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iatetheyeti: The Calm Before the Cataclysm


iatetheyeti

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I have the same problem with meditation. My brain doesn't know how to shut up and it's hard to keep pulling up back to the present and quiet it down. I did the Headspace take 10 program and I found that worked quite well. 

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13 hours ago, Charlie_Quinn said:

I have the same problem with meditation. My brain doesn't know how to shut up and it's hard to keep pulling up back to the present and quiet it down. I did the Headspace take 10 program and I found that worked quite well. 

 

I've considered the Headspace app before, but I can't really justify another monthly expense right now. Maybe when I'm settled across the country I can re-evaluate and see, because I've heard nothing but good reviews and would like to give it a try.

 

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"The old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring."

 

 

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It is not even 6am yet and here I am, ready to start a full nine hour shift a mere handful of hours after I closed down the deli last night. It didn't really go well. Sure, there were three of us on, but it was just me for two counters and two people in for fresh prep, one of which was a trainee we had to try very hard to get to do anything at all.

 

On the plus side, the transfer letter is in, my landlord has acknowledged my notice, and I have at least one definite viewing for next week with two pending. Bus tickets weren't booked because I plain forgot, and train tickets weren't booked because when I went in to do so, I was informed their system had frozen and crashed. I think the woman behind the counter expected my to be pissed off, given how she acted, but these things happen, and I'm not about to blame her for something that isn't her fault, so I said I'd come back after work today.

 

Bonus points if I can find my rail card...

 

Aim for the day is to survive and thrive as best I can. I've got a lunch, so I'll have a chance to sit down, crack open a book, and have a proper feed. I've also got no need for a ridiculously early start tomorrow, which means I can take advantage of my evening off tonight (and hope the neighbours decide they don't feel like partying...). The only major things I plan to do today are to book tickets and reply to house hunting related emails.

 

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"The old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring."

 

 

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1 hour ago, iatetheyeti said:

 

I've considered the Headspace app before, but I can't really justify another monthly expense right now. Maybe when I'm settled across the country I can re-evaluate and see, because I've heard nothing but good reviews and would like to give it a try.

 

 

Oh I didn't pay for the monthly service, it's ridiculously expensive! I just did the free course on the app that's free to download. It's not a long course, but if you are struggling to get used to meditation, it's quite helpful. 

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On 3/16/2017 at 1:31 AM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Stockholm Syndrome.

I agree. I did the Fenway Spartan in 2014, and it was pretty cool. Which one are you doing? 

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Let me know how the meditation goes! Remember that five minutes a day is way better than an hour once a week. It's about practice and the habit of it all, not the SUCCESS & STAMINA & POINTS & SKILLZZ!! (I am a former Ranger, can you tell?).

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11 hours ago, Charlie_Quinn said:

 

Oh I didn't pay for the monthly service, it's ridiculously expensive! I just did the free course on the app that's free to download. It's not a long course, but if you are struggling to get used to meditation, it's quite helpful. 

 

And now I'm gonna go hunt down the freebie course :D 

 

 

9 hours ago, Muir said:

 

Bet that's one thing you won't miss when you move!

 

Not at all. I'm just hoping I get better neighbours, not worse ones!

 

 

5 hours ago, Heidi ☯ said:

I agree. I did the Fenway Spartan in 2014, and it was pretty cool. Which one are you doing? 

 

I'm doing the Edinburgh Sprint later this year. Figured I'd start small!

 

 

5 hours ago, Heidi ☯ said:

Let me know how the meditation goes! Remember that five minutes a day is way better than an hour once a week. It's about practice and the habit of it all, not the SUCCESS & STAMINA & POINTS & SKILLZZ!! (I am a former Ranger, can you tell?).

 

Heh, once a Ranger, always a Ranger, like Tank says :D

 

I'm going to try again tonight with all of this in mind, see how it goes, and update on progress in the morning.

 

 

 

 

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"The old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring."

 

 

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Late this morning despite actually getting up almost on time. Laptop decided it was an opportune moment to update and restart itself...

 

Yesterday was something of a struggle, and I'm expecting tonight to be the same. Having the same person constantly shoulder the load of two or more people (with little training, relying on improvisation and guesswork) and all the customer ire that comes with it, well, that doesn't lead to good things. I'm having to make a habit of saying this to the CO every time I work with her, even though she's quite dismissive of the whole thing.

 

And yet there are positive things happening at work. The transfer that I was told would take forever to put through was sent off only a day after I put in my letter, which means now it is just a case of waiting for replies (and for those replies to be passed on). I'd like to think that when I'm done with my week off I'll have at least a rough idea of where I stand with it all.

 

The feet are getting better too, and the pains caused by being forced to walk so awkwardly are dying down, which sets me up nicely for tomorrow's official start!

 

I attempted to meditate again last night. I sat myself in my bed, back up against the wall, and tried to focus on my breathing and nothing else. I allowed for the fact that it would take some time for my mind to calm itself enough to be receptive to such a tuning out, but it was still a struggle. Every time I managed to push everything else out, a thought would pop out of nowhere and set of a kind of chain reaction. It's frustrating, and trying to meditate when you're exhausted seems to invite sleep more than it does calmness. I think tomorrow after work I might do some more research on the subject, see what I can dig up.

 

Today my only plan is to get in a half decent feed before my long, long back shift.

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From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring."

 

 

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Found you and I'm following!

 

I am so glad you got your transfer notice in. You need to get out of that place. Hopefully, your next store will be a fairer and you know, actually adhere to health and safety laws. 

 

The meditation sounds like a really good plan. Hope it helps you keep a lid on your stress. Well, that and the burpees, of course! ;) 

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16 hours ago, iatetheyeti said:

I attempted to meditate again last night. I sat myself in my bed, back up against the wall, and tried to focus on my breathing and nothing else. I allowed for the fact that it would take some time for my mind to calm itself enough to be receptive to such a tuning out, but it was still a struggle. Every time I managed to push everything else out, a thought would pop out of nowhere and set of a kind of chain reaction. It's frustrating, and trying to meditate when you're exhausted seems to invite sleep more than it does calmness. I think tomorrow after work I might do some more research on the subject, see what I can dig up.

That's exactly how meditation works, especially in the beginning. 

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20 hours ago, Rhovaniel said:

Found you and I'm following!

 

I am so glad you got your transfer notice in. You need to get out of that place. Hopefully, your next store will be a fairer and you know, actually adhere to health and safety laws. 

 

The meditation sounds like a really good plan. Hope it helps you keep a lid on your stress. Well, that and the burpees, of course! ;) 

 

I hear there are indeed some magical places that actually understand that they need to follow health and safety laws, and I also hear that a few of the Edinburgh stores are such places. As it stands, I've got four stores on my list of possible transfers, all in areas known to be good.

 

Heh, of course, 'cause burpees are all the stress relief you'd need!

 

 

18 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

That's exactly how meditation works, especially in the beginning. 

 

Then I'll keep fighting until I reach the calm, I guess.

 

 

14 hours ago, obax said:

Ack, I accidentally unfollowed your thread! So sorry!!

 

Sounds like things are moving along nicely for the move, which is good. Hopefully the store you end up at after the move is a little less.... um, well, shitty, to put it plainly, than the one you're at now.

 

I really hope so, especially in the light of recent events. If ever a clean, fresh start was needed, it's now.

 

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"The old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring."

 

 

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Want to be Happy? Be Thankful!

Also, meditation and gratitude are linked -- the more you can change your perspective for one, the easier the other gets.

Join the Druid's Gratitude Mini-Challenge! 

All Classes and Personalities Welcome, even you! :) 

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On 3/17/2017 at 2:51 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

You still are a Ranger, you're just on an extended mission to the Druids.

You're absolutely right, @Tanktimus the Encourager, of course. But the problem is I might have been all distracting myself with the Ranger-ness of it all. :)

Confession: My aim with my bow got worlds better once I got in touch with my breathing!

 

So when are you coming over to play with us?

Want to join us for our gratitude mini-challenge

 

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Have you tried Calm.com? It's free, and there's even a guided Meditation that you can use to help you get your mind in the right place. Worked for me!

 

Oh yeah, and i'm following you :P

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8 hours ago, Red1263 said:

Have you tried Calm.com? It's free, and there's even a guided Meditation that you can use to help you get your mind in the right place. Worked for me!

 

Oh yeah, and i'm following you :P

 

:D

 

Calm.com is not on my list of things to check out tonight, thanks!

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"The old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring."

 

 

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Declutter: Not really so relevant today given that I’m hotel-bound for a few days. Instead I’m going to aim for keeping the room nice and neat, ensuring I have space to work out and work at the desk as needed.

Stretching: Missed my morning stretches, but I think I made up for it by doing in-between train stretches. Two of the three I got today were a little on the cramped side so stretching after was a must.

Burpees: Will be done during workout.

Walk: A mile from my home to the train station, and about a mile and a half from the station here to the hotel.

 

Social: Here I am, doing the social thing! Will catch up with threads after posting.

Stress relief: During yesterday’s trip to Inverness I obtained what I feel is an important purchase: The Little Book of Calm Colouring. So far, I’d say it was a worthwhile purchase. It’s even got a little quote to go with every image, and the one opposite the colouring I’m working on at the moment reads “Minds are like parachutes. They only function when open.” It’s particularly pertinent to me just now for many reasons.

 

Babble

I deliberately missed tracking the first couple of days of this challenge as that in itself was stressing me out, but I do have a couple of brief overviews:

 

SUNDAY

Work day. Started off well, but went rapidly downhill due to an issue I don’t particularly want to discuss out in the open. Safe to say it soured my mood, though I tried to hold on to the good mood I’d had in the beginning. Did not have a constructive evening.

 

MONDAY

Stress everywhere. Had to go into Inverness to speak to the bank, again for reasons I will not be discussing out in the open. What I will say is that I came out of it with positive results. The woman I spoke to was brilliant, and admittedly some of her good cheer rubbed off on me and I left that meeting happier and more confident than I’d been going in. Did have a productive evening after that.

 

TODAY

The big travel day. Was not loving life when I woke up, nor was I particularly happy to walk through the beginnings of a blizzard to get to the train station. It was cold, to state the obvious. However, I made the first train on time and it was warm inside, so I got myself comfortable and pulled out my book (finally on the last one of the Malazan Book of the Fallen and I will be genuinely upset when I finish it, it’s the best series I’ve read in a long time).

 

And then there was snow.

 

Spoilered because I have a lot of feelings about this. Just as well I had my notepad on the train!

 

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It got steadily whiter the further south we travelled. In Spean Bridge and Roy Bridge the ground was covered and there was a flurry in the air, enough to make people draw their hoods up tight and scurry from shelter to shelter.

 

Passing through Corrour and Rannoch Moor was something of an ethereal experience. Even at the height of summer the landscape is fairly bland, heather and grass as far as the eye can see, broken up by bogs and trickling streams. During most of winter it is downright miserable, a grey landscape laid low by flooded marshland and endless rain.

 

And a couple of times a year it transforms into another world.

 

On one side white cloaked moorland is broken up only by the black sheen of sodden rock, the grey surfaces of iced over bogs, and the dark tracks cut by streams bloated by melt water. The landscape climbs slowly upwards, becoming imposing hills framed against a steel sky, waiting for the next blizzard to roll in. On the other side there is just white. An occasional fence post rises from the depths of the snow for a solitary salute, but otherwise the ground is buried and there is no horizon. Moor and sky are as one.

 

Eventually the moor passes and the forest begins, full of trees bowing low under the weight of snow on their branches. It’s a black and white landscape, motionless but for the stirring of air the train creates on the way through.

 

When viewed from behind glass, it requires a particular kind of soundtrack. Rolling drums for the mountains rising towards the sky, piano for the snow playing across the land, violins to give voice the wind. It needs a voice capable of matching, but never overpowering, the majesty of a Highland winter, for a Highland winter has a voice of its own, and in nature it uses it.

 

It’s weather I both love and hate to be out in. Cold is unforgiving and persistent. Cold makes you fight for every harshly drawn breath and every quick beat of the heart. Cold pushes back, whispers doubt, leeches will. Hiking in the snow requires a special kind of commitment. It isn’t about the pretty view, not once your boots are wet, there’s somehow snow in your bra, and the wind has found every weakness in your jacket and trousers.

 

Hiking in the snow is about achievement. It’s about measuring yourself against nature and deciding that you will come out on top, that you will win. It’s about dedicating yourself to a goal. Sure, there might be a view included, but that’s only half of the mission. You have to get back again, and after stopping, allowing the cold to catch up, it becomes the hardest thing to do.

 

The trick is doing it and then being glad that you did.

 

I can only recall having that particular feeling once.

 

I don’t have the willpower to undertake a serious snow hike. It’s something I aspire to.

 

As it stands, mostly interacting with snow brings a sour mood. As the mountains descended to become hills and the hills vanished into flat farmland harried by frantic squalls of snow, dread crept up. The second train getting into the station late added to it, as I’d missed the next one, and following one was delayed significantly. And there I stood in the snow, feeling less and less of my face as the time ticked on.

 

The last train journey was a fight to stay warm, dread rising with time the doors opened, admitting a chill that sapped every bit of heat built up. The last leg of the journey as a whole was worse. Slush underfoot and a blizzard all around, head bowed under the scant protection of two hoods, face lashed with snow. Being blind does contribute to getting lost, but only twice.

 

 

So here I am, in a fantastically warm room with a bed that doesn’t zip together in the middle and the prospect of two confirmed viewings. The third one, the one that was supposed to happen today, is apparently not happening. There’s radio silence from the person in question, which is not an encouraging sign.

 

Still, it’s one hitch in a trip that is, so far, running smoothly. I’ve got myself a little workspace set up, a space to exercise, and all the time I need to plan and relax and let go a little bit. I’m closing out one chapter of my life and starting on another, and while I’m close enough to taste it and to fully realise what it means, I don’t want to lose my head over it.


 

Plan for tomorrow is the usual. 8am wake up, post by 8:30am. Hopefully by then I’ll have some clue as to what I’m doing for the first part of the day as they first viewing is at 2pm and the other at 5pm.

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"The old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring."

 

 

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I like what you wrote about he moors. Ever since I read Hound of the Baskervilles I've wanted to go to a place that's officially called a moor, the descriptions in the story always struck me as being a beautifully desolate place, and that's kind of what I get from your description too.

 

Here's hopin' your trip is a fruitful one! Good luck with the house hunting!

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Meditation: Meant to check out Calm.com, ended up doing my usual in an effort to calm my anger and get to sleep.

Sleep: Surprisingly well! Initially I worried, new bed in a new location and all that, plus the ‘noisy’ style of bedding used, and the ass over the corridor. But I drifted off relatively quickly and only woke up a couple of times, and as it happens, waking up in a warm room as opposed to a freezer means I do in fact get out of bed more quickly.

 

Social: Could have been better, but that’ll change today. I have no choice but to be social, and to be adept if I want to talk anyone into giving me somewhere to live!

Stress relief: Did spend a bit of time with the colouring book last night. I’m actually amazed at how relaxing it is.

 

Babble

 

 

It’s amazing that I leave behind noisy neighbours, cross the country, and end up in a hotel with noisy folks opposite me. I could hear their TV from across the hall… That was the cause of the anger mentioned earlier, but I did manage to meditate most of it away. Enough so that I could stick to my 10:30pm bed time and drift off not long afterwards.

 

I can’t get over the heat. It was snowing yesterday, it’s soggy today, and rather than being layered up and wrapped in a blanket as I type this, I’m sitting here in jeans a t-shirt. I mean, I know that’s how heating works and all that, but it’s still amazing to me after two years of not having it! Believe me when I say heating factors strongly into questions I’ll be asking at these viewings…

 

Plan for today is to feed up, then head into town a couple of hours early. I’ll try my luck with the bus in order to save time, and I’ll have a little poke around the place before the first viewing. If all goes well, I imagine I might be back here around 7pm, give or take.

 

(in other news, forum gremlins got at my post :( Re-did it, but now everything must be in bold, apparently! It won't let me change it...)

 

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"The old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring."

 

 

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5 hours ago, obax said:

I like what you wrote about he moors. Ever since I read Hound of the Baskervilles I've wanted to go to a place that's officially called a moor, the descriptions in the story always struck me as being a beautifully desolate place, and that's kind of what I get from your description too.

 

Here's hopin' your trip is a fruitful one! Good luck with the house hunting!

 

Most of the time Rannoch Moor is just plain desolate, but in the snow it really is something to see. I'm reasonably sure Dartmoor is the better of the pair in summer though!

 

Thanks! Trying to cram in a little last minute research before I go and do the thing, but otherwise I'm feeling unusually optimistic about the whole thing.

"The old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring."

 

 

Yeti on Flickr - Facebook - Instagram

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Declutter: Hotel room is still tidy, and I’ve done a little financial decluttering as well, so I’d like to think that counts for something!

Stretching: Got my morning stretches in, and I seriously needed them. Evening stretches will be done if only because I don’t want to wake up to that again...

Burpees: Giving myself a pass on that today as I am exhausted.

Walk: Eight miles in total, according to Google maps. Decided against a bus in the morning, walked into town, picked up a coffee, and continued on to the largest park within a reasonable distance. Wandered around for a while after that, then went up for viewing number one, then wandered around some more before viewing number two. Then got a bus partway back and walked the rest.

 

Social: Yes! Resounding success today. Made my morning post here, spoke to a few randomers in town, and managed to push out the small talk boat just a little bit further than I usually would during viewing number two.

Stress relief: Reading, walking, dog-watching at the park.

 

Babble

I’m in an absurdly good mood right now even though I had to walk half a mile in ice rain to get back here.

 

My walk into town was pleasant, warm even, and I did it quicker than Google said I would. Found a Costa in relatively short time, got myself some coffee from a delightfully happy barista, and set out for Pittencrief Park to destress before viewing number one.

 

It was definitely worth it. Spent a little while walking through the woods admiring the trees (...everyone has different hobbies, I just so happen to love trees…), then headed towards the centre of the park and took a bench for a while, watching the dog walkers. One lab decided to come up and say hello to me (+10 Mood Boost!).

 

Now, after that I did come out at a place different to what I’d been aiming for, and because all I had was Google Maps it took me a while to figure out where the hell I’d ended up. While my phone has developed the ability to tell if I’m at a transport hub, it somehow isn’t able to determine my location at any other time, and it wouldn’t switch to earth view so I couldn’t even use that to get a feel for where I was.

 

Obviously I did get un-lost eventually! Wandered up to scout out the area around where I’d be viewing, did a few laps to get a feel for the area, then went on in for number one. Found it easily, knocked at the door, got no answer. Repeated the process until a construction worker popped out, surprised to see me. Five minutes later another guy comes wandering over and it turns out he had just been sitting in his car (around the corner) waiting for me. I’m sure there was some logic in there somewhere…

 

Still, it was a nice place, a very nice place, and it did set the bar quite high.

 

After that I wandered back into town, this time in search of something to kill my sudden crippling headaches. Spent a while window shopping, then circled back up for viewing number two, which was only a few streets over from the first.

 

And then I couldn’t find the place.

 

At first I got confused because at one point it went from number nine to number fifteen (not the actual numbers!), and when I gathered up the courage to do a little investigating around the back I found a whole slew of places with the exact number I was looking for, each with a letter after. Surprise surprise, I found every letter but the one I was looking for. So I plodded out front and tried to call the agent. Closed. Just as I was gathering up my courage to knock on a nearby door and ask someone, the person actually living there came out to meet me. Evidently she’d seen me wandering around with a stumped expression.

 

Bad start aside, the second viewing went really well, and tomorrow morning I’m going to phone up and start the application process. It’s well over £100 cheaper than my current rent, and even with council tax and bills factored in it’s cheaper. It is smaller than number one (smaller than my current place too), but there was a surprise mini-room that wasn’t in the ad which is plenty big enough to work with. The whole space is flexible, the prices are good, and the plumbing and heating work just fine. Therefore I’m jumping on it. If I get it, fantastic. If not, it’s not the end of the world.

 

Also heard from work today. Someone from the Dunfermline branch was in touch asking if I’d be willing to work on meat and fish, or if I just wanted to stick to the deli or shop floor I’d said in the letter. I said I would, and hopefully I’ll hear back again soon. It’s good news, it means that there is space for me, and there is potential for me to really expand my hours (and skill set, apparently!) officially.

 

All in all, things are going well, and I’d say I’ve earned the night off I’ve given myself! My only plans are to read, have a poke around Calm.com, and do my stretches.

 

Plan for tomorrow is the usual 8am up, post by 8:30am.

  • Like 4

"The old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring."

 

 

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