spooky Posted December 24, 2016 Report Share Posted December 24, 2016 *peeks out from behind a corner* Oh hello there. It's been a while. Things are crazy, but I don't know, driving home tonight in terrible visibility while sheets of rain were pelting my windshield made me think. Maybe it was the hydroplaning. One thing I haven't been completely honest about was a relapse into my eating disorder. I've mentioned it at points as a past thing but it's been very much a present thing as of the past ~4 months. My therapist knows, we're working on it and I'm currently maintaining a weight that is both too low and too high. Brains are dumb. This has been a big reason I've taken a bit of a break from here. It can be hard to fight the urge to lose more weight when, well....it's part of the environment. But successful maintenance is something at least. 2016 has been hard for so many reasons. We finally sold our house (for real). We're moving. School is still up in the air. I think my meds may be less effective than they need to be. I had an ED relapse. Trump got elected (god I'm still ignoring this). This is sort of a very very informal challenge. More of a desire to communicate, to catalogue, to work through. To set myself up for a better 2017. 2016 set a pretty low bar that won't be hard to clear. I made a huge roadmap for last year. In some ways it was a good idea, and in others it wasn't. So I'm doing something a bit different. Here are three things I'd like to work on. They're mostly abstract, though I am aware of how I can quantify them, it's just that they're mental rather than physical. 1. Bridging the gap between the Intellectual and Emotional: I can be so aware that something is true/untrue and yet feel completely the opposite. I want to listen to my intellect while respecting my emotions. It's okay to feel whatever it is I'm feeling, but it's important to understand the inherent subjectivity of that feeling as well. 2. Practice: I want to see things as a continuum, a series of interconnected skills, that all actions are just practice, without pressure. I'd also like to make this goal more clear lol. 3. Make Mistakes: mistakes are the goal. I WANT to want to make mistakes. I want to normalize them, reframe them as a positive, enjoy the error part of trial and error. I feel like this would help a lot with self image, anxiety, and depression. So that's it. I guess this is sort of a trial run before the new year. 10 Quote level 21 magic cat druid, doodlie for life sucking at something is the first step to being sort of good at something past challenges: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 Current (old) Battle Log, Battle Log Link to comment
Shello Posted December 24, 2016 Report Share Posted December 24, 2016 Hi Spooky. Welcome back. 2016 was a bit of a bitch. I'm glad to see you back around here with a plan to keep moving in a healthier direction. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 1 Quote Race: Amazonian Ogre Princess | Class: Ranger | Profession: SuperHero | Affiliation: Doodlie and Pancake for Life Respawn Challenge Arcs: 2021 | 2022 I am not saying I am Wonder Woman. I am just saying no one has ever seen me and Wonder Woman together in the same room. Original Spawn Challenges 2014 - 2020: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 , 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, ?? Roadmaps: 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 Starting weight = 290.4 (2014); Current weight = 241.2; Total pounds lost: 49.2 Link to comment
Emma Posted December 24, 2016 Report Share Posted December 24, 2016 Glad you're back. Sorry to hear you've been having troubles. Next year will be better, yes? Yes. 1 Quote Link to comment
Emma Posted December 24, 2016 Report Share Posted December 24, 2016 double post 1 Quote Link to comment
DrFeelgood Posted December 24, 2016 Report Share Posted December 24, 2016 2 Quote He has showed you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God? Link to comment
spooky Posted December 27, 2016 Author Report Share Posted December 27, 2016 thanks guys <3 I've been a bit better mentally the past two days. We've looked at a bunch of houses to rent, and one has approved us so at least we have a place to live. It's not our first choice, but it's nice, in a good area, and quiet. So it will work. I've got an appointment with a therapist to set up my psychiatrist meeting today, so I'm hoping for a meds adjustment soon. I would like to to start exercising again, I've been really lax on it, i think out of worry about over doing it again. I had a hip issue for a couple of weeks, not sure what was going on there, but it's still intermittent. We'll see how things go from here I guess, I've got work this evening since I switched my saturday shift this week for my grandma's birthday. I might be able to do a longer more reflective post then, that's the goal. Take care <3 5 Quote level 21 magic cat druid, doodlie for life sucking at something is the first step to being sort of good at something past challenges: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 Current (old) Battle Log, Battle Log Link to comment
Terah Posted December 27, 2016 Report Share Posted December 27, 2016 I'm glad you're back! <3 1 Quote Doodlie for life, Pancake by choice Current Challenge Spoiler Challenge 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 Challenges 2017: 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28 Challenges 2018: 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, Challenges 2019: 36, 37, 38, 39, 40 Challenges 2020: 41, 42, 43, 44, 45 Challenges 2023: 46, 47 Link to comment
deftona Posted December 28, 2016 Report Share Posted December 28, 2016 It's good to see you again, Spooks - it feels like ages, I'd love a catch up x 1 Quote If it's not siesta or fiesta, I'm not interested. Profile picture credit : NF's resident super artist - NinjaKitten Link to comment
maegs Posted December 28, 2016 Report Share Posted December 28, 2016 Glad to have you back 1 Quote Current Challenge Goodreads|Instagram|Ravelry Link to comment
Heidi Posted December 28, 2016 Report Share Posted December 28, 2016 Glad to see you back, Spooks! I am so proud of you for sharing where you are right now -- that can be so hard to do, to bring our problem spots into the light of day. Good job. I will be lurking around, holding your hand, reminding you that more is not better unless you're a cancer. Let's set our sights on making mistakes and breathing for 2017. Much love, Heidi 1 Quote ♥ & ☮, Heidi Spoiler Gypsy Druid Ranger: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 :: Druid: 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 |:: 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |:: 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |:: 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 |:: 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 |:: 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53| 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 |:: 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | :: 70 | Paladin: 71 | 72 | 73 | 74 | 75 | 76 | :: 77 | 78 | 79 | 80 | 81 | Shaman: 82 | 83 | 84 Philosopher-Librarian 85 |:: 86 | 87 | Heidi Chronicles NF Character Sheet | @theheidifeed| MySlashdotKarmaIsExcellent Walk to Mordor - (spreadsheet) Let's catch up: https://calendly.com/loveandpeace Link to comment
NeverThatBored Posted January 3, 2017 Report Share Posted January 3, 2017 I'm so happy you're back! <3 1 Quote Gargoyle Ranger | Level 49 2022 challenges: 49 (current) 2015-2021 challenges: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 || 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 || 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 || 43 | 44 | 45 | | 46 | 47 | 48 || My epic quest | MEATBALL WARS You don't get better at anything unless you start doing it. Being alive is heckn swell. Link to comment
Heidi Posted January 3, 2017 Report Share Posted January 3, 2017 Are you signing up for January? May I recommend the back-to-basics goodness that is three small, fitness-habit-style goals and one life goal? Looking forward to cheering you on. 2 Quote ♥ & ☮, Heidi Spoiler Gypsy Druid Ranger: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 :: Druid: 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 |:: 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |:: 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |:: 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 |:: 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 |:: 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53| 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 |:: 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | :: 70 | Paladin: 71 | 72 | 73 | 74 | 75 | 76 | :: 77 | 78 | 79 | 80 | 81 | Shaman: 82 | 83 | 84 Philosopher-Librarian 85 |:: 86 | 87 | Heidi Chronicles NF Character Sheet | @theheidifeed| MySlashdotKarmaIsExcellent Walk to Mordor - (spreadsheet) Let's catch up: https://calendly.com/loveandpeace Link to comment
spooky Posted January 5, 2017 Author Report Share Posted January 5, 2017 Gotta get my January challenge up! Lots to update you guys on! 7 Quote level 21 magic cat druid, doodlie for life sucking at something is the first step to being sort of good at something past challenges: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 Current (old) Battle Log, Battle Log Link to comment
spooky Posted January 6, 2017 Author Report Share Posted January 6, 2017 New challenge is here Quote level 21 magic cat druid, doodlie for life sucking at something is the first step to being sort of good at something past challenges: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 Current (old) Battle Log, Battle Log Link to comment
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