ixaera keeps on going~

[Urgan]

24 minutes ago, ixaera said:

 

Maybe, I already have that write-every-day reward which could be applied to something like that, though. The spirit of this one is more of a daily bag of chips/glass of wine/serving of oreos type thing, maybe a pint of Halo Top if I scrub the shower or something. I also only aim to go under the added sugar cap 5 days a week, so I have some leeway built in.

 

Sounds like a write then snack pairing would work. Hard cap of single serving. 

[ixaera]

5/15/17

hi

 

Lifts

Light week, but nothing yesterday

 

Elliptical

1/4

 

Earned: Vidja games time!

Spent: Vidja games time!

Got my science victory on normal difficulty

 

Average intake: 1468

Protein: 106g  1/6

 

Added sugar: 24g 1/5

Sat. Fat: 13g 1/6

 

Reward (buy something fun): On Track

 

Write! Every! Day!

1/7

 

Reward (big ticket alcohol/food item within average): On Track

 

Study Sometimes!

0

 

Do Yer Chores!

Litter & some laundry folding

Earned: 1 smallish treat

Spent: 1 glass of Chocolate Shop wine (about 4 oz)

[Jord]

Still here and stalking! 

 

NF doesn't want me to just stalk with no comment or I lose you from my feed. So laaaaame. *creeps*

 

 

[ixaera]

2 hours ago, Taddea Zhaan said:

Still here and stalking! 

 

NF doesn't want me to just stalk with no comment or I lose you from my feed. So laaaaame. *creeps*

 Creep away!

 

Enjoy this ukulele cover

 

[ixaera]

5/16/17

choo choo

 

Lifts

Light week!

 

Low bar squats

1x5 45 lbs

3x5 60 lbs

 

Close Grip Bench Press

3x5 65 lbs

(wasn't supposed to be close grip, but I went on the other bench and well, was forced to it. stupid t-rex arms)

 

Reverse Hypers

3x5 bodyweight (just feeling them out)

 

Wide Grip Lat Pulldowns

3x6 60 lbs

 

DB Pullovers

3x8 15 lbs

 

Elliptical

1/4

 

Earned: Vidja games time!

Spent: Vidja games time!

Lost a duel map in like 5 seconds to Ghandi via religious victory, so started a new game with religious victory unchecked because with 2 players that mess is just OP

 

Average intake: 1513

Protein: 102g  2/6

 

Added sugar: 8g 2/5

Sat. Fat: 16g 2/6

My sugar was amazing. Everything was fun whole ingredients until the wine treat!

 

Reward (buy something fun): On Track

 

Write! Every! Day!

2/7

So little happening here, just barely enough

 

Reward (big ticket alcohol/food item within average): On Track

 

Study Sometimes!

0

 

Do Yer Chores!

a load of laundry, state inspection for car, dishes, cooked -- above and beyond so I earned a caffeine drink this morning too (note: I will probably always put car things in the above and beyond category)

Earned: 2 smallish treats

Spent: 1 glass of Chocolate Shop wine (about 4 oz)

 

beep beep we goin' places

 

Yesterday was ... just a day really. Called the car place to see if they expected the wait to be long b/c I wanted to come during lunch break and get this done. Phone lady was rude as hell, but as soon as I got there I could see why. She was wrangling all kinds of people, some rude, some clueless, and it didn't look like her coworkers interacted with her or helped her in any way at all. In fact, at one point she went to print something that I'd sent and it took a minute, and this lady comes up and goes "you have a line" then immediately says "can I help you" to me, so I said "she's already helping me" since the woman never waited for her coworker/employee to answer her. Wowzers. No doubt she is looking for another job. I was in and out in 20 minutes, though, just like she said I would be.

 

Worked from home and the busy crazy that was Monday did not carry over, and I was very sleepy, so I did a touch of housework and watched let's plays of Civ 6. Late in the day got a couple of new cases at least.

 

Cooked an amazing dinner of sauteed top sirloin (chopped up with sauce), baked some butternut squash, and had some of a pre-made red quinoa dish w/ chopped veggies. SUPER TASTY omg even Mr Ix liked it. 

 

Then proceeded to write a bit and play tons of Civ 6 again.

[ixaera]

5/17/17

removing obstacles

 

Lifts

None today RAST DAY

 

Elliptical

2/4

 

Earned: Vidja games time!

Spent: Nothing

 

Average intake: 1517

Protein: 116g  3/6

 

Added sugar: 23g 3/5

Sat. Fat: 18g 3/6

Some haphazard counting on sugar. I'm basically subtracting whole fruits and vegetables from the total til it's under 25, then i stop counting b/c I'm not grading myself on how much I went under or averaging it so why work harder

 

Reward (buy something fun): On Track

 

Write! Every! Day!

3/7

This week is so stressful so I'm barely squeezing out outlining and a few paragraphs here and there

 

Reward (big ticket alcohol/food item within average): On Track

 

Study Sometimes!

0

 

Do Yer Chores!

Some laundry stuff (errday), random tidying

 

Earned: 1 treat

spent: 1 glass of chocolate shop wine (last one! gotta spend treat points on other things now, and it's grocery day so time to pick)

 

So, our IT has been scrambling because of that hack vulnerability in the news, and I'm on call this week, so I've been up late nearly daily to make sure our data feeds don't get interrupted by server reboots, basically. Plus a giant web release tonight. Unluckiest on call week in my history here. Normal work has been crazy balls nuts also, with extra work all over the place (I REMEMBERED TO ASK FOR A TICKET ON ONE. PROGRESS.) and I'm stressed as all get out over here

 

HOO BOY as some would say

 

I'm also dealing with these mini-almost-not-quite-panic attacks which seem to coincide with noticing suddenly that my feet are swollen. I know, I know, BIZARRE sounding, but there you go. (I suspect thyroid trouble, possibly due to the added stress, maybe causing some upsets with my normally well medicated balance.) 

 

Today's tasks are dishes, more laundry, grocery shopping, and finishing off a baby shower gift. Some on call stuff will keep me up late, the end. (And again Friday & Saturday)

[Urgan]

15 minutes ago, ixaera said:

Normal work has been crazy balls nuts also, with extra work all over the place (I REMEMBERED TO ASK FOR A TICKET ON ONE. PROGRESS.) and I'm stressed as all get out over here

 

YAY for documenting your hard work. 

 

BOO from being extra crazy-stressed.

[ixaera]

1 hour ago, Urgan said:

 

YAY for documenting your hard work. 

 

BOO from being extra crazy-stressed.

 

BOOtimes are usually decent opportunities for some YAYtimes in terms of progress, aren't they. I'm considering just biting the money bullet and getting a massage soon. Those seem to help me manage anxiety a lot and I haven't done it in a minute. Money is tight though. It's technically always tight because I'm throwing almost every extra penny at a house project, but I'm also needing to get a piano moved* and that's expensive, plus it needs to be tuned also.

 

*My mother is a bizarre (but awesome) lady who willed her stuff to kids, and then instead of then waiting to die, just gave us the stuff she willed us? I don't know. She's very strange. She willed me a piano, but I haven't really had room for it, still don't, but I'm finally just making room like a good little daughter.

[ixaera]

5/18/17

just keep the train going above all

 

Lifts

Light week still (THANK GOODNESS)

Bulgarian Split Squats

3x5 30 lbs

 

OHP

3x5 45 lbs

 

Seated Leg Curls

3x8 40 lbs

 

Leg Extensions

3x8 40 lbs

 

Hammer Strength Behind-Neck Pulldown

3x8 60 lbs

 

Close-Grip Bench Press

3x5 55 lbs

 

Elliptical

2/4

 

Earned: Vidja games time!

Spent: Vidja games time! (Still have one in the bank too, which is GREAT because of reasons explained below)

 

Average intake: 1519

Protein: 108g  4/6

 

Added sugar: 22g 4/5

Sat. Fat: 10g 4/6

 

Reward (buy something fun): On Track

 

Write! Every! Day!

4/7

This week is so stressful so I'm barely squeezing out outlining and a few paragraphs here and there (still true)

 

Reward (big ticket alcohol/food item within average): On Track

 

Study Sometimes!

0

 

Do Yer Chores!

That list I posted yesterday went to the dogs because the piano movers are moving the piano TODAY, so I had to shift and spend time cleaning the area where the piano will go, since it will likely not move for many years once it's there. Plus, didn't want the visible part of the house to look TOO bad, though I lacked the energy to give that 100%, so it still looks like slobs live there. (Hint: They Do. I am one of them.)

 

Earned: 1+ treat

spent: 1 serving of shrimp chips

 

Making that a + because hooooo boy I cleaned a ton. The counters, the baseboards, ugh. Was at it a solid, work-filled hour. Definitely earned more than just 130 calories of chips.

 

This week is just balls af. I'm so ready for it to be over. My coworker tagged like two cases Monday and ignored the queue the entire rest of the week. Normally I'd be like, whatever, at least I'll do it correctly, but combined with working at night I am just a ball of crazy stresstimes

 

 

Gonna bite the $$bullet and get a massage soon. When? I dunno. I don't know if there's time in any day coming up any time soon, but hey. It's the thought that counts, right? Also I went a little overboard on a baby shower present because I'm a lunatic who can never pick between being the lame gift card person (this is usually me) and the person with a great idea (this is me maybe once a year).  I'm afraid they're going to be like "NO THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH" and throw it right out the window which is stupid b/c who would throw a gift out the window, especially one full of useful baby things

 

anyway

 

lunatic, signing off to eat TWO servings of shrimp chips :|

[ixaera]

Just now, ixaera said:

Spent: Vidja games time! (Still have one in the bank too, which is GREAT because of reasons explained below)

 

I, uh, never explained this. But it's because piano movers are coming this evening and I don't think I have time to stop off for elliptical things, but I need to video game like whoa.

[Urgan]

20 minutes ago, ixaera said:

 

I, uh, never explained this. But it's because piano movers are coming this evening and I don't think I have time to stop off for elliptical things, but I need to video game like whoa.

 

I thought the needing stress relief was pretty clear~ Get you a protein-dense treat and some chill time, STAT. And document the mess out of your work, you deserve to have a record of it. 

[ixaera]

5 minutes ago, Urgan said:

 

I thought the needing stress relief was pretty clear~ Get you a protein-dense treat and some chill time, STAT. And document the mess out of your work, you deserve to have a record of it. 

 

A coworker has suggested sushi for lunch, which may improve matters! I also forgot my badge today and ruined my cereal snack, so, it's just... like that... this week.

 

I actually was going to say a thing besides this, but I have completely and totally forgotten what it was

 

In other news, my Duel game with Japan in civ 6 is definitely going my way. Kicked their butts last night when they declared a surprise war, ended up getting a new luxury and a buncha gold out of them, plus the culture and science from all the plundering I did. :3 Probably about 100 turns max from a culture victory.

[Urgan]

10 minutes ago, ixaera said:

A coworker has suggested sushi for lunch, which may improve matters! I also forgot my badge today and ruined my cereal snack, so, it's just... like that... this week.

 

I actually was going to say a thing besides this, but I have completely and totally forgotten what it was

 

It's Friday. This week is almost over. Hang in there. The crunch is real, though. By June we'll lose 30% of our department. The work load won't change, though. 

[Jord]

1 hour ago, ixaera said:

Also I went a little overboard on a baby shower present because I'm a lunatic who can never pick between being the lame gift card person (this is usually me) and the person with a great idea (this is me maybe once a year).  I'm afraid they're going to be like "NO THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH" and throw it right out the window which is stupid b/c who would throw a gift out the window, especially one full of useful baby things

I am sure any gift will be appreciated. I've never been mad about a bad gift because I didn't have to pay for it. 

[ixaera]

SPEAKING of work stress

 

The only other person who does my job just turned in his notice. 

[Urgan]

49 minutes ago, ixaera said:

SPEAKING of work stress

 

The only other person who does my job just turned in his notice. 

 

Ugh UGH UGH. 

[ixaera]

[ixaera]

I have failed. Yesterday was off to a great start, until the baby shower. Where I had 2 mimosas then a rum drink then went with my best friend to the pub. Managed protein by accident, but did no chores at all, no writing, no nothing. Friday was OKAY, if higher calorie than planned, but Saturday was just the nail in the coffin. No rewards this week for me, but I learned something important.

 

That thing is that I really need to work on my discipline when in social situations that involve drink.

[Urgan]

You haven't failed, you just had a setback. +1 for keeping it honest, though. The new week begins in 3, 2, 1...

[ixaera]

19 hours ago, Urgan said:

You haven't failed, you just had a setback. +1 for keeping it honest, though. The new week begins in 3, 2, 1...

 

Yeah, I gotta learn to properly acknowledge life's sledgehammer for what it is. So frequently I just see myself not doing the things me and me agreed upon and wag my finger, but the truth is when shit gets hard it's not that it manifests as physical weakness all the time (or exhaustion). Sometimes it's mental weakness too. Trying to grow better habits is hard work and more likely to fail when work's got you on spin cycle.

 

It's a new week, so here's to dusting off and trying again. (With one new diet rule: one drink limit except when earned & intentionally taken.)

[Jord]

Here's to a new week. You got this!

 

[Urgan]

26 minutes ago, ixaera said:

 

Yeah, I gotta learn to properly acknowledge life's sledgehammer for what it is. So frequently I just see myself not doing the things me and me agreed upon and wag my finger, but the truth is when shit gets hard it's not that it manifests as physical weakness all the time (or exhaustion). Sometimes it's mental weakness too. Trying to grow better habits is hard work and more likely to fail when work's got you on spin cycle.

 

It's a new week, so here's to dusting off and trying again. (With one new diet rule: one drink limit except when earned & intentionally taken.)

 

Yeah, it's not fair to expect perfect discipline after what you've been through. Not the time to let yourself be in a position to have to exercise it when you're down.

[ixaera]

5/22/17

this week be like

 

Lifts

N/A

going to 4x this week, here's hoping. Snatch-grip deadlifts are making an appearance! If they feel bad, I have a backup plan.

 

Elliptical

1/4

 

Earned: Vidja games time!

Spent: Vidja games time, though really little, honestly. All I did was check my FFXIV lottery, do a few floors of potd, and check my squad.

 

Average intake: 1390

Protein: 104g  1/6

 

Added sugar: 17g 1/5

Sat. Fat: 10g 1/6

 

Reward (buy something fun): On Track

 

Write! Every! Day!

1/7

 

Reward (big ticket alcohol/food item within average): On Track

 

Study Sometimes!

0

 

Do Yer Chores!

Dishes, some laundry, cooked

Earned: 1 smallish treat

Spent: None, so one in the bank

 

Let's talk shop. Today was already hell. I don't know why life is doing me this way but here it is doing me this way. The guy who put in his notice didn't even pretend to tag things, and I worry that what he has open he is leaving me with in 2 weeks. Hopefully that's not the case, but I was working nonstop and had to leave lots of work open just because I was too mentally exhausted to continue.

What's mental exhaustion bad for? Writing & studying. But I'm trying. I had some ideas but no real time to implement them. I went by the rec center to do 30 min on the elliptical (gotta earn my GAMES), then had an idea to finally make my office livable (as opposed to only when I'm willing to move in there and hook things up so I can use the stand up desk, which I need to fix). It didn't work. My back was hurting within 30 minutes. I was pretty upset. I'm so tired of not really having the ability to use my sanctuary. I want to be in there, but there's no world in which it's comfortable. I'm scared to try buying special chairs because they're expensive and what if they don't work????

 

On the plus side, I've gotten a lot done. My car is inspected and registered (just need the sticker), my rollover funds that I was wrestling with challenges ago are invested in things, the piano was moved, and somehow I haven't had a nervous breakdown yet. 

 

Spoiler

I found out today that promoting someone from tier 1 is a no go. There's a hiring freeze and they can't promote internally or hire from externally. Tier 1 would be the best pool to pull from and I had my eye on three to interview to narrow it down. That would have been ideal. I hate to speak ill of anyone (especially in a public forum) but I have ALWAYS regretted that we didn't hire internally last time, because some basic stuff just never got learned and that made things hard on me unnecessarily. This was going to be a chance to rectify that and it's not going to happen. I'm not totally cynical, I have high hopes that the teammate who's going to train up and take over that spot can learn and isn't afraid to ask questions. My job casts a very, very, very wide net and you have to kind of learn a little about everything and get used to not knowing enough half the time. This last guy was pretty proud and wouldn't ask unless people were breathing down his neck. I think he avoided asking *me* personally at all, and I had gotten lots of complaints from people, to which I usually said that they needed to complain to their managers because I am in no way in a position of authority. I don't want to be that person. I'm not a manager, and I don't want to be one. If I were team lead, I would consider it my responsibility to pass on those complaints, but as a person who is not paid to be a Sr of any sort, NO thank you. nope

 

 

rant over probably

I have some optimism. I hope it's for a good reason, anyway. 

 

So, Mr Ix is skipping class and I'm coming to realize how dependent I am on him being out of the house week nights. When he's gone, I get the TV and peace and quiet all to myself. When he's home I basically have to listen to obnoxious UFC and BJJ videos or TV which makes it exceedingly hard to concentrate on writing. This is why I was scrambling to figure out my lady cave and why I was so upset when this latest attempt to be in there failed.

 

Pre-injury I was in the ladycave almost all the time. That was where I played games and watched tv and wrote, and anything really. When I hurt myself, I couldn't sit in my chair anymore and moved out to the couch where I could get in a pain free position and still use my laptop. The problem is I'm now more or less at Mr Ix's mercy because he doesn't have an office at all. I can't just shove him in mine  I can't just tell him to go away  I miss having me time and feel it pretty keenly when it's not there. Without the ladycave it's hard to come by. Suggestions welcome? Though really all I can think of is special chairs and I dunno how that would work out. vOv

 

Tomorrow is volume bench day & some squats.

[Jord]

That is really frustrating. It sucks to have worked really hard on a space to relax and hang out in and then not be able to use it because of pain. 

What kind of room do you have in the lady cave? Like in terms of new furniture/chair options? I know it's not the same as trying it out for hours, but most furniture and office supply stores have items on site that you could at least try out for 15 minutes. At least the office stores around here have chairs on the sales floor. 

[Urgan]

30 minutes seems like the magic number for pain appearing. If you can make it that long, seems like good odds for having found an acceptable sitting position?