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Fleaball: Slightly Alive


fleaball

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Thanks for all the congrats! This fucking root canal is harshing my buzz though. The temporary crown doesn't quite fit right and this morning it came loose. Made and appointment yesterday for this morning, they called yesterday to say the doctor wouldn't be in and rescheduled for tomorrow. I call this morning because of the loose thing and they're like "oh yeah come in anytime before 3, no problem." Argh. 

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Crown re-glued. Ugh. It's so unpleasant and everything hurts, wah. Poor baby. 

 

So I had to register this internship as a pass/fail in order to graduate, and I passed. Whee. But that was based on an evaluation they sent my supervisor. Which I apparently got a 92/100 on. My knee-jerk response was "what the fuck, if there's room for improvement, why haven't you told me?!" And now I've calmed down and while I'm still wtf-ing at it, I care less. Like, of course I'm not going to get a perfect score. But I'm clearly doing well enough that they asked me to stay on an extra semester, including like 8 weeks beyond what the schedule was for the intern program here. I'm wondering where I lost points but I also don't want to ask. Maybe if there was a question on taking initiative? But it's hard to do that because I'm not actually involved in anything and have to wait to be given an assignment. I frequently ask several people if there's anything I can do in general as well as "I know you have X coming up, what can I do to help with it?" And it's always "I'll let you know." Which is fine, there's a process, I get it. But it's annoying at the same time. Beyond that... there's one thing I did last semester that was probably terrible but I was told "here, do this thing but I don't have time to show you how" so oh well. 

 

I should stop thinking about it. But I have nothing else to do to distract me from it. >_>

 

eta: I've had a shit ton of doctor appointments this semester but I always clear them first, count them as my lunch hour, and have always gotten my work done. I've taken time off to go home but I don't think they'd hold that against me given the circumstances. Who knows. 

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Aaaaand my pulmonologist appointment tomorrow just got rescheduled for 3 weeks from now because they forgot to tell me that she changed from being in the office on Thursdays to Wednesdays. Today would have been a perfect day to go since no one's here and I have nothing to do but yeah why would my life work out like that. Goddammit. 

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42 minutes ago, fleaball said:

Aaaaand my pulmonologist appointment tomorrow just got rescheduled for 3 weeks from now because they forgot to tell me that she changed from being in the office on Thursdays to Wednesdays. Today would have been a perfect day to go since no one's here and I have nothing to do but yeah why would my life work out like that. Goddammit. 

 

Doctors are dumb. 

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Well, I missed some drama it seems LOL.

 

YAY for pretty much being done!  I stress out about all kinds of stuff that turned out I didn't need to stress over.  At some point you'll get used to that and not stress AS MUCH - but you'll still stress.

 

Supervisors at work will never, EVER give you a 100%.  On anything.  It is seriously like some sort of collective mind thing.  I have actually asked at reviews - what else I could POSSIBLY have done - and was told nothing.  Keep doing what I'm doing.  You learn to either not stress about it or just say fuck it.  Seriously.

Even if a doctor cares enough to think to notify you - the office manager of the office has to follow through.  In my experience - that ALSO never happens....

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21 minutes ago, Athaclena said:

Well, I missed some drama it seems LOL.

 

YAY for pretty much being done!  I stress out about all kinds of stuff that turned out I didn't need to stress over.  At some point you'll get used to that and not stress AS MUCH - but you'll still stress.

 

Supervisors at work will never, EVER give you a 100%.  On anything.  It is seriously like some sort of collective mind thing.  I have actually asked at reviews - what else I could POSSIBLY have done - and was told nothing.  Keep doing what I'm doing.  You learn to either not stress about it or just say fuck it.  Seriously.

Even if a doctor cares enough to think to notify you - the office manager of the office has to follow through.  In my experience - that ALSO never happens....

So much drama. I was (am) a mess. 

 

Believe it or not I'm so much better about stress now than before. If what happened this semester had been my first semester, I would have already quit school and resigned myself to working at McDonald's forever. No joke. I think part of my problem is that I have high expectations for myself - or possibly expect other people to have high expectations for me - so that I stress about not hitting those expectations when I've already usually done what's expected and/or acceptable. I'm slowly working on being more realistic. 

 

Haha yeah there's that too. I guess if you got a perfect score they'd have to give you more money or responsibilities or something? I'm over it now. But initially it was like okay, dafuq? 

 

Yeah, the woman who called me was like "I'm so sorry I didn't catch it sooner." So it was def on them, not the doctor. I thought it was kinda weird I hadn't gotten a reminder phone call, but I did get the auto-generated email on Monday so didn't think anything of it. I'm just glad I didn't go all the way out there tomorrow just to find out she wasnt there. It's just shy of a mile from work and is faster to walk than deal with traffic in the morning. I would've been pissed. 

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5 hours ago, fleaball said:

I'm wondering where I lost points but I also don't want to ask.

I'll preface what I'm about to say with "every situation is different"...

 

If you truly enjoy the type of work you're doing with the internship and would like to continue doing it in the future, there's absolutely no harm in learning (in a constructive way) what areas are out there for improvements. This is in no way mean to belittle what is an awesome score by any standards (92/100 is stellar performance IMHO).

 

You can always broach the subject with them completely outside the context of the details of the passing grade. It can be something as simple and informal as "I've really liked the internship and I'm glad that you're extending my stay. If there's any constructive feedback you have for me on things you think I could be doing better, or things you would like to see me doing but I'm not, I'd love to hear them."

 

Hopefully your supervisor understands how to provide constructive criticism - I just say be careful about how much you expect to get out of it. Some people are just terrible at how to give feedback or quantify reasons. They may have nothing substantive to offer, in which case I'd say keep doing what you're doing!

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24 minutes ago, Countess D'If said:

I'm finished! I'm trying to decide if I should go get some raising canes? I know I'm not supposed be eating fast food, or drinking soda, but that was exhausting and I feel like I really want some raising canes.

I just ordered ramen so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

 

1 hour ago, fireandlight said:

I'll preface what I'm about to say with "every situation is different"...

 

If you truly enjoy the type of work you're doing with the internship and would like to continue doing it in the future, there's absolutely no harm in learning (in a constructive way) what areas are out there for improvements. This is in no way mean to belittle what is an awesome score by any standards (92/100 is stellar performance IMHO).

 

You can always broach the subject with them completely outside the context of the details of the passing grade. It can be something as simple and informal as "I've really liked the internship and I'm glad that you're extending my stay. If there's any constructive feedback you have for me on things you think I could be doing better, or things you would like to see me doing but I'm not, I'd love to hear them."

 

Hopefully your supervisor understands how to provide constructive criticism - I just say be careful about how much you expect to get out of it. Some people are just terrible at how to give feedback or quantify reasons. They may have nothing substantive to offer, in which case I'd say keep doing what you're doing!

You made a very valid point: I hate what I'm doing and don't want to do anything related, so I guess I don't care. I think I'm still in school mode like "omg what did I mess up?!" The actual number doesn't count because it's only pass/fail anyway. I might ask on my way out at the end of the month but yeah, considering this isn't even tangentially related to what I hope to do, it's probably not worth the frustration or the pinging of my anxiety to ask about it. (I don't feel like I'd get anything constructive out of it tbh.)

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6 hours ago, fleaball said:

"what the fuck, if there's room for improvement, why haven't you told me?!"

There is nothing abnormal about feeling this way. well...at least I would too :). Whatever those points were could have been a snapshot in time that you can't do anything about and normally would have done better. 

 

You are 92% awesome, that isn't all bad...right? Keep doing you.

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You made a very valid point: I hate what I'm doing and don't want to do anything related, so I guess I don't care. I think I'm still in school mode like "omg what did I mess up?!" The actual number doesn't count because it's only pass/fail anyway. I might ask on my way out at the end of the month but yeah, considering this isn't even tangentially related to what I hope to do, it's probably not worth the frustration or the pinging of my anxiety to ask about it. (I don't feel like I'd get anything constructive out of it tbh.)

To me that's even better that you recognize it's not where you want to be. More power to ya!

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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Brb raging at my insurance company. They've denied an expensive claim for not having a referral from Student Health, except for the fact that the order was definitely signed by someone there. Also they're not processing my PT claims all of a sudden because I had PT elsewhere on the same shoulder last fall for a different reason, even though the current office called twice to confirm my benefits and was aware of this and the insurance company said that was fine, I still had 12 visits. 

 

I know all insurance companies are bullshit but I can't wait to get a job with decent insurance instead of these people. 

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22 minutes ago, NeverThatBored said:

 

Don't get your hopes up too much about other companies being better. :ambivalence:

I mean yeah I'm not expecting massive positive differences. But since my insurance is through the school I have to go there for literally everything or it won't be covered and their hours are super inconvenient if you don't live on campus, and they only ever want to refer me to nearby places when I don't live or work up there. I know there will be trade offs but meh. 

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17 minutes ago, fleaball said:

I mean yeah I'm not expecting massive positive differences.

The main thing to remember is that they are all bureaucracies. They live and die by the little forms and since there are a bazillion of them for every patient, and a bazillion patients, inevitably some will get lost. And no matter who lost the form, it will always be on you to replace them. It just is. Sigh impatiently, shake your head, then call whoever-it-is to get the replacement form sent.

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24 minutes ago, fleaball said:

I mean yeah I'm not expecting massive positive differences. But since my insurance is through the school I have to go there for literally everything or it won't be covered and their hours are super inconvenient if you don't live on campus, and they only ever want to refer me to nearby places when I don't live or work up there. I know there will be trade offs but meh. 

 

Yeah, the good thing about "real job" insurance (versus school insurance) is that in most cases, your need for referrals will go down significantly. I hate insurance companies though. I could rant for hours, but I'll spare your thread. 

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2 hours ago, fleaball said:

Brb raging at my insurance company. They've denied an expensive claim for not having a referral from Student Health, except for the fact that the order was definitely signed by someone there. Also they're not processing my PT claims all of a sudden because I had PT elsewhere on the same shoulder last fall for a different reason, even though the current office called twice to confirm my benefits and was aware of this and the insurance company said that was fine, I still had 12 visits. 

 

I know all insurance companies are bullshit but I can't wait to get a job with decent insurance instead of these people. 

It is company policy to deny claims if there's even a WHIFF that they can.  Keep pounding them, gather the info from your docs, generally it'll be fixed after a review.

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1 hour ago, Bookish Badger said:

The main thing to remember is that they are all bureaucracies. They live and die by the little forms and since there are a bazillion of them for every patient, and a bazillion patients, inevitably some will get lost. And no matter who lost the form, it will always be on you to replace them. It just is. Sigh impatiently, shake your head, then call whoever-it-is to get the replacement form sent.

Yeah, totally get that. I've had to call them so many times to sort out issues. (Usually their own fault.) 

 

1 hour ago, Sylvaa said:

 

Yeah, the good thing about "real job" insurance (versus school insurance) is that in most cases, your need for referrals will go down significantly. I hate insurance companies though. I could rant for hours, but I'll spare your thread. 

Omg yes. That's a good chunk of my issues. Like a lot of the problems I've had have been beyond the scope of the SHC (either because they were limited or just couldn't figure shit out) and it's obnoxious to need a referral for everything. They hate the process too, so that's something. 

 

28 minutes ago, Athaclena said:

It is company policy to deny claims if there's even a WHIFF that they can.  Keep pounding them, gather the info from your docs, generally it'll be fixed after a review.

Mmhmm. I haven't had time to call and I don't have a copy of the referral in question, but if I had to guess I'd say it's because the NP just signed her name and didn't but the school's name on it. I think you've missed a bunch of the past drama but luckily calling and fighting with insurance companies is one of the things that does NOT wreak havoc on my anxiety, so that will totally get done. 

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43 minutes ago, fleaball said:

Mmhmm. I haven't had time to call and I don't have a copy of the referral in question, but if I had to guess I'd say it's because the NP just signed her name and didn't but the school's name on it. I think you've missed a bunch of the past drama but luckily calling and fighting with insurance companies is one of the things that does NOT wreak havoc on my anxiety, so that will totally get done. 

I haven't gone back through old threads, but I get the feeling you've been dealing with health issues over the last couple of years which - unfortunately - teaches you how to deal with insurance companies.

 

I have a close friend with EDS (ehlers danlos syndrome) which cascades into a metric TON of other issues.  She's had more surgeries than any person should have to endure - AND worked in medical Insurance claim reviews before she had to leave the workforce - and still has to deal with the insurance BS.  It's a bit easier since she knows it in & out.  Still BS in my book and added stress she shouldn't have to deal with - but that's where we are in this country.

Anyway - I hope you get that all worked out soon.  And again - CONGRATS on finishing all of the work for you degree!

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