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Owlet sticks out the last of the year


Owlet

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Little bit late here and pretty vague, but here goes:

 

I skipped last challenge due to personal reasons and just needing some time out. Still feeling rubbish but well enough to attempt some sort of challenge - not so much to create new habits as get back on track with the ones I had before shit hit the fan.

 

Move:

Do physio exercises 2-3 times per week

Use massage ball on trigger points 5 times per week

stand 2-4 hours per day at work

 

Mind:

Meditate/chant every day

 

Other:

Do things for me? Socialise etc?

 

Super simple, but that's about all I can handle right now. That'll take me to the end of the year and 3 weeks holiday - aw yusss. 

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*waves pom poms*

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Following!

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8 hours ago, Love_Of_Snuggles said:

Simple is often the hardest. Best of luck!

And also: simple is often the most beneficial.

 

@Owlet - I love your challenge. :frog: 

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20 hours ago, fleaball said:

*waves pom poms*

I started looking for some sort of cat pom pom gif but I got distracted by this:

tumblr_le6dx37tV31qcj2uc.gif

I want to stop looking but I'm caught...

 

18 hours ago, Love_Of_Snuggles said:

Simple is often the hardest. Best of luck!

 

16 hours ago, NeverThatBored said:

Following!

 

12 hours ago, Bee said:

We're in the same boat!  I fell apart last challenge but am back for something really simple this time.  Good luck.  

 

9 hours ago, LittleTurtle said:

And also: simple is often the most beneficial.

 

@Owlet - I love your challenge. :frog: 

 

Thanks and welcome everyone! Here's hoping for a not tooo hard challenge that brings many benefits heh.

 

I forgot to actually time how long I stood today but I'd say about 3 hours. I set a 30 minute timer on my phone so I alternate sitting and standing. Still ended up with a sore back but I'm getting a massage tomorrow so hopefully that'll help. Did physio exercises and trigger points at lunch. Chanted after work - would've been good to do longer, but I was late home from work and hungry for dinner. It still helped though, yay :) Dinner was delicious - harissa roasted vegetables, quinoa and haloumi salad, nomms. Mood improved a bit once I got home. Still feeling very lonely in general. I have some good friends, they just have their own lives and can't always be checking up on me. It's hard to be ok with that sometimes. 

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5 hours ago, Owlet said:

I have some good friends, they just have their own lives and can't always be checking up on me. It's hard to be ok with that sometimes. 

 

It's really hard. Why can't we all just be in cool friend cults where we can hang out with our friends all the time??

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Gargoyle Ranger | Level 49

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My epic quest | MEATBALL WARS

You don't get better at anything unless you start doing it.

Being alive is heckn swell. 

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8 minutes ago, NeverThatBored said:

 

It's really hard. Why can't we all just be in cool friend cults where we can hang out with our friends all the time??

The world probably couldn't handle all of us being in the same place at the same time. 

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12 hours ago, Bookish Badger said:

Following!

 

8 hours ago, zenLara said:

Following!

 

Yay! Welcome :)

 

12 hours ago, NeverThatBored said:

 

It's really hard. Why can't we all just be in cool friend cults where we can hang out with our friends all the time??

 

12 hours ago, fleaball said:

The world probably couldn't handle all of us being in the same place at the same time. 

 

Ha, yeah that's probably true.

 

So I ended up feeling really shit last night, worst I've felt in ages. I'm a little ashamed to admit it's partly because I keep asking friends what they're doing for New Years and if I can join, since I don't automatically have company anymore. And I've had two invites but one is to a camping trip about 6-8 hours drive away and the other is to a party where I wouldn't know anyone. Everyone else has plans that don't include me, mostly by chance but it's hard not to take it personally. And they a;; say things like "oh I'm sure you'll find something to do, you won't be alone don't worry!" but honestly at this stage it's looking like I'll be sitting in my childhood room alone, feeling like shit. Wow I am mopey today. 

 

I was really glad last night that my ex and I are still talking because he was the only one who seemed to care and wanting to chat. Everyone tells me we should break off all contact for a while to help with the healing process but that is the last thing I feel like doing right now since no one else is really there for me.

 

Ugh sorry, this isn't very challenge related. I've been doing my standing goal stuff though. Getting a massage soon for my neck and shoulders, phew. 

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:( I'm sorry things have been so rough. You know what though, don't be ashamed about trying to do something with your friends. You get points for looking for something to do instead of just deciding to sit at home and sulk. (For the record, I freaked out about the camping trip because who the hell goes camping in January?! But then I realized it's summer there. Derp.) There's still time for plans to change and if they don't then you can make it into a fun night for yourself. I'm planning on skipping the party I've been invited to because the people stress me out more than I have fun with them. Instead I'm thinking of doing something super cheesy and like, getting relaxing candles and word vomiting in my journal and also writing down like, bad memories/things from the year and burning them to make them go away or whatever and start the year fresh. I know this doesn't help you much but maybe there's a way you can spin it to have an enjoyable night regardless. 

 

I also vote for surrounding yourself with small furry creatures. Steal them from your neighbors.

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5 hours ago, Owlet said:

Everyone else has plans that don't include me

I'm so sorry. It is sad. 

You could do something by yourself, as flea suggested. Some "me" time. Also, what are people from your buddhist group doing? Maybe they don't celebrate as a group, but could you join some of them? Or if they don't do anything special, you could propose something to those you feel close to.

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The battle must be fought anew every day

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7 hours ago, fleaball said:

:( I'm sorry things have been so rough. You know what though, don't be ashamed about trying to do something with your friends. You get points for looking for something to do instead of just deciding to sit at home and sulk. (For the record, I freaked out about the camping trip because who the hell goes camping in January?! But then I realized it's summer there. Derp.) There's still time for plans to change and if they don't then you can make it into a fun night for yourself. I'm planning on skipping the party I've been invited to because the people stress me out more than I have fun with them. Instead I'm thinking of doing something super cheesy and like, getting relaxing candles and word vomiting in my journal and also writing down like, bad memories/things from the year and burning them to make them go away or whatever and start the year fresh. I know this doesn't help you much but maybe there's a way you can spin it to have an enjoyable night regardless. 

 

I also vote for surrounding yourself with small furry creatures. Steal them from your neighbors.

True, I hadn't thought of it like that, thanks. I mean, I am kind of sitting at home sulking now and don't really want to keep asking people what they're doing because I've done it so many times and made no progress. And I like the sound of making plans to do something nice for myself. Heck, I like the idea of just being OK about being me. I guess it's just hurting because NY hasn't been an issue for years, I've always had friends around keen to do stuff and include me. But now all of a sudden it feels like everyone forgot me. Not that it's intentional, but it still hurts. 

 

Haha, camping in mid winter, no thanks. I like the sound of stealing small furry creatures though, that would be rad. Oh man, I want a kitten for christmas. Actually probably a grown cat, kittens get exhausting after a while lol. 

 

2 hours ago, zenLara said:

I'm so sorry. It is sad. 

You could do something by yourself, as flea suggested. Some "me" time. Also, what are people from your buddhist group doing? Maybe they don't celebrate as a group, but could you join some of them? Or if they don't do anything special, you could propose something to those you feel close to.

Another good idea! Since I'll be in my hometown I won't be around any of my Buddhist friends unfortunately, but I know there are members down there so might be able to sort something. Maybe not for NY but would be nice to meet some of them while I'm down. 

 

Finally feeling a bit better now. It was a rough day - slept in, battled through the morning with sore, puffy eyes, wanted to cry but managed to keep it together. Sometimes it's good to have a job to go to, it forces me to pick myself up instead of wallowing all day and feeling worse. I got a text from my oldest friend reminding me we are going to see Fantastic Beasts tomorrow night, so that helped. In all my angst I'd totally forgotten and assumed she was too busy to think of me like everyone else (so melodramatic lol)

 

Sometimes it just feels like I have to scream to get anyone to notice me, when really I just need to be a bit more open about how I'm feeling. I forget that not everyone is super sensitive or understated, that sometimes you do just have to spell it out. To me that feels like screaming heh.

 

I had a good chant tonight though and realised this is a problem I keep coming back to - feeling lonely and completely insignificant - and that was almost a relief. Because that means it's something I can overcome. Just that simple shift in mindset, from 'woe is me' to 'here's an obstacle that's causing me pain, I can fight this.' Maybe it's because when you don't know what is wrong, you don't know how to fight. But once you see your target, you can get some hits in. It's not going to be easy of course, this is right at the core of my personality and I have no idea how to shift it. One step at time I guess...

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8 hours ago, Owlet said:

the other is to a party where I wouldn't know anyone.

I actually once did that, and had a brilliant time!  Or what @fleaball said, did that as well (age = experience ;) at least sometimes)

 

Your mindset shift sounds like it could lead to something fruitful.  Good luck!

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9 hours ago, fleaball said:

I also vote for surrounding yourself with small furry creatures. Steal them from your neighbors.

 

1 hour ago, Owlet said:

Haha, camping in mid winter, no thanks. I like the sound of stealing small furry creatures though, that would be rad. Oh man, I want a kitten for christmas. Actually probably a grown cat, kittens get exhausting after a while lol. 

 

 

 

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Gargoyle Ranger | Level 49

2022 challenges:  49 (current)

2015-2021 challenges: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 || 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 || 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 || 43 | 44 | 45 | | 46 | 4748 ||

 

My epic quest | MEATBALL WARS

You don't get better at anything unless you start doing it.

Being alive is heckn swell. 

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10 hours ago, Vibrantella said:

I actually once did that, and had a brilliant time!  Or what @fleaball said, did that as well (age = experience ;) at least sometimes)

 

Your mindset shift sounds like it could lead to something fruitful.  Good luck!

Here's hoping! I feel better today at least, so that's something :)

 

8 hours ago, NeverThatBored said:

 

 

Woah woah woah, you just opened up a whole new world to me.... thanks haha

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What a week. Yesterday I still felt very low all morning but I had a great lunch with my Buddhist friend. I mean, I cried through most of it, but she was so empathetic and full of encouragement that I felt quite restored by the end if the day. She have me some good ideas for my art practice which helped me feel less anxious about finishing work next year. We talked lots

about my loneliness and heartbreak too. It felt really nice to have someone supporting me, usually it's the other way around. I love supporting people of course, it's just that I'm not very good at expressing myself and asking for help when I need it. It feels like people are being insensitive but really I just hide my hurt too well I think. 

 

I felt much much more positive today. I collected my prints from

in town (ouch printing is expensive!) and even managed to do a little Christmas shopping. I had a massage after work that was so relaxin I kept drifting off to sleep. The problems started when I went to visity

friend... Ex messaged me just as I got there and I said I was visiting a friend. I heard my

phone go a couple of times after that but ignored. Finally I checked and he was getting all anxious because I hadn't replied. By this stage my friend was telling me about a fight she had with her bf so I was trying to listen and support her and reassure my ex without being too rude. Then he thought I was really upset because I have a brief reply and aurghhh. I just suddenly felt so stressed out and drained and sick of everything. My friend had to leave then anyway so I barely got to talk to her. And then of course ex says sorry, don't worry it's nothing I just thought you were mad at me. Yeah well, now I am. Sigh. This is why we broke up, so it's good to have a reminder just when I was really starting to miss him. So over this week though. 

 

My my mum is in town tomorrow though so that will be really nice, and I am going to a Buddhist meeting. Now I need to work out prices and titles for my art... 

 

No goals have been met really. I chanted yesterday for a little bit, and I did a few 30munute blocks of standing today but not enough. Way behind on physio exercises doh. Bring on the holidays. 

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I clicked "like" on your comment, though it's not exactly that what I feel about it.

I like that you found someone to support you in a moment when you needed it, but I am sorry you're feeling like this. Maybe not answering your ex anymore would be too much of a radical approach (and however it proved useful to me a few times) but maybe you can begin by slowly distance yourself from him? My point is, for how long do you want this pseudo-relationship to continue? Think long term. Do you want it to be still there in 6 months? In a year? Which steps do you think you can take to improve the situation? I have nothing against your ex, but I don't think the situation as it is is helping you in any way.

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The battle must be fought anew every day

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22 hours ago, zenLara said:

Maybe not answering your ex anymore would be too much of a radical approach (and however it proved useful to me a few times) but maybe you can begin by slowly distance yourself from him?

Yeah that's pretty much my plan. I know I need to be talking much less to him in the long run, it's just getting there is so difficult. I'm hoping it'll be easier over Christmas - I'll be staying with family and too busy to be checking my phone constantly. It can be a 'weaning' period lol. 

 

I had a good weekend after all that. I felt a bit off on saturday morning but Mum was visiting and I had a Buddhist meeting, so by the time lunch rolled around I was feeling much better :) We spent the afternoon framing my paintings, ready for the exhibition. I did the finishing touches today and delivered everything to the gallery, then popped over to the community garden. Finished fixing the fence so chickens can't get in and planted my sweat pea seedlings. Can't wait till they are flowering!

 

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When is the exhibition? I hope it goes super awesomely (which is totally a word)!

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3 minutes ago, Owlet said:

Opening is tomorrow (tuesday) evening :) Fingers crossed it goes better than last time lol. I think the subject matter and prices will appeal to a much wider audience, so here's hoping.

Woooooo best of luck <3

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Level 69 Battle Kitten

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Je suis partie pour reconstruire ma vie

C'est dit, c'est ainsi

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