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Shibara respawns


Shibara

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Hi there,

I'm a 35 year old female from Germany. I've been a member of this awesome community for a while now, and I've made progress, slow and steady. Shoutout to everyone who ever helped me out! :) This is my first challenge in months. Autumn and winter took their toll on me, currently I'm going through a transitional period (lost my jobs three weeks ago). On the one hand, this is the perfect time to "finally get in shape" (yes, very vague). On the other hand, I don't respond well to stress, and I tend to put myself under stress, like: "Oh yeah, now is the perfect time! DO SOMETHING!" (often being very vague, as well!)

 

For this challenge, I'm not picking a class. I've been with the monks for a long time, and I do soft martial arts - weapon's tai chi, to be precise, at the moment it's spear, will change to Chinese sword in a few weeks. I need some kind of structure - however, too much structure makes me stumble, thinking too much (e. g. meal prepping: "What if I don't want to eat what I have prepared? What then, heh?" - and the "what if" often keeps me from even trying *sigh*) and I think I need to get myself sorted out a bit more until I can join a class again.

 

What do I want for this challenge?

 

1) No sugar and sweets - 7 days per week

Fruit is okay. Even dried fruits, if necessary. Diet soda as little as possible.

This is difficult for me, especially in social situations or under stress. Certain situations either ask for a "reward" that I have "earned", or the habit of being together with others, playing video games, drinking soda, eating chips takes over. "Live a little!" (that's not them saying, mind you... that's me finding an excuse for stuffing my face!)

 

2) Save calories/create deficit

I'm overweight (currently 100 kg). I also have a medical condition known as lipedema. This means there are some fat cells in my arms and legs that are largely unaffected by sports or diet because my lymphatic system is damaged and the fat cells bloat out of proportion. I can't do that much against these fat cells, but I do have normal fat, as well, and I want to get rid of it as much as possible without suffering too much. As much as I'd like to lose one kilogram per week, I just think I can't do that at the moment. Instead of focusing on "I want to weigh x kg at date y!" I'm trying to set my mind to: see how far you can go when you're eating a little less every day. My total energy expediture is about 2100 kcal, my basal metabolic rate is about 1700 kcal. At the moment, I find it difficult, yet manageable, to eat around 1800 kcal/day. I would prefer to eat only 1700 kcal/day, though, and over time maybe even only 1600 or 1500 kcal. Not less (at least not in a general diet; there might be a day here or there where I could go lower by using protein shakes, but I'm uncomfortable doing that for more than two or three days at most). And probably there will be days where I eat more. I really, really want to stay below 2000 kcal/day, but if I set my goal that "high", I'm opening all doors for that small voice that whispers: "Eh, you are hungry, right? Come on, have a little snack, you'll still be below 2000 kcal!" So my goal is, for now, to not go over 1820 kcal/day, and aim for 1700 whenever possible.

 

3) Learn to meal prep

I've been struggling for a really long time to come up with a feasible meal plan. Part of that is that small voice in my head that's discouraging me, as described above. Part of that is inexperience (although I've watched plenty of videos and read countless articles), and part of it is commitment, I think. When I sit down and write out a plan, it becomes tangible. Sometimes I shy away from tangible things because... as long as it's a dream or something I want to do "one day", then I don't have to worry if I fail. But if I commit to something, there is always the option of failure. I need to remind myself that there is certainly also the option of success! Or maybe not outright success from the beginning, but a good starting point from which I can improve.

My goal is to sit down and write down:

a) a general idea of how to eat/diet

b ) specific plans for each week. Possibly not with all meals for all days at the beginning, but aiming for that, eventually. I need to find the right mix between helpful structure and hindering constraint.

 

4) Do bodyweight excercises - 5 days/week

When I was working, I started doing "bathroom excercises" (read about that on a blog): after each trip to the bathroom, do a few lunges or squats. It quickly became a routine, but as I'm now at home, I'm struggling to get back into that routine.

I also have a 8 kg kettlebell which I like, but I'm hesitant to use at the moment - I had some issues with bursitis in my shoulders. I want to pick up that bell as often as possible for just a tiny little bit. Maybe every other day, if not daily.

I live in a large apartment complex. From my apartment, there are 96 stairs to the top floor. When I joined my first challenge, I made it a point to climb that stairs every day. I'm a little shy, I always hope I don't meet any neighbours, so that's the main reason why I stopped doing that wonderful excercise. Want to incorporate that again!

Maybe I'll start again at planking. (yeah, I hear you, 'maybe' is not a specific goal... I need to write it down for now, maybe to incorporate it at a later point into a future challenge)

Maybe I'll start with the beginner's body workout. Or maybe I'll dig out my old callanetics video. (same for the 'maybe' as above - it helps to note down the options, even if they are rather vague).

For this challenge, I want to focus on bathroom exercises (every day) in addition to either stairs or kettlebell (at least every other day, so 4 days/week). More is always welcome, but I should probably start small.

 

5) Go outside, aim for 2 km of walking (or more) - 5 days/week

When I was working, I spent my lunch break outside, walking for about 40 minutes every day. During summer, I often added another small walk in the evening when I arrived at home. Walking is really good and important for my legs. It helps that Pokemon Go has incorporated the "streak feature" - that way, I'll usually go outside to at least the nearest pokestop, and while I'm outside, I might as well go for a walk. Tiny downside: I prefer to walk in areas with pokestops now, as opposed to the woods and park in the other direction ;) But as long as I get some walking done, I'll be happy. 2 km per day would be ideal. If I just feel like I can't, I'll do at least the small "four pokestops" trip. So the 5 days/week are for the 2 km, which leaves me the option of skipping on two days if I don't feel well enough to tackle that.

 

6) 20 Minutes of house cleaning/tidying/unpacking, 4 times/week

I'm not a super tidy person, and since I've moved into this apartment three years ago, I've still not finished unpacking everything. There is a pile of boxes in my bedroom and in my cellar. Occasionally I'll look into them, but I haven't yet managed to completely unpack them. During this challenge, I want to make time for doing house work. I'll need to find the balance between "meh, I don't want to do anything, just unpacking the dishwasher will have to count!"-days and "you have a lot of free time at the moment, go and use it!"-moments, so I'll tentatively aim for 20 mins every other day. More is always an option. Important for me is setting an alarm clock (please remind me to do that). This equals Steve's "hard hat" - I'm in cleaning up-mode then, which can't be interrupted.

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My scoreboard

 

1) No sugar and sweets - 7 days per week
Week 1: 4/7 - room for improvement. Sweets were stress-related.
Week 2: 2/7 - ouch. Partly stress-related, partly "live a little"/relaxing
Week 3:
Week 4:

 

2) Save calories/create deficit - stay below 1800 kcal
Week 1: 5(?)/7 - was unable to track every meal due to eating out, but should have been mostly okay (although my scale is telling me something different - the scale lies!)
Week 2: 4-ish? Was unable to track a lot of my meals. Will get back to that with more vigor!
Week 3:
Week 4:

 

3) Learn to meal prep

a) written down a general idea of how to eat/diet - yes/no
b ) specific plans for each week - yes/no
Week 1: no (both)
Week 2: no (both)
Week 3:
Week 4:

 

4) Do bodyweight excercises - 5 days/week
Week 1: 5/5 - not enough bathroom excercises, but kettlebell and stairs.
Week 2: 5/5 - same. Could be more, though, that's very generous counting
Week 3:
Week 4:


5) Go outside, aim for 2 km of walking (or more) - 5 days/week
Week 1: 5/5 - nice weather certainly helped ;)
Week 2: 5/5 - outside yes, 2 km each time no, was less on some days and more on others
Week 3:
Week 4:


6) 20 Minutes of house cleaning/tidying/unpacking, 4 times/week
Week 1: 3/4 - room for improvement. One day we got a lot of stuff done, the others were more "the basics". On the other hand, I was stressed (job-related)
Week 2: 4/4 - I think. Got a whole lot of stuff done, proud of myself and grateful for my helping friend!
Week 3:
Week 4:

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Writing down goals is really hard for me, so I put it off until just now (it's rather late now, I'm tired, and that could have been a great excuse. "Go to bed, write out your challenge tomorrow!") Except that I'll be having a busy day tomorrow, so I convinced myself to do it now. And there I am.

 

With this challenge loosely in my mind, I did a 2 km walk today, and I also did some long-put off housework: I defrosted my freezer. I also did some tedious stuff for the job hunt and feel rather accomplished. Eating was okay, although I'm still hungry (1750 kcal today). No sweets, just a little bit of Coke Zero after dinner. I waited a little too long for preparing dinner, so I couldn't really convince myself to cook and wait for another 30 minutes and grabbed one ready-made meal. Later I had some ham and vegetables, and afterwards I cooked some veggies and scrambled two eggs with them. I'm feeling good with that choice. Now I only need to convince my body to rest instead of wanting more food... off to bed I go!

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Worked well yesterday, stayed at 1750 kcal, plus about 200 for my walk.

Today was a little stressful. Con: ate 2025 kcal. Pro: no sweets, no store-bought sushi. Had some stressful appointments and usually fall into the trap of "reward yourself!" afterwards. Instead I bought some carrots, chicken strips and, a little unnecessary but my body was craving it, some cheese. Was tempted to add some fruit juice. I do miss sweet stuff.

Tonight I made a big salad with some store-bought salad as basis that came with its own dressing. This time I used all of that (usually only half of it). It contains some sugar. Still, I will count this day as a success.

No walk today, was too busy. But I did swing my kettlebell a tiny little bit. Shoulders were aching a bit, so I stopped early. Could have done maybe a little more, but didn't want to risk anything.

I also talked with my doctor. She will help me creating a plan for establishing a good eating habit as well as a housekeeping/management plan next Monday. I'm not sure how to count this week (regarding my goal no. 2). Maybe I can establish some basic plan until that appointment next week, or I will simply not count it this week. Having help is always good, I'm looking forward to that.

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Quite the writeup!  Glad to see you in a challenge again.

 

Pokemon Go is great incentive.  Little walks and stairs and bathroom exercises all add up.  Good plans all around.

 

Maybe try making a big batch of one meal and eating it all week for 1 meal/day?  Less planning and just one thing to cook?  It would be a way to start.

Behave yourself, badly if necessary.
 

Current Challenge

Judo - Shodan

My Character

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Depending on your personality, you could also do the exact opposite. Either batch-prep a whole whack of things for the freezer on a mad weekend prepping binge (but then have lots of choice without having to assign specific food to a specific day), or more sedately, prepare large amounts of regular dishes (4x the regular amount of chili for example), and freeze those to have 3 meals for some other time. Pretty soon, you will have grab-and-go dishes that you can eat if you don't like what you planned to cook, or don't have time.

 

Of course, that assumes you have a freezer.

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Hey,

Thanks for stopping by, both of you! :)

 

I do have a freezer, albeit it's not overly large and most of the time it's filled with things I need on a regular basis (that's mostly lots of frozen veggies that usually form big lumps once their bag is open and take up more space than when they're laying completely flat). Once I did batch-cook two meals: some minced beef and veggies and quinoa, and the other meal was sort of a thai curry with chicken, coconut sauce and veggies. Both meals I eat, or used to eat, rather regularly. I had five boxes of each frozen and could reheat them easily, but I still do have some of the curry (because one time my guts reacted badly to that and so I shy away from eating the rest).

 

I think I need a larger freezer. I have contemplated on clearing out my cellar a bit and putting a small chest freezer downstairs. That would be very useful - I could store larger amounts of pre-made meals and even some meat (a friend of mine has an offer for half a pig, but can't store all of that, either) and have the "just grab the bag and throw it in the pot"-stuff easily available in my freezer in my flat.

 

Challenge-wise, it's going okay. Yesterday was bit stressful: I drove my friend to another city about one and a half hour away, she had an appointment at a clinic there. While I dropped her off at the main entrance, I went in search of a parking space. The clinic area has a funny layout: most of the buildings are at the base of a hill, the streets are rather curvy and narrow, and they build the car park a good way up the hill. Enough space, but a good way to walk. However, I'm not complaining, I like walking!

 

Afterwards, my friend said "I want to invite you to lunch", and we went to a KFC because I really wanted to try their currently advertised "double down burger" (which consists of two slices of chicken stuffed with bacon and some cheese). Was okay (even if the chicken was lightly breaded). Later we went to my place. While talking, I vented a little at how I feel unable to clear up and organize my flat. She offered her help, and within a few hours, we managed to do some "I'll do it one day!"-stuff. Was I proud of myself and grateful towards my friend! Also, I count that as bodyweight excercise - lugging around heavy cartons and screwing in screws manually into a shelf did their thing to my arms and shoulders ;)

 

Also: when we entered the KFC, I really wanted some ice cream. I completely had forgotten about my goal "no sweets". While eating, I was quite satisfied, though, and so I did not need the ice cream (however, I did have some 7up... as I said, I completely forgot about my goals). The soda was enough to satisfy me and I was happy that I didn't buy some ice cream.

Only today do I realize that I forgot about my challenge. On the one hand I'm glad that I was able to stop myself from mindlessly eating sweets. I did have that urge later in the evening, too - stress does that to me, apparently! On the other hand I'm a tiny little sad about forgetting my goals, but nevermind, the joy of "hey, I can eat like a normal person!" is larger than the tiny bit of guilt! :) So I guess I will count yesterday as "success", even if I had a small soda.

 

Phew. I need a plan on how to reorganize my cellar compartment... having a second freezer really sounds like a great idea!

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Those are some great meals to have prepared and frozen!

 

So, on a day where you forgot your goals you:

  • Supported a friend
  • Got some walking in
  • Tried something you'd made a deliberate decision to try (and apparently had to drive 90 min to access??)
  • decided against ice cream
  • asked a friend for support
  • Got a bunch of organizing and things done - also counting for some exercise

Yep.  Good success.  It's not about being perfect.

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Behave yourself, badly if necessary.
 

Current Challenge

Judo - Shodan

My Character

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:redface-new:

Weeeeeell, if you put it that way... :D

 

No, it's not about being perfect. That's sometimes hard for me. I don't strive for perfection, per se! It's just that I'm often unaware of that trap.

 

Today I had a mostly relaxing day. Tried planking again (haven't done that in weeks! Still managed 60 seconds, woot!), and currently I'm putting together another job application. That's about it. But I'm completely okay with that! A few minutes ago I visited a neighbour upstairs. They will go on vacation next week and I'm allowed to cat-sit. I love cats! :love_heart: They wanted me to show some stuff, and of course I did not take the lift upstairs, so I guess that's enough of a workout for today ;) I'll go outside in a minute (keep my Pokemon streaks running ;) ), but I guess I won't walk far today but keep it a little low instead.

 

We do have a KFC in the next town over, but it's currently closed for renovation. This special offer ends in a few days, though, and I'm not sure if they will be open again. KFC is not as common as McDonalds and BurgerKing over here. I'd say, Subway Sandwiches is the third major player, and then there are more smaller fast food/speciality places. Very common are small Turkish restaurants who offer "Döner Kebab", usually as take away: a bread, similar to a pita or a very large roll, stuffed with grilled, very thinly sliced meat, topped off with a few onions, salad, tomatoes and some sauce. But they are individually owned, not a francise, so the quality and offers can vary by a great amount. KFC is growing, especially in larger cities and on truck stops next to the motorway, but not too common over here.

doener_im_brot.jpg

 

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Yeah, these "turkish burgers" can be really good :)

 

I'm stressed. But let me start at the beginning:

 

Yesterday I sent out another job application. Only a few minutes after sending my email I got an answer with a few more questions. Picking up my courage I spontaneously decided to call the guy, and we talked for a few minutes about the job before he invited me to a personal interview on Monday. I was happy - finally a job interview! But then my self-doubt kicked in. What if he hires me? What if the job is too stressful? What if I can't cope with it? It's a translation office with a very, very small staff, a start-up. I expect a lot of work. Maybe some overtime. Yes, the work will be work that I mostly like (probably). But... will I be able to handle that? Or will I fall back into negative habits, "living" only for my work, not being able to live? Shouldn't I apply to that other job that sounds a little boring, but only has 25 hours per week in the afternoon and that will probably not pay too well? The language office stated what they will pay, and it's less than I made at my last office job, too, so I'll be working more and earning less - but probably with a job that I'll like more.

 

I'm so torn. Earlier today, I had a panic attack. That has never happened to me before. Was a disturbing feeling.

 

Positive: when I finally was able to calm down, I went outside, took a longish walk and did some grocery shopping. And I wanted some chocolate, but didn't find what I wanted, so I decided against buying any at all. I was proud of myself. But when I arrived back home, I found some gummy candy and ate all of it. Ah, well, it's not the end of the world.

 

Please wish me luck that I won't lose my nerves again, survive tomorrow and then handle my interview well. Fortunately I'm having an appointment with my psychologist on Monday, as well, so she will probably be able to help me further. Also nice: my neighbours will be on vacation for a few days and I will take care of their two cats. The female is a bit reluctant and doesn't want to be petted, but the male is quite nice. I love my rats dearly, but they don't want to be petted that much, so being able to fluff a cat will probably help, too.

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I had an EPIC job interview! Even if they should not hire me, they definitely showed interest in me and saw things I didn't see myself. They were like "I can totally imagine you doing this and that", and I was like *hold your tongue, don't say anything, no, he's so wrong!* inside my head. I'm so, so, SO proud of myself that I stood up for myself (like telling them "well, I'm performing better with less work hours" and "I need clear communication, I'm all for 'Tell me if I do something wrong, else I can't improve anything'". 

 

Afterwards, I felt like celebrating, so I had chocolate. Lots of it. I don't regret anything. This is a day for celebration!

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I'm still around, but haven't spend too much thought on my challenge. Too bad! I had a few rough days and ate sweets, but I also managed not to overdo it during the past three days where I stayed with friends. These special friends usually mean: playing video games, eating chips, sweets and chocolate, drinking soda". I had surprisingly little of that! Also, we managed to get in a decent amount of walking, at least on Saturday. Overall, it was quite relaxing. I also relaxed mentally. This is BIG for me! Usually I'm like "I shouldn't eat this", "this is not so good", "I shouldn't eat that", "I really would love to eat that, but..." - very constricting. This past weekend I decided to eat what I wanted. When we went to a pizza place, I was so hyped for getting a whole pizza! I really wanted that! But then I was able to compromise with myself: order a salad, which is equally delicious at that place, and snag a slice of pizza from my friend. Worked!

 

I think I need to change slowly towards compromises in my daily life. How? No idea, yet. But overall, things are going... not too bad for me, at the moment :) I'm way more optimistic that I'll figure something out.

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I... I just need to post this everywhere, even if it has not much to do with my challenge. (speaking of which, I'm not very mindful about it, but I enjoy living at the moment, and strangely, it works out rather well, even when I'm not constantly thinking about "don't eat sweets!" I do, in fact, eat less, and what I eat, I truly enjoy)

 

I just came home from a long walk. Almost exactly 5 kilometers. This is a new personal record for me. Yes, I'm a little tired, and yes, I took it slow, but... holy canneloni, FIVE KILOMETERS! Without sore legs! I'm not really in pain!

 

Last year, I could do about three and a half, at most. The year before, I started out with less than two.

 

I'm so, so, so happy! I can't believe it. This is crazy! Crazy good!

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