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Afraid to lose weight


DyDy

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It's scary. Sometimes I think people with weight to lose think that losing that weight will solve all their other problems too, and unfortunately that's not the case. But it works the other way round too - when I was overweight there were things that I didn't need to worry about because I was overweight. For example.... no point in trying to look good or dress well because I'm overweight, no point in trying to find a partner, various activities are either difficult or impossible or just plain embarrassing. Truth is that being overweight was generally an excuse for not worrying about/not doing most of those things, and now that excuse looks like it's gradually evaporating...

 

I think the main thing is not to freak out and not to panic, and give yourself time. Weight loss takes a long time, and self image adjustment takes even longer. I'm not sure if it's related or not, but although I took up running several years ago after I'd lost most of the weight I wanted to lose, I've only recently been able to run full speed down hill. I don't know whether this was a technique issue, but I suspect it was because I lacked the confidence in my own balance and still regarded myself as much heavier than I really was.

 

That's probably not great advice... if you're freaking out, try not to freak out! But I think it's something that everyone goes through when they lose weight to a greater or lesser extent. Some people lose a lot of weight but can't or won't see it in the mirror, while others see someone who doesn't look like them any more. It's difficult, but worth it.

 

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 Level 4 Human Adventurer / Level 4 Scout, couch to 5k graduate, six time marathon finisher.

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On 27/03/2017 at 2:51 PM, DyDy said:

I'm quite embarrassed to say this, but I'm afraid to lose weight. For all my life, I've been overweight/obese and that is all I know. Now I'm loosing a kilo here and there, I'm starting to freak out. I think it is because it is so unkown, that I have no idea what to do with myself. :(

 

I can actually understand this.  Like Rostov said, there's a sort of safety net that comes with obesity.  You know you're overweight and what other people see when they look at you, but when you start losing weight you lose that safety net.

 

Indon't know if this is how you feel but I found the most difficult time for me, in terms of body image, was when I had lost about 10-15kgs.  I wasn't in the "healthy weight" category but I'd lost the Cloak Of Invisibility that came with being obese.  I felt really vulnerable and open to criticism, like everyone would look at me and think I was disgusting.  It actually made me want to be heavier again just so that I didn't feel so bad about myself. 

 

You might also just be feeling the uncertainty of change.  If being obese has been a part of who you are all your life then you probably feel like this is fundamentally changing you, which you probably weren't prepared for.  It's kinda scary when that happens but try to think of it as an opportunity.  Losing weight will free you to do so many things that you just weren't able to do before, and the chance to reinvent yourself a little. 

 

I dont know if any of that helps at all but if nothing else then just know that you're not alone xx

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On 4/1/2017 at 11:44 AM, Henricko said:

What is your mother doing to control diabetics over 3 years? Even my mother is also suffering from diabetics. But she is really confused what to do?

 

Diabetes runs in my family. The big thing is to eat low glycemic index meals, monitor your sugars, exercise regularly and take your medicine exactly as prescribed. Most regions have diabetes education courses for newly-diagnosed diabetics - let your mom know to look for one. If you don't take care of your diabetes, bad things happen (within my 2nd degree or closer relatives alone, complications of not-taken-care-of diabetes include: amputation, retinal detatchment, diabetic retinopathy, peripheral neuropathy, dementia, ketoacidosis, could go on...). It's really important to look at taking care of your diabetes as a job for which the payoff is your health and life. For me, where I know it runs in the family to the point that literally everyone over 40 has it on my mother's side and all but one person (my father) over 50 has it on my father's side, I feel like diabetes is not an "if" for me but a "when." I've just decided I'm going to adopt the lifestyle changes now so that when my pancreas goes kaput, I've already got most of the tools to manage it mastered. Bit fatalistic, but if it gets me eating well and exercising, I'll take it. 
 

On 3/27/2017 at 10:51 AM, DyDy said:

I'm quite embarrassed to say this, but I'm afraid to lose weight. For all my life, I've been overweight/obese and that is all I know. Now I'm loosing a kilo here and there, I'm starting to freak out. I think it is because it is so unkown, that I have no idea what to do with myself. :(

 

I don't know if it would help at all (my issue is more trying to avoid becoming weirdly obsessive over weight loss and calorie counting) but maybe taking a break from the bathroom scale would help? Maybe try to do your thing with healthy eating and moderate exercise and not worry about the weight for a bit. It helps me when I find I'm getting a little weird about the number on the scale.

or is it more of a "you don't know what to do" about how you look/feel in space kind of thing?

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I wish I had better advice for you but really all I can say is that your are making your life better. 

 

Now losing weight doesnt solve solve all your problems, it's not going to make you magically the perfect happy human being.

 

its just one piece of the puzzle.

 

Since I've taken up losing weight( down about 60lbs) It's taken not just food and activity , but I've also taken up counselling and meditation. Because my mind and way of thinking are just as out of shape as my body is.

 

Please don't give up, maybe you just need to find someone to talk to, but your doing the right thing.

 

 

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I think this is very much more common that people realize.  Once upon a time I weighed in at about 230lbs at 5'4".  I lost over 100 lbs, but then regained about 45 or 50 of that back, which is where I find myself now.  I remember after losing all that weight and I was standing in a check out line at a grocery store.  The clerk opened a line and waved me over and was obviously flirting.  I was furious.  there were older people there and lot of other people waiting in the line.  I kept thinking I must have imagined it, nobody flirts with me.  I couldn't decide what to feel, and it just made me feel so insecure.  I've known people who lose a significant amount of weight and suddenly decide they don't have to take all the crap they've always taken from their significant others, so they ditch them.  Sometimes people go out and become wild hook up type people, because suddenly they can.  And this nearly always causes pain and psychological distress, because people don't even recognize themselves anymore.  And none of this is about the number on the scale.  In gastric bypass support groups this type of major behavioral change comes up quite a lot in discussions.  It is funny how safe the weight can make us feel, and how vulnerable when that safety net goes away.  It doesn't makes sense to people who have never been obese or morbidly obese, but it's a thing.

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On 3/27/2017 at 8:51 AM, DyDy said:

I'm quite embarrassed to say this, but I'm afraid to lose weight. For all my life, I've been overweight/obese and that is all I know. Now I'm loosing a kilo here and there, I'm starting to freak out. I think it is because it is so unkown, that I have no idea what to do with myself. :(

 

I feel you on this 100%.

 

All my life, I've been put on diets, ignored by the opposite sex, and hated every minute of it. But I have recently come to find out that being heavy is my comfort zone. And even though I don't like it, losing weight cares the bejeesus out of me because I'm not going to know what to do. At least in my current state, I know what to expect.

 

I'm not sure if I'll ever get over the idea of not being this size. I just know that also under the threat of diabetes drugs and insulin (which I am super opposed to taking and don't currently need) I am going to have to make serious, terrifying changes.

 

You have the right to feel the way you feel ("quite embarrassed"), but reading through the other replies here and my own feelings, I hope you know you're not alone.

level 1 Human Druid
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