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Tanktimus: Just Give Me All the Bacon and Eggs You Have


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Wait, wait, wait. I worry what you just heard was "give me a lot of bacon and eggs." What I said was, "Give me ALL the bacon and eggs you have." Do you understand?

Spoiler

 

I have not watched Parks and Rec much, but I love Swanson. I'm still going to be focused on getting enough protein this challenge (target is 200g or more per day) as my body seems to like a high protein diet. The other thing that's changing is I will add a decluttering/minimizing goal to my Domestic Rangering this challenge. I have a huge pile of stuff to get rid of, so it may be more about getting that pile out of the apartment than identifying stuff to throw away/donate, but I'll go through all my stuff once again. I'll be moving at the end of the challenge after this one  (to the apartment where Mi Prometida and I will live after the wedding), so the next challenge will involve packing for the move, this one is about having less stuff to pack and move.

 

Strength: 8 lift days. Pretty straightforward here. I will do Bench and Squat on Mondays or Tuesdays and Deadlift and OverHead Press on Wednesdays or Thursdays.

Image result for ron swanson exercise

 

Mobility: 6 NF Yoga workouts. I’ll do one session each of Water A and B, one sessions each of Fire A and B, and one Session of Star A and Yin. I like rotating the sessions because it keeps me from getting bored and Water A and B are shorter, it’s nice having the option to do them on a rushed day.

Image result for ron swanson exercise

 

Walking: I have great places to walk, so it’s not hard to get out and do. There will be six walking days, a 2 mile, 4 3 mile walks, and a 4 mile walk are the goals.

Image result for ron swanson exercise

 

Domestic Rangering: Still the goal here to do laundry, clean bathroom and kitchen and mop and vacuum once per week. I will also go through all my stuff to identify things to de-own, and get the pile of stuff out of my apartment. 

Image result for ron swanson cleaning

 

Eating: I will cook paleo and only allow myself two variances per week. This seems to be working, the trick is not to use a variance to go crazy. I’m going to track calories on Sundays, Mondays, and Tuesdays. The goal is to track, when tracking I find I naturally keep myself on target. As mentioned above, I’m not going to make macros part of the goal, but I’m going to try and hit protein goals as often as I can, my body seems to like it when I do that, both with my ability to perform while lifting and with weight loss. 200 is a good goal. I'll consider 175 to 199g marginally acceptable, 200 the goal, and to actually hit or exceed the protein goal set by MFP for the day as a bonus.

Image result for ron swanson exercise

 

Here’s what I’ll use in the signature instead of progress bars.

Strength: 8 Lift Days

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

 

Mobility: 8 Yoga Days

Water A | Water B | Fire A | Fire B | Star B | Yin

 

Walking: 4 Walk Days

2 Miles | 3 Miles | 3 Miles | 3 Miles | 3 miles | 4 Miles

 

Domestic Rangering: Laundry, Mop, Vacuum, Bathroom, Kitchen 1x Week

LMVBK | LMVBK | LMVBK | LMVBK | Minimizing | Get rid of stuff |

 

Eating: Cook Paleo with only two variances per week

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ | _ _ _ _ _ _ _ | _ _ _ _ _ _ _ | _ _ _ _ _ _ _ |

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"By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath

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4 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

Holy crap. I'm the first one on a Tank challenge. 

 

 

We're all too ashamed to show our faces here after the amount of Easter candy we have been scarfing.

 

Have fun with all the meat Tank! You must dream in steaks.

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11 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

Holy crap. I'm the first one on a Tank challenge. 

 

 

Well done!

6 hours ago, Kestrel Grey said:

We're all too ashamed to show our faces here after the amount of Easter candy we have been scarfing.

 

Have fun with all the meat Tank! You must dream in steaks.

Not at all. Sometimes it's bacon.

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"By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath

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1 hour ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Not at all. Sometimes it's bacon.

 

giphy.gif

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YESSSSS. This is perfect.

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Following! Ron Swanson is the part of me screaming behind my eyes whenever I have to make small talk with strangers. 

 

22.gif

 

Also, you should watch Parks and Rec more. It's wonderful. 

 

 

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I'm more than adequate. Leave Kanye out of this. 

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Following so that you can continue to make me hungry and envious of your wonderful Texan sorcer-cookery!

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5 hours ago, RedStone said:

 

giphy.gif

Exactly.

4 hours ago, NeverThatBored said:

YESSSSS. This is perfect.

My only challenge is not reusing Swanson gifs (I probably will).

4 hours ago, deftona said:

Following! Ron Swanson is the part of me screaming behind my eyes whenever I have to make small talk with strangers. 

 

22.gif

 

Also, you should watch Parks and Rec more. It's wonderful. 

 

 

Has anyone made an edit that's just the Swanson stuff?

3 hours ago, jonfirestar said:

Following so that you can continue to make me hungry and envious of your wonderful Texan sorcer-cookery!

Fear not, you shall be hungry soon.

3 hours ago, DrFeelgood said:

I suppose I'm required to make an appearance in this thread. ;)

 

Not that I wouldn't be following you anyway.

Glad to have you!

 

Today is a good day. To all my fellow Christians, Happy Easter! To all those who are not Christians, Happy Whatever-Pagan-Holiday-This-Was-Before-We-Got-Hold-Of-It! Today is Mi Prometida's Birthday. We celebrated yesterday with both sets of parents. Her father made Ribs which were amazing. My father rightfully said they were some of the best ribs he ever had. I agreed. I'm having them again for dinner tonight. I brought an Ice Cream Cake from a local Ice Cream shop. It was two layers of chocolate cake sandwiching the ice cream, a flavor of the store called Azteca (chocolate and cinnamon) all surrounded by whipped cream frosting. We went to church together today, then came back to my place. Here's where I should warn newcomers not to come to my thread hungry. I made lunch. I started by putting mango in my magic bullet, along with fresh squeezed orange juice, two cloves of garlic, coconut aminos and cayenne pepper and blended it. I put half of it in a bag with some boneless skinless chicken thighs I cut up and let them sit in the fridge. I then shredded a jicama and added lime juice, orange juice (both fresh squeezed) salt, pepper, pumpkin seeds I had just toasted, orange sections, salt and pepper and mixed it up. I served some of it on our plates and had some left over (I'm eating my half of the leftovers tonight for dinner with my share of the leftover ribs). I then added some oil to the pan where I toasted the pepitas (pumpkin seeds) and dumped the chicken, liquid and all, in the skillet. While it cooked I poured out the rest of the mango mixture onto the part of the plates not occupied by the jicama salad and then finished cooking the chicken, which I served over the sauce. It was as awesome as it sounds. 

 

There were some pastries here at work when I got to the office, I had a little of a couple different kinds, rationalizing that when someone comes back from the dead it's ok to have some carbs. I won't track calories today because I don't know how to count the ribs and it's zero week. Back to tracking tomorrow. 

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"By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath

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2 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Fear not, you shall be hungry soon

Good sir, you do not disappoint! Happy Easter!

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" Always aim for something stupidly crazy." - Charlie Quinn

2019 Races: Cliveden MTR 06/01 | Nuts Challenge 02/03 | Reading Half Marathon 17/03 | W.A.R 27/04 | RRDW 11/05 | Nuclear Oblivion 19/05 | Man vs Lakes 20/07 | Spartan Trifecta Weekend 05-06/10 | OCRWC 11-13/10

 

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4 hours ago, jonfirestar said:

Good sir, you do not disappoint! Happy Easter!

You too!

2 hours ago, T2sarahconnor said:

Happy Easter!  The mango chicken sounds awesome.  I just made mango salsa to have with chicken tomorrow.  I like the salsa favors to meld at least a day.  I may steal some of the marinade you mentioned though to change up the chicken.  

It was a great flavor, the cayenne gave it some heat that was balanced by the mango.

13 minutes ago, Elastigirl said:

That mango chicken sounds amazing. Today is a feast celebration day, and so have all the carbs you want and enjoy!

I did!

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"By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath

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You're going to need the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness.  I'll be by to help. 

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Following! I haven't seen barely any Parks and Rec (I think I've seen maybe 4 episodes...), but I recognise this grouchy meat man. Good luck on your challenge!

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/waves

 

De-owning :)

 

 

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On 4/13/2017 at 9:36 AM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I have not watched Parks and Rec much, but I love Swanson.

 

Literally the best character on the show, and one of the greatest characters on television.

 

And your challenge is awesome, btw. I'm staying for the steak. 

 

8oXBdLG.gif

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Winter is ComingWolfen Strengthens His Heart, Body, Mind, and Spirit, Wolfen Becomes One of the PeopleWolfen Strengthens His ChakrasWolfen Welcomes Summer and Gets Primal, Soulcon and Spartan, Wolfen Develops Mental ToughnessWolfen Joins the Wander SocietySoulcon, Spartan, School, and Stranger ThingsWolfen Becomes a Warrior EliteWolfen Goes Here and There and Back AgainWolfen Becomes a Soulcon Warrior EliteWolfen Returns to His RootsWolfen Wanders in Soul, Spirit, and BodyWolfen Owns the DayWolfen Searches for His Wild Heart, Wolfen Runs for His LifeWolfen Hits the TrailsWolfen Becomes an Explorer and Joins the ResistanceWolfen Goes Back to the SourceWolfen Begins the Hero's JourneyWolfDreamer Returns to the People,  WolfDreamer Pushes BackWolfDreamer PrioritizesBurpees, Books, and BrainworkBurpees, Books, Brainwork, and BodyworkWolfDreamer Masters the Four ElementsWolfDreamer Continues to Master the Four ElementsWolfDreamer Returns to SpartaWolfDreamer Returns to Middle EarthWolfDreamer Continues His Middle Earth AdventureWolfDreamer and the FallWolfDreamer Forges His Own PathWolfDreamer Has HopeWolfDreamer Returns to Middle EarthWolfDreamer Reads Harder, Breathes Harder, and Journals MoreWolfDreamer Embraces His Wild PoetThe Mad Poet Becomes Supernatural

I'd rather sing one wild song and burst my heart with it, than live a thousand years watching my digestion and being afraid of the wet.” -- Jack London

“I wanted movement and not a calm course of existence. I wanted excitement and danger and the chance to sacrifice myself for my love.” -- Leo Tolstoy

"I feel love rising in my chest again
Rising like a burning sun into the day..." -- Gungor, "Hurricane"

"...wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." 2 Corinthians 3:17b

 

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10 hours ago, Curl Brogo said:

 

You're going to need the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness.  I'll be by to help. 

Spoiler

Image result for swanson pyramid of greatness

9 hours ago, Yasha92 said:

Following! I haven't seen barely any Parks and Rec (I think I've seen maybe 4 episodes...), but I recognise this grouchy meat man. Good luck on your challenge!

I think both he and the actor who portrayed him might be pleasantly amused at being called the grouchy meat man.

6 hours ago, Ensi said:

Ron-Swanson-GIFs-Memes.gif

 

Nevertheless, following! I hope you're having a relaxing Easter :D 

I did, thanks!

4 hours ago, Katrin the Morag said:

Bacon!

 

 

A LOT of bacon.

51 minutes ago, darkfoxx said:

/waves

 

De-owning :)

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I was kinda proud of that one.

28 minutes ago, Wolfen said:

 

Literally the best character on the show, and one of the greatest characters on television.

 

And your challenge is awesome, btw. I'm staying for the steak. 

 

8oXBdLG.gif

I remember one episode where he explained libertarianism by stealing a little girls sandwhich, taking a bite and giving it back to her. It was a great episode.

20 minutes ago, imprimis5 said:

I'm in for the Nick Offerman goodness.

Paddle your own canoe.

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4 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I remember one episode where he explained libertarianism by stealing a little girls sandwhich, taking a bite and giving it back to her. It was a great episode.

 

Let's not forget this bit of awesomeness:

 

71+JNCIaEQL._SL1024_.jpg

 

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Who am I? -- My NF Character

Current Challenge: WolfDreamer, The Mad Poet, Becomes Superhuman

Past Challenges: 

Spoiler

Winter is ComingWolfen Strengthens His Heart, Body, Mind, and Spirit, Wolfen Becomes One of the PeopleWolfen Strengthens His ChakrasWolfen Welcomes Summer and Gets Primal, Soulcon and Spartan, Wolfen Develops Mental ToughnessWolfen Joins the Wander SocietySoulcon, Spartan, School, and Stranger ThingsWolfen Becomes a Warrior EliteWolfen Goes Here and There and Back AgainWolfen Becomes a Soulcon Warrior EliteWolfen Returns to His RootsWolfen Wanders in Soul, Spirit, and BodyWolfen Owns the DayWolfen Searches for His Wild Heart, Wolfen Runs for His LifeWolfen Hits the TrailsWolfen Becomes an Explorer and Joins the ResistanceWolfen Goes Back to the SourceWolfen Begins the Hero's JourneyWolfDreamer Returns to the People,  WolfDreamer Pushes BackWolfDreamer PrioritizesBurpees, Books, and BrainworkBurpees, Books, Brainwork, and BodyworkWolfDreamer Masters the Four ElementsWolfDreamer Continues to Master the Four ElementsWolfDreamer Returns to SpartaWolfDreamer Returns to Middle EarthWolfDreamer Continues His Middle Earth AdventureWolfDreamer and the FallWolfDreamer Forges His Own PathWolfDreamer Has HopeWolfDreamer Returns to Middle EarthWolfDreamer Reads Harder, Breathes Harder, and Journals MoreWolfDreamer Embraces His Wild PoetThe Mad Poet Becomes Supernatural

I'd rather sing one wild song and burst my heart with it, than live a thousand years watching my digestion and being afraid of the wet.” -- Jack London

“I wanted movement and not a calm course of existence. I wanted excitement and danger and the chance to sacrifice myself for my love.” -- Leo Tolstoy

"I feel love rising in my chest again
Rising like a burning sun into the day..." -- Gungor, "Hurricane"

"...wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." 2 Corinthians 3:17b

 

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On 4/16/2017 at 0:17 AM, Kestrel Grey said:

We're all too ashamed to show our faces here after the amount of Easter candy we have been scarfing.

 

Have fun with all the meat Tank! You must dream in steaks.

 

I know, right?

 

I am here.  Will try and remain here......

 

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 Level -20 Zombie Princess

"The only way to lose is to give up."

 -Tanktimus the Encourager

"You can't beat someone that refuses to give up."

-Björn Járnhamar

Spoiler

 

 

 

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1 hour ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:
  Reveal hidden contents

Image result for swanson pyramid of greatness

 

A LOT of bacon.

 

ALL the bacon (and eggs) you have.

 

You need practice.  But that's okay.  The challenge hasn't really started yet.

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