Scottydog > Cookies

[Scottydog]

Hey Everyone, I'm Scottydog and I'm here to beat a sugar addiction. 

 

In August 2015 I started following the Primal diet in an attempt to conquer eczema and boost my general fitness. It didn't seem to help my eczema and I never managed to motivate myself to get fit and the NF approach seems like a nice fit for me. I've never been interested in lifting weights, but I'm starting to get convinced of how important it is.

 

Here's my big "why":

I'm sick of feeling weak and tired and fat. I want to have a physical presence and look awesome naked. I want to treat my depression with diet and exercise - instead of pills - and fully engage in making life fun and exciting with my wife and kids.

[Scottydog]

Some background on my depression:

 

I've been a work-at-home dad since Jan 2014, when I left a part-time gig teaching college physics to allow my wife to dive into her biomedical engineering career. She had just finished her 3rd maternity leave while allowing me to experiment with my career; before teaching I worked in space robotics engineering for over 7 years, but I felt a calling to teach. My low seniority meant that I had to teach evening courses, though, and I hated that. Plus I felt emotionally disconnected from my wife and kids and wasn't ready to try another full time job.

 

In late 2014 I was bored and started a part-time business tutoring college physics students. That kept me busy enough in 2015 and 2016, but I was trading time for money and wasn't earning very much. I learned a ton, though, and as part of expanding my business knowledge I started meditating as part of the Presence Process in early 2016. The meditation helped me realize that I was very sad and even depressed.

 

In Sept 2016, my family doctor prescribed cipralex without digging into my background very much. It was helping another family member of mine, and according to my doctor had no side effects. He suggested that I could take it for 4-6 months and then see how things were; maybe by then I could find a career direction that would be more fulfilling and I could wean myself off the pills.

 

Four months later, I'm still feeling low from time to time. I don't feel like the pills are doing anything. To be honest, joining NF has helped my outlook more than anything else I've tried. Maybe my expectations are too high, but I'm excited to become physically fit. Also, having the prescription made my depression "real" and part of me saw it as an excuse to eat poorly -- because I was depressed.

 

I've also been listening to a lot of audio books for the past 4 months, specifically the ones recommended by Seth Godin in his Feb 2016 interview with Tim Ferriss. I was on the fence about joining NF last week when I resumed my most recent Zig book and heard him describing how we should ask for help if we need it. Zig was talking about getting counseling to help work through past issues causing a negative self image, but I knew I had a problem with cookies and sweets and am hoping the NF community can help me overcome my eating addiction.

 

All this to say that I do believe anti-depressants can be very valuable and I don't mean to imply that everyone should get off them. I believe in my case that building up my self-confidence will be enough to get me off my pills.

[YoussarianAscended]

Just now, Scottydog said:

Four months later, I'm still feeling low from time to time. I don't feel like the pills are doing anything. To be honest, joining NF has helped my outlook more than anything else I've tried. Maybe my expectations are too high, but I'm excited to become physically fit. Also, having the prescription made my depression "real" and part of me saw it as an excuse to eat poorly -- because I was depressed.

 

Having a goal to work toward often helps me find motivation and lifts me out of dark moods. Perhaps that works for you as well, and is why NF is improving your outlook. If that's the case, then keep at it! Keep making goals to get better, and keep working toward them. I tend to be at my most depressed when I feel like I'm stuck in a rut, with no way to challenge or better myself. NF is useful for getting out of the rut and into a better lifestyle. 

[Scottydog]

44 minutes ago, YoussarianAscended said:

 

I tend to be at my most depressed when I feel like I'm stuck in a rut, with no way to challenge or better myself.

 

This perfectly describes my own low points! Looking back over the past year, I can see exactly the same pattern in my mood. Thanks for sharing!

[Scottydog]

I'm working through NFA slowly, with only one or two modules each day, but here's a picture of where I want to be at the end of March:

 

I'm somebody that eats healthy foods 75% of the time, only has dessert once a week, attends aikido 2-3 times per week, weighs 185 lbs, and exercises daily with strength training at least twice a week.

 

My cookie addiction is more troublesome than expected. I was nervous about quitting cold-turkey because I've tried that many times and never got it to stick for more than a few days. I got excited about the idea of weaning myself off of them slowly - basically by eating fewer each week than the week before. I also like to have some on hand to give as treats to the boys in their school lunches from time to time (roughly 2x/wk). So this morning I bought some cookies, and one bag is already 2/3 gone. :-(  I'm technically still within my weekly allowance, but can only have 13 more until Sunday to meet my goal for the week. I might resort to locking them up and having my wife keep the key.

[Scottydog]

So yesterday I slipped up bigtime with the cookies. I've decided to change my approach. Instead of having treats around and limiting myself, I'll simply stop buying them. I've even set up a wall calendar so I can cross off each day and start a streak.

 

On the fitness side, I'm feeling nicely sore from Tuesday's strength training. It was pretty simple, just a 7-minute workout following by bicep curls and a few extra triceps dips. I'm excited to keep it up, but also want to ease into it so I'm planning to rest today and focus on a harder session tomorrow.

[Scottydog]

It's much easier to simply not buy the cookies. I still find myself searching for something to nibble on, but now it ends up being cashews or almonds or maybe a dried fig. Although that's not perfect, it's a step in the right direction.

 

In the academy, I have nearly finished the mindset module. This morning I woke with some pain in my middle back and I expect that to go away as I strengthen my core so I'm excited to get into the exercises.

[Scottydog]

Not buying cookies is working well. It has only been 4 days, but I'm feeling much better about it than when I was trying to ignore the cookies I knew were in the kitchen.

 

I might try making some protein cookies though, with minimal sugar and lots of protein. Making them myself doesn't break my rule, and one of the guys in the NFA FB group shared a recipe for peanut butter protein cookies that looks easy and might even help me build some muscle.

 

Although I haven't quite finished the mindset module yet, I jumped ahead to the workout section and did my first bodyweight workout (3A) today! Most of it was well within my capability but my current fitness is pretty unbalanced so I'm happy to ease into things and reduce my potential for injury.

[Scottydog]

I now have 6 X's on my "don't buy cookies" calendar, and successfully did the grocery shopping today without adding any to the cart. It's still early but going well.

 

This morning I did bodyweight workout 3B and was humbled by the chin ups. I used to be able to do 7 or 8 unassisted, so I figured doing 5 unassisted should be fine. Nope. I could only manage 4, so I grabbed a milk crate so I could finish them off assisted. Oh well, it's not where we are that matters, but the direction we're going, and today was definitely better than the workouts I didn't do last week/month/year so I'm good.

[Scottydog]

One week down with zero cookies purchased!

 

Having my home office literally attached to the kitchen doesn't help, and I'm still snacking but it has switched to bananas and grapes and sometimes cashews or almonds. I have medium-term plans to upgrade my batcave by moving my home office away from the kitchen and into a corner of the living room, but that'll be after I finish renovating the basement.

 

In the meantime, I'm getting the daily cardio walking my daughter to daycare on the snowy sidewalks. I'm pretty stiff from this week's workouts and it's a great feeling!

[Scottydog]

My kids were home from school yesterday and I successfully resisted temptation to skip my workout. It was cute because my daughter helped me count reps but tended to go a wee bit too fast. This morning I squeezed in some light cardio while my son was at his violin lesson, and tonight we're having family over for a big meal. I still haven't bought any cookies so that's going well. My next step is to eliminate emotional snacking altogether, but I want to give myself time to lock in the "no cookie" habit before tackling something else. I've read that habits take 66 days to form, on average, and this is important enough that I want to take my time to help make it stick.

[Scottydog]

So far so good, and today is the 14th day without buying any cookies - I just need to make it another 11 hours to reach my 2-week reward of a coffee grinder.

 

The workouts are going well, too, although yesterday I had some knee pain. I think it's from some combination of the workout + two aikido classes back-to-back (Mon evening and Tue during lunch) + carrying my daughter on my shoulders on our way to daycare for the past two mornings. It's great bonding time, but also an extra 35+ pounds on my knees.

 

I've recently started reading Crazy Sexy Diet after seeing the author on a food documentary. Part-way in, it seems like fairly hard-core vegetarianism. I know it's not paleo but I'm curious to learn more about this and see what I can piece together with the info from the academy nutrition module. In the meantime I can be happy with cutting way back on sweets!

[Scottydog]

Not buying cookies definitely works for me. When there's junk food in the house, though, I still have a problem. The birthday party was great, but I finished off the party mix over the following week. Two days ago my 7-year-old really wanted to bake cookies and I'm struggling to forget they're in the house. He and his brother did a great job cutting them out and decorating them and that actually helps because I don't want to accidentally eat their favourites. :-)

 

I finished Crazy Sexy Diet and it's definitely crazy. I found it way too complicated to follow; much of it reads like a whole bunch of small articles bunched together, and it's hard to keep everything in mind. Also I'm wary of the promises of abundant energy and reversing all negative symptoms (although that does make it sexy) because I didn't experience those when I tried the primal diet 1 1/2 years ago. I'm now nearly halfway through Death by Food Pyramid, which is very technical and reads like a textbook at times but has a much stronger foundation with the scientific method. I haven't yet chosen a diet plan, but will start a food log in the next week or so.

[Scottydog]

Woohoo! I just beat the bodyweight level 3 boss.  Bodyweight level 4 here I come!

[Scottydog]

Wow, the bodyweight 4B workout kicked my butt this morning. I'm really enjoying the new workouts!

 

As of today I have gone 29 days without buying any cookies. This habit is getting embedded. It's also getting a bit easier to avoid eating the cookies we baked on the weekend!

[mom2sjm]

 

Awesome job on not buying cookies!  That's how I conquered my daily soda habit.  And the chart is a good idea.  The visual reminder, the satisfaction of crossing off another day - I like it!  When I'm at the office and wanting one of the free sodas in the fridge, I find a change of scenery helps even if it's just going from my office to the copy room.  or I grab some water.

 

For exercise I can't recommend highly enough Steve's playground workout when you are out and about with your kids.  you don't even have to actually do the whole thing but just remembering a couple of the moves - like using the swings for a few body weight rows or using the ladder for elevated push ups - gets you moving.  My kids would often join me for a couple of reps.  If they were off doing something else then sometimes I'd just hang from the bars and work on my grip strength.  You could also do a few rounds of CINDY at a playground.  All this stuff works good at home in the back yard as well.

 

 

[Scottydog]

Thanks mom2sjm! That playground workout looks fantastic, and I can see how it's easy to do CINDY pretty much anywhere too. I'll definitely try that out once the ice & snow melt and our playgrounds reopen. Thank you for suggesting it!

[Scottydog]

Thursday and Friday last week were rough, and I think it was because I wasn't sleeping well. I'm still not buying cookies or other treats, but I did polish off some chocolate covered almonds my wife had picked up. I've been on a half-dose of cipralex since early February and was considering returning to the full dose but decided to stick it out for another month. My low moods are often somewhat cyclical, and if I upped the dose right away it might have been easy to confound any boost in my mood to the extra drugs. My doctor said to adjust as necessary - obviously without going above the full prescribed dose - so I'm not worried about doing anything medically unsound.

 

I'm feeling overwhelmed because I'm falling behind in my studies, and my basement renovation is in high gear now that we're renting a temporary garbage container. Luckily the major demolition is nearly complete and once the container's gone I'll have more leeway in the schedule again.

 

I've also been reading about Stoicism, and it's helping me put things in perspective and be more centered in the moment. The random but normal things my kids are doing seem less frustrating than they did last week.

[Scottydog]

Today's day 50, and it's going well. This morning I even took my kids grocery shopping and was able to walk through the cookie section without even being tempted. I'm now "someone who doesn't buy cookies." I'm going to stick with this streak for another 16 days, though, because that's the goal for one of my epic quests. I believe I read in The One Thing that it takes an average of 66 days to form a new habit. This one seems to be sticking fairly well, and I plan to keep it beyond the 66 days, but I'm going to wait until then before switching my focus onto a new habit.

[Scottydog]

I'm picking this back up a year later. Cookies and chocolate still tempt me regularly. Once I hit an emotional low point, the sweets came back with promises of instant bliss. At the moment I'm spending more effort dealing with the emotional side and giving myself a break on the zero-cookie habit. Instead of aiming for perfection, I'm trying to be more curious about what it actually feels like when I cave in to the cravings. This is directly from "A simple way to break a bad habit", a 9-minute TED talk by Judson Brewer (https://youtu.be/-moW9jvvMr4), and it's also aligned with the acceptance and commitment therapy I'm learning to ward off depression.

 

I've had some solid fitness wins in the past year though:

• I got to BW level 6 in July, took 3 months off, picked up again from BW level 5, and made it to level 7 in January!
• In late January I started the Simple & Sinister daily kettlebell program and have been doing these "recharge" workouts nearly every day.

[Scottydog]

I'm a bit embarrassed to admit that I might have taken on too much weight too soon. My Simple & Sinister 24-kg kettlebell swings have been going great for a month, and I started incorporating the 32-kg kettlebell on Sunday. Unfortunately at one point I extended my right shoulder when I reached down to adjust the 32-kg bell's position and I felt a small but sharp pain. It's a bummer because it wasn't even part of the workout. I stepped back the 32-kg work to 2-arm swings, and only 2 sets out of the 10, and there's no pain while I'm working out but I feel it through the rest of the day.

 

I've heard that it's important to not ramp up too quickly so that your connective tissue has time to catch up to new muscle. Now I'm unsure whether to i) take a full break until the pain goes away, or ii) continue taking it easy and see whether it improves. I think I'll continue taking it easy and see how it goes for the coming week. I'm also installing drywall in my basement this week so I'll be intentional about stabilizing my shoulder as I work.

[Scottydog]

My shoulder's much better now. I scaled back a bit but didn't have to stop completely. The plan is to continue increasing weight slowly. The 24-kg get-ups feel pretty good now but I plan to wait another 4-6 weeks before introducing 32-kg to my get-ups.

[Scottydog]

Argh. My left knee is acting up. It's stiff and a bit swollen, and I'm starting to think it's because of the Turkish get-ups. I first noticed it feeling stiff 2 weeks ago after spending most of the day on my feet. Over the following week it became much more inflamed, to the point that I skipped my aikido class on Monday night because my knee hurt too much to walk to the dojo.

 

I'm trying to focus on what's good about this. On what I can do:

1) By being aware of the pain and focusing on good form, I noticed that my knee does not hurt during kettlebell swings, and it does hurt (just a tiny bit) at a few points during the get-ups. For the past 2 days I have replaced the get-ups with other exercises: planks, pushups, and V-ups.

2) I can install my pull-up bar in the upstairs hallway to give myself more alternatives, including the NFA rings program. Yesterday I bought a 1 3/4" dowel to use as the main bar.

3) I can cut the simple & sinister routine back to 3x/wk instead of 6-7x/wk to give my body more time to recover. I _really_ like the routine of simply doing it each morning, because there's nothing to decide. Is it morning? Time to exercise. I can still do that with other exercises though, like pushups and burpees (but only after my knee recovers) and core work and soon pullups.

4) I can focus on hydrating more. Some of my research indicated that a buildup of synovial fluid can be mitigated by drinking more water to help flush out the toxins that may lead to the fluid buildup. The week that my knee went downhill fast was bad for staying hydrated because I spent a ton of time working on my basement and didn't take enough water breaks.

 

Looks like it may be much, much longer than 4-6 weeks before I regularly do 32-kg get-ups. On one hand, that's disappointing. But remembering that this is a lifelong activity helps me accept that it's fine to take it slow.

[Scottydog]

I took about a week off from Turkish Get-Ups, and the prying goblet squats that make up part of the warm-up, and my knee is back to normal. Luckily I've been able to keep doing the kettlebell swings and I'm pleased to be doing 3 sets with 32-kg.

 

This morning I tried modified get-ups and it was a bust. Instead of windshield wipering my lower leg, essentially pivoting on my knee, I moved my bent leg in line with the lower leg. I also used 16-kg instead of the 24-kg I'd been using for the past 7 weeks. It seemed wise to use a lower weight when trying a new technique. Despite this being much easier on the lower knee, there was still searing pain around my kneecap - the right one this time - and I called it a day after my 3rd set rather than finishing all 5. It could be that the prying goblet squats help prepare my knees for this, so in a few days I'll try again. In the meantime I'll keep doing other exercises.

 

I'm bummed. I really want something simple and steady that I can do at home without thinking about it much. What's good about this is that I'll learn more about what works for my body, and I'll learn more about alternative exercises that still bring me closer to my goal of being anti-fragile.