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Twilight

Twilight: It just takes time

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I dunno guys. Trans bathroom protection has been removed. I just saw Hidden Figures last night and it was so, so good. The part about the segregated bathrooms is particularly relevant to me right now. My kid has been provided with gender neutral bathrooms at school, but their classmates aren't allowing them to use it. I'm just so done. Who cares where people pee?? I don't look at anyone else in the bathroom! What does it matter what they have between their legs? There have been ZERO cases of trans women (because let's be real, this is transmisogyny at its finest) assaulting cis women in bathrooms and LOTS OF accusations of sexual assault against the old cis white men who want to ban women from using the washroom.

 

The campers in Standing Rock are being cleared out by a heavily armed, large military presence at this very moment. How do people not see history repeating itself? Over and over, First Nations people have their land and children taken away from them. This is appalling, and people should be up in arms. Except people of colour get shot if they're suspected of being armed. Meanwhile, NRA members are now showing up armed to Trump rallies. Why is he still holding rallies when he won? So much propaganda. It's sickening.

 

There's so much going on every day, and most people don't want to know about it. I have no energy to work out, to work on myself, to meet my goals.

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I don't have an answer, but I feel you. It feels like we've tipped over into a parallel universe where nothing makes sense.

 

I'm trying to fight the feeling by taking small measures of control where I can. You're not alone. 

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I really don't understand the bathroom thing either. We all use it for exactly the same things... Sigh. Actually I don't understand the world in general right now. We can connect easier than ever yet we're so very divided.

 

I know it's tough, but remember to take care of yourself. You can't change the world if you don't take care of yourself. :) Maybe have days where you completely switch off from news/social media/politics?

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On 2/23/2017 at 1:48 PM, Twilight said:

Why is he still holding rallies when he won?

Because that's how autocrats operate. :| So sorry to hear about your kid being barred from the bathroom, that sucks big time. The world is a weird and scary place right now.

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Decent weekend. I'm doing better with sleep, and with stretching. I didn't make art, and I didn't try something new/old.

 

Almost finished Narcissus in Chains (an Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter novel) and it's a great distraction from the world right now. I have Friday off because we'll be travelling for the rope performance on Saturday. Things are getting settled with gf moving in; almost finished unpacking and finding a place for everything.

 

I've attracted some bullies on both of my Twitter accounts. They don't like that I don't fit into their worldview. I thought I'd mention it because keeping quiet means it's not visible, and people who don't experience regular bullying won't be aware of it unless we speak up about it. So yeah, I get people yelling at me regularly on the internet about different parts of my life and who I am. Fortunately I'm nearly 40 and am pretty comfortable in who and what I am. It still hurts sometimes, but it's often so ridiculous that I can't even find a way to be offended. I'm more worried about younger people, of course.

 

On 24/02/2017 at 1:23 PM, RogueLibrarian said:

I don't have an answer, but I feel you. It feels like we've tipped over into a parallel universe where nothing makes sense.

 

I'm trying to fight the feeling by taking small measures of control where I can. You're not alone. 

 

Thanks.

 

On 24/02/2017 at 2:29 PM, Mad Hatter said:

I really don't understand the bathroom thing either. We all use it for exactly the same things... Sigh. Actually I don't understand the world in general right now. We can connect easier than ever yet we're so very divided.

 

I know it's tough, but remember to take care of yourself. You can't change the world if you don't take care of yourself. :) Maybe have days where you completely switch off from news/social media/politics?

 

Yeah, I'm considering regularly scheduled media breaks.

 

On 24/02/2017 at 3:26 PM, Plazmotic said:

Because that's how autocrats operate. :| So sorry to hear about your kid being barred from the bathroom, that sucks big time. The world is a weird and scary place right now.

 

It was rhetorical, but yeah.

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Sorry to hear about bathroom bullies and twitter bullies, shitty people are shitty :( 

 

On 2/27/2017 at 11:49 AM, Twilight said:

Yeah, I'm considering regularly scheduled media breaks.

I've been doing this occaisionally as of late, it's been good for my head :) 

 

I really like Spotify's Discover Weekly playlist, it's been pretty great for me. Should show up after you've been using it for a week, it basically looks at the music you listen to/save/whatevs and builds a playlist of stuff you might like

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The internet is unfortunately a playground for sad, sad bullies. I'm glad you're handling it well enough.

 

Yay for gf settling in and more sleep! 7 hours is good, but it might still take a little while for your body to catch up and stop being tired. Just keep up the good work. :) 

 

And seconding the discover weekly playlist. It's fun!

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Another night with close to eight hours of sleep and I feel pretty great! :D I had to go to sleep stupid early, but it's so nice to not feel like a zombie all day!

 

Doing some desk push ups today. It's at standing height so I'm nowhere near parallel to the ground, but I've lost quite a bit of upper body strength in the last year. I'll get it back if I keep at it, so I'm not worried about that.

 

On 28/02/2017 at 9:41 PM, maegs said:

Sorry to hear about bathroom bullies and twitter bullies, shitty people are shitty :( 

 

I've been doing this occaisionally as of late, it's been good for my head :) 

 

I really like Spotify's Discover Weekly playlist, it's been pretty great for me. Should show up after you've been using it for a week, it basically looks at the music you listen to/save/whatevs and builds a playlist of stuff you might like

 

Bathrooms and shitty people :lol:

 

Thanks for the music tip!

 

On 01/03/2017 at 7:51 AM, Mad Hatter said:

The internet is unfortunately a playground for sad, sad bullies. I'm glad you're handling it well enough.

 

Yay for gf settling in and more sleep! 7 hours is good, but it might still take a little while for your body to catch up and stop being tired. Just keep up the good work. :) 

 

And seconding the discover weekly playlist. It's fun!

 

I've had years of practice. It's the harm they're doing to younger people that worries me.

 

Thanks! I can do it! :D

 

I'm so excited about music, it's so great!

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Go you on sleep and desk pushups!!!  It'll come back fast since you've done it before. 

 

Also, I must both thank and blame you for reminding me of Pokemon :-D 

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Weekend happened! I did the thing and felt good about it! Got stretching in, did my best to not completely much up my shiny new sleep schedule, and had a lovely time with my partners and friends. And I made a mess!

 

 

 

I'm SO SORE. I don't even know why. It's my legs and lower back. I guess probably the one performance I did where I was tied rather than did the tying, but damn. I will attempt desk pushups today, but no guarantees.

 

Feeling good about my body right now, even though I'm not focusing on diet or training. Making peace with how I feel I should be and what's realistic.

 

On 02/03/2017 at 7:46 PM, Teirin said:

Go you on sleep and desk pushups!!!  It'll come back fast since you've done it before. 

 

Also, I must both thank and blame you for reminding me of Pokemon :-D 

 

I can't even be mad about relearning skills because I know it'll come back!

 

Mwahaha! I caught a deerling! :D

 

On 03/03/2017 at 7:21 PM, Teirin said:

I saw this and thought of you:

 

OMG yes. I want this: https://www.amazon.com/Best-Metallica-Ukulele-Vocal-Tab/dp/1603789618

 

13 hours ago, RogueLibrarian said:

Hi! I'm back alive again! I don't know if she's on Spotify but check out my favorite rapper Jean Grae.

 

Image result for frankenstein it's alive

 

She is on Spotify! Thanks! :D Yaaaay new music. :D

 

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On 07/03/2017 at 3:20 PM, Twilight said:

I did the thing and felt good about it!

That's what it's all about! :D 

On 07/03/2017 at 3:20 PM, Twilight said:

Feeling good about my body right now, even though I'm not focusing on diet or training. Making peace with how I feel I should be and what's realistic.

And this!

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ART. Feels good.

 

I've been getting lots of stretching in and it's helped so much for my sore muscles. I'm going to roll out my muscles with my lacrosse ball today, too. Yesterday's yoga was very relaxing.

 

I think my next challenge will be to start adding on activities again, one by one. Desk push ups need a reminder to happen, I think. I can set an hourly alarm because it's not happening "when I think of it." Gotta make it a habit!

 

ONE photo from the weekend so far. I'm trying to be patient, but I'm really excited about things and want to see!

 

I've been stressing over the awfulness of the world again. Reading things about how to deal with anxiety recommend doing body-focus things like meditation and yoga. I really need to get on the meditation train.

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On 3/9/2017 at 5:16 PM, Twilight said:

I think my next challenge will be to start adding on activities again, one by one. Desk push ups need a reminder to happen, I think. I can set an hourly alarm because it's not happening "when I think of it." Gotta make it a habit!

 

It never made it into a habit, but I really liked it when I did something, pushups or squats or stretch, every time I went to the loo. It was an easy reminder.

 

And yay for stretching and art and photos! 

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7 minutes ago, Twilight said:

even though I didn't want to get out of bed

 

Well now this is a veeeery different problem. :D And a much better one at that.

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End of the challenge! I made it!

 

Goals

  1. Sleep more than 7 hours 7x per week : 71% achieved! 7-8 hours of sleep on a consistent basis!
  2. Stretch 3x per week : 167% achieved! I stretched more often than 3x per week!
  3. Make art 1x per week : 75% achieved! including two rope events that I'm really proud of!
  4. Try something new/old each week (lift, swim, sledgehammer, run (UGH), etc) : 75% achieved! including 130 desk pushups!

OVERALL: REALLY GREAT ACTUALLY, GO ME.

 

I'm so, so happy that I'm finally getting traction on sleeping well. Like this weekend I stayed up late Friday night because I went out to a fantastic event called Bent Beauty Supreme, where six weirdos competed for the pageant title! It was so much fun!

 

 

Just look at those legs!

 

Saturday we dropped the kids off with my parents for March Break. We met up at Denny's for lunch and at first I was all MMM and omnomnom.

 

 

 

But then I felt gross an hour and a half later, and had no appetite for the rest of the day. Y so gross when u look so pretty, Denny's?

 

Then I went out to an event where I became part of a human and rope kinetic sculpture. Got gold body paint on everything. It was a good night. :D

 

 

I got to bed at 5am (dang daylight savings time making it even worse), and only slept for 5 hours, but got a good night's sleep last night, and am feeling pretty good at work today. SLEEP IS MAGIC. I've even done one set of desk pushups so far today.

 

NEXT CHALLENGE!

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What an awesome challenge! It sounds like you're beginning to find the balance between doing all the fun things and getting enough sleep now. :) 

 

Also I don't know what's going on in that beauty pageant photo but I frickin' love it. 

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