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FlyingJen

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So, December is my least favorite month. I've never been officially diagnosed or anything, but I suspect that I have a touch of Seasonal Affective Disorder. I sometimes struggle with bouts of depression and the struggle gets much worse in the winter months. Basically I just want to hibernate and have little motivation to do anything. On top of this, I struggle with bad feelings about the holiday season, because I'm not personally that into the whole thing for a slew of reasons I won't bore you all with. Nothing awful or traumatic, just a bunch of personal idiosyncrasies really. But I also feel the need to make an effort because of my family and also just feeling like only grumpy assholes don't like the holidays. It all just tends to become a downward spiral of depression, stress, and anxiety in which I feel bad for feeling bad because after all it is THE HAPPIEST TIME OF THE YEAR (TM). Every year I joke about just going away somewhere, but this year I'm going to figure out how to make it work for me and not be miserable. 

 

Goals for this challenge:

 

EXERCISE AND SELF-CARE

1. Go to yoga class once a week. I was going fairly regularly to yoga but started slacking off in the fall once they changed the time of the class I was going to regularly to 15 minutes earlier. I'm awful at mornings and 15 minutes earlier just doesn't work, but there are a bunch of classes later in the morning that I can certainly go to. I went today and realized how much I had missed it and how good it is for me.

2. Stretch. At least 15 minutes of stretching a day, focusing on working toward splits and preventing ongoing shoulder problems resulting from computer overuse. 

3. Meditate with sunlamp. I've been really good about this and I think it's helping! Keep meditating at least 15 minutes a day, with sunlamp to fight the SAD.

4. Other exercise. If I don't have an aerials class or yoga, do at least 15 minutes of exercise every day. Pullups, pushups, abs, weights.

 

SURVIVE AND THRIVE THE HOLIDAYS

1. Daily check-in. Is there anything holiday-task related that I need to do today? Is there anything that I am dwelling on that is making me upset? What can I be positive about today?

2. Prepare for the New Year. As much as Christmas makes me unhappy, I totally look forward to the New Year- starting over, making new plans, etc. Part of my plan for December is to try to view this as a period of cleansing/planning/trial by fire in order to start the New Year fresh. What can I do to be ready to enact positive changes and new projects in the New Year that will stick? This year I'm also thinking of rituals to do on New Year's day that will hopefully become a tradition. So far I'm planning on doing an hour-long meditation and going for a long walk in my local park (assuming the weather isn't bad enough to create unsafe conditions, but it's a paved 4.5 mile loop trail so as long as its safe to drive there it should be ok to walk.)

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Yes! Focusing on the upcoming new year seems like a great strategy if you aren't fond of the holidays. 

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20 hours ago, FlyingJen said:

But I also feel the need to make an effort because of my family and also just feeling like only grumpy assholes don't like the holidays. It all just tends to become a downward spiral of depression, stress, and anxiety in which I feel bad for feeling bad because after all it is THE HAPPIEST TIME OF THE YEAR (TM).

 

Something to consider, if you wish: society seems to be very superlative anymore - you can't be just "oh hey, I'm good," you have to be GREAT! A day isn't "meh, not so good," it has to be "liek omg the worst day evar." Instead of considering it a black and white option of Happiest Time of the Year vs Grumpy Asshole, is it possible to just peacefully see the good parts of the season without having to hemorrhage emotions everywhere? (Sorry for the weird visuals, hopefully that makes sense.)

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Manarelle the Level 56 Amazon Assassin

Challenges: 1-1011-2021-3031-4041-50, 51-60, Current

 

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On 11/30/2016 at 8:02 PM, Manarelle said:

 

Something to consider, if you wish: society seems to be very superlative anymore - you can't be just "oh hey, I'm good," you have to be GREAT! A day isn't "meh, not so good," it has to be "liek omg the worst day evar." Instead of considering it a black and white option of Happiest Time of the Year vs Grumpy Asshole, is it possible to just peacefully see the good parts of the season without having to hemorrhage emotions everywhere? (Sorry for the weird visuals, hopefully that makes sense.)

Haha, I love the weird visuals and that totally makes sense. I generally try to aim for a middle ground (in many things, really), but it can be difficult. I think you're right- society does seem to love extremes and I probably do too even though I know it's not healthy! 

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Ok, I'm officially starting my challenge tomorrow! I was away for the past 4 days/3 nights to visit my parents and (attempt to) sell my art and jewelry at a holiday art & craft show. It was a total bust, horrible sales. It was a two-day event that I had to travel for, and the first day was ok but the second day I sold NOTHING, which has never happened before in 10 years of doing these events! So I let myself spend today reading/sleeping/watching movies/being lazy. Over the weekend I did basically none of my self-care or exercise things, and ate too much crappy food because of traveling. I was hoping to do some stretching and handstands this evening but I had work to catch up on and it's already late. Sigh.

 

On the plus side:

 

I got to have a nice visit with both of my parents and then my mom came with me to help with the show and we stayed in a hotel so we got to spend lots of time together. 

 

Interesting realization: I helped decorate my parents' christmas tree, and they have all these ornaments that they've collected during their travels over the years, which I think is pretty cool and gives meaning to the whole thing. I think I'd be more enthusiastic about decorating a tree if I had meaningful ornaments instead of whatever random leftovers I have lying around or things that people have given me that I don't even like. Of course I've never cared enough about having a christmas tree to actually purchase ornaments while traveling, so I guess it's a Catch-22.  

 

I managed to have a nice relaxing day today and avoided wallowing too much in self-pity for having a lousy show or letting myself spiral down into a "why even bother" depression thing.

 

I've been avoiding Facebook for a variety of reasons, especially since the election, but today I posted about my craft show failure and got some really nice replies from people that made me feel better. I spend a lot of time thinking about the downsides of social media, but there are some pluses too.

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Yes for relaxation and self-care. I think it is nice to have meaningful Christmas ornaments, almost more if you don't like the holidays as much because then THEY help add some meaning and something to look forward too. :) Sorry you didn't have a great showing at the fair, but yes for community helping to build you back up after you've been knocked down a little! 

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Tuesday 12/6

EXERCISE AND SELF-CARE

1. Go to yoga class once a week. Planning to go on Thursday.

2. Stretch. Going to go do this right now!

3. Meditate with sunlamp. Didn't do this today as it's best to do in the morning and I had to leave early to take the car for repairs.

4. Other exercise. 100 Pullups Week 1 Day 1: 4/3/2/4/5; 4 handstand wall holds with a few seconds each time freebalancing. 10 pushups, 20 squats, 20 lunges. Not great but better than nothing.

 

SURVIVE AND THRIVE THE HOLIDAYS

1. Daily check-in. Made a list of things I need to do/gifts to buy/etc. Asked my sister to let me know what my nephews want for gifts.

2. Prepare for the New Year. Started a list of projects I want to tackle in 2017.

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Doing good. That is quite a few pull-ups soooo definitely way better than nothing!

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Wednesday 12/7

EXERCISE AND SELF-CARE

1. Go to yoga class once a week. Signed up for class on Thursday.

2. Stretch. Did 15 mins stretching while watching TV.

3. Meditate with sunlamp. 30 mins this morning

4. Other exercise. 100 Pullups Week 1 Day 1: 4/3/2/4/5; 13,000+ steps; Aerials class, performance prep, working on a new lyra routine. I usually do trapeze but wanted to do something different. Pretty happy with what I have so far.  

 

SURVIVE AND THRIVE THE HOLIDAYS

1. Daily check-in. Asked my partner to confirm with his family what we are doing for xmas dinner, which is the source of some anxiety as we usually host this but partner has to work the day after so we don't want to go overboard. We tried to host thanksgiving so we wouldn't have to do xmas, but that didn't fly, so we'll see...

2. Prepare for the New Year. Made plans to take some art and jewelry on Friday to two shops for consignment, part of plans to improve my business/sales next year. 

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Oooh, lyra routine! Fun. :D 

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Oof, got buried under a massive project. Finally done and catching up on the rest of my life...Was up until 3am two nights in a row doing work, now fighting my body's tendency to be nocturnal...

 

Thursday 12/8-Tuesday 12/13

EXERCISE AND SELF-CARE

1. Go to yoga class once a week. Did go to yoga on Thursday 12/8. Planning to go this Friday.

2. Stretch. Mixed. No stretching over the weekend, which is awful because I logged some serious hours on the computer and that's no good for my body. 30 minutes stretching Monday morning, which made me feel so much better. 

3. Meditate with sunlamp. 20 on Saturday, 20 mins this morning (Tuesday).

4. Other exercise. Trapeze class Friday morning, nothing Saturday/Sunday, trapeze class Monday. Going to do pullups/pushups/abs later today.

 

SURVIVE AND THRIVE THE HOLIDAYS

1. Daily check-in. Still no word on what the actual plans are for xmas dinner...it's up to my partner to contact his parents and he's been sick for the past three days and he doesn't want to deal with it. So far I'm doing good with not being annoyed, haha. Whatever. Bought a little tree and decorated it (definitely need to get some ornaments I actually like!), put a lighted wreath outside on the house (many people go totally all-out with lights and decorations in my neighborhood, but we just do a wreath out of indifference/laziness but still making a nod to the season). Almost all presents bought, cards sent out. I feel weird about cards because I have a HUGE family- my parents each have 4 siblings, and I have 17 cousins. Who theoretically should all get cards, but I just can't muster the energy for all that. This year I sent cards to my parents, my grandmother, my sister, one aunt who sent me a card (and only because she sent me a nice photo she took of me with my nephew), and two long-time friends.

2. Prepare for the New Year. Friday- delivered art and jewelry to shops. Started making a list of things I need to update on my website for next year.

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22 hours ago, FlyingJen said:

2. Stretch. Mixed. No stretching over the weekend, which is awful because I logged some serious hours on the computer and that's no good for my body. 30 minutes stretching Monday morning, which made me feel so much better. 

 

My coworker and I use a program called Stickies - it lets you create a stickie note on your desktop and then put it to sleep. You won't see it until the prescribed time, then it'll pop up and shake around so you can't ignore it. We both have it set to go off every hour to remind us to get up and stretch during the workday. Might be helpful for those long projects... Grats on the xmas prep. I have cards sitting on my counter that are crying out to be written on but meh. How's the trapeezing going? 

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Manarelle the Level 56 Amazon Assassin

Challenges: 1-1011-2021-3031-4041-50, 51-60, Current

 

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8 hours ago, Manarelle said:

 

My coworker and I use a program called Stickies - it lets you create a stickie note on your desktop and then put it to sleep. You won't see it until the prescribed time, then it'll pop up and shake around so you can't ignore it. We both have it set to go off every hour to remind us to get up and stretch during the workday. Might be helpful for those long projects... Grats on the xmas prep. I have cards sitting on my counter that are crying out to be written on but meh. How's the trapeezing going? 

Ooh, thanks! I'll try that. I've tried various timers on my computer and also setting them on my phone. It works well for a while but then I start just ignoring it. Part of the problem is that with this particular type of work (magazine layout) I get very much into a flow and it's actually annoying to stop even though I know I should. 

 

Wednesday 12/14

EXERCISE AND SELF-CARE- Feeling a bit sick-ish today (allergies? mental tricks because my partner has been sick? actually getting sick? we'll see! Small cough/sore throat/etc.). Slept horribly last night, headache all morning which thankfully went away after extra sleep. Lousy mood, definitely attributable to PMS, so far doing a good job of letting negative emotions go vs. getting caught up in them.

1. Go to yoga class once a week. Signed up for class on Friday. It's a Yin class instead of my usual Flow class which will be a nice change. 

2. Stretch. Planning to stretch before bed.

3. Meditate with sunlamp. No meditation today. Slept too late because of the headache and then felt frantic about getting work done. I have to remember though that meditation is NOT the same as sleeping or relaxing or being lazy...

4. Other exercise. Skipped performance prep class this evening for fear of headache coming back/general sickishness/malaise/not wanting to be upside down with drippy nose. Sigh. Did manage to do Week 1 Day 2 of 100 Pullups- 4/3/3/4/5.

 

SURVIVE AND THRIVE THE HOLIDAYS

1. Daily check-in. Partner left voicemail for his mom to find out what the heck the plan is for Xmas dinner. Went out to Target last night to get Lego Star Wars Resistance X-Wing fighter for my brother in law. I love that he actually asked for Lego for himself. Almost all the gifts ordered online have arrived. Big thing- I still need to paint the portrait of my nephews that I do every year for my sister! Ugh. Once I get it started it usually doesn't take too long but I've just been swamped with paid work. 

2. Prepare for the New Year.  Nothing really today...

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On 12/14/2016 at 11:00 PM, FlyingJen said:

Part of the problem is that with this particular type of work (magazine layout) I get very much into a flow and it's actually annoying to stop even though I know I should. 

 

Oooh, yeah, that makes sense. Amazing how hard it is to get back into something even after a quick break. 

 

On 12/14/2016 at 11:00 PM, FlyingJen said:

Skipped performance prep class this evening for fear of headache coming back/general sickishness/malaise/not wanting to be upside down with drippy nose.

 

Totally sympathize with this. For some reason, EVERY time I do a 4-point landing (hands and feet) in parkour, my nose starts running. I can't imagine being inverted with that problem. Hope you feel better soon!

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Manarelle the Level 56 Amazon Assassin

Challenges: 1-1011-2021-3031-4041-50, 51-60, Current

 

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Wednesday 12/21.

Oof. Been sick for approximately the past week. 'Tis the season?

Basically everything has been super haphazard regarding all my plans/goals. Have been utterly demotivated and sleeping a lot. Oh well. Feeling a bit better today, hoping to at least not spend all of tomorrow sleeping. 

 

EXERCISE AND SELF-CARE- 

1. Go to yoga class once a week. Did go to class last Friday despite drippy nose. It's a heated class so that felt nice.

2. Stretch. Have been absolutely horrible about this the past week...

3. Meditate with sunlamp. Hit or miss. Have done it some days, skipped others. Having a problem with being very tired and dozing off while meditating!

4. Other exercise. Have done a bunch of pullups at least. Skipped trapeze class on Monday because my nose was running constantly so that wasn't going to go well. Did go to performance prep class tonight. Lyra routine is making progress. Bruised the shit out of my biceps trying to do elbow circles. Have a confirmed date for the performance at the end of January. It was good to get out of the house and do some exercise after more or less sleeping for the past two days.

 

SURVIVE AND THRIVE THE HOLIDAYS

1. Daily check-in. 2.5 hours work completed on the nephews portrait. Am very happy with it, just have to finish some details and the faces (which is always the scary part!). We are not hosting any xmas things at our house which makes me happy as I don't have to clean. All gift wrapping completed.

2. Prepare for the New Year.  Nothing really today...

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Sorry to hear you got sick. Hopefully that's all cleared up now? I would argue that sleeping when you're sick is the best form of self-care. I know that when I have leave to take off and sleep when I first get sick, recovery time is roughly half of that when I have to work through it. Hopefully the rest of the week has improved?

 

In light of your challenge, I wish you, not a happy, but a calm Christmas and a positive new year. :) 

Manarelle the Level 56 Amazon Assassin

Challenges: 1-1011-2021-3031-4041-50, 51-60, Current

 

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On 12/24/2016 at 11:15 AM, Manarelle said:

Sorry to hear you got sick. Hopefully that's all cleared up now? I would argue that sleeping when you're sick is the best form of self-care. I know that when I have leave to take off and sleep when I first get sick, recovery time is roughly half of that when I have to work through it. Hopefully the rest of the week has improved?

 

In light of your challenge, I wish you, not a happy, but a calm Christmas and a positive new year. :) 

Thank you so much! Thankfully the cold was all gone before Christmas. I'm a huge advocate of just sleeping when sick- it does seem to help. 

 

I actually had a pretty good time at the various holiday celebrations although I was definitely peopled-out by the time the Monday gathering with extended family rolled around. It was fine though. 

 

This week has been weird because my partner has been working a strange shift (12pm-10pm Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, off today and tomorrow and Saturday, then working 12-10 again on Sunday). I have no idea what day it is today! 

 

Exercise and meditation have both been non-existent lately and I've been eating way more sugar than usual. Had a dream that I gained a bunch of weight and felt awful.

 

Spent a lot of time cleaning the house on Wednesday, which is part of my preparing for New Year's thing every year. 

 

Haven't really checked in here. Feeling very anti-computer/social media. Have decided to take a break from all social media/internet stuff for all of January, except posting on my own art site. It'll be an interesting experiment...

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It's not a bad experiment! Hope it goes well. Glad you are feeling better and had a nice holiday. :) 

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67666564636261605958 575655545352515049484746454443424140393837363534333231302928272625242322212019181716151413121110987 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1

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