Jump to content

Dagger Shifts Priority Temporarily


Dagger

Recommended Posts

13 hours ago, NeverThatBored said:

You did such a great job this challenge! I can't wait to follow the next one. :)  

Thank you.

raw

  • Like 1

Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

Link to post
14 hours ago, Severine said:

When raised by workaholics who put their own needs last, it's easy for a child to grow up always being too hard on themselves: they might think they are never working hard enough, never succeeding enough. And so sometimes they end up workaholics too, and sometimes they end up paralyzed procrastinators, unable to focus on work for fear of falling short of perfection. In my case, I have a mix of both.

I've definitely never felt like I've done enough despite getting straight As in most classes (this partly because I had to do almost no work to get those As; and that is not my upbringing speaking, I literally ignored most homework and never studied for tests except for maybe 30-60 minutes).

 

And I definitely fell into the paralyzed procrastinator group. Except for spurts, I've never fallen into workaholic mode. And considering my spurts were usually the two days before deadline, that was due to my procrastination.

 

However, I'm not sure if it was perfection stopping me as much as knowing that whatever amount of work I did, I'd never feel like it was enough. And another reason was that I had such an easy time in school, why put in effort beyond what I needed for an A and I didn't have to put in effort for an A. It wasn't like I could get anything better. (At the time, I was not inspired by the learning itself.)

 

14 hours ago, Severine said:

I do think you have a strong work ethic, because you have very high standards: take the example of not wanting to half-ass your assignment, or turn in stories you felt were below your abilities. A work ethic encompasses not just quantity of time spent, but quality of output. Perfectionism and workaholism are often intertwined that way - think of the obsessive sculptor spending hours on getting one finger of a statue just right. That sculptor would probably prefer to make nothing than to make a statue they were not proud of, so if they felt like they did not have the right materials, or the right tools, or the energy or the focus to make the statue the way they want, they might not begin at all. 

 

And I think in your case, you felt for parts of this month that you didn't have the right materials or tools, or that your focus was not strong enough to do the work you would feel proud to turn in. And there's no simple "good or bad" about that. Obviously it's good to want to create quality work. And good to accurately assess one's limits and needs. But we don't want to sabotage our productivity with perfectionism, either. And only you can judge whether you made an accurate call or not, but I have a feeling that you know yourself well and probably made a true assessment of the situation.

You make it sound like I was really conscious of why I choose not to finish those stories. That was me listening to my subconscious that is so much smarter than me because it remembers everything while my poor conscious mind can only keep so much present at once. (Which explains why I forgot my option of just breathing when I felt bad. My conscious brain didn't remember it.)

 

However, I do like your expanded definition of work ethic. That is it both quality and quantity of work, that those are intimately intertwined.

 

I've definitely had to beat perfectionism out at times, but it isn't one of my biggest vices. If I start something, I generally finish it. Perfectionism have a tendency to stop people from finishing rather than from starting. My biggest problem is starting and that is usually hindered by fear (from what I've been told).

 

I really do need to study my own tendencies and why it is easy to start some things but not others.

 

I think I did the right calls with the stories. Mainly because I wouldn't have been happy with my submissions if I did push through and wrote sloppy. Because that is the thing, I would have had to write sloppy to finish it. That would have most likely lead to rejections and I would have needed to redraft parts or all of the story. And redrafting is starting over, and my biggest problem is starting.

 

So by not forcing myself into that boat, I have started the stories and can get back to them with a clear conscious and focus without having to start over.

 

Geez, this is why I listen to my subconscious mind, because it saw that chain happening. And now that your writing made me really examine the situations, my conscious mind saw the bullet I dodged.

 

This is why I love self-reflection, and why I love listening to my subconscious/gut/instincts/whatever-you-call-it. I am smarter when I do even if I can't always articulate why doing things a certain way is better.

 

raw

(I'll be running out of good mind blown gifs at this rate.)

 

14 hours ago, Severine said:

The sucky thing is that sometimes the situation we're in is not the situation we want. Like it's one thing to accurately assess "I am too tired to do this work properly. It will have to go unfinished" but the hard thing is actually accepting and coming to peace with the truth and consequences of that reality when most people would prefer it hadn't happened at all. In moments like that it's important to recognize that sometimes things happen that are out of our control. Sometimes we get sick, or have upheaval in our lives. And we can try to make the best of our situations but we are still human and we will always face the hard limits of time, ability, etc. All we can do in those moments is try our best, and be honest about what we can and cannot do, and do our best to live at peace with the outcome.

This was the hardest part of the last couple of weeks. And it took a little time to be ok with that. Just as it has taken time to be ok with actually not hitting the reading goal each day because I'd rather feel happy and fulfilled and relaxed than hit an arbitrary goal (in the scheme of my whole life, getting the reading done or not is not exactly an important task).

 

I proved to myself that I've started to come to terms with the reading by writing my plan above, because I don't write something I am not willing to follow (unless I'm speculating, but I wasn't).

 

14 hours ago, Severine said:

I think you did really well this challenge, because you paid attention to the things that went awry (and there were not that many!) and you learned from them and used them to build better self-understanding. And yes, you ended up feeling overwhelmed at the end, a little, but you also monitored and managed it better than ever before (minimizing it, as you said) and you tested out various strategies for coping with it, which is data that will help you devise more precise coping strategies in future. You recovered from it better and more quickly than previous times because you were expecting it and had a plan to deal with it. Did the plan work? Not flawlessly. But it's just Plan v1.0 or perhaps 1.3 or something. Think of how much better Plan v2.3 or v5.6 will be :)

Haha, guess what my mind was doing while I read this? Deny, deflect, minimize my achievements, etc. I was watching it (well on the re-read I was watching my reaction), and especially considering I recently reminded you not to minimize your own achievements, I will not either.

 

You are right. I've learned so much this challenge. I have data and updated strategies. Even if I don't have a new plan, I know things that haven't worked so I can try new things. I have noticed and kept an eye on things without stepping completely out of the moment.

 

And still my mind want to deny, deny, deny. Isn't interesting how easily we put ourselves down even when we are noticing that it is happening? It is so much easier to acknowledge other people's achievements.

 

You said above that I have a good work ethic and I could only accept it when you expanded my definition of work ethic.

 

What you said about how our parents and such affect us with what they do whether they meant to or not, is so true. I hadn't really put it together that the reason I feel like I'm not doing enough comes back to watching my dad work himself to death (well, not really, he has now gone down in hours and he does different things to help with his back and stuff; he's actually taking care of himself and being serious about it. But then my dad is always serious if he decides to do something, he doesn't half-ass things). Oh... he doesn't half-ass things. (Unlike my oldest brother, who definitely does that at times. Haha, I got to swipe at him... yeah, we don't have the best relationship... ... anyway... (btw, I didn't really feel joy in the swiping. But I am serious about what I said. He does half-ass or three-quarter-ass things.))

 

I know intellectually that it isn't healthy to work like my dad did. Not only did was he tired a lot of the time, but his problems with his back and such got worse. I'd actually also say that some of his aches and such appeared because he overworked and didn't take the time he needed to recover. For example, I think he's only had wrist troubles in the last ten years. Some of that will be aging. But I know he actually hurt his knee the first time or had it go worse, when traveling for his job; and it never got back to the previous level after that hurt because he never did slow down to let it heal.

 

And despite seeing the bad effects of workaholism, a part of my still thinks I don't do enough. Even when I work at the top of my capacity.

 

Well, I'll say that this last challenge was different. I felt like I did everything I could and especially Zero Week through Week 2 I really enjoyed myself. When stuff started breaking down due to illness and stuff, I didn't enjoy missing things, but I also didn't really place guilt on myself for my misses. I was aware of how the dominos fell to make me miss and some of it was out of my control (illness) and the other reason was because I did what is true to myself (prioritizing friends over arbitrary goals, aka visiting my friend).

 

I knew when I said I'll go visit that it might mean missing some stuff that week, I also planned for it by reducing the amount of stuff I had that week. Of course, then the uncontrollable factor came in and ruined my plan. My plan didn't have room for that large an unpredictable factor.

 

(Btw, the reason I am pretty fluid in my plans is because I want to allow for the unpredictable factor that will come into play, maybe not every week, but often enough. So I allow for that and that is why I am ok with changing my plans most of the time. Because I can not control everything and I don't usually beat myself up about the things I can't control.)

 

I guess I felt some culpability that week though because I hadn't made enough room for the unpredictable factor, because basically I didn't have room in my plan unless I had a whole week or close enough for my "must" objectives.

 

Huh, but I also did pay more for my travel so it wouldn't eat as much time. So I guess I still did my best to accommodate the unpredictable factor.

 

Huh... Not mind blown material. But definitely good self-reflection.

 

This is another reason I do it, because it is so easy to be subjective in our heads and to discount thoughts we had days earlier or things we did to mitigate but if they weren't enough they aren't worth considering—except they are. But it is easy to forget them.

 

I did everything in my power that week to make sure I'd have enough time for my workshop objectives. When I got sick, my time stopped being my own and I couldn't meet the objectives. But that was out of my control, so even the smidgen of guilt I've been trying to ignore was seriously missed placed.

 

Huh...

 

I talk a good game to myself, for both good and ill. Right now for good, self-reflection is good. I should have admitted I felt that smidgen of guilt earlier and maybe I would have taken the time to really examine if it was realistic or not. Guilt isn't a bad thing, except when you let it cloud your judgement, sometimes feeling guilt just needs to be acknowledged and let go. Just like anger.

 

Now, that is almost mind blown territory, but I'm not losing another gif to it. :P

 

So, where the hell was I?

 

...

 

Right, I have better coping plan now. Version 1.2 or something. I don't actually document my changes (maybe that would help?), but they are much better than they were at the start of the challenge. No more mind-talking myself out of that. I think it overwhelmed the critical voice with the above reflection.

 

14 hours ago, Severine said:

I've never seen these movies but they've well-loved by a few of my friends from law school. I am a little too cynical to believe that the "trust in people" approach will always work, but it definitely works a lot of the time. As I think @Owlet said in another post, sometimes the best way to get a person to act with kindness and honour is to make it clear that you see those qualities in them and you think of them as that kind of person.

Unless you never like romantic comedies, I think you might like to watch at least the first movie and see it in action. The main character doesn't blindly act if you can always trust in people, but she definitely has it as a core value without letting herself be a push over. I would have said the exact thing as you, but I think this movie(s) showed me a way to let "trust in people" be a core value without being naive. But that is just my take away and I still feel a strong need to rewatch that movie. I've never felt like that before.

 

14 hours ago, Severine said:

As for the "let your voice be heard" thing, this is something I think a lot of us are working on. I know I am. Vulnerability is a hard thing. But it has a big payoff when it works.

Vulnerability—a strength that is so scary to embrace. The thing is that every time I've been vulnerable, it has proven to be a good thing. I'm not saying it has always gone well, but I've never regretted it, because for myself it was always good. I don't know if that makes sense. Basically, I've never felt guilty or ashamed for being vulnerable. I have sometimes regretted what people have received my vulnerability because they acted like asses, but I've never regretted the act in itself.

 

However, it is so hard to "expose" myself like that. And I put expose within air quotes, because my using that word shows why it is so hard. I see it as exposing myself instead of say shining a light on myself or opening up or just being me, completely and whole-heartedly me. The words we use, especially instinctively, says a lot about how we feel about things. This is why words are so important. I can start changing the narrative around being vulnerable if I notice what narrative I currently use.

 

My narrative of feeling exposed by being vulnerable is not the narrative I want. I reject that story and I will endeavor to build a new story in itself place. I currently don't know exactly what that narrative will look like, but I will spend some time on that.

 

14 hours ago, Severine said:

It's so easy to get sucked into this mentality of "just get it done no matter what." I can't lie - there is a huge part of me that feels that way. I am famous for it among my friends and family. L calls it "whatever it takes mode" and when I get into it, especially at the farm, they would start to worry for my safety because I would push myself past all reasonable limits just to get my work done. And I have to be honest and say part of me is proud of it. But another part sees it as a danger and a flaw. I'm really torn about it.

This was one of the first times (if not the first) that I have felt like this though. I've never really been in "whatever it takes mode" because as I said above, I've seen how bad that has turned out for my dad.

 

And one thing I kinda promised myself is that I wouldn't let myself fall into that. I wouldn't become a slave to just getting it done. Of course, falling into it once does not make a habit. But as I mentioned, I thought I was immune to it because I had so clearly promised myself to never do that.

 

This actually leads me to another thing that has been bugging me that I talked about some in posts above. I've forgotten how to have a complete rest day. To just relax and do whatever with NO THOUGHT to what my to do list holds, or at least no attachment to it, or feeling a need to at least do a small thing on the list. I've seen with so many people close to me how the inability to relax (and do it guilt free) slowly crushes them under the demands of work/life/family/obligations/imagined-obligations/society.

 

I've seen someone unable to rest while having a cold turn it into pneumonia. I've seen the deterioration of my dad's health by not resting enough. I've seen it in my little brother. And in probably other people I can't remember right now.

 

The thing is that I don't want to let myself fall into that trap. I guess I need to start scheduling rest days. Have planned days that no matter how I feel, even if I feel ready to take on the world, I will rest on that day. I need to regularly refill my well, and every now and then it means taking a guilt-free day off, but not because I feel the mental/emotional need for it, I shouldn't wait until that happens.

 

Which is the reason for how I'm spending Zero Week of this next challenge and the spa visit. Spa... *happy sigh*

 

14 hours ago, Severine said:

And I think I'm torn because it's a thing that is neither fully good nor bad. Sometimes I think it's necessary attitude, and commendable: for example when the health or safety of a person is at risk, or when something is extremely important. But I also think it's easy to over-apply, and extend it to stuff that doesn't really deserve self-sacrifice. And so I think we all need to help remind each other to set our priorities right. Only sacrifice oneself for good causes, when there's no other way. If there's a sick kid, sure. But not just to finish a story by a deadline.

I'd actually narrow your definition of when self-sacrifice is important to an even smaller range. Sacrificing your health, both mental and physical, is only appropriate in life or death situations. Because self-sacrifice is leaning so far into getting it done that you might completely lose yourself, you might completely break and be left a shell of yourself (this doesn't have to be a permanent condition, but it takes years to recover from it).

 

But there are degrees of getting stuff done. Like when a family member is sick, it is right to lean in somewhat and do a little more for them than would normally be comfortable for you, but they wouldn't thank you for leaning in so hard you broke. They wouldn't want you to sacrifice your own happiness. If it is leaning towards that, you need to get help whether that is asking for support from more family/friends or paying someone for the help (or exchanging favors or whatever if money is an issue).

 

You can't help someone else or a cause you believe in if you are broken.

 

It is not worth sacrificing yourself for someone or something if it means breaking yourself, unless someone might die if you don't.

 

That is how I see it.

 

In our society self-sacrifice is seen as noble, but beyond being seen as noble, it is also seen as this thing you are supposed to do, especially women (although that attitude is slowly changing).

 

I think society is wrong. Because without yourself, there is nothing to give. And if society is looking for you to keep giving to it, then you need to take the time and space needed to care for yourself. A broken person can not give because they have nothing to give. To be crass, they are a drain on society. They are one of those things others have to give to fix. Btw, I'm not hating on broken people—I've been broken myself—but from society's stand point they are a drain and not a help.

 

But still society so often demands us to give so much of ourselves that we break, and then other people have to take up the slack and they work until they break and the cycle continues.

 

It isn't selfish to put yourself first and to truly believe that you need to take care of yourself. It is an act of kindness to yourself and society. Heck, it is an act of bravery/courage/vulnerability to admit that you have to put yourself first because you can't help anyone if you aren't unbroken (although whole is preferred).

 

This is my view. This is what I have figured out from what I have seen and heard. I act from this belief I do my best to act from this belief.

 

14 hours ago, Severine said:

This is a cool idea and it sounds really valuable, like a way to make sure you're tending to all areas of your life/needs.

I definitely think figuring out what each foundation needs is the first step and then I will slowly implement them. Bit by bit I will build foundations that I can stand on. Not all areas will need a lot of tending after I have the foundation, perhaps because I am focusing on other things or perhaps because they aren't that important to me. After all, eight things are a lot to focus on. But I need a good foundation in each before I can truly move forward to the next stage... That doesn't sound quite right when I try to put it into words.

 

I have this sense that if I built a good foundation in each area, I can then maintain that level much easier. I need to build better systems and just get some projects done. I also need to learn certain things and get myself on the path of learning, but the learning might only need to happen once per quarter or so, so once I set up the foundation the hardest work will be done and after that I can coast until I decide to focus and grow the foundation into a house or whatever.

 

I hope that makes sense. I haven't tried to put the thought into words before now.

 

14 hours ago, Severine said:

This is a weird way of saying it, but it sounds like you're increasing your mental and emotional efficiency. I don't mean to describe you like a robot, but that's what came to mind first. You're accomplishing more at less cost. And that's very encouraging.

Haha, I get what you mean. And yes, improving efficiency is the correct English words to describe that even if it is most often used for machinery!

 

14 hours ago, Severine said:

Just wanted to say HELL YEAH to this. You got a huge task done this challenge, and a daunting one at that. I feel like this deserves a lot of celebration.

raw

 

14 hours ago, Severine said:

This is a sign that your strategies are working, and you're on the right track. Yes, the road is bumpy, but remember that if you feel the bumps in the road it means you're making progress along the road!! You don't feel any bumps while standing still :D

 

Keep going, keep refining your strategy. The more you learn, the more you experiment, the better you'll get at tailoring a plan that is right for you.

 

Really proud of you and so happy to have been along for this ride.

giphy.gif

rawtenor.gif

rawraw

 

PS. And you guys thought I was done reflecting in this challenge. :P 

  • Like 2

Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

Link to post
13 hours ago, Owlet said:

I can't keep up with all the awesome posts on this thread haha! But I will post when I get a chance

Hehe.

 

raw

  • Like 2

Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

Link to post
12 hours ago, Owlet said:

I like that you called it a faith (maybe because NZ culture is so anti-religion, it still has weird connotations for me) but I had the same experience when I started looking in Nichiren Buddhism - a lot of it just seems to be common sense. It is so rooted in daily life, and it really is a philosophy more than a religion as we tend to think of them. I like it because it is so humanistic - there is no deity, it is focused on what helps relieve the suffering of people. And not just a select few, but everybody, in any given moment of their life (unlike many religions that propose peace and joy can only be reached after death) As far as the organisation thing goes, I was reluctant too. It was very unfamiliar to me. But to be honest my experience of it has not been dissimilar to hanging out here on the forums - it is a group of people who are all striving to better themselves and thus better their immediate surroundings and the people around them, supporting and learning from each other all the while. 

 

Sorry to steal your thread @Dagger!

Don't worry. I'm enjoying the discussion, plus I don't mind learning about faiths I might want to look into further down the road.

 

Nichiren Buddhism sounds like something I'd like to learn more about. If you have any good resources for that, please share. :)

 

12 hours ago, Owlet said:

Now where were we... it sounds like you are doing a bit better today, yes? You had some good realisations about your own work ethic and tendencies, even if you were a little harsh on yourself. (I think you said something along the lines of "I have failed"?) It is so easy sometimes to lose sight of the aim of the game while you are chasing the individual goals. I've been there and it sucks. But you caught yourself pretty early on so I have faith that you can rectify the situation now. You may not be as well-prepared as you would like going into the workshop but that is better than not at all and better than having a total break down. Sometimes we just have to compromise. 

Yes, I did say I have failed, but that is the truth. It is the truth because I set my goal for the challenge not as "dealing with my overwhelm as well as possible" but as "I will avoid overwhelm".

 

It was like on @Severine's challenge, how someone commented that it felt like she was confusing doing the thing with the results she had (btw, I'm not saying that happened, just that that idea sparked my own thinking about my challenge). In this case she had stated her goal correctly. She didn't say that she'd be stress free by doing X, Y, Z. She said she'd do X, W, Z because she wanted to reduce her stress.

 

My goal was stated as I will not feel overwhelm and I will do X, Y, Z to stop it. The only way to succeed at that is to actually avoid overwhelm. I did everything in my power to avoid it, but I didn't. And so I need to remember to state my goals as what I will do, not the result I hope for.

 

I kinda did say "I failed" tongue in cheek. I also mentioned that I failed to success, meaning I did everything in my power to stop overwhelm, but I'm not in control of how I feel and I don't want to be. I do however want to take care of myself to minimize how much overwhelm I do feel or rather so I can handle it well.

 

:)

 

And yes, I was doing better yesterday, and I am doing even better today.

 

12 hours ago, Owlet said:

All in all, a great challenge. A lot happened and changed, well done.

Thank you. :)

  • Like 2

Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

Link to post
9 hours ago, Dagger said:

Don't worry. I'm enjoying the discussion, plus I don't mind learning about faiths I might want to look into further down the road.

 

Nichiren Buddhism sounds like something I'd like to learn more about. If you have any good resources for that, please share. :)

Let me see... William Woollard has written some great books, you'd do well to read any of his. I started with The Reluctant Buddhist and really enjoyed. It is basically the story of how he (a typical and indeed sceptical, modern man) came to Nichiren Buddhism and it also covers a lot of the basic principals. Humorous and easy to access without dumbing down some fairly complex ideas.Humourous

  • Like 2
Link to post
3 minutes ago, Owlet said:

Let me see... William Woollard has written some great books, you'd do well to read any of his. I started with The Reluctant Buddhist and really enjoyed. It is basically the story of how he (a typical and indeed sceptical, modern man) came to Nichiren Buddhism and it also covers a lot of the basic principals. Humorous and easy to access without dumbing down some fairly complex ideas.Humourous

Thanks for the recommendation! I've added it to my Amazon list. I think maybe I should make a goal/objective to start buying from the list too, I have probably 250+ books on it. Lol, really I put it on the list because I'm reading other non-fiction at the moment and I try not to buy and horde ebooks anymore. I buy when I will start reading. :)

  • Like 2

Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

Link to post
11 hours ago, Dagger said:

The thing is that I don't want to let myself fall into that trap. I guess I need to start scheduling rest days. Have planned days that no matter how I feel, even if I feel ready to take on the world, I will rest on that day. 

 

It might seem counter-intuitive, but part of the reason my new challenge involves adopting a scheduling tactic is that I find I have a really hard time giving myself mental permission to fully relax when I have obligations hanging over me. And so as a result, my rest time is less restful because I feel guilty, because maybe I should be working...or I think about all the things I should be doing. And part of the idea behind assigning a set time to work and a set time to relax is that when it's time to relax, then I (hopefully) will be able to relax guilt-free. Because it's what I'm supposed to be doing. And I have it scheduled so that the relaxation in a day always comes after the work, because I know from experience I am much more able to relax if I feel I have earned it by accomplishing something.

 

Anyway, all that is to say I think scheduling rest days makes sense. A day where your goal is to relax. Refilling your well and resting your body is as important as any other goal, so why not dedicate time to it?

 

11 hours ago, Dagger said:

 

It is not worth sacrificing yourself for someone or something if it means breaking yourself, unless someone might die if you don't.

 

My great-grandmother used to say, "Don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm." That made a huge impression on me...as a child with a very active imagination. Yikes.

 

Of course, she didn't follow her own advice :D  Figuratively, I mean. Of course. She was always taking care of everyone else, and hated it when anyone "fussed" over her or tried to get her to rest.

 

11 hours ago, Dagger said:

I definitely think figuring out what each foundation needs is the first step and then I will slowly implement them. Bit by bit I will build foundations that I can stand on. Not all areas will need a lot of tending after I have the foundation, perhaps because I am focusing on other things or perhaps because they aren't that important to me. After all, eight things are a lot to focus on. But I need a good foundation in each before I can truly move forward to the next stage... That doesn't sound quite right when I try to put it into words.

 

I don't know, but it makes sense to me. It sounds like a really solid approach: balanced, deliberate, and methodical, but also allowing room for growth and change and inspiration.

 

Oh and that was a really good gif cleanse at the end of your long post :D

 

  • Like 1

Fitbit  |  Current Challenge  |  Old Challenges:  1 ~ 2 ~ 3 ~ 4 ~ 5 ~ 6 ~ 7 ~ 8 ~ 9 ~ 10 ~ 11 ~ 12 ~ 13 ~ 14 ~ 15 ~ 16 ~ 17

Forum avatar is original art by the talented Veronica Guzzardi. Used with permission!
Link to post
12 hours ago, Severine said:

It might seem counter-intuitive, but part of the reason my new challenge involves adopting a scheduling tactic is that I find I have a really hard time giving myself mental permission to fully relax when I have obligations hanging over me. And so as a result, my rest time is less restful because I feel guilty, because maybe I should be working...or I think about all the things I should be doing. And part of the idea behind assigning a set time to work and a set time to relax is that when it's time to relax, then I (hopefully) will be able to relax guilt-free. Because it's what I'm supposed to be doing. And I have it scheduled so that the relaxation in a day always comes after the work, because I know from experience I am much more able to relax if I feel I have earned it by accomplishing something.

 

Anyway, all that is to say I think scheduling rest days makes sense. A day where your goal is to relax. Refilling your well and resting your body is as important as any other goal, so why not dedicate time to it?

Until the last year or so, I always considered my evenings sacred. They were for free time.

 

But when I continued to procrastinate my days away, then I had to do the stuff in the evening because that was the only time I left for it, and eventually I stopped feeling blasphemous for working in the evening.

 

I'm working towards eventually reclaiming my evenings for free time, but as you said that means putting in structures and doing what I need to earlier in the day. I'll get there eventually, but I definitely need to dedicate specific time to free time. Maybe I'll force the free time and that could get me less procrastinating? Naaah, might try that if I get desperate, but right now my system of slowly moving things into the right times is working.

 

And yes. I think we do need to dedicate time to rest/relaxation. :)

 

12 hours ago, Severine said:

My great-grandmother used to say, "Don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm." That made a huge impression on me...as a child with a very active imagination. Yikes.

 

Of course, she didn't follow her own advice :D  Figuratively, I mean. Of course. She was always taking care of everyone else, and hated it when anyone "fussed" over her or tried to get her to rest.

Always hard to follow your own advice!

 

But she is right and that was basically what I was saying. :D

 

12 hours ago, Severine said:

I don't know, but it makes sense to me. It sounds like a really solid approach: balanced, deliberate, and methodical, but also allowing room for growth and change and inspiration.

The application will be very messy though, but that is life. :D

 

12 hours ago, Severine said:

Oh and that was a really good gif cleanse at the end of your long post :D

raw

  • Like 2

Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

Link to post
On 2/7/2017 at 5:47 AM, Dagger said:

 

Well, I'll say that this last challenge was different. I felt like I did everything I could and especially Zero Week through Week 2 I really enjoyed myself. When stuff started breaking down due to illness and stuff, I didn't enjoy missing things, but I also didn't really place guilt on myself for my misses. I was aware of how the dominos fell to make me miss and some of it was out of my control (illness) and the other reason was because I did what is true to myself (prioritizing friends over arbitrary goals, aka visiting my friend).


I am so bad at staying caught up, but I wanted to highlight this in particular. This is so important. Even if you didn't like something, not making yourself feel guilty over it is a huge accomplishment! :D

  • Like 1

Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try. - Gail Devers

Current challenge: New Game

Previous challenges: 2017 Challenges: Strategy 2Strategy 1 | 1-3 1-2 | 1-1 | Reset
2016 Challenges: 432 | 1 | .5

Link to post
6 hours ago, deathbyshiny said:


I am so bad at staying caught up, but I wanted to highlight this in particular. This is so important. Even if you didn't like something, not making yourself feel guilty over it is a huge accomplishment! :D

Thanks! It is a work in progress, but I've gotten tons better at it. :)

  • Like 1

Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

New here? Please check out our Privacy Policy and Community Guidelines