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Yraen Works on Figuring His Life Out


Yraen

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So I'm kind of a mess and my life is almost totally a mess. I lost my job in November because I can be very disagreeable sometimes and I'm just a mess. My waist has gone up 4.5 inches, I'm way weaker then I was, I'm unemployed, I haven't finished or really even studied for my GED, my depression is worse, my anxiety is worse, and I'm struggling with addiction with no real success. I'm sick of it. This challenge is about getting things sorted out and figuring out where I want to be. 

The most important thing right now is that I find a job. I'm running low on money and don't have enough to make my insurance payment this month.
That is goal number one. There's no grading on this, it's hit or miss.
Goal two is to do some serious thinking and praying about what I should do in life. Right now I'm thinking about joining the Army and trying to become a Ranger but I don't know if that's what God wants for me and that's the most important thing. This goal is to spend time reading the Bible and talking to God everyday to try to figure out His will.
Goal three is my exercise goal. I'm going to do strength training three days per week alternating heavy weight lifting days with high volume calisthenics. I will also be doing cardio three days per week.
Goal four is eating. Eat less, eat better. The goal is to cut soda down to once per week, cut out grains, and limit carbs. Not going to be extremely strict with tracking but I'll try to stick to under 100 grams per day. 
I can't remember the last time I completed a challenge, that needs to change. I'm setting myself an additional goal to check in at least every three days, even if I have nothing good to report.
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Looks like some good plans. Since the #1 goal is to get a job, what are your specific plans for doing that? Maybe something like a certain amount of applications per week.

 

Also if you are struggling with addiction without success have you thought about counseling or outside help? You don't say what the addiction is, but until you get that under control it is most likely going to be hard to move forward.

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Wisdom 22.5   Dexterity 13   Charisma 15   Strength 21  Constitution-13

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind' Luke 10; 27

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38 minutes ago, Elastigirl said:

Looks like some good plans. Since the #1 goal is to get a job, what are your specific plans for doing that? Maybe something like a certain amount of applications per week.

 

Also if you are struggling with addiction without success have you thought about counseling or outside help? You don't say what the addiction is, but until you get that under control it is most likely going to be hard to move forward.

My plan for getting a job is apply where I haven't already, and watch job sites. Most places won't higher me because of the whole high school dropout thing, so my options are limited.

 

As for the addiction I am working on it. The thing is as much as it's a problem it's caused in large part by other issues so as I improve those it will lessen. Thinking about it it seems like I have made a bit of progress but in a one step forward .99 step back kinda way.

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I'd say you've already taken a great step - creating a challenge thread and sharing your struggles with us. Here to cheer you on!

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Feminist Ranger (she/her)

Based in Melbourne, Australia

Current Challenge: Emerald Eagle refills her cup (January 2021)
Instagram: @emeraldeaglenf

 

“I wish you would thrash him. He deserves it." She looked back at him. "I will one day, sir. I'm getting tired of falling down.” - Alanna: The First Adventure

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40 minutes ago, Yraen said:

My plan for getting a job is apply where I haven't already, and watch job sites. Most places won't higher me because of the whole high school dropout thing, so my options are limited.

 

As for the addiction I am working on it. The thing is as much as it's a problem it's caused in large part by other issues so as I improve those it will lessen. Thinking about it it seems like I have made a bit of progress but in a one step forward .99 step back kinda way.

Sounds good. I guess what I was thinking was to make some specific steps that you are measurable to getting a job. Something like  " Every day for 10 minutes I will look at job sites and see what is open and apply to any that I think will work". Then every day you know  what your big goal is.

Love your goal of reading the Bible and talking to God. That is where you will get the strength to do the other things.

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Wisdom 22.5   Dexterity 13   Charisma 15   Strength 21  Constitution-13

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind' Luke 10; 27

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44 minutes ago, EmeraldEagle said:

I'd say you've already taken a great step - creating a challenge thread and sharing your struggles with us. Here to cheer you on!

Thanks. I figure having some extra accountability is always a good thing. Good to have you here.

 

22 minutes ago, Elastigirl said:

Sounds good. I guess what I was thinking was to make some specific steps that you are measurable to getting a job. Something like  " Every day for 10 minutes I will look at job sites and see what is open and apply to any that I think will work". Then every day you know  what your big goal is.

Love your goal of reading the Bible and talking to God. That is where you will get the strength to do the other things.

I don't really live in a largely populated area so ten minutes every day on job sites would mostly be looking at old postings.

That is very true. I have always had a hard time getting into the habit of daily devotions so I figured I'd make it a priority, as it should be.

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On February 7, 2017 at 6:13 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Sorry you're having a rough time, I'll be following along.

Thanks Tank, always good to have you along.

 

Last few days have not been all that successful. Ate way too many carbs, not really been working out, just not getting much done. Couldn't sleep last night due to stressing about everything. Got a workout in today though.

 

45x5 135x5 165x3x2 Squat

45x5 135x5 255x3 285x3 Deadlift
45x5 75x5 115x3x2 OHP
BWx5 45x5 50x5 Weighted Push-up
20x4x3 Reverse wrist curl
40x8x2 Wrist curl
First number is weight, second is reps, third is sets.
Not too bad for not sleeping. My lifts are horrible but they'll get better. Also did quite a bit of stretching.
 
Wrote up a short little poem
 
I am bored out of my mind
So I came up with this rhyme
In order to kill some time
I couldn't sell it for a dime
But it helped to settle my mind
 
It's horrible but I like to share anyways.
 
 
 
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Today was a pretty awesome day. Morning was meh, but in the afternoon I went to the local trail with my friends and had a blast. We mostly staid off the trail and followed a creek bed. Went off into some of the beaten path areas and did some exploring. Lots of walking, quite a bit of running, and some good rock climbing. After that we went to the Mexican place in town and I had the best burrito of my life! Steak, chicken, shrimp, bell peppers, and onions all covered in white cheese sauce. It was amazing! And huge! 12 inches long and about as big around. That plus a ton of chips and salsa. I ate a ton of carbs and I regret nothing! Then we went to one of my friend's house and played some ping pong and talked a lot. We talked about work, about weight lifting, cars, tracks, motorcycles, guns, politics, theology, Tolkien, just about everything. It was the first time in a long time I got to do something like that I feel like I really needed it. Just had a great time and need to do it more often. 

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On February 11, 2017 at 11:58 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Glad you got a good day, we all need those once in a while.

Thanks Tank. It was the best day I've had in a long time.

 

On February 12, 2017 at 0:21 AM, Elastigirl said:

Glad you had a good day. Friends and being outside are ways we really should spend our time more.

Thanks. I wish I could spend more time with them but they both work and go to school so we mostly just see each other at church. Not much time outside is entirely my fault though.

 

Challenge day one went pretty good. Sundays are my designated rest days so I didn't train. Church services where good.

Carbs where 39 total and 28.5 net.

 

Took my measurements in the morning.

 

Neck 16
Chest 44.5
Shoulders 50
Waist 36.5
Bicep 14.5
Forearm 12.25
Hips 41.25
Thigh 24.5
Calf 16.25

 

Last I knew weight was around 212. 

 

Today was alright. Woke up early and did my devotions which came with a good time of prayer. 

Worked out after that

3x4 Pull-ups

1x20 2x10 Push-ups 30 second rests
2x25 Squat 20 second rest
 
Not much volume because I'm in horrible shape. Thankfully I tend to improve quick on these things. 
 
After that I went in and put in an application and interviewed at the local wind and solar place. 
Then came the fun. Did my taxes in the afternoon. My first time doing them. They suck. As if I wasn't already a fan of small government. Not going to lie I got kinda stressed out from it and some unhealthy decisions where made. Had more carbs then I should've and quite a bit of soda. But I stayed under 100 grams of carbs and stuck to diet so it could've been worse. Besides carbs and soda are the healthiest ways of dealing with stress I got. And I didn't have the willpower to turn down 59 cent IBCs. 
Total carbs 97.5. Net carbs 93.5
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I think you get points just for doing the taxes. And your workout routine is good too. And an interview. Looks like good progress to me!

Wisdom 22.5   Dexterity 13   Charisma 15   Strength 21  Constitution-13

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind' Luke 10; 27

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34 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

No judgement from me on taxes-induced carbs.

Thanks Tank. Like I said it could've been a lot worse.

 

28 minutes ago, Elastigirl said:

I think you get points just for doing the taxes. And your workout routine is good too. And an interview. Looks like good progress to me!

I have made some good progress. Got my tax forms filled out, mailed out some other necessary paperwork, managed to add back a few reps on push-ups and squats, and have gained a half an inch on my shoulders and chest since the first of the month. Workout wasn't quite what I would've liked but I wasn't feeling 100 percent so I took it kinda easy.

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Did my Bible reading and praying today. 

 

More cardio type workout today

5 rounds 1 minute jump rope 1 minute rest

5 minutes rest
2 rounds 45 second waiter walk with 40 pound dumbbell per side. 5 seconds rest between arms
2 minutes rest
10 Burpees with push-up
3 minutes rest
30 seconds mountain climbers
This sucked. I should've rested less but it still sucked.
 
Carbs at 94.5 total and 67.5 net. 
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Had some good devotions today. Went to church for a great missionary service.

 

Good workout in. Probably over did it a bit.

 

Bwx5 45x5 95x5 135x5 205x1(Failed 2nd) 185x2(Could probably have gotten 3 but didn't want to change it) Squat

45x5 135x5 205x5 285x4 Deadlift
205x3x2 Bent over row
45x5 75x5 125x3x2 Overhead Press
40x6x2 Rear delt raise
Bwx5 45x5 75x3 Weighted Pushup
40x10 incline dumbbell press
45x5 90x5 125x10 Hip Raise
45 second weighted plank with 45 pounds(for extra points I listened to the Ranger Creed to motivate me while doing this).
20x5x3 Reverse wrist curl
40x10 Wrist curl
45x8x2 Neck Curl
45x10x2 Neck extension 
20x10 Overhead extension
Same write up as last time
 
Carbs today at 102.5 total 86.5 net. Call it good.
 
Planning to play basketball with the guys tomorrow for my cardio.
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Looks like you had some good workouts. How did the basketball game go? How about the end of your week- how's it going?

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Wisdom 22.5   Dexterity 13   Charisma 15   Strength 21  Constitution-13

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind' Luke 10; 27

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6 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

Looks like you had some good workouts. How did the basketball game go? How about the end of your week- how's it going?

Thanks. Basketball went okay. I caught an elbow to the ribs so their a bit tinder but other then that good. Weekends going okay all in all I guess.

 

Carbs for Thursday good at just under 100. Got a workout in Friday nothing major to report. Way to many carbs on Friday, somewhere around 200 I'd guess. Got some cardio in today. Carbs good. Devotions every day. Like I said all in all it ain't been too bad, I'm just tired, depressed, and stressed. I'm completely out of money and don't have any job prospects. I've spent far more time crying then I care to admit and put a good sized dent in one of the walls. To top it all off I've hardly slept the past few days.

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On 2/18/2017 at 4:00 PM, Yraen said:

Thanks. Basketball went okay. I caught an elbow to the ribs so their a bit tinder but other then that good. Weekends going okay all in all I guess.

 

Carbs for Thursday good at just under 100. Got a workout in Friday nothing major to report. Way to many carbs on Friday, somewhere around 200 I'd guess. Got some cardio in today. Carbs good. Devotions every day. Like I said all in all it ain't been too bad, I'm just tired, depressed, and stressed. I'm completely out of money and don't have any job prospects. I've spent far more time crying then I care to admit and put a good sized dent in one of the walls. To top it all off I've hardly slept the past few days.

Sounds like you are doing great as far as food choices and getting exercise in. Getting those things under control will help with your depression. Praying for you that you might know how much God loves you, and that you will be able to turn to him as your refuge and strength.

On the job prospects, have you thought about getting your GED? If you talk to a school counselor at a community college, they may be able to help you with finances for some classes. Or you could probably find some on line classes.

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Wisdom 22.5   Dexterity 13   Charisma 15   Strength 21  Constitution-13

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind' Luke 10; 27

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Checking in on you again, sorry to hear things are going so rough, 

16 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

On the job prospects, have you thought about getting your GED?

This is excellent advice, as someone who has a number of years as a hiring manager behind them I can tell you it really DOES make a huge difference!

 

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RES...and I want to live days worth dying for

Current: RES: SET but not always ready

Spoiler

Growth happens when you care more about the well being of your future self than the comfort of your present self!

"Pass on what you have learned. Strength, mastery. But weakness, folly, failure also. Yes, failure most of all. The greatest teacher, failure is." -Yoda

 

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On February 18, 2017 at 11:38 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Sorry you're having it so rough man. That really stinks.

It wasn't really all that bad. I was just very sleep deprived and coming down sick when I last posted.

 

On February 19, 2017 at 8:54 PM, Elastigirl said:

Sounds like you are doing great as far as food choices and getting exercise in. Getting those things under control will help with your depression. Praying for you that you might know how much God loves you, and that you will be able to turn to him as your refuge and strength.

On the job prospects, have you thought about getting your GED? If you talk to a school counselor at a community college, they may be able to help you with finances for some classes. Or you could probably find some on line classes.

My carbs where mostly low because my overall food intake was low, and my workouts where subpar. They did help though. 

Thanks for the prayers, I really appreciate them. 

I want to get my GED but here in Missouri it cost $95 to take the tests. As I said I'm broke. Stupid thing is I could've passed the tests a long time ago but I kept putting it off.

 

On February 20, 2017 at 1:42 PM, RES said:

Checking in on you again, sorry to hear things are going so rough, 

This is excellent advice, as someone who has a number of years as a hiring manager behind them I can tell you it really DOES make a huge difference!

 

Thanks for checking in. Like I told Tank it wasn't really all that bad but everything just pooled together to make it seem worse. 

I know it makes a huge difference, there have been about a dozen jobs I would've been perfect for if I had my stinkin' diploma.

 

So I been sick since Saturday night and haven't really trained. Also haven't been eating very well because low carb requires cooking and I have not felt up to that at all. Coming out of it so hopefully I can train tomorrow. 

Not been in a good place spiritually past few days. Haven't done my devotions and pray's been at the minimum. Got it done today though so hopefully I can get back on the right track. 

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Hi Yraen!  It's been too long since I've been around these parts.  Good to see you are still powering through.  I see lots of ups and downs already in this 4 week challenge.  Here's hoping for many more UPs in the days to come.

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suzyQlou * Ranger    

Old Challenges: #1(2015) * #2 * #3(push ups) * #4 * #5(food) * #6 * #7(2016)* #8(nerdiversary) * #9 * 10(animal) * Battle Log * 11(2017) * 12(garden) * 13 * 14(biking) * 15 * 16  * 17  * 18 * 19(2018) * 20(2019) * 21

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