I have confidence in confidence...

[kevlar_from_kanada]

...but not always confidence in me

 

Well that is partially untrue.  I am very blessed to have wonderful friends and family.  I am getting a PhD.  I play in a band (and am shamelessly quoting the Sound of Music in my title).  I have a wonderful dog named Dougie to walk me.  However, when it comes to nutrition, fitness and how I feel about myself and my body I still have room to grow.  

 

I am a 31 year old male who has been overweight (and sometimes even obese) for my whole adult life.  I have generally shied away from any physical activity.   I am a complete and unapologetic nerd.  Maybe not the gamer type (I am too busy reading books about math, history and economics).  I also use Linux, which is probably not a necessary, but definitely sufficient condition for nerd-dom.   I am a Toronto Maple Leafs fan (very die hard!).  I love to talk about music.  I love learning new things (but somehow diet and fitness has escaped my interests?).  I am currently reading "A Brief History of Time" by Stephen Hawking.  I also got a lot out of "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey.  That was instrumental in getting me to join here.  

 

In the last year I have been making some incremental changes to my life, but I am somewhat stalled.  I will start by listing some the changes I have made and their payoffs (I am an economist so I like measurables):

• Last New Years (start of 2016) I promised myself I would join an intramural league and start a band.  I did both those things.  I have actually played intramural volleyball, all sorts of sports, floor hockey and archery tag since then.  Last week my band played our first headlining gig.  
• Last summer I found out my cholesterol was high.  I decided to lose weight.  Some early changes I made were cutting out soda, chips, fast food.  I have lapsed a bunch, but for the most part seriously scaled this stuff back.  I was 246 lbs last July and just weighed myself at 204 lbs yesterday.

 

Since the most recent New Year I have doubled down my efforts at fitness and feeling better overall.  I have actually already used a lot of resources from this website, including the home workouts and some of the recipes.  However, I got brave and went into my school gym the other day and didn't even know where to begin!!!  I was so out of my comfort zone.  As well, being around people that work out regularly made me feel very ashamed of my body and completely discount the progress I had made.  The sober realization is that I still have some ways to go; so I took the plunge and signed up.  

 

I had some initial motivations for committing myself to "looking" better (My sister is getting married and I am the MC.  Having my heart broken).  However, I did some of the exercises in the mindset section and I thought it may be helpful to share my bigger "why's" for getting in shape:

• To develop self confidence, a sense of pride and to believe in myself.
• To manage my mental health.
• To live as long as possible and to have the stamina to do awesome things that I used to love (like canoe trips, hockey and maybe some new things?)
• To overcome fears and build resilience.  
• To be an example for my family and friends.
• To improve my confidence with women.

 

In terms of goals, I will try to measure them in terms of things I can do and wear.  I have some old clothes that I used to love that finally fit, though a bit tight.  I also want to be able to do a pull up and a chin up and am working towards this.  When I do push-ups I use my knees and would like to be able to do 3 sets of regular push-ups.

 

I plan on hanging out on these forums as I learn over the coming months so I look forward to getting to know you.  I am in Ontario, Canada so Eastern Standard Time (and we just lost an hour!!).

 

Cheers,

 

Kevin

 

P.S. Sorry this was so long.  I guess I am quite excited to be here?

 

 

 

[Bean Sidhe]

Kevin

Welcome. It sounds like you have some great goals in place and have already been working towards them. I am sure you are on the right track. Do not be at all ashamed of a long intro (you should of seen mine), and it is a good thing. You have goals and reasons to do things. So which piece are you working on doing first, the pull ups or the pushups, or both for that matter?

[kevlar_from_kanada]

4 hours ago, Bean Sidhe said:

Kevin

Welcome. It sounds like you have some great goals in place and have already been working towards them. I am sure you are on the right track. Do not be at all ashamed of a long intro (you should of seen mine), and it is a good thing. You have goals and reasons to do things. So which piece are you working on doing first, the pull ups or the pushups, or both for that matter?

 

Hi Bean,

 

I actually went over and read your introduction.  Sounds like you have had some challenges but are committed to getting on the right track.  I have my own ups and downs too (which is why mental health is one of my motivations!).  I tend to be a bit of an all or nothing type of person.  Unfortunately these things don't happen overnight.  It is sad that your family isn't more supportive, but we don't choose our family.  I am sure your husband will appreciate if you have more energy and maybe he will become better at being supportive over time?  As a guy, I can say that sometimes we don't know how to be supportive even though we want to be.  Maybe you can train him

 

I have actually been doing variations on the bodyweight workout that is provided in the free resources.  I started from the Beginner one and am adding some elements of the harder one slowly.  This involves doing squats, lunges, dumbell rows, planks, pushups and I add some attempts at the pull up bar to this.  I think when I can do the advanced bodyweight workout consistently I will look into going to a gym.  I am very tentative about that now as it just gives me anxiety and I don't end up really working out anyway.  

 

Thanks for the warm welcome,

 

Kevin

[HappyDragon]

Welcome, and congratulations on the progress you've already made!

[Bean Sidhe]

20 hours ago, kevlar_from_kanada said:

 

Hi Bean,

 

I actually went over and read your introduction.  Sounds like you have had some challenges but are committed to getting on the right track.  I have my own ups and downs too (which is why mental health is one of my motivations!).  I tend to be a bit of an all or nothing type of person.  Unfortunately these things don't happen overnight.  It is sad that your family isn't more supportive, but we don't choose our family.  I am sure your husband will appreciate if you have more energy and maybe he will become better at being supportive over time?  As a guy, I can say that sometimes we don't know how to be supportive even though we want to be.  Maybe you can train him

 

I have actually been doing variations on the bodyweight workout that is provided in the free resources.  I started from the Beginner one and am adding some elements of the harder one slowly.  This involves doing squats, lunges, dumbell rows, planks, pushups and I add some attempts at the pull up bar to this.  I think when I can do the advanced bodyweight workout consistently I will look into going to a gym.  I am very tentative about that now as it just gives me anxiety and I don't end up really working out anyway.  

 

 

Kevin

Thank you for the support. My husband does try, but he also sees me stressed and trying to juggle things and he thinks he is helping. I have told him I need him to be the Jerk and make me get on the treadmill, but that only works if his "BUt shes is tired, she is stressed" doesn't win out. I am going though. I got on the treadmill the last 2 nights. Not for very long but for something. I have chosen family, the ones I have chosen to be around. Sadly, most of them live a good 3 hours away and cannot help keep me on track. They try too, but its harder when you only get emails every few days. But I also know that they have my family and my back if we need them. That helps more.

I agree on the gym. I once won a free membership to like a golds gym (back when I was much much heavier) and I felt very judged. It probably wasn't, but it was too hard on my nerves at that time. I don't know if I will ever get to that point anytime soon. Right now, I still have a hard time with my kids or husband seeing me plank. Its just feels weird, so I have kicked my husband out of the room once or twice so I can do a few things. But I am sure once you level up a bit more, you will feel more confident and then the gym won't be such a scary place.