Here's where I went wrong. Now to figure out how to make sure that it doesn't happen again.

[WhiningAndSealNoises]

Alright, so the semester has finally come to an end. All the papers and projects have been submitted, while the presentations have all been presented. The post-semester slump wherein I came to the realization that I no longer have classes or homework has also settled in, so I thought getting back into NF after a month or so away might be a good solution for it. Anyways, I'm going to talk about some of the things that have historically given me trouble when it comes to leveling up my life. Let's get to it!

Times, they are a changin'.

I don't do well with changes. That is one of my biggest weaknesses. Once my schedule changes - and as a student, that's every couple of months - I end up struggling to maintain the routines that I had previously maintained, especially given added responsibilities and obligations. This has shown up most obviously when I've gone from "Summer Dee" to "School Dee", but it's also happened in the smaller term when my routine is disrupted severely enough. For example, I was making food at almost every meal and documenting it on Facebook near the start of the semester (around January). Cue a weekend where I had to spend Friday evening, all day Saturday, and most of Sunday in class, with the mornings starting quite early. I ended up buying every meal for the weekend and I never got back into making my own food, which sucks on many levels. Anyways, I don't seem to be able to transition well from one routine to the next, especially when my schedule changes frequently enough that I never really build habits.

 

I can't do this on my own.

I am absolutely awful at being accountable to myself. I can very easily be accountable to anyone else, be it my job or my photography hobby, but I really drop the ball when it comes to doing things for myself. My former psychologist used to tell me all of the time that I wasn't very good at taking care of myself. Things like my eating habits, my exercise habits, my cleaning habits, etc. - they're all things that only really affect me and they're the things that I neglect first. I've pretty much found out that I need to find a way to be accountable to someone else. Hence my previous attempt at photographing every meal and sticking it online for all my friends to see, or that brief attempt at having a running buddy. Mind you, school got busy and everything else was shoved onto the back burner. I need to put supports in place to keep me accountable to someone else until things become habit. This is definitely up there with my inability to cope with changes as one of my big weaknesses.

 

I can't be in two places at once... yet...

I put too much on my plate: "having a job", "going to school", "volunteering", "having a social life", "trying to get back into photography", "trying to have 'me time'", etc. These are all the things that I'm thinking about now. That's before I even factor in things like "get enough sleep", "make almost every meal", "keep the apartment clean", "exercise as often as possible", and "build strong and enduring habits". I want to do everything, sometimes all at once. I don't think that'll help me make all of these things happen.

 

Vagueness is coming.

You wouldn't believe how often I look at an idealized male body and think "I want to look like THAT!" That's not a very good goal, is it? I know the end goal, but I don't actually know how I'm going to get there, what tools I'm going to need in my arsenal, or if it's even possible for me to even reach. I can very easily get caught up in the idea of "Getting my act together". Again, a vague concept without an operational definition. I look at the ideal without actually thinking about what it'll take to get there or about whether or not I want to do those things to get there. I want to "Level up my life", but I don't even take the time to actually figure out what that means to me.

 

Where do I even begin?!
Honestly, that's a question I ask myself all of the time. I want to do this, that, and the other thing, but I don't know where to start. Do I start with this? Do I start with that? Do I start with the other thing? I really don't know. Nor do I know who I can ask, because it might be nice to get some advice. It probably might be easier once I figure out how to balance everything that's on my plate and figure out exactly what I want to do, but at the moment I'm not sure where to start.

 

SQUIRREL!

I have the impulse control of a golden retriever, which doesn't help things at all.

Anyways, I've already rambled quite a bit, but these are the biggest obstacles that I've noticed in my "quest" - can I even call it a quest when I don't know what I want and have made no efforts to either figure out what it is or to try and obtain even the vague ideas that I desire? Regardless, these are some of the things that I feel have stopped me from making more progress and I want to try and address them so that I can get started.

Any thoughts and/or advice are welcome.
 

 

[orcwarrior]

Wow!  I read all that and think..... you're definitely tackling a lot.  I feel overwhelmed just reading it.  And if reading it is overwhelming, I'm wondering if part of your "squirrelness"  (which I DEEPLY relate to) is partly due to trying to make too many changes at once.  Am beginning a respawn myself, and in reading the recommended "first challenge goals" I was struck by how small they are.  This reminded me of one of Steve's earlier posts where he talked about making sure your goals were small and doable, and then building them slowly.  I want to make sure I'm doing that as well, otherwise I'll also become a victim of too-high expectations which lead me to a crash.  Feel free to  join me trying to succeed with low goals.  :-)  Good luck!

[Raincloak]

Get a drink and a notepad.  Sit down quietly for 15 minutes, with NO DISTRACTIONS.  Turn off the phone or set it to airplane mode, and put it in another room.

 

This is your chance to indulge in a little daydreaming.  Write down all the life changes you want to make, big and small.  Yes, all of them.  As many as you can think of that you actually want to do.  Don't filter based on how hard you think they'll be, just write them.  This will take some time, which is why you're gonna sit there for 15 minutes.  If you run out of things to write, don't quit the exercise.  Stay put and keep thinking.

 

When you're done, you'll have a long list of goals that can probably be divided into categories (eg health, hobbies, relationships, career, etc).  Reset the 15 minute timer.  Circle one to three of your goals, turn over another piece of paper, and break those goals into specific, measurable steps.  Make a list of the steps for each goal.  This is so you'll know how to get to a goal and what it'll look like when you're done.  (For instance, if your goal is "learn to play guitar," your steps might include "find a guitar to play," "learn to play 'Born to Run,'" and "practice 30 minutes a day for 1 month."  Use the SMART parameters: Specific, Measurable, Accountable, Realistic, Timed.  More info:

https://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/how-to-not-suck-at-goal-setting/

 

Which goals you pick to start with doesn't matter.  Choose ones that are important to you.  And then tell us about them so we can cheer you on!