A journey of a 1000 stairs...

[Lena Llanasolion]

My Story: I have journeyed for 11 years on a path spanning three countries. I have gathered companions in the way of my husband, my two children, my aged parents, and two dogs. We have finally settled down in a stable location with ample space to roam and build. Food has never been scarce but when addressing the needs of others I fail to address my own. Time is another factor that is absent between work and chores. Finally, stress - there is the constant threat of destabilizing forces both imagined and real, internal and external. This is my story.

Spoiler

Weighted stair count challenge for myself - 1000 flights up as tracked by my fitbit, all while wearing a 10kg backpack.  Should take about 12 weeks.  Once completed this Topic is done. 

 

[Lena Llanasolion]

I believe the universe lets us battle our daily adversaries, forgetting that it exists, and then comes the day when we are defeated, bruised, beaten to the lowest of our abilities.  At that point, if we turn to the universe and stretch our arms out and ask

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What now? What can I do? What is here for me? Where do I go? 

The universe responds.  The universe will always respond.

 

Close your eyes, take a step and you will find yourself on the right path.  All it took was to submit to your own failures and to admit defeat.  

 

Such was the case when an outburst between myself and my husband led me to the path of counseling.  Such was also the case when I joined Nerd Fitness.  I tried all the things, I am a scientist/scholar by nature and read all the things, do all the things... but at the end of the day the missing ingredient was the one that will motivate me to success.

 

I am driven by my heart.  I have been advised by all the wise ones that my heart and spirit are lacking in motivation.  Years of a stressful job, stressful relationship, and two young children have taken a severe toll on my confidence and my ability to be my own cheerleader.  That's where Nerd Fitness comes in.  Already on the Facebook group I feel like I am amongst my peers.  We're all on this same journey of self-discovery and overcoming unbelievable odds.

 

We are seeking mastery of life, a balance, understanding.  

 

I want to return to the essence of my former self. I know I can not BE the person I was 20 years ago - but I can remember her.  I can see her in my mind.  I want to have her energy and her stamina.  She has since achieved SO MANY brilliant things, she is so capable.  I want to strive to be like her.

 

My mindset goals are

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I want to look in the mirror and recognize myself as that person who does cross country, canoe trips, and play baseball with the boys. I want to wear ANYTHING and look good. I want to feel good. I want to have confidence. I want to be calm.

 

My current inspiration is

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One thing that inspires me is the day I took that step and arrived in Ireland without knowing anyone or anyplace and trusted that my path would lead me in the right direction. In the end, that was the wisest course and step. I didn't complete my PhD but I did gain a husband and many cherished memories and friends. I will always value the time I spent in Ireland. I was freer than I had ever been in all my life. If I can do that, then I can do this.

 

[Lena Llanasolion]

So I got all dressed this morning to do a workout - and realized it's not a workout day but a cardio day.  So wondering if I put the 10kg backpack on, if I'd be over doing it if I get my 25 flights in.  Like cardio with weights should that only be on the workout days? In which case, then I should just do the stairs and the warm up/cool down... for cardio and call it a day.  It's only week one - I'll figure this out.  

 

Rest days == important.  

[Lena Llanasolion]

Thought of the day: I should take up writing again.  Lena is the grand-daughter of Llana.

2nd thought of the day: Time?

 

Today I am appropriately decked in my workout gear.  I have my indoor shoes on and I'm ready to go.

 

Goals:

• 10,000 steps
• 12 flights of stairs w/ 10KG backpack
• 25 flights total stairs (inclusive of above)
• Warm Up, Cool Down c/o NF
• Workout 2B

Cheats:

• Need to get up and moving during our daily standing at 11AM (always adds 1k steps)
• Pre-lunch stair flights, our babysitter is aware of what to prep for lunch so I don't get tied up there
• Snow & weak ankles - means that I didn't end up walking the dogs as I normally would do in the morning therefore need to make up for it at lunchtime or after work and do an extra round

Food:

• Keeping with having a protein boost in the morning, tried the (disgusting) whey protein as a chocolate drink. Mixed half milk and half boiling water. I think I understand why people drink this cold.  The milk frother did well to mix it though.  Going to try it cold next time. Added 2 tspns of cocoa to try to bring up the flavor - then drank a big cup of cold tea to keep it down and get the bad taste out of my mouth.  Bad taste is still there an hour later. So chemical. (Won't be buying another thing of whey protein but will continue with this until I run out and find substitutes.  I prefer eggs and mung beans.. will just have to research)

[Lena Llanasolion]

Into my 3rd week and after defeating the Widowmaker at the end of week 2.  I'm finding the workouts as defined by Nerd Fitness to be challenging and interesting.  My personal goal to hike stairs with a weighted backpack is also going well.  After 2 weeks of 12 stairs on my workout days (weighted down by approximately 10 kg).  I upped the number of stairs to 20 stairs.  I think that's a comfortable number and when this feels 'easy' I will up it yet again probably via a heavier backpack.

 

My phobia is currently the gym.  It's so hard to go to the gym and yet I have a membership!  The reason it's hard is because the weather outside is frightful.  I'm also afraid of all the eyes.  I don't like being watched when I do my workouts.  For this reason, I ordered a pull up bar from Amazon.  But that said, I need to defeat this demon.  I'll work on it in the New Year.

 

Nerd Fitness Level: 3

Number of workout days a week: 3

Stair count: Week1 (2x12), Week2 (3x12), Week3 (20) == 80 stairs! 920 more to go!

 

Goals: 

- Get to bed at bedtime each night (8rs sleep)

- Meditate every day for at least 2 minutes

- Keep to 3 workouts/week schedule

[Lena Llanasolion]

Week 5 - my Christmas holidays and New Years only a minor setback - a break from everything if you will.  

 

New Year's Resolutions:

 

- I will find 3 things to be grateful about each day

- I will focus on being mindful and recognize when I am reactive

- I will go to bed on time

- I will be kind to my spouse

- I will not accept gifts of negativity or spurs to react

- I will stick with the rebellion and I will identify my deepest demons, having identified

 

Demons that I am tasked to capture and convert to good:

 

  Demon STAGNANT CHANGEN:  Fear that there is no change.

 

Often it feels like there is no change happening. Yet incremental changes are constantly happening.  Figuring out how to better gauge change.  Sometimes its a compliment from someone who is unawares of my battles.  Sometimes it's recognizing that carrying something is way easier than it was before.  Maybe its looking into his face and seeing love where before I just couldn't see it.  Change happens but sometimes we're utterly blind to it.

 

Tactics: 

• Identify parameters that can be measured (measurements, weight, gratitude towards my spouse)
• Measure and document
• Change happens. 
• Mantra: All things must change.

 

  Demon GYMNOS: Fear of the gym.

 

Gymnos, naked... but gymnos the gym.  Going to the gym where I signed up my hard earned money for access to machines, weights, a pool, and classes.  Somehow, getting into the car and getting myself out there is impossible some days. It's much more comforting to do a workout at home.  But part of the fear is that fear of being naked. Being exposed. Being in plain sight of all the other people who are critical of every belly roll, every jiggle. She doesn't belong here! Is what is muttered in the recesses of my brain.  She is too fat, too overweight.  The struggle is too great.  

 

Tactics:

• Implement 60 seconds of bravery: Get in the car, start the engine, get to the gym, go inside, go participate, do the things, come home. Celebrate. Feel good. Repeat.

  Demon LUBYATI: Fear of falling out of love with life, my love, and everything.

 

Low self esteem leads to a misleading view of the universe.  Those who love and care about you the most are perceived in the harshest light.  Excitement about life and adventures wanes and waxes.  However the general lowness of energy is in this loss of heart.  Loss of spirit at the basest level.  LUBYATI should not be perceived as heartbreak.  

 

Tactics:

• Practice compassion towards myself and secondarily to others
• Recognize when my heart opens and bask in the love towards the people in my life
• Record gratitude towards loved ones on a daily basis
• Think and speak lovingly
• Reject negative thinking and views

 

Spoiler

Introducing inner demons STAGNANT CHANGEN, GYMNOS, LUBYATI... who I must through perseverance convert to the good.  Rather than being subjected by my fears - I must battle these demons to pass the next epic battle.

 

[Elastigirl]

Lots of grat thoughts here. I love the demons and defeat tactics!

[Lena Llanasolion]

As an update LUBYATI and CHANGEN have been cornered and I have been slowly working my tactics on them.  GYMNOS remains elusive.  

 

   Demon MOTUS: Compassion for onself and everyone

 

I carry this demon in an amethyst locket close to my heart.  Occasionally it gives off a burst of warmth to remind me to be compassionate towards myself.  Compassion to others is easy but compassion to oneself is difficult.    

 

Tactics:

• Forgive myself my failures
• Accept that which I can not seek to change
• Be good to others
• Patience

 

   Demon TEMPUS: That who controls time and the availability of time

 

Tempus is the little demon that controls the sands as they fall in the time piece.  At a glance you see that more sand has fallen than you had before expected and now you are short for time.  Time always exists and we are all masters of our time however it may feel in the day to day barrage of things that need to be done.  

 

Tactics:

• Plan ahead and get the workouts done ahead of busy schedule
• Multi-task, do things when you see there is a moment available
• Make time, ask for help while getting goals accomplished

Spoiler

Yesterday, I bested TEMPUS by getting my workout in before the workday started.  However, he got me back - I missed my 15 flights of weighted stairs.  Sadly, did not get those in.  But MOTUS helped me get through that failure.  Weighted stair count to date = 75

 

[Elastigirl]

Tempus seems to get me sometimes too. I find him to be most deceptive when I am on the computer.

[Lena Llanasolion]

Today I have two interesting demons to describe and tackle...

 

   Demon VIRES NEGATIVAE: Negative forces

 

This is a hard demon to tackle for one, I don't see him coming.  This demon is super attracted to people who aim to please.  I'm minding my own business doing all the things and then suddenly I realize I'm doing something because I feel pressured by the expectations of another person.  I am changing my stance, changing my actions, behavior.  I am no longer comfortable in my skin.  I am suddenly exhausted and unhappy because I am not taking the break I need or finding my inner peace.  I am feeling judged. I am feeling harangued.  I am feeling harassed.  I lose my grounding because of this demon.  

 

Tactics:

• Work on grounding:
  • Picture roots descending into the ground at my feet and ground myself
  • Alternate nostril breathing
• Work on shielding:
  • Being self-aware through meditation to recognize what comes from within vs what comes from without 
  • Accept that which I can not change
  • Absorb the energy rather than reflecting/reacting
  • Practice equanimity

   Demon SEMPER EXIGIT: Constant demands

 

This demon is not as terrible as VIRES NEGATIVAE but they often join forces.  This is a demon that can be captured and tamed.  This demon arises like a storm and assaults you with all the things that need to be done and now.  Such as my young sons needing to be fed or clothed or listened to and now.

 

Tactics:

• Practice patience with yourself and others
• Recognize when a demand is not a fire
• Prioritize
  • Take the time to identify all the things that need to be done
  • Recognize what can be put off for later and put it off for late
  • Recognize that if its important and I don't get to it, it will come back around again
• Plan ahead and multi-task where possible
• Replace reactive actions with habit forming actions
• Recognize that I am not alone
  • Great success in tackling this demon as a group

 

[Lena Llanasolion]

1/10 of the way there! 105 weighted stairs hit as of yesterday.

 

Today I was good with planning but found another demon has been a visiting.  

 

  Demon SUMPTIBUS CONSUMPTA: Roughly translates to spent expenses.  

 

This is an interesting demon to tackle.  Some may call it motivation.  I call it a general lack of energy because you're feeling spent (e.g. wallet after a shopping spree).  You think that you have the reserves, but you're actually starting with a negative balance.  This is a demon well worth defeating.  Waking up in the morning feeling energized instead of drained is part of the goal I'm training for.  However some days you wake up and feel like your energy is just in the negatives and you have no credit left over to pull from.  Recognizing when it's a "stop I need to rest" vs a "I can push through this".  Since the former if ignored will always lead to crash and burn and the latter if listened to is incredibly helpful for kicking off that bottom and rising high above it all.  On this journey, we're constantly battling all of these demons but we need to recognize when rest and stepping back is required.  This demon will really kill all of your drive and will if you don't recognize that it's present.  

 

There is another side to this demon - that which is parallel to the soul sucking dementors of Harry Potter.  Be kind to yourself and find someone to give you a hug.  Cuddles and comforts are needed when recognizing this demon has just attacked and you're reeling.

 

Tactics:

• Compassion towards oneself and self-awareness of your limitations shields you from this demon
• Battle the demon on friendly turf - give a day of rest if necessary and make room in the weekly schedule to accommodate this need (e.g. two days of rest in a row mean you have some wiggle room with rescheduling a workout day)
• Babysteps, gentle coaxing to get moving
• Break things down into the smallest of victories
• Extreme Solution: Take a vacation - a real vacation - not always possible when children are involved but getting people around you to recognize that today is a day for not doing things and then going forth to not do the things.

Ways to raise energy so that this demon shrinks to nothing:

• Keep up with the NF workouts and schedule 
• Avoid things that lead to burn out or spread those things out so that you don't burn out
• Practice Tai Chi and meditation to actively 'do nothing' to raise energy levels
• Sleep more, stick to bedtimes
• Take breaks from work, home-life, etc
• Have fun with friends
• Do things outside of your schedule

[Lena Llanasolion]

Total weighted stairs so far - 138.

 

Hit a snag when I caught my son's sore throat. Can't say exactly if I caught from him or him from me.  Add to that the sense of dread associated with world politics.  I feel like there is less knowledge about the world than there was before in a way.  Current events is now a summary of what videos are trending on youtube.  Ended up binge watching historical documentaries on the monarchies of England and Russia.  That cut in to my sleep.

 

But there are deeper demons at play here.  The spouse and I are ongoing working on our communication styles.  There's no doubt in this world that he loves me and I love him - but how we express those feelings are so out of sync.  Being working parents of younglings just doesn't contribute for a strong and healthy relationship.  So feeble as it is, we are working on it and devoutly spending a few minutes here and there caring for the other.

 

The lack of sleep is both hitting my ability to train regularly AND my ability to focus while at work.  I have given myself a 'easy' card a few too often now and this morning was debating whether I should be just turning around and going back to bed rather than coming into the office.

 

But this is one of those times where getting up and moving is in fact a good thing.  I gave myself rest the last two days by not committing to anything crazy.  Benefit of eating at a family friend's place is that I haven't had to cook and had plenty of left overs to bring back.  The kids are well even if one wets the bed and the other shrieks high murder in the night.  The spouse has a bad back ache and trying to convince him to attend to his needs is always like leading a horse to water - but can't make him drink.

 

Such is the life of the one who thinks she can do it all.  I opted out of joining a choir at this time - need to get a handle of other arenas of life.  I never used to let that be the rule for my decisions but to commit my time and efforts to something that isn't directly related to family, home, or work.. is just fishing for trouble.  I recognize I can only do so much.

 

Victories for today? - I took the dogs out for 2 walks.  I did 5 flights of stairs (so far, hoping to double that before nightfall).  I will do a workout tonight as well after the boys are abed.  Waking up late means not expecting to get my workout out of the way by the time I hit the office.  Working harder on hitting my bed times and NOT being distracted by social media. 

 

I uninstalled FB from my phone.

[Lena Llanasolion]

Started the Dr Poon Diet

 

...thanks to OHIP & work benefits (for physio and other supportive services).  

 

Started on Wednesday by going for an appointment at a Diet Clinic.  The following readout is what the provided me with.  Add to that a history of high cholesterol and my extremely high stress/anxiety (panic attacks) of the last several months and they encouraged me to start Phase 1 of the diet. 

 

Weight (lbs)	200.6
Body Fat Percentage	44.3
BMI	34.4
BMR (kJ)	6890
Est. RER (Cals)	605

 

What can I eat? Leafy green veggies & protein in the form of meat.  So many restrictions - but the initial phase is just 2 weeks.  I think to myself - I can do this.  Asked them lots of questions and so many restrictions.

 

That was Wednesday. Wednesday evening I had a leafy green and meat dinner.  The next day was hard.

 

Thursday --- couldn't stop thinking about carbs and sugars and all the things I was missing out on.  My mom had company for dinner and made scrumptious and seemingly healthy food.. but I couldn't eat any of it!  But a simple grilled plain salmon doused in lemon juice was delicious.  Other accidental wonders are kale made with maldive fish and topped with half a can of crab I found in the cupboard.  With every food victory I repeated to myself "I can do this!"

 

The evening was harsh with taking my boys to their martial arts class.  By the time I came home I had the case of the shakes.  I ate some pork and buk choi.. and it stabilized me.

 

I slept pretty well - actually fell asleep moments after i hit the pillow.  I had also somehow managed to rack up >10,000 steps without noticing.

Today, woke up well rested if extremely sleepy tired.  I felt like 10 years ago before the kids.. the sense of urgency and panic gone.  Noticeably gone.  Woa. There's something to this!

 

So Day 2 of no carbs, low fat, low sodium diet.. 

 

I didn't need 5 meals to get me through the day and was quite satisfied on 3 though I suspect I'll have a protein shake for snack before I get ready for bed.  The beauty of this meal plan is not counting macros or calories.  By virtue of the restrictions - I will be under these things for the most part in the areas that matter. e.g. zero sugar and <1g carbs/meal.  I could have sugary things with zero sugars.. but I don't like eating chemicals --- but have the smoothy as my helper (yes, chemical sugars.. but if it gets me through then fine).  I have a sweet tooth. Acknowledgement is half the battle.  

 

Tomorrow will be interesting as I have a workout day planned.  After just 24 hours I already had a visitor to the house comment on how I looked as though I had lost weight in my face.  Interesting fact, two weeks earlier on weighing myself I had weighed 206 lbs.  SO - I had in fact lost weight.  But we'll see where this diet takes me.  I have all of medicine backing me on this one with appointment in 2 weeks to check into the clinic to get re-weighted and to figure out if it's all working to raise my metabolism.

 

It was also v. eye opening to discover my RER is way lower than average.  The way I translate that is that - I literally look at a piece of cake and I put on weight.  OR better example is.. I work out, workout workout... and then on my sedentary day I put all the stuff I lost back on just by virtue of a slow metabolism.  So maybe the magic formula is to eat eat eat on days I workout and to just fast on the non workout days.  Thing is - who has that much saintly control? So let's hope for the best that this diet will reduce my baseline sufficiently that I am able to happily maintain my weight from there on in.

 

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NF works. I can see that much. I'm way stronger than when I started and I feel supported by the community and happy for my efforts.  Things are looser and my outlook brighter.  Thank you.

 

[Lena Llanasolion]

I did it! My first workout day post starting the crazy Poondiet and going strong!  I also levelled up with some weights purchased from the local Canadian Tire. Woot! On a roll!

[Lena Llanasolion]

Challenge - How to tell when conscience is unhappy and why.  Talk it out.  Frustration with not finding someone to talk it out with.  Go for a walk.  Many times its the internal ramblings of a very sane woman that cause me to bite my fingers and wish I would reach out for a dozen donuts or a bag of pop corn.  How to step away is what is difficult.  What lies on the moral conscience is very important.  

 

  Demon SOLLICITUS: Worry over the things that can not be controlled.

 

Funny that I have not tackled this demon.  I scrolled up and was looking for any similar reference. Do the demons identified previously translate to what I am trying to express here? No.  This is a nasty demon that swarms you with a continuous litany of all of the things that can possibly go wrong. Every horror movie you have seen.  Every drama you have read.  All the possibilities for doom, gloom, and more doom and gloom.  These are all the problems in the world and what kind of world is available for my children?  How will this thing pan out and what will happen then?

 

This demon, like a tick - will latch on to you and slowly take away all of your thoughts.  Leads to obsessive behavior like finger biting and compulsive eating.  This demon is one of the offspring of Demon VIRES NEGATIVAE.  

 

Tactics:

• Accept that which I can not change
• Self-compassion - take a break, take a breather, look around and understand this is not NOW
• Seek out company and discuss the cause of your worries with an aim to bring yourself above them
• Keep a journal - once these worries are worded out loud it is easy to find the hole in rational thought.  It is easier to distance oneself from the source of panic.
• Avoid social media, FB, and the news if that is the cause  - Hit up these things when properly grounded and centered/shielded.

(Repeated from above for Demon VIRES NEGATIVAE)

• Work on grounding:
  • Picture roots descending into the ground at my feet and ground myself
  • Alternate nostril breathing
• Work on shielding:
  • Being self-aware through meditation to recognize what comes from within vs what comes from without 
  • Accept that which I can not change
  • Absorb the energy rather than reflecting/reacting
  • Practice equanimity

 

[Lena Llanasolion]

Somedays, I'm not hungry at all.. and some days, I'm RAGING hungry 2 hours after I ate last.  Considering I'm getting little to no carbs in my meal - I get that it's probably directly related to how active I am.  Also when hit by shark week.. I suppose there's another influence at play there.  Downed half a can of tuna with chopped green onion and pepper.  Seems to have averted a major crisis.

My stairs have taken the biggest hit with this new diet.  I have to really charge into battle here with regards to putting on the weighted bag and going up and down flights.  I noticed I can't do more than a few at a go.  Its strange.  I tire way quicker now than I did before.  

 

However, I'm still able to do a NF Workout warmup - workout - cool down.. though towards the end I am near the end and down a protein shake.  

My rational brain thinks - it's more effort to burn that fat away now that there's no carbs to use up first.  So all the pain results in gains!  I do feel stronger than I have before and I can see that my upper thighs are more visible than before as my stomach recedes very slowly.  I feel different.  My face is longer.  I see difference.  This diet is definitely a good kick up STAGNANT CHANGEN's ass (read stagnant chicken). Laughs maniacally.

 

No not crazy - just sorely missing a donut.

[Lena Llanasolion]

LOVE THIS ARTICLE : https://stumptuous.com/hormones-homeostasis-and-why-you-probably-need-carbs

 

Posting it here for future reference.  

 

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Balance the seesaw. If you add stress in one place you must take it away elsewhere. If you’re trying to lose fat and/or training hard, you must actively chase recovery and restoration. You must also do de-stressing, parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) dominant activities such as low-intensity rambling (especially outdoors in nature while getting sunshine), yoga, relaxing swims, laughing, cuddling, meditation, etc. (Source)

 

I needed that to read.  It's friggin' shark week. I did 5 flights of stairs and was ready to give up after 2.  I'm SO TIRED.  I think this diet combined with my usually high stressed self is not a good combo.  Well, I am looking slimmer.. but that could be just the leaving behind of the inflammatory wheat or milk or whatever.  The bottom line is I'm TIRED, and little things still stress me the hell out.  

 

My spouse is so supportive, my work is so supportive... but I'll still find some excuse to be crazy.  I am recognizing that I WANT to eat things to curb my mood/stress.  Not being able to means that I'm left unsatisfied in general.  So on the one hand, diet good.. on the other hand from a stress perspective, diet bad.

 

https://gokaleo.com/2013/01/25/adrenal-fatigue-as-a-cover-for-starvation/

 

Another article.  And I look at what I'm eating and wonder if I fall under this.  

 

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I recently saw a picture on facebook of a health personality’s breakfast. It was one egg, a few bites of meat and a small serving of vegetables. The person who posted the picture claimed that this was enough food to get them all the way to lunch, because it was ‘nutrient dense’. This is true, the food on the plate was nutrient dense, but when I calculated the calorie content of the meal it worked out to less than 300 calories. The human body does not run on nutrients, it runs on calories. We need nutrients to support repair, keep us healthy, synthesize hormones, etc, but our bodies expend energy supporting the processes of life (digestion, heart beat, brain activity, etc), and our bodies expend energy through physical activity and exercise. The energy our bodies use is measured in calories, and calories matter. We know they matter when you’re getting too many, but they especially matter when you aren’t getting enough, when your body is using more energy keeping you alive than you’re consuming through food. And one of the things I’m seeing more and more is people literally starving themselves in the pursuit of optimal health, and receiving reinforcement for it from their gurus and friends because they’re eating the ‘right’ foods and not counting calories. (Source)

 

This is something I fear since I don't feel hungry sometimes and so I don't eat. OR I'll go hours without eating or having eaten something like 1 egg... and then go about my day.  I'm currently trusting in Dr. Poon and that the Government of Ontario hasn't sued him yet or found him to be a fraud.  Obviously PLENTY of the people on his diet have come back to say they reached maintenance and have successfully continued on in their now healthy lives.  The bottom line here is that I'm not at a point yet where I have loads of muscles and great endurance.  I'm at a point where I'm carrying extra fat and this is a means to an end.  But at what cost?  It's not irrevocable. But it does feel suspiciously like a scary roller coaster ride that was my friend when I was 16 BUT is now terrifying and I want off.  I'm old, I've lived my life. Let me enjoy my donuts.

 

But then i look at someone's before and after pictures and I tell myself - yeah but this is a means to an end.  A fast forwarding of sorts granted by OHIP and the Government of Ontario so that my cholesterol levels and my weight may not be a burden on the system via my future heart attack, stroke, or descent into diabetes.  Preventative care they call it.  

 

44% fat I tell myself.  44% fat.  This diet gives me a boost in the right direction that was taking me a helluva lot of time to get to considering I didn't go a more middle path route (e.g. NF eating recommendations - Paleo line).  

 

I love my crepes.  I love my cake.  I love me some cookies.  I refuse to eat carbquick or carbolose flour that is made from wheat products but has no representation on the web.  I'm avoiding the splenda and sucralose... fake sugars - how the hell are these supposed to help me?  So restriction upon restriction and stress upon stress as I navigate this labyrinth between what I believe in and what I'm told I should do.

 

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Here’s where I tie in Adrenal Fatigue. A perusal of top google hits for ‘Adrenal Fatigue’ nets a list of common Adrenal Fatigue symptoms: fatigue, insomnia, anxiety and depression, low blood pressure, cravings, sensitivity to cold, brain fog, digestive issues, reproductive hormone imbalances, poor recovery from exercise, etc.(Source)

 

I think that's probably what I was suffering from BEFORE I started this diet.  Then again, I'm drinking shakes, eating as often as I can and until I'm full.  I'm just not satisfied emotionally like I used to be from what I'm eating.

 

 

[Lena Llanasolion]

I DID IT! Stairs: 175 (15 flights today!)

 

I also did a workout.  At the time when I typed the prior post - I just didn't think I could do it!  I had some terrible pains in the left side of my belly button but then after some laughing with my toddler, child's pose, several bottles of water and a protein shake - I finally felt like I had the energy to get up and DO. 

 

Questions that run through my brain - What if I'm not eating enough? I don't feel hungry and then I feel really hungry.  What if I'm not losing any weight? What if this diet fails? I went and measured myself and could see that I'm 7 inches down (mainly from my calves).  But truth of the matter is that even if my belly measurement hasn't changed - I have lost overall.  I can feel my sides coming in.  I dunno how everything distributes.  

 

Believe. Need to Believe. The Truth is out there.

[Lena Llanasolion]

Survived 3 day work trip to Boston.  The diet took a minor hit in that I had to be lax on certain things like salt and fat.  BUT, I was able to 95% adhere to it despite countless temptations.  Oh the fruit... the baked goods... the cookies.. 

 

But then evening drinks with co-workers and I was amazed by the number of people drinking lime and sodas.  I was not alone!  There are quite a few of us on this health kick.  We are all thinking - we're going to be in our 40s soon and it's either now or never to get weight and fitness under control.

 

I hope that this diet will be that means to an end.  I find it difficult to not feel isolated by limitations in eating choices.  That affects my sense of self and calm.  So I'm very mindful of my reactions.  Like a religion, must trust in the system that it will lead me to a higher good.

 

As far as exercise goes, three days of nothing.. four days of nothing. Hope to make up for that in coming days.  Saturday I have my weigh in and check in to find out if any of this has been truly worthwhile.   

[Lena Llanasolion]

Day 16 of the Dr. Poon Phase 1 Diet.  I survived this far!  I suspect I may have lost just under 10lbs in 2 weeks.  But I think as far as rapid weight loss goes, that may be my only win.  From here on out it may be 2 lbs per week.  I'm both interested and excited to go to the clinic tomorrow for the weight in and find out how I'm doing. 

 

This diet has been quite the battle what with full time work, the kids, the activities, the dogs, travel to Boston, and catching a cold at the tail end of it.  The first week saw such mood swings I couldn't believe.  This week has not been so bad but there is this overall feeling of exhaustion.  

 

I went to my acupuncturist today and she said my internal forces are still very low - so whatever I'm doing has yet to fix the root of whatever it is that is draining my energy.  Who knows, the weight loss may be a solution yet.  My lifestyle isn't 100% in line with what it should be.  I thank my husband for that.  It should overall be more relaxed in nature with laughter and fun and time for rest.  But it can be maniacally slave like.  

 

Such is the life when you have young children that you give of yourself for their benefit.  But the relationship I have with him needs a lot of work as well since with every bump in the road we go out of alignment.  For example, since my return from my trip, I have yet to get a hug or a proper kiss.  I feel its all so much business as usual with the kids, the meals, the routine.  My getting a cold doesn't help anything.  Oh well, that is a battle for another day.

 

Energy has been significantly low affecting my ability to complete a workout since I've been back.  I'm thinking to start up fresh again on Monday giving plenty of time for rest this weekend to recover.  Tomorrow we've three events for the day, so there's enough excitement here that I perceive I'll be in recovery mode by the time Sunday rolls around.  

 

I probably need 6 months of my old life back.

[Lena Llanasolion]

  DEMON LABORIBUS: Fatigue

 

On a no sugar diet. No carbs. No vegetables containing carbs.  Lo and behold, a new demon shows his face.  Normally, fatigue is a good thing as a result of a good long workout.  However, the energy of the day to day is difficult to maintain.  I feel tired although I have not done anything.  I feel tired when I'm rising from bed.  I feel tired when I lift my legs in anticipation of a workout.  This demon is shaped like a bear because it basically represents the want to hibernate.  However, it's a lazy fatigue.  On this diet, I can still strive and do the things.  Its a matter of having the intention and following through but being mindful of that fatigue, desire to hibernate.

 

Tactics:

• Get up
• Get moving 
• Rest
• Repeat
• Drink more fluids!
• Eat when hungry!
• Be mindful of wasteful energy.

[Lena Llanasolion]

Mid February Update on measurable Stats

• Number of Stairs as of this evening: 191 flights
• Weight as of this last weekend: 191.4 lbs
• Body Fat as of this last weekend: 44.1 %

Please note: Time left is just a factor of my giving myself 1 year to see progress!

 

 

[Lena Llanasolion]

It's 3:30 PM on a Tuesday afternoon post long weekend and my brain has finally slowed down.  Actually, just took a break for a teaspoon of unsweetened peanut butter and a stick of celery (my current go to snack).  It's been 28 days since I started the Poon Diet and I weighted myself today and found that I have finally broken the 190lb barrier and am 189lbs and some change.  That's incredible!  Incredibly, I woke up full of energy this morning AND I not only walked the dogs for 20 minutes in the morning but also took a 20 minute walk at lunch time.  Energy is finally back!

 

My latest challenge consists of reminding myself to breathe with my diaphragm.  In an attempt to drive it home, I have banned myself from tight clothing until whatsoever time I need to actually go out in public.  This way my belly is free to EXPAND.  

 

I am also continuing to breathe deeply.  Hoping tonight to hit up another 15 flights of stairs (at least) so that I have tomorrow to rest and recover.  It's not technically a workout day but it is a cardio day and that will get my blood pumping.  

 

I have been watching many videos on the Keto diet.  This is similar to the Poon diet in intent except the latter does not have a love for the healthy fats.  I have been cheating on my diet only in the context of allowing a few healthy fats such as butter and peanut butter. But still keeping it carbohydrate and specifically sugar restricted.  I bought some dextrose to use as my artificial sweetener for when I create anything - but so far, have only made some mini cloud bread using silicon cupcake molds.  The cloud bread doesn't taste like anything - very disappointing.  So it's currently just taking up space in my cupboard.  The amount of dextrose added was 1 tablespoon for probably about 4 dozen cloud bread.. so we're talking really low on the carb scale and zero fructose which is what I recognize is the true culprit for sugar based angst.  I found this blog post most helpful: https://exsugarholic.com/2013/06/30/using-dextrose-glucose-in-cooking-and-baking/  But I'm also still waiting for when I'm on Phase 2 to really take advantage.

 

All foods contain chemicals.  Even the veggies I eat contain some level of glucose and fructose e.g. Celery as an example.  The way I see it, the key here is to accompany anything that contains sugar with a good dose of protein or fat.  If I imagine the sugar as a tiny fire and the other the extinguisher of the fire - the other should always be larger than the fire.

 

Eat when hungry.  Good principle to follow as well.  Not counting calories but if you get the right number you do magically stop eating.  I look to my toddler son as an example. No matter what delicious treat we give him, if he's full - he's full.  He is a good eater.

 

Breathing is a challenge. I sometimes have a mini freak out when I realize I'm not breathing.  But hey.. i'm still alive and I can't not breathe!  So trying to be very mindful of my breathing while taking the dogs for walks and when waking, when sleeping, and when sitting.  If I'm mindful, then hopefully it will become easier when I'm doing other things.

[Elastigirl]

Woot for the weight loss!  Sounds like you are establishing some very healthy eating habits.

[Lena Llanasolion]

Thank you @Elastigirl!  Woot, another workout crushed.  

 

I've started belly breathing more often.  Any time I catch my breath.  Been keeping up on the dog walking (back in action post diet!) and as mentioned just crushed another workout.  My right foot started aching so I stopped going up and down the stairs - only made it 12 times.  That's ok.  Don't want to do anything I'll regret and lose my momentum so better to back down from the challenge today.

 

I need to reorganize my office again with the spring.  I've got such big monitors and there's nothing to look at in the winter, but come spring the tree outside starts to flower and I'd rather the view.  Offered to cover the dishes for my husband.  And enjoying some documentaries.  

 

I may be remiss in terms of making sure we have couple time - BUT he's recently started to go for Muy Thai in the evenings and I want to encourage the habit.  His health is also so important to me and I think that my strides have been influencing him to take notice and to take charge.  I'm also the sugar police at home and working on the rest of the family to reduce our consumption.