Jump to content

Obsessing about weight loss


Recommended Posts

I lost 32 kg (70 pounds) in the last 3 years. However I could only do that by not focusing on weight loss at all. I was so discouraged that I didnt even believe that I could lose weight. And also I lost weight in the past but always gained it back. So I thought whats the point in even trying when I will gain it all back anyway. So I said to myself that it doesnt matter if I lose one pound it only matters that I eat better than I ate before, that I get healthier and that I stop abusing my body with food.


And that really helped. I had so many plateaus in these 3 years but I didnt give up because it didnt matter as much if I lost weight when I felt better.


Now I am at another point in my journey. After all this weight lost I suddenly believe that I can do it. And whatever measurement you would take I would need to lose at least another 30 pounds to be considered normal weight. So I suddenly thought, maybe I have to do more. Maybe its not enough just to move my body and try to eat right. Maybe I have to follow a plan to get to "normal weight".


But the more I focused on that the more obsessive I got. I counted calories and ate too little, I weight myself almost daily and was discouraged by the slow progress. It was hell.


So I stopped again. Now I am at a point where I dont know where I stand. I decided again that focusing on weight loss is just not working for me. Its causing me unhappiness, stresses me out and just doesnt bring me progress. So I thought maybe it would be a good idea to pretend that I am at my goal. Because 32kg heavier I said, if I would just be the weight I am now I would be so happy and that would be more than enough. So maybe its time to be happy about it and just continue the healthy habits I learned and let my body react the way it should react. With maintaining or losing weight whatever would be best for me.


Does anybody else have the same issues? Can anybody relate?

I am just unsure if I should just push myself more or relax more.


P.S. my current weight is 91kg (200 pounds), not that the number really matters.

  • Like 1
Link to comment


First of all, congratulations on everything you've achieved over the last three years.


It sounds to me like you had a plan that was working, that you've tried something else, and that hasn't worked so well and has made you unhappy and stressed. So I think going back to what you were doing before sounds like a sensible move. Sounds to me as if the reason you lost the weight and have kept it off is because you adopted sustainable habits that you've kept going which worked for you physically and psychologically.


I think when you get to the last 20-30lbs of weight to lose it becomes much harder to lose and takes much longer. This can be a bit dispiriting if you're used to much faster progress, as the plateaus become more regular and last longer. Also, the sacrifices/changes that are needed can be harder to make - it's harder to find calorie savings and harder to find new ways to burn calories that you're not already doing. It's a difficult time for many people - and I'm kind of back in it now that my weight has crept up a little and some of my own habits have slipped somewhat, and I need to find a new and better balance myself.


It may be that a further change is needed to lose the last 30 pounds from what you're doing already, but from what you've said I don't think that change is going to be found through calorie counting and other forms of intense focus. I think my instinct would be to go back to what you were doing and look for any further small changes, and then see what works.

  • Like 2

 Level 4 Human Adventurer / Level 4 Scout, couch to 5k graduate, six time marathon finisher.



Current 5k Personal Best: 22:00 / 21:23 / 21:13 / 21:09 / 20:55 / 20:25 (4th July 17)

Current 5 mile PB: 36:41 35:27 34:52 (10th May 17)

Current 10k PB: 44:58 44:27 44:07 44:06 43:50 (29th June 17)

Current Half Marathon PB: 1:41:54 1:38:24 1:37:47 1:37:41 (14th June 15)

Current Marathon PB: 3:39:34 3:29:49 (10th April 16)


Link to comment

Thank you Rostov. You are right, I should stick with what works and that had been small gradual changes that are sustainable. And maybe I am also unsure because of what you mentioned. That I know the further down it gets the harder it is and the more I need to do.



I did so many things its hard to pinpoint but I try:

- I gave up soda and juices totally (not drank them once and never will again)

- I gave up sugar for a year and now only consume it once a month at the most.

- I severly limited gluten. I eat no bread or pasta. Nowadays bread at the most once a month.

- I cook 90% of my meals from fresh ingriedients. Before I had more takeout or was eating out.

- I exercise 3 times a week (but I already did that before I lost the weight because its fun.


And the best thing for me is that I changed all of these things one at a time. Its a lifestyle change for me. I am sure I will never go back. I can eat all of the stuff I eliminated on a day but its no relapse because the next day I am back to my new way.

Thats also why I am hesitant to do something extreme because I dont believe that it is sustainable.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
6 hours ago, Halo said:

You've come a long way. That's awesome!  What kind of exercise are you doing? Any chance you can up the intensity and weight moved over the same time?

I can definitely do that. My exercise is not really intense. Usually playing tennis and going to a bodywork class. Just lately I added resistance training to my routine and I havent managed to be very consistent with that.

Link to comment

Think Halo gave a good pointer; "just" try to add weight training to your live; don't change anything else. (btw, big kudos on the food preperation and habits)


If you want to loose more weight you might consider strength training. It will burn calories and the increased muscles will additionally require more energy to be maintained.


I'd suggest to initially work with a trainer at the gym to create a plan that suits you and to learn the right forms when doing excercise. It's just quicker and easier than doing all the research yourself.


Take stock of how you feel, sleep, weigh before you start, note it down and forget all about it. As you so rightly say, focussing on this kind of stuff can ruin ones time.

Give the training 2 or 3 months, take stock again and compare with what you noted down at the start. 


Good luck and enjoy 

Remember that sensory deprivation causes hallucinations

Link to comment

Like some others have already said, stuck with what works for you. :) 


When I lost weight the first time around (for my wedding) I did it all the wrong way: I obsessed over my food, I ate as little as possible, I weighed myself all the time, you name it - I did it.  I ate so little in the run up to my wedding that my stomach shrank so much that I couldn't eat a full 3 course meal, I was in pain all evening and eventually threw up. Gross!


Then, when we got back from honeymoon I had to go straight into hospital for an operation I'd been waiting for and I was laid up for a while, then it was my birthday, then Christmas, then...  I put at least half to 3/4 of it back on by January.  Because I hadn't changed any of my behaviours in the first place. 


The way you've lost that 32kgs (which is a freaking lot btw! Congrats!) is the opposite of what I did, you've worked on improving your diet, eating better, being healthier.  If you keep doing that then you will keep seeing improvements, and the best bit is that you've invested in your health.


At 91kgs you have a long time before you need to worry about things really slowing down, just every now and again look at your portions and decide if you're eating enough/feel like reducing your portions.  If you really feel like you've plateaued for a while then maybe start a food diary to see if you're going wrong anywhere (it can be easy to get portion sizes wrong or to eat more than we intend to) but until then I think you're doing everything right. 


One thing that you may (or may not) find interesting in your quest to be healthier is the concept that even active poeople spend the majority of their time being inactive.  Even someone who runs every day and goes to the gym 3 times a week spends HOURS of their lives sitting on their butt - at work, in the car, watching tv, eating meals.  If you can find ways of increasing the amount of time you spend each day just moving (not exercising, just moving) then you can burn a few hundred extra calories each day without trying.  Things like using a standing desk at work, parking further away from your office, walking through the office to speak to someone instead of picking up the phone,  sitting on floor cushions at home instead of the sofa (good for your posture and core, plus you benefit from getting up/sitting down) or just doing the grocery shopping in person instead of online.  Anything that gets you moving instead of sitting. 


Just some chewing gum for your brain. ;) 

Make Life Rue The Day                             Turning back the clock                                                Recipe book  14


Life is far too short to take seriously

Link to comment

Thank you all for the good suggestions. 


I am still going back and forth between just continuing my good eating habits and wanting to lose weight. Its pretty frustrating. I think I eat better than I have ever eaten before in my life and still for 3 months now I have to same weight.


I now decided to try carb cycling. Alternating between eating high and low carb days. Mostly I ate low carb in the last months but maybe its helpful to switch it up. And I also want to exercise more again. Have been lazy lately because I felt so tired afterwards. I think maybe my eating hasnt supported my exercise routine anymore.


Also since the beginning of the year I try to get into weight lifting. But I am pretty irregular with it. 

in April: 2 times

in March: 4 times

in February: 6 times


Not a good trend ;-)

But I am not giving up. My good habits are solid and I will keep them anyway. I am just trying new stuff to find out what will work in regards to weight loss in a sustainable and healthy way.

Link to comment

Hi, I would actually use what Robb Wolf would call a performance objective and focus on that. The point is that lot of athletes have amazing physique not because they were trying to look amazing but because they were trying to achieve something amazing. You could start small and then improve on it (e.g. A strict pull up, an strict handstand push up, deadlift 200 kgs... )



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  • Like 1
Link to comment
On 5/1/2017 at 1:13 PM, Lana said:

Also since the beginning of the year I try to get into weight lifting. But I am pretty irregular with it. 

in April: 2 times

in March: 4 times

in February: 6 times


Do you actually enjoy weightlifting? Given your downward trend maybe it's just not for you?


Some people really get into the challenge of trying to lift a tiny bit more every time and love getting stronger. 


Other people find it deadly boring and would rather visit the dentist than do one more bench press.


Either perspective is fine. You don't have to lift weights if you don't want to. 


You mentioned that you exercise 3 times a week. On non-exercise days, you could walk. Just wander around your neighborhood for half an hour - you don't even have to get sweaty or wear "workout" clothes. Comfy shoes are all that are required. 


Once a week, add some sprints. With one caveat: don't do running sprints if you don't run regularly! Here are some joint friendly alternatives: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/13-worthy-alternatives-to-traditional-sprinting-you-should-try/


Keep making those little changes, and keep up the great work! 

"'It's time for a few small repairs,' she said." - Shawn Colvin



Link to comment

I'm new in this forum. I can relate to your issue and I know how to fix it.

focusing on calorie counting is devistating becasue in this modern civiliziation, food is a form of plessure.

counting calorie more than 6 months will break a lot of people.

I recommend you to focus on fresh whole food, less junk like fresh meat, fish, eggs, grain free liftyle. 

carbohydrartes will make us fat and stimulate insulin release which can make our fat tissue grow. 

By eliminating grain, carbohydrates from our diet you won'w have to  focus on your calories at all, only what is in it and whats not.

I recommend you try low carb diet, interrmitent fasting, ketogenic etc.


Link to comment

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...

Important Information

New here? Please check out our Privacy Policy and Community Guidelines