that's not too surprising. I just need to get into the habit of doing it. (Easier said than done.)

 

I feel like we get this idea that we'll make a challenge goal and immediately nail it (all of us at NF - I know I'm guilty of this too). I love that you recognize it's not quite there yet, but time will make it so. Nice use of google calendar - I didn't know it would "learn" task timing. Might have to look into that come gardening season.  

[zeroh13]

2 hours ago, Manarelle said:

 

I feel like we get this idea that we'll make a challenge goal and immediately nail it (all of us at NF - I know I'm guilty of this too). I love that you recognize it's not quite there yet, but time will make it so. Nice use of google calendar - I didn't know it would "learn" task timing. Might have to look into that come gardening season.  

Most of the time my challenges start out great, but then end up losing stream. Sometimes fast, sometimes slowly. I'd rather have it the other way, start out kind of so-so and then end on a high note. But I have a lot of trouble with the whole motivation vs discipline dynamic.

 

It's the new Google calendar app, so not the same one that comes with your phone if you have an Android. I remembered getting an email about it some time ago and figured now would be a good time to try it out. I don't know if you can do the same stuff on the browser version, it's been awhile since I've used that one.

[Manarelle]

I'll have to look into the app. I have an iPhone, but haven't explored apps much beyond stupid flash games and google maps (not wanting to drive into the ocean or a wall or something). Thanks for the info!

 

4 hours ago, zeroh13 said:

Most of the time my challenges start out great, but then end up losing stream. Sometimes fast, sometimes slowly. I'd rather have it the other way, start out kind of so-so and then end on a high note. But I have a lot of trouble with the whole motivation vs discipline dynamic.

 

I was always the type to get super excited and devoted to a new thing, and then once the new fun wears off, it just kinda fizzled. It's taken a long time and a lot of work, but I have finally become someone who's mostly calm and collected (except certain topics like VR gaming). I may not be the fastest, the best, or the loudest, but by gosh, I will not stop til I get there. The leopard can change his spots. You can do it!

[Xena]

It sounds like you have done a really good job thinking through all the work stress. Your compromise offer with the old boss makes a lot of sense. Potentially staying around until summer gives you time to see how your finances are going to work out, what the outlook is on the new job, and if you need to consider other options. Seems smart, and you can always leave earlier if you need to. It really doesn't sound like you owe those people (at the old job) anything.

 

Hope the transition to the new job goes really well! How's it going with meeting the new people? For me, I think it helps just to tell myself that it's ok and "normal" to find these new situations stressful.

[zeroh13]

My social anxiety has surprisingly not been acting up. It's weird, but I'm not going to complain.

 

I thought everything was going pretty great. Until a couple people said that I really need to hurry things up. But I'm still learning how to make everything, and I'm not really good at using knives. Like, I need a lot of practice. But it's hard to practice when I have to hurry. I already got a pretty good nick on my thumb because I tried to go faster than I was really ready for. 

 

I'm slowly improving. It takes a while for me to really memorize things, so I can only go so fast. But I'm a little worried that I'm not improving fast enough.

 

And I'm not staying around till summer with my old job if I don't get some kind of raise there. I told him that would be what would get me to stay longer than a couple months. And I think i really need to stick by that. (I don't owe them anything, it's more the other way around. They really don't pay me a fair wage, and haven't for years. If I didn't struggle with all these mental issues I would have left a long time ago. Or at least have put more effort into trying to get myself the promotion and raise.)

[JessOfAllTrades]

I don't know why it took me this long to find your challenge! All caught up now.

 

Time management is a beast. Looking forward to seeing how it goes and picking your brain for what works well.

[Manarelle]

On 12/15/2016 at 8:50 AM, zeroh13 said:

I'm slowly improving. It takes a while for me to really memorize things, so I can only go so fast. But I'm a little worried that I'm not improving fast enough.

 

I have never met someone who hasn't thought this at a new job. Ask around, find out what the typical learning curve is. I'll bet you're doing just fine, but people are expecting you to work like a seasoned pro because you're so awesome that they forget you're new. 

 

On 12/15/2016 at 8:50 AM, zeroh13 said:

And I'm not staying around till summer with my old job if I don't get some kind of raise there. I told him that would be what would get me to stay longer than a couple months. And I think i really need to stick by that. (I don't owe them anything, it's more the other way around. They really don't pay me a fair wage, and haven't for years. If I didn't struggle with all these mental issues I would have left a long time ago. Or at least have put more effort into trying to get myself the promotion and raise.)

 

Good call. Stick to your guns and take care of yourself. Respect is earned, and it sounds like they haven't earned yours or given you much of theirs.