For the days you don't feel fit to be seen...

[Evicious]

 

I was going to post this under the Women's Specific Training, but then I figured it's a human thing to fear negative judgement, not just a female thing. So yeah, the last line specifies women, but if y'all could just cross that part out in your heads and read it as "Pretty is not the rent you pay to exist in the world", that'd be perfect.

 

I'm posting this because it's become a sort of mantra for me. It's what runs through my head now when I wake up feeling gross from bad diet choices (or hormones), and I can't seem to find any gym clothes that will hide my suddenly enormous love handles. It's what runs through my head when I see that super-fit girl rocking a sports bra and leggings on the bench next to me, and even she doesn't seem like enough to distract people from the train wreck that is me. It's what runs through my head on the weekend when I haven't gone grocery shopping yet, and I sincerely believe I could clear every aisle even if I wore a paper bag over my head.

It's what runs through my head every time I feel even the slightest bit insecure about my appearance, and it's the most empowering thought I have.

And it's helped me confront my own judgmental attitude as well. It reminds me that how a person looks doesn't dictate who they are. It reminds me of my days when I decided I didn't give a fuck what people thought about my appearance, and how much shit I managed to accomplish in the same amount of time it would've taken me to "make myself presentable". It reminds me that I have no idea who that person is, or what's going on in their lives, or how much effort it may be taking for them to even do what they're currently doing. It reminds me that they have every right to go about their lives, and that I have no reason to concern myself with them other than to acknowledge their existence and continue with my own.

So the next time you feel "too fat", or "too ugly", or "too old", or "too anything-based-solely-on-how-you-think-you-look", remember this: You are under no obligation to look pretty. Your only obligation is to take care of yourself. So go to the gym; eat your vegetables (and your ice cream!); get outside and soak up some sunshine; drink water, and get the rest you need and deserve. Do the things that benefit you, regardless of how you think anyone may judge you for it. It's your life. You have the right to exist just as you are, right now, no matter what you "look like".

Pretty is not the rent you pay to exist.

[Guzzi]

Amen to that. 

[Guzzi]

You missed out the bit about when you are meant to be going out (to a restaurant, a party, whatever) and you've tried on seven different outfits but you just look fat and ugly in every one so you end up going in jeans and a baggy jumper because at least then you've *chosen* to look awful and people don't look at you with pity because you tried to look nice but failed so spectacularly. 

 

Or is that just me? 

[Evicious]

7 minutes ago, Guzzi said:

You missed out the bit about when you are meant to be going out (to a restaurant, a party, whatever) and you've tried on seven different outfits but you just look fat and ugly in every one so you end up going in jeans and a baggy jumper because at least then you've *chosen* to look awful and people don't look at you with pity because you tried to look nice but failed so spectacularly. 

 

Or is that just me? 

 

Nope, definitely not just you. I've done the exact same thing many, many times.

[Raincloak]

I never understood catty people who think the sight of a less attractive body is somehow a personal offense to them.  Like, so what if there's a hairy fat guy going around shirtless?  Why do you even care?  The wincing and head shaking and calls for eye bleach, I just don't get it.  Let the guy get some fresh air like everybody else.

 

I have been told my body is a good looking one, it's got all the parts attached in the right places and the proportions are suitable, though hardly magazine material.  (I would have made a terrific '50s pinup girl.  Too bad the models are androgynous twigs nowadays.)  But I go around in jeans and sneakers most days because that's what's comfortable.  Also most days I don't wanna deal with attention from hopeful males.  I can get dressed up if I feel like it.  But if I don't feel like it, the world can deal with my sparkling personality in jeans and sneakers.

 

 

[Evicious]

2 hours ago, Raincloak said:

I can get dressed up if I feel like it.  But if I don't feel like it, the world can deal with my sparkling personality in jeans and sneakers.

 

Love this ^^^ <3

[Wobbegong]

Most of the time, I tend to wander around in jeans and hoodies, because they're so comfortable, and I'm lucky enough to work in a casual environment as far as wardrobe goes. Every once in a while, I suddenly want to feel girly, so I put on a skirt (and wear running leggings underneath). I wear toe shoes out and about, including to the office, more often than not -- and there's not a lot of footwear more awkward and less attractive than VFFs. Except maybe Crocs. 

 

Even though from a health perspective (and from the measurements on my tape) I know I'm larger than I want to be, I don't really think of myself as fat. I wear skinny jeans if I feel like it. I wear foundation and fill in my eyebrows pretty much daily, but rarely wear eye makeup or lip color. What makeup I do wear is for me; for my self-confidence and my pleasure. It is, after all, my face. Likewise, the clothing I wear is for my comfort and my sense of style, not that of the onlooker. 

 

But I appreciate the mantra. It's always good to add another note to the feminist archive, and catchy ones are easiest to remember. I'll put "pretty is not the rent you pay to exist" right up there with "you have a right to exist in public spaces" and "my outfit is not an invitation." (Although I'm not very good at this last one when it comes to my shoes. People walk up to me on the regular to ask about them. Seriously, if you want practice talking to random strangers, wear toe shoes.)