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Fleaball: Slightly Alive


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On 5/12/2017 at 10:42 AM, fleaball said:

Another ask the audience question: 

 

My therapist recommended asking people what I'm good at, since cover letters are the bane of my existence. (Her contribution: "if you're constantly pulling papers out of your ass and getting good grades on them, you have to be good at collecting and synthesizing data.") I realize you all only know what I tell you since we live in the interwebs, but is there anything that jumps out? Totally okay if there's nothing. 

 

Thanks friends!

 

Okay so hopefully I won't make anyone cry? :devilish:

  • You're a fantastic communicator.
    • The essays are one demonstration: like your therapist said, if you're pulling them out of your ass, it means you have the skills to create a sense of a cohesive and developed argument on very short notice. What many people need multiple drafts to do well, you can do on the fly because the synthesis and analysis is running as a background process in your head.
      • Note: you think these papers are crap because you know you can do better. I get that, believe me. I've been there. But guess what? The standards that you're meeting at your masters' program? Those are the standards. Like, go out into the world, and that's what will impress people on the job. I remember being at law school, throwing shit together at the last minute, topping the class, and being sure I'd be found out as a fraud when I was out in the real world. But out in the real world? I'd throw crap together in a frenzy and...yeah, the managing partners thought it was great. Congrats! You too have won the random genetic prize of having a brain that aligns well with the skills society values. You might need to get over weird feelings of guilt or being undeserving or whatever. But at least try to accept that yep, what you produce is what people are looking for. It's better than what other people can do even when they're trying harder. And maybe that's not fair, but it's still reality.
    • More proof: there's a reason that on a forum full of intelligent and well-read, well-spoken people, with a zillion different things to read, your threads are consistently so popular. You write compelling and relatable narratives. You're funny and personable. People read your threads because they're enjoyable and engaging.
    • At work you're consistently frustrated by crappy communication (assignments with incomplete instructions etc.) and I think that's because you just assume that the baseline should be completeness and clarity (and you're right) and that's how you approach your own professional communications. Super valuable for team coordination especially.
  • You're a god-damn juggernaut. I keep calling you that (hopefully you don't hate it, lol) for a reason. You are incredibly resilient and resourceful and reliable under pressure. You have been through more random disasters and roadblocks than I can even remember and you just keep going no matter what. Lots of stuff freaks you out, but nothing seems to stop you. A crisis happens and no matter how you might feel, it's the way you react that matters: you find a way to make it work. This is a pretty rare thing in the workforce from what I've seen.
  • You're good at juggling a lot of competing complex projects simultaneously, with tight deadlines. I see this all the time on your threads: you have little chunks of time to work on stuff and you have to pick what to do. You're really good at figuring out what has to happen now and what can wait. Similarly you're good at breaking stuff down into steps or component parts so that when you only have a little bit of time you can still get something done (even if you're working on your phone or other substandard conditions where most people would just say 'fuck it, can't do anything useful now')
  • You're good at seeing other people's perspectives, taking different priorities and values and backgrounds into account, and you put a lot of thought into how your behaviour is going to affect people. These are the kind of 'soft skills' that are hard to put on a resume but which make someone really easy and pleasant to work with. Especially when combined with good communication skills.
  • You're good at administrative navigation and paperwork and calling people and other logistical legwork that flummoxes a lot of people. Good at managing complex bureaucracies without getting intimidated. Thinking of everything from the course advisers (those people who kept giving you contradictory info about requirements) at your school to insurance companies to student loans and internship stuff. The simple skill of being able to understand complex rule frameworks and then do the things listed as required is the underlying concept of like 75% of all jobs in government/law/administration.
  • You learn things really quickly and you don't seem to be intimidated by daunting tasks. Or if you're intimidated, you just do them anyway. 
  • Really good problem solving skills.
  • You are extremely adaptable. This is partially related to the thing where you can manage crises and keep going but it's also a separate thing. Like you were talking about how it's weird that you got better grades this year than last despite having more on your plate. Except you're forgetting that part of what's happened is that you now have experience in the program, you've soaked in the norms and assumptions and conventions of the discipline which has allowed you to more easily produce the kind of work they're looking for. You don't notice it happening because it's just a thing your brain is doing. But you've learned the language, essentially. You learned how to produce what's considered good scholarship in the discipline.

It's really common for people who are intelligent and hyper-competent to feel like the things they can do are no big deal, because that's a natural way to feel when you're doing stuff that doesn't seem too hard. But try to remember that the reason these things are not hard for you is that...you're intelligent and hyper-competent. 

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So I said I was sitting out this round. Apparently I'm a liar. I'm okay with that. Why was I going to sit out: in the first two weeks I have two final papers, a presentation, a draft of a paper that w

I need a coffee but I'm too lazy to walk 850 feet to a Dunkins across the street.    I have a title for my next challenge and a vague idea for a theme and how to implement it, but no idea wh

11:15pm, 8.5 pages, and I'm about to send off one of my last 3 papers for grad school. Huzzah.

Note that I deliberately didn't read other people's answers to your question before I posted mine. So apologies if there are repeats, but I didn't want to influence my answer. And this way if you see stuff repeating over multiple people it's more proof that the thing is true?

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Welcome home to meeee! My father called at 7:25 saying the plumber was supposed to show up in 5 minutes. It's 7:50 and I've been sitting outside for 20 minutes and there's no one here. (My house is an absolute shithole so I have to take the guy through the garage to the cellar instead of the house. Whee.)

 

So much to catch up on here. I'll try to keep up this week but I always wind up getting behind when I'm home. Bleh. 

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First off, thanks for all the congratulations :)

 

On 5/15/2017 at 8:28 AM, Plazmotic said:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome a concept describing high-achieving individuals who are marked by an inability to internalize their accomplishments and a persistent fear of being exposed as a "fraud"

 

... AKA my life

hurr durr I totally knew this was a thing. Just forgot.

 

23 hours ago, Severine said:

Also you have really nice straight teeth, haha :D 

The power of braces! I actually hate my teeth so thanks lol

 

23 hours ago, Severine said:

I'm sort of flattered even though this kind of makes me sound like an evil witch?

I didn't mean it like that! I'm totally only making fun of myself because I cry at everything now.

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1 minute ago, fleaball said:
23 hours ago, Severine said:

I'm sort of flattered even though this kind of makes me sound like an evil witch?

I didn't mean it like that! I'm totally only making fun of myself because I cry at everything now.

 

Ooof ! I didn't respond to this either!

 

No evil witch suggestions here! I just meant that you are usually the one that brings out the big guns and comments just the right thing (which usually results in Flea tears). 

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16 minutes ago, Sylvaa said:

 

Ooof ! I didn't respond to this either!

 

No evil witch suggestions here! I just meant that you are usually the one that brings out the big guns and comments just the right thing (which usually results in Flea tears). 

Also this. 

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24 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Has no one made you cry yet?

Image result for cutting onions gif

 

No, actually. Possibly because I'm still like "oh that's interesting but I'm not sure it's true." I'm willing to accept that this is how I come across to people and there're some common themes so there must be something to it, but they're not things I see in myself. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

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2 hours ago, fleaball said:

No, actually. Possibly because I'm still like "oh that's interesting but I'm not sure it's true." I'm willing to accept that this is how I come across to people and there're some common themes so there must be something to it, but they're not things I see in myself. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

If we said horrible stuff would you believe us? Not that I have anything horrible to say, just wondering if you'd be more inclined to believe it because brains can be dicks like that. 

 

Any joy with the plumber yet? (No not like that! Although..)

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40 minutes ago, Severine said:

No pressure to reply, I didn't write it for a response.


Also don't take my witch credibility away, I was kind of enjoying the idea. 

You're totally a witch and the first thing I do when I get home on Thursday will be tell everyone how much you made me cry at dinner.

 

You said some interesting things though. Although I think I'll sit on it more because my first instinct is still to argue against it all. :rolleyes: 

 

29 minutes ago, Owlet said:

If we said horrible stuff would you believe us? Not that I have anything horrible to say, just wondering if you'd be more inclined to believe it because brains can be dicks like that. 

 

Any joy with the plumber yet? (No not like that! Although..)

It would depend on what you said. I can't think of specifics but when people have said in the past that I'm bad at a thing or can't do something, my initial response is "lol fuck you too." I shy away from praise but am usually resistant to being told horrible things. (Maybe the only good thing to come out of ~10 years working retail?) Unless you hit a sore spot or caught me on a bad day I probably wouldn't.

 

Ew no. Not with this plumber anyway. Yeah he fixed the problem in a few hours. Old house = ancient metal pipes that are slowly disintegrating. 

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4 minutes ago, fleaball said:

I can't think of specifics but when people have said in the past that I'm bad at a thing or can't do something, my initial response is "lol fuck you too."

Hahaha GOOD!

 

4 minutes ago, fleaball said:

 

Ew no. Not with this plumber anyway. Yeah he fixed the problem in a few hours. Old house = ancient metal pipes that are slowly disintegrating. 

Ehhh it was worth a (cheap) shot =P 

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5 hours ago, fleaball said:

You're totally a witch and the first thing I do when I get home on Thursday will be tell everyone how much you made me cry at dinner.

We can have a cry fest! Although a laughter fest would be just as good. Maybe crying from laughter? Could be worth a (not cheap) shot. ;)

 

5 hours ago, Owlet said:

Ehhh it was worth a (cheap) shot =P 

*thumbs up*

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Starting my day off right: calling my stupid fucking insurance company because they're stupid. 

 

Have done literally nothing challenge-related since I came home. Probably did my mantra Monday morning because that became a routine, but that fell apart as soon as I got here. I've done literally nothing else. Which is not surprising because this challenge was already a wash anyway. It largely came down to, "I'm so stressed that I don't have time/energy to do the things that will make me less stressed." Hopefully with all the free time in my future I'll get these routines locked down so that when I get a job and have other shit going on I won't have excuses. 

 

Hung out with @Severine and @Dagger last night. They're cool people. And not axe murderers. There was also yelling at each other and I'm pretty sure at one point Dagger pulled, "What would @Tanktimus the Encourager say?" Seriously, there are enough actual nerds on this site that we should have figured out teleportation already. Someone's slacking.

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2 hours ago, fleaball said:

Hung out with @Severine and @Dagger last night. They're cool people. And not axe murderers. There was also yelling at each other and I'm pretty sure at one point Dagger pulled, "What would @Tanktimus the Encourager say?" Seriously, there are enough actual nerds on this site that we should have figured out teleportation already. Someone's slacking.

This is a different portrayal of the event than was conveyed on either of the other two threads.

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4 minutes ago, Severine said:

I may have omitted mention of the (good natured) yelling but I can't deny it happened. Mostly @fleaball and I took turns making self-deprecating comments. @Dagger was better behaved, probably out of a deep seated fear of @Tanktimus the Encourager 

Lol. I am more afraid of Kate Marolt. She doesn't even need a stern look, just a gentle reminder about what words I use and that makes me really think about the words I choose to use.

 

But I'll gladly invoke Tank's name to bring the fear on in others. Muahahahahaha!

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1 hour ago, Severine said:

I may have omitted mention of the (good natured) yelling but I can't deny it happened. Mostly @fleaball and I took turns making self-deprecating comments. @Dagger was better behaved, probably out of a deep seated fear of @Tanktimus the Encourager 

 

1 hour ago, Dagger said:

Lol. I am more afraid of Kate Marolt. She doesn't even need a stern look, just a gentle reminder about what words I use and that makes me really think about the words I choose to use.

 

But I'll gladly invoke Tank's name to bring the fear on in others. Muahahahahaha!

Image result for this pleases me cat

 

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I need a coffee but I'm too lazy to walk 850 feet to a Dunkins across the street. 

 

I have a title for my next challenge and a vague idea for a theme and how to implement it, but no idea what goals to do. Mostly because I've attempted and failed the same goals so many times it seems useless to try them again. I also have zero faith in myself to stick to goals. Le sigh. 

 

Stepped on my parents' ancient bathroom scale this morning in my pajamas and it was not only 10 pounds less than I expected to see, but less than the last time I weighed myself at home. On April 2. I'm trying not to put too much faith in it because I honestly don't know how accurate it is, but I'm allowing myself to take a little bit of comfort in it today. 

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28 minutes ago, fleaball said:

I need a coffee but I'm too lazy to walk 850 feet to a Dunkins across the street. 

 

mmmmm.... donuts..

 

It is a good thing I don't havea Dunkin that close because I am pretty sure I would need to roll 18 or higher to beat the urge to eat a donut or 6 everytime I walked past.

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10 minutes ago, WhiteGhost said:

mmmmm.... donuts..

 

It is a good thing I don't havea Dunkin that close because I am pretty sure I would need to roll 18 or higher to beat the urge to eat a donut or 6 everytime I walked past.

Unfortunately they're like every 2 feet here and it's the most convenient breakfast ever. 

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