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Glass

Glass no. 22 - side effects

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"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all." -Helen Keller, badass

 

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What if success, happiness, connection, relationships, and life meaning were all side effects instead of the end goal? Like just working on your craft and stepping outside of your comfort zone was fulfilling in itself, that journey and daily accomplishment of it was the meaning of life, and all those things that I and everyone thinks they want were just the byproducts of that effort?

 

That would be beautiful, to call all those wants just side effects. As if they weren't the most important things in the world. As if they would just naturally happen and opportunities would naturally happen, all just from working on your craft. First seemingly impossible. then slowly turning into improbable. then unlikely. then maybe. then possible. then probably. then inevitable.

 

That idea is gorgeous to me..... side effects. Would also be a cool band name.

--

 

Craft no. 1: SOCIAL

-Weekly Goals- Read one book, read one blog, watch one movie, big brother outing and prep

1) Read: books

-"Taipei"

-"Modern Romance"

-"The life-changing magic of not giving a f*ck"

2) Read: bookmarked blogs

-Mark manson

-Steve Pavlina

-Wait but why?

3) Watch: movie list

-Brothers Karamazov

-Gladiator

-Dead Poets Society

-Lalaland

4) Big brother program outing and/or prep

 

-Projects on days off-

5) Finish better profile pics, research

6) Learn Chinese in preparation for trip

7) Finish cleaning shoes and leather stuff

8) Finish AOC consolidation

 

-Future projects-

9) Look into taking a dancing class/watching videos

10) Look into community service opportunities on cape 

11) Look into finding a life mentor? 

12) Look into adopting a cat in june/july

13) Look into rx ce for 2017

 

 

Craft no. 2: GUITAR

Burning Desire: open mic on second tuesdays and first fridays, prepping for singing class recital, jamming with friends

-Weekly Goals- Take one guitar lesson, watch one AUG lesson, learn one open mic song, learn one band song

1) Play: scotty guitar lesson

2) Learn: AUG course

3) Play: songbook for open mic

-Things are Changin'

-Flume

-I'm In Love

-Last Christmas

4) Play: Jam songs with Enoch

-Just Give me a Reason

-Thinking out loud

-Whattya want from me

-Simple, starving to be safe

 

-Projects on days off-

5) Practice Singing class songs

6) Finish learning how to use ebow

7) Finish learning how to use new effects pedals

8) Practice scales and scale charts

 

-Future projects-

9) Look into your singing links, mechanics until unconscious

10) Ear training 

11) Rocksmith skill games

 

 

Craft no. 3: JIU-JITSU

-Weekly Goals-

1) Play: Jiujitsu/kickboxing classes

2) Play: NF rings/handstands course 

3) Watch: Grapplearts/GU online lessons/practice in home dojo 

 

-Projects on days off-

4) Finish consolidating coach.me yoga course/nf yoga, go to yoga class

 

-Future projects-

5) Look into practicing jiujitsu techniques in home dojo, reading Jiujitsu University 

6) Look into learning Alexanders technique, Crossfit

7) Look into learning how to swim better

 

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3-12.

-Sunday funday. Except at work. 7am-9pm because my night pharmacist forgot she was working x_x So I stayed while she hurriedly drove back from Boston. Then I just go home and sleep hahaah. Every 3 weekends is a lost weekend, just work and keep up with cleaning and organizing, pretty much. No time for working on passions. But thats okay, because the following week I am off 5 of the 7 days. So it works out, I suppose. 

 

3-13.

-Big day today, sort of. Slept in late first, 3 hrs of jsut snoozing instead of workign on my craft. Its like, I understand that i need more sleep sometimes because I overwork or dont get enough, but then sleeping late makes it hard to get ready to sleep at 9 pm because I don't feel like I did that much that day, and then stay up later, and that makes me sleep later the next day instead of being active at 730 am. So maybe i should just force the 630am wake up even if tired if i got 7 hrs of sleep so I can get that time in, and then be tired in time so I can get a good nights sleep instead. Cut the loss and start being productive, rather than sleeping in and sabotaging productiveness and not feeling that much better sleepwise. or maybe like 1 hr, but not 3. I will allow 1 extra hour. 

-Went to morning BJJ class (always worht going) and then prepared for my tax appointment. Finally finished it, filed my taxes and waiting for a return in a few weeks! The price at h and r block was pretty high (i paid like 400+ dollars with rental properties but hopefully overall I made more money with the deductions saved and filing accurately). Then singing class in the evening. I performed the song okay, but I still was a little uncomfortable in that i couldn't look at people and thought negative things instead of being opena nd relaxed. Every time better I guess. I asked around and people seemed to say that my guitar playing was too loud to my voice without a microphone... Good to keep in mind...

-Then bought a new chromebook because I love them and my current one I'm typing on now is getting slower and one corner is tearing apart. Found a SICK deal on amazon for a google pixel chromebook that was originally $999 that I got for around $350. I know its the 2013 model, but its top of the line 2013 and definitely still better than the one I have now. So I'm excited for my new toy that should come in the next 4-10 days. Hopefully when I return from washington DC after this weekend. 

 

3-14.

-Snow day in! Just gonna buy a lot of food and chill at home. hahaha. Got off to a sluggish start, but finished my challenge review, read Modern Romance, and played around a little reading articles and trying dating apps. Its funny how much information and insight I can get from books, I just try to use it as soon as i can and be okay with uncertainty. Of course you're uncertain if you haven't done it much, and some great things come out of moving beyond your comfort zone.

-Its crazy to think that I'm gonna be on a flight and in dc in three days. It's like unbelieveable that humans can do that. So why am I procrastinating so much on researching and making sure I have the best time I can? Why do i hate trip planning so much?!? It feels the same as cooking. I know its good for me, I know the value, but I just hate thinking about it. Its just annoying and I want to get out. Wierd.

-I really procrastinate on plans fuck. Didn't do anything today, planning on doing it all tomorrow. 

-Watched some aug, then some gracie, then took a break. Good knowledge though.

-Watched Wristcutters: A Love story. Quirky indie film? It was interesting alright... sort of like a message to people who are thinking of it to imagine life again... road trip in an alternate universe, looking for something... romantic. In the end it just feels like we shoudl value second chances. As if we had made a deal when we were old, and what we expereince now is that second chance. What would you do with life if you believed that what you feel and experience in this moment now was the second chance that you had begged for?....

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8 hours ago, Glass said:

Brothers Karamazov

 

Now, if you read this book instead of watch the movie...that would be an adventure. It's hefty, but amazing.

 

And btw, so is your challenge. Following.

 

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13 hours ago, Wolfen said:

 

Now, if you read this book instead of watch the movie...that would be an adventure. It's hefty, but amazing.

 

And btw, so is your challenge. Following.

 

giphy.gif

 

I like your gifs! Thanks. I just need more time x_x

 

 

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On 3/15/2017 at 6:57 PM, MichiruSedai said:

Your challenge looks awesome!

 

Thank you :)

 

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3-15.

-Finally, some fcking research travel planning!!! :) Looked into what attractions I wanted to see, tickets, what times, the itinerary and route, and booked my car rental and drew some quick maps so I will have an easier time later. It's really hard to start for me, but once I get to work researching i get engrossed. Story of my life. 

-BJJ class, learning more about half guard, when you dont quite get full guard but don't get caught all the way into side position as well. First, always try to be on your side, and prevent being flattened onto your shoulder blades by preventing their underhook/getting yours on the far side, then blocking their bicep on the side they want to push you from. Then, try to shift weight so its under them and then its easier to push them up and off, or sweep if they commit too far into another direction. 

 

3-16.

-Woke up, packed, planned, and then work 12-9, and then drive home to boston and wake up early for my flight tmr am. It will be looong day. haha but good, adventure. 

 

3-17.

-Aeroplane over the states! 9 am I got into DC, and went crazy going to like ten different memorials; Lincoln, ww2, vietnam, korea, dc, mlk, fdr, jefferson, washington... A big visit for me was to the holocaust museum... No more jew jokes for me, even laughing at them and their stupidity. Also, just fascinating to see how political powers gain power, how one person can change so much, how having a say and being an intelligent and active citizen can really affect your country... hmmm lots to think about. Then rental car for the first time, driving in a brand new city to me... I was much more able than I thought. Met up with my cousins in California, MD, and had dinner. It was nice to see them. Sleep.

 

3-18.

-Met up with my other cousins, and we went back to DC to check out the white house, the international spy museum, and a little bit of the smithsonian art museum. Then fooood, taiwanese food so good :) I want to be less afraid of taking pictures.... I know I don't sometimes to stay in the moment but I shoudl try to get atleast one good picture and with significant people or in significant places or with significant things. Its just nice. Maybe a feeling or a thought, photograph them and don't be afraid to tell your party that you are taking a picture, then people just do it and its a thing and make people more social, like they are more in a group. Interesting.

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8 hours ago, Glass said:

BJJ class

 

I really need to get into one of these. Sounds awesome. My cousin was teaching me some basic self-defense/boxing moves, but he had to have hernia surgery...so...little speed bump in my training.

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On 3/13/2017 at 10:44 PM, Glass said:

What if success, happiness, connection, relationships, and life meaning were all side effects instead of the end goal?

 

That's all dependent on what you define as ideology.

 

On 3/13/2017 at 10:44 PM, Glass said:

So maybe i should just force the 630am wake up even if tired

 

I wake up at 5am every day.  It doesn't matter when I go to bed.  When I stick with that, my body naturally is like 'omg just go to sleep' when it's supposed to (between 9-10).

 

On 3/13/2017 at 10:44 PM, Glass said:

she hurriedly drove back from Boston

 

Oh damn, are you local? I live in Rhode Island.

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On 3/14/2017 at 3:44 AM, Glass said:

What if success, happiness, connection, relationships, and life meaning were all side effects instead of the end goal? Like just working on your craft and stepping outside of your comfort zone was fulfilling in itself, that journey and daily accomplishment of it was the meaning of life, and all those things that I and everyone thinks they want were just the byproducts of that effort?

 

That would be beautiful, to call all those wants just side effects. As if they weren't the most important things in the world. As if they would just naturally happen and opportunities would naturally happen, all just from working on your craft. First seemingly impossible. then slowly turning into improbable. then unlikely. then maybe. then possible. then probably. then inevitable.

 

That idea is gorgeous to me..... side effects.

I found this really interesting. And in some ways, it doesn't matter if it is like that or not. Stating something in a completely different way opens up avenues that didn't exist before. It breaks old patterns so you can see them and then ask yourself if you want to keep them or not.

 

Your whole challenge is interesting to me. How did you choose your terminology of crafts? And you use Play for things I've never quite seen play used for (not a criticism btw), how did you come to choose that?

 

I hope you have a great time in DC. :)

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On 3/16/2017 at 10:14 AM, Teros said:

 

That's all dependent on what you define as ideology.

 

 

I wake up at 5am every day.  It doesn't matter when I go to bed.  When I stick with that, my body naturally is like 'omg just go to sleep' when it's supposed to (between 9-10).

 

 

Oh damn, are you local? I live in Rhode Island.

 

Yea a cape codder B) Atleast for now (a year or two more) and originally from Boston suburbs.

 

On 3/19/2017 at 4:48 AM, Dagger said:

I found this really interesting. And in some ways, it doesn't matter if it is like that or not. Stating something in a completely different way opens up avenues that didn't exist before. It breaks old patterns so you can see them and then ask yourself if you want to keep them or not.

 

Your whole challenge is interesting to me. How did you choose your terminology of crafts? And you use Play for things I've never quite seen play used for (not a criticism btw), how did you come to choose that?

 

I hope you have a great time in DC. :)

 

Thanks, it was a blast. DC is dripping with history, I love that they place so much value in historical and political figures and I love the value of serving country and being the best you can be... I don't know if this character value is still in many of our politicians today..

 

Hahaha play is just an attitude that things should be carefree and fun, even if its not something like a game. Classes, experimentation, keeping it light. Basically, I tried a lot of things and found out what I wanted to do the most, what I was most interested in and what I thought would make me happiest and what I wanted the most. I came out with improving social skills, guitar skills, and jiujitsu skills. By this time all three crafts I think I'll be doing for atleast the rest of my life :)

 

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week one review.

-What did i accomplish this week with my hard work?

-Well, big trip to dc to see my cousins, see the capitol, and to see the cherry blossoms. New things for me include going on a weekend trip, visiting friends/family in another city by myself, renting a car. They all turned out positively, great for my confidence haha.

-Finally filed my taxes... can't wait for my returnnnnnnnn

-A wierd shift in thinking in my BJJ classes where I am now a semi-teacher and leading warmups... My teacher is actually encouraging me to take a leadership role there. Speak up and be more vocal, people want leadership and I am qualified to give it... Just a different feeling than what I am used to. I am a leader in my pharmacy so why couldn't I be a leader in my dojo? Just takes time to be more comfortable I suppose... I guess it's inevitable.

-Singing and playing in front of my singing class, valuable feedback on relative guitar/voice volume, keep that in consideration, as well as the dynamics of the room. Also, be more comfortable. And my pitch is getting better apparently. ear training and playing around with your keyboard will help a bit.

-Watched movie Wristcutters: A love story I like indie movies...

-Learned the value of research and planning for vacations. they literally make the trip so much better because you don't have to think, you don't have to stress as much when you are on the trip and you can just be in the beautiful moment that you have paid so much to be in. It's also a metaphor for life in general... dam deep

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3-19.

-Got breakfast and hung out with cousins, said my goodbyes (I feel like I'm getting better and better at these) and drove back to dc, and hung out at the airport a while before going back to Boston. Lots of flight delays >_> but finally got back. Got some reading done while waiting. 

 

3-20.

-Monday. Woke up, mom cooked for me, and drove back to work 11 hours lol. Then unpacked my new chromebook! its beautifull... a 2013 google pixel, top of the line in 2013 haha. but better than anything ive had. 

 

3-21.

-Slept extra because of all my deprivation, then another 11 hour work day and sleep.

 

3-22.

-Day started out slow. Tried out a new app called Curious, which is nice to learn new things. I'm not sure if it will add or subtract from what I want though. Because maybe it will add nice new ideas to my life, or it will add distraction and if its not something I love then it will just add clutter. I'll try it. Then cleaning a little, and then off to my guitar lesson, then hung out with my little brother in the big brother big sisters program. First time going to the ymca, I had to ask for directions and help in picking him up from the afterschool program there. He's pretty shy, when I was picking him up a bunch of his classmates looked at me, said hi, then started asking me who i was. When I said I was his big brother, they asked why we looked different... fcking kids xD They really seemed to understand it when i said it was "a program" like they were used to that. Cuties. Then, straight to jiujitsu class, more dishwashing and trash removal and laundry and food preparation and habits... About 1130pm now, waking up in 7 hours. I'll try to finish the rest of the habit updates and catch up from my weekend in dc tomorrow after work, luckily only a half shift.

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4 hours ago, Glass said:

Hahaha play is just an attitude that things should be carefree and fun, even if its not something like a game. Classes, experimentation, keeping it light. Basically, I tried a lot of things and found out what I wanted to do the most, what I was most interested in and what I thought would make me happiest and what I wanted the most. I came out with improving social skills, guitar skills, and jiujitsu skills. By this time all three crafts I think I'll be doing for atleast the rest of my life :)

 

Oh, I love this. Such a great attitude to approach everything as fun and carefree, or at least making sure you spend a lot of time on such things.

 

My writing teachers keep saying that you shouldn't call writing work, because work is something that is hard, something to struggle through, something to do because you need to. But writing is fun, or as he says: How can sitting by yourself and making up shit be work? Obviously you've found a way to implement that attitude.

 

I could learn by your example. :)

 

Writing is fun. And I want it as my profession because it is fun. Hmmm...

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14 hours ago, Glass said:

a cape codder

Enjoy some coffee milk and Michael's sour cream and onion chips while pahkin the cah.  :)

 

Digging the picture.

 

10 hours ago, Dagger said:

My writing teachers keep saying that you shouldn't call writing work, because work is something that is hard, something to struggle through, something to do because you need to.

 

I see writing as a compulsion.  It's not something I feel like I need to force myself to do.  Only if there's some sort of deadline do I start to resent the idea of writing.  Besides that, I sort of just go in bursts when I feel like it.

 

I do however, think that sometimes there is a block when starting writing.  I'll think that it might be daunting to put what's in my brain actually on paper.  Ever have a whole scene completely figured out and realize that, without writing it yet, it's going to take 3+ pages to explain it?  Kind of like that . I already created it in my head - starting to put it down might be seen as a chore.  Once I get into it though, I feel comfortable and don't feel that dragging feeling.

 

 

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On 3/23/2017 at 4:00 AM, Dagger said:

My writing teachers keep saying that you shouldn't call writing work, because work is something that is hard, something to struggle through, something to do because you need to. But writing is fun, or as he says: How can sitting by yourself and making up shit be work? Obviously you've found a way to implement that attitude.

 

I could learn by your example. :)

 

Writing is fun. And I want it as my profession because it is fun. Hmmm...

 

On 3/23/2017 at 2:28 PM, Teros said:

I see writing as a compulsion.  It's not something I feel like I need to force myself to do.  Only if there's some sort of deadline do I start to resent the idea of writing.  Besides that, I sort of just go in bursts when I feel like it.

 

I do however, think that sometimes there is a block when starting writing.  I'll think that it might be daunting to put what's in my brain actually on paper.  Ever have a whole scene completely figured out and realize that, without writing it yet, it's going to take 3+ pages to explain it?  Kind of like that . I already created it in my head - starting to put it down might be seen as a chore.  Once I get into it though, I feel comfortable and don't feel that dragging feeling.

 

 

 

I've encountered a few different mindsets about this topic too.

-There's the "all work is easy work" attitude which is kind of badass but it's a little unrealistic too... because some work is legit hard and it pushes you. And I think thats a good thing. Because "if work was easy then everyone would do it." In fact, maybe the value of hard work is that it is inherently hard. And that's a good thing. Not only to separate people who truly want it from people who kind of want it, but because being uncomfortable doing hard work and stepping outside of your comfort zone is good for you.

 

I am thinking that the value of hard work is that it is hard. Like exercise: its hard because I have to push myself, use energy, not be lazy. Its hard to start, but once I do it I find that it actually gives me more energy and I am happier and healthier, and have something to show for it: health/strength/vanity. I used that thinking and applied it to why it was so dam hard for me to do work like studying or meticulous practice... if its good for me and gives me more energy and I end up liking the burn and discomfort, then why cant i do it always?

 

Maybe it is more helpful for me to acknowledge that work is hard, but to understand the true value of it... because if I understand the true value of hard work, then I would LOVE hard work because of the value it brings to my life. I bought a souvenir coin at a museum during my trip to DC last weekend. It has lincoln's face on one side, and a quote from the Emancipation Proclamation declaring all slaves are to be free men on the other side... I touch it and then I feel like I can actually truly understand the value of hard work, if it brings value like that to the world and to my life.... When I think about the value of hard work and what it can give, I have no choice but to love hard work, even if it is hard. And this hard work might be writing or whatever you want in your life or in the world... 

 

Idk just some thoughts I've been thinking of lately haha

 

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3-23.

-Cafe after work, straightening out some lingering things I need to do for my job, organizing and catching up on habits, lots of reflections. Folded my clothes, took out the trash in my car and house, went over my movie list, watched the dave chappelle special on netflix, got ready for my license renewal tmr, wrote checks for dad, guitar lessons, and rent, washed dishes and ate, lots of little organizing things today. Still didn't get to calendars but that can be for another day...

 

3-24.

-Work in the am, then picked up rx supplies from other stores, and applied for a new driver's license, and hten friend came over and we played video games. Enter the Gungeon! its a sick game. beat the second level consistently but still can't beat the third level yet. Defensive midnset! Applies to any combat, virtual or real haha. Only once you learn defense can you attack from anywhere. Ate some pasta at a pasta restaurant, and then chilled. 

 

3-25.

-Woke up, and played guitar. We recorded ourselves, then critiqued and saw room for improvement. I always have a pissed off face hahah. Resting bitch face. Oops. I guess its my concentration face, I have to ignore the world in order to just concentrate on playing correctly. But I think if i knew it better I wouldn't have to and could interact more and not have resting bitch face xD Afterwards, drove back and hung out with a friend I had met online... Wasn't a date, just "hanging out" but I was still pretty nervous. The first time you meet someone you've been talking to online is always awkward, and it was for like the first hour but after a bit got better. Then saw a movie, and by that time started to really have fun. Guess it's always awkward at first, but if you get through that then you can start being more comfortable.... Hmm

 

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week two review.

-Finished up my washington dc trip, read some "the life changing magic of not giving a fck" and unpacked my new chromebook... last one not really an accomplishment lol. 

-Started a new daily app called Curious, daily things to wake up to or end the day at, little interesting things and the word of the day and photo/art of the day, etc. Just interesting for trivia or little things about the world. Also potential for more interesting videos on things I'm interested in, haven't engaged in that yet though. 

-Hung out with my little brother in the program, I keep forgetting about rain and how that affects things... its cause I didn't really play outside that much when I was a kid, and it doesn't really affect my plans as an adult because I'm not a big outdoors guy. 

-Friend came over for a day on the weekend, played video games and a reminder that defense first mindset will help you survive, if the goal is to survive in any application. Playing in a band wa the best part, as always. Recording is great, and it really helps with the "take from every touch" principle. 

-First time hanging out with someoen I met online... nervous, especially right at the restaurant but it turned out great. Definitely increased my confidence for this type of hting, and ever increasing comfort in chaos. 

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3-26.

-Ate at a venezualan restaurant... mMmmMM. Then I woudln't believe it but I watched my second scarie movie in 2 days, I haven't seen a single scary movie in years. I was okay during it but like afterwards in real life its like.... o.O Don't like this feeling haha. Don't wanna fck with it lmaoooo. Then, some chinese practice via the app, and then time to work on updating the music on my phone and the playlists, and synchronizing the data on my three computers with the data in my cloud. 

 

3-27.

-Worked on planning out my big brother program details, things to do. Also just organized my schedule a bit. Then, guitar practice. Practiced "flume" and decided on "things are changin'" to be my next song to perform. Went to singing class, and just listened to a lot of music. So great.

 

3-28.

-Big brother program match phonecall. I sort of didn't want to talk to her, or I wanted to just ask a few quesitons and then move on. I think she was really encouraging a conversation. I am amazed at how much she could speak about nothing at all, like invoking a principle or idea in every comment, and really meaning it too. Dam. How can you always be so energetic and excited hahah. Then hanging out wiht my little, it rained so ate at mcdonalds and played video games. Lol. Then ate, made food, and watched gracie university videos about entrepreneurship and the connection of principles between jiujitsu and life/business. Jiujitsu isnt even about fighting, really. Its about philosophy. Because fighting is just a metaphor for a problem, a physical metaphor to the psychological problem of life challenges. The principles that guide you to success in figthing then naturally translate to life as well, to fcking powerful and amazing success. Principles like comfort in chaos, like the idea that 50% of knowledge you need for success only happens after you launch and expereince, like time spent thinking about loss is a lost chance for new opportunities, like taking from every touch, learning from every tiny thing. Seeing the world and seeing it as somethign worht seeing, all the tiny and minute details included. 

 

3-29.

-Watched gracie videos on rolling with a significant other, and the multiple attacker myth. That is, no martial arts system can reliably take on multiple attackers, and this lie is a liability to people who follow those arts. Run away! Survival is victory. And when inroducing jiujitsu to a significant other, expect nothing and have fun and do functional things. If you push too hard they will hate it and associate it with dissapointment. Expect nothing, praise everything. That concludes the gracie philosophy quiz! I am miles better than what I started with jiujitsu and with its applicability towards life as well. Then, watched a little bit of lesson 22- music in minor key modes, then took a nap and then 11 hour work day. Hahah.

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3-30.

-Except for a guitar lesson in the middle, I spent the whole day in front of a computer pretty much. And I got hella stuff done. But upon reflecting, I shouldn't be going so hardcore on concentrating on computer tasks. I shoudl spread it out, because it makes me tired and I'm sitting down. Always variety, always variety. I organized all my credit cards, organized websites/data, completed the first part of my health wellness screenign for my job, started working on transferring all my photos to google photo, all my folders to google drive, and factory resetting my slow ass lenovo laptop so hopefully it can be atleast a decent laptop.... hmm. Although I did a lot today I think it would have been better to do all my computer organizing stuff in the morning, come back and play guitar or read or do jiujitsu, then I can do more, and at the end of the day just chill and watch a movie or just read or something. Reading in the afternoon is the best though, so maybe just a movie at the end. Hmm I'll have to experiment a little on the perfect day off haha.

 

3-31.

-Woke up, just listened to music for like an hour in bed, the same song over and over.... 

Then, talked a little on my apps and then worked out to NF rings and handstand, the first time in like a month or two.. its a real good work out and satisfying too. I need to do exercise everyday. If I'm not going to BJJ or Muay thai, then I need to spend half an hour to an hour and just do the workouts, as long as I'm at home and have access to equipments. Atleast I can do the handstand workouts even at my parents home. Next, I practiced "Things Are Changin'" a little, getting more used to the pattern so I can eventually perform it next month. Then work 11-10. Just cleaned up a little when I got home, updated my profile and set up a few things on my factory reset laptop. It seems a tiny bit faster, so thats good. The time after 9 pm, and before I sleep at 11, is great for finishing habits, and for organizing and doing things that are not related to my passions. Because I like organizing but I don't need to spend all day on them. I want to work on my passions daily, that is the most important bit. Don't let organizing confuse you, don't let work on cleaning and being busy confuse you with spending time on things you value and prioritize the most. I prioritize cleaning but that's not the point in my life. The idea is to spend time on it but not all my time. 

 

4-1.

-After work, ate, then watched a show called "Love" on netflix, talked to friends, and then did pm habits, a little. fcking tired xD

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week three review.

-Watched two scary movies on back to back days, a big thing for me looool. Can't say I enjoyed it, but its always trying to strengthen my muscle for staying comfortable in chaos or uncomfortable situations.

-Reinstalled my slowass laptop, progress on consolidating the harddrives of all three computers onto Google Drive and all my photos onto Google Photos, and reupdating my itunes, as well as downloading music I want. Organized music lists, movie lists, and account stuff. 

-BBBSMA (big brother big sister of massachusetts bay) phone call, and then another excursion with my little bro... First time eating at a restaurant, and then just hanging out at his house playing video games because of the rain.. Next time be prepared for alternatives, you forget what a big impact rain can have on plans and life. 

-Decided "things are changing" to be my next song to be performed live. Its a big one, a hard one, so it will be great for my progress. 

-Guitar lesson on modal music, music thats not in the major key or minor key necessarily but better explained by just being in a mode rather than in just the 1 or 6 mode

-Finished Gracie Philosophy course! So proud and so grateful for the knowledge I have accumulated and incorporated into my life. This is some powerful stuff. Principles are the key to everything, because if you know principles then you can improvise and have confidence to get through the infinite unknownable situations that life may present you with. 

 

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4-2.

-Fuuuuuuuck I overslept. Went to work 2 hours late.... hahah shiet. Embarassing. FIrst time, like ever. Good thing there is an overnight pharmacist.... And I love this image. It's like at the time, you can never judge what you are doing. We can look back at the revolution and think of these brave men defying conventional thinking and fulfilling their dream of liberty, or at the time we can look at them and think of them as stupid and antisocial. Maybe they really are just two sides of the same coin.... more evidence for me to acknowledge critcism but to continue following your convictions... because you can never really know until the end if what you are doing is right. Back in real life, I just worked til eight, ate, messaged some people, and slept. 

 

4-3.

-Early morning, I like going to panera before 1030 am dojo, because then I don't feel lazy and not like not going, and because I can do some organizing after the weekend and catch up on things. Nice little habit thing. After a few days of heavy work just refocus the earliest moment possible the next day. Also, 7 hours of sleep might not be enough because I'm still tired after getting it. I shoudl aim for 7.5 or even 8 hours, test it out to see what feels better. 7 might not be enough..

-Jiujitsu lesson, then guitar lesson, and some reflections

-Big thing today was a 60 minutes phonecall with a friend, crazy because we live on different continents and never met them before. Fun, nervous at first, but as always can start to have fun once you settle in and realize that you will survive and even have fun. Moving form the rational survival mindset to an emotional fun and curious mindset. 

 

4-4.

-Cleaned up a bunch of stuff, lots and lots of reflections, talking on messenger app, getting tired. Finished, ready to start the Gracie combatives course. Can't wait. Then, some planning for my trip, statistical stuff, ordering and packing and getting ready, watching Love on Netflix (fcking binged!) and then cleane da little bit and ate a lot. Looked through my health care plans through my employer, all I need is the screening scheduled for friday and then I can confirm online and be good for the next year. Lots of stuff done today, lots of clean up and intricacies, no habits really. No guitar. Not much jiujitsu. A lot of social I guess, though no reading. Subtle is the name of the day.

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4-5.

-Match call. Was basically just answering questions and that was it. I didn't trust her or anything, but I think that's fine. I jsut don't want to talk, the forced calls are lame. But its an opportunity too, to ask and get advice. Well for now, we will see how it goes. 

-Guitar lesson.. starting on learning the blues scale, and how it fits into music history and these things called "blues notes" which are notes in the scale that make a blues scale sound like a blues scale.

-Jiujitsu lesson, leading warmups and then refreshing some guard passes and just some spar scenarios. helping and tightening up mechanics, getting more feeling.

-Wathced more of my series on netflix, some trip planning, going through attractions I want to see in HK and Taiwan... it will be hard to plan because the family I'm going with hasn't revealed their plans yet.. thats okay, just understand the map, know wher eyou want to go, and work it in quickly and efficiently once you get there. 

 

4-6.

-Good thing I got some nf fitness workouts in the morning. Do it everyday, days that you aren't going to the dojo anyways. So like 5x a week, ideally. Then, watched a lot of episodes of netflix inbetween work for 10 hrs. Fin.

 

4-7.

-Jiujitsu in the morning... some game changing stuff about dropping the hip to put pressure in side position, dropping hip on hip or hip on shoulder/arms. Then, did my minuteclinic visit for my job, drove back, and finished watching like 5 episodes of Love, finally finishing the series. Dam that was good. Its funny that I can not like the characters tha tmuch but still feel for them and be interested int hem and be happy that they are happy. Also, three hour phone call, longest I've ever had. Lots of awkwar pauses but fun overall. 

 

4-8.

-Worked on some organizing and finishing up some calendar stuf, then off to chinatown! hung out and ate, shopped, walked around, explored, went through places, didn't buy anything, and just talked and hung out. Fun. Then back home and talked a little more and did pm habits.

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week four review. 

-Embarassing, I was late for work because I overslept. First time in a long time. oh well.

-Keep moving forward being out of your comfort zone. Three day weekend!!! Talked on the phone for a few hours, even when it felt awkward and there was silence, but even then it was still fun and worth it. Also hung out in Boston the whole day, had to move my car like 3 times because of 2 hr parking rules xD Such a waste of money, next time lets hang out on Sunday hahah. Interesting because bumped into a musician busking on the street, and I kind of want to make it a habit to always tip anyone who does that a dollar.. .that might be me one day. I just like to do it. Support maybe, admiration for their bravery. I looked her up on facebook and legit stalked her posts haha. So fascinating just looking at her progress and journey, really gave me a lot of feeling... 6 years atleast, and thats even before she went to berklee. Wow, people are cool. "Sometimes you want to quit when the lows hit but the highest highs give you such feeling that you can never really quit." Or something like that haha.

-A bunch of subtle organizational stuff, socially etc. Cleaninup!

-Seems like a lot of work on social passions today, watched the netflix series Love and really just didn't want to quit. LIfe is like that, nice series!

-Finished up Gracie philosophy course, paid for the Gracie combatives course and read to rock B) Well when I come back from vacation I guess haha. Still need to finish up research and packing and plans. 

-Guitar and jiujitsu lessons, lots of improvement especially in hip control. Brian always gives the hard hitting lessons when hes here.

 

"As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler; solitude will not be solitude, poverty will not be poverty, nor weakness weakness" -Henry David Thoreau

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4-9.

-Some organizing in the morning, wrote my week review for my challenge, did some reflections, and then hung out, ate food, and played Enter the Gungeon, and watched some youtube videos. It was like hanging out all day, but instead of yesterday where we just chilled and lived in the moment in going to places and seeing things, we chilled and live in the moment on what we saw on youtube or in the video game. Virtual town sort of haha. 

 

4-10.

-Woke up sick, drove an hour and  ahalf, worked for 11 hours. Some pm habits, urgent stuff, then zzz.

 

4-11.

-Work 11-10, slept in, and ate a lot of food and pm habits at night. I like that I can still organize and clean up at night. 

 

4-12.

-Work, then some travel plans, then aoc while driving to boston, saw my relatives for dinner, then drove back. While there I thought about play... this six year old was having a blast just playign with blocks. Its like a great way to spend the day. You need to put in that time to learn... I played some piano and liked the idea of an open sandbox type of learning and playing with something you are passionate about more than just books and lessons. Because sometimes books and lessons can be too strict, too suffocating with rules and expecations. Sometimes you should just spend time on playingm, and make your own way to learn, and focus on the play and look up things as needed to supplement. Play to make the mood lighter, maybe.

 

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On 4/9/2017 at 11:10 AM, Glass said:

Play to make the mood lighter, maybe.

 

This is true of so many things and has some profound implications to life, work, hobbies, relationships. I'm glad you've stumbled onto it while doing something you enjoy.

 

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On 4/13/2017 at 10:44 AM, Wolfen said:

 

This is true of so many things and has some profound implications to life, work, hobbies, relationships. I'm glad you've stumbled onto it while doing something you enjoy.

 

 

Thanks for the quote.. thats some powerful stuff. play, play play, play. play can be unpleasant and annoying sometimes.... but still play. hmmm

 

..

 

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4-13.

-After work, just tried to do work, then another three hour phone call... its crazy to me to talk on the phone this long with this person, but crazy that it isn't crazy and is normal for other people. hmm.... its like i recently realized that i am a very rational person, and that I really try too hard to control my feelings and emotions sometimes to protect myself... and sharing feelings and emotions, even negative and shameful ones, leads to a really addicting nice feeling of connection afterwards. It also leaves you feeling vulnerable and afraid of criticism or people laughing at you but as always, its the possibility of connection and love that overrules the risk of shame and betrayal. well, im happy with my progress anyways. Gonna keep going!

-Crazy to think that I'm going to Hong Kong and Taiwan for 15 days starting on friday night after midnight.... Dam. Its like I'm stepping away from my normal life and onto an airplane and into another world... wow. 2 weeks to catch up on NF? Challenge ends tmr, I'll do the recap on the plane and then maybe take that week off. take the next week off also? or half way through I can start a new Challenge in Taipei!! Maybe I'll gain some perspective or something while I'm there haha... on that note do I have any vacation goals? well just meet family, enjoy my time, meet and do the things I want to do, and then go from there. No jiujitsu or guitar goals for those 2 weeks, mayeb just read books and read stuff if I miss it but I should be enjoying my vacation. So no goals!!

 

4-14.

-Actually, I'm gonna not do anything. I wont even update nerdfitness for the two weeks! then on sunday I get back I'll just get back on track, start a new challenge. One week late maybe, but thats fine. it can be a four week challenge running through the week. Thats completely fine. Challenge no. 23 will be a four weeker from 4/30-5/27, and challenge no. 24 will be a five weeker from 5/28- 7/1, and challenge no. 25 will be a five weeker from 7/2-8/5. Sweet! Then I'll be good with five week challenges from then out. 

-Went home, packed. Packing acutally does not take very long at all, only an hour or two at the most once you have all your items and wrote your packing list. Really essential, a packing list makes things so much easier and more efficient. And don't forget anything! THen drove home to music, dinner, and hung out with a friend before driving to the airport and doing the whole 15 hour flight thing xDD

 

4-15.

-I'm on a plane, I assume. Reading, listening to music, typing to no wifi, watching movies, sleeping, being bored, thinking. Fun. heheh. What a way to pass a day. Then.... two weeks abroad! I feel a certain type of way now. Dam. hahah. life. lets go. hopefully the crisis in north korea won't affect me these two weeks. anywaysss. Peace out for a little bit, nerdfitness. Stay improving :D I'll check back in when I'm back in two weeks and back in the good 'ol US.

 

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