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Dagger Metamorphose Into a Nomad


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Oh, I do remember now!  It just that in my brain "travel card" = "travel document", rather than a credit/debit card, so I got a bit of a shock imagining you travelling without a passport! :D 

 

Are you proposing to do what advenchur kittehs above are doing and post selfies here? ;) 

 

 

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45 minutes ago, Vibrantella said:

Oh, I do remember now!  It just that in my brain "travel card" = "travel document", rather than a credit/debit card, so I got a bit of a shock imagining you travelling without a passport! :D 

 

Are you proposing to do what advenchur kittehs above are doing and post selfies here? ;) 

Yeah, not getting a passport or ID would have been a shocker! ^____^

 

Haha, I'm not much for selfies (that I first spelled it selfish because I type it so infrequently should tell you something, haha. And I don't mean that I think selfies are stupid, just how often I talk about them and which word I've written more often...), but they happen at times. And I hope to post pictures, now that I know about the album feature here, I could also post them to the forum.

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I don't have enough brain to quote from the last page but I feel like visa is accepted far more broadly than MasterCard? I vaguely remember this being a thing when I was looking for a travel card myself a few years ago, and I also remember being frustrated that all the cards I was looking at were Visas because I already had two regular visas and wanted a MasterCard to balance it out. 

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27 minutes ago, fleaball said:

I don't have enough brain to quote from the last page but I feel like visa is accepted far more broadly than MasterCard? I vaguely remember this being a thing when I was looking for a travel card myself a few years ago, and I also remember being frustrated that all the cards I was looking at were Visas because I already had two regular visas and wanted a MasterCard to balance it out. 

 I don't actually know. Dad suggesting getting a MasterCard for when I traveled the US for the first time a decade ago... Oh my gosh... a decade ago... Because he said that was more widely used there.

 

And as I understand it, most big banks in Sweden seems to figure MasterCard is the way to go. I've been talking today to the bank I thought I'd get a Visa from instead and learned they only let you apply for Visa if you are traveling somewhere where you can't use MasterCard. It didn't seem like they had any kind of real guidelines about what that meant. So they ask me to go to one of their offices and see... Really? Like I should make a big errand, go to their bank just to see if I can apply for a Visa, because they might say no because they barely use them anymore?

 

Nope, I've found a third alternative that I will probably contact in the next few days that have a Visa without a lot of hoops to jump through. They aren't one of the big banks in Sweden, so not as safe to use. But then this card will only be a backup, only a debit, and will just have a small amount sitting there for the eventuality that I need a Visa, but without much money to steal.

 

So yes, my quest for another card to shore up my security for travel is on-going and keeps having interesting (Chinese curse way) turns.

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28 minutes ago, Dagger said:

And as I understand it, most big banks in Sweden seems to figure MasterCard is the way to go. I've been talking today to the bank I thought I'd get a Visa from instead and learned they only let you apply for Visa if you are traveling somewhere where you can't use MasterCard. It didn't seem like they had any kind of real guidelines about what that meant. So they ask me to go to one of their offices and see... Really? Like I should make a big errand, go to their bank just to see if I can apply for a Visa, because they might say no because they barely use them anymore?

 

This sounds super weird. I don't know, I got a Visa from Skandiabanken for exactly the same reason without any issues. Have you tried them?

 

5 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Just about any place in the US that takes Visa takes Mastercard, and the other way around as well. In fact the stickers they give vendors to indicate they take credit cards usually has both on it.

 

Yep, typically there's not a problem using either card wherever I've been. But I've had my card fail on me either because the ATM was being dumb or because the card reader wouldn't connect. I don't think it's ever happened in the US to me personally, but in other countries it is definitely useful to have a backup.

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2 minutes ago, Mad Hatter said:

This sounds super weird. I don't know, I got a Visa from Skandiabanken for exactly the same reason without any issues. Have you tried them?

Right now, I seem to be attracting weird, or I'm just dealing with too many companies. I hadn't actually checked Skandiabanken, the next one I was planing to check was Länsförsäkringar. I guess I'll compare their cards and see which one would be cheaper and try that first.

 

Also for backups, I also have two mastercards so if it is just one card being silly I already have a backup, but my typical bank don't do Visa anymore.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Other fun fact: the bank ultimately behind the travel card (a smaller bank is the face of it you could say) actually have a Visa. Guess how long I thought about trying to get it? :P Also that is probably the most expensive bank to have in Sweden, they like their fees. (Personally I don't understand why they have customers still because they don't do anything better than other banks but they have fees for more stuff. Like for completely normal banking things they'll have fees. The only fee I pay to my bank is for one of my credit cards and I could dump that one and pay them nothing.)

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18 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Just about any place in the US that takes Visa takes Mastercard, and the other way around as well. In fact the stickers they give vendors to indicate they take credit cards usually has both on it.

Yeah, most places in the world takes both (unless it is Netherlands who only takes Maestro (and possibly Visa)... or maybe that have changed, and it probably doesn't include Amsterdam). But then there are pockets that don't, and I don't want to be without access to my bank funds just because I happen to be in a pocket of the world that decided to only use Visa.

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18 minutes ago, Mad Hatter said:

I got a Visa from Skandiabanken

I just double-checked this card's fees and such and they are pretty great (not as good as a proper travel card would be, but better than my current cards). They are actually so pretty great that this would be the card I used with ATMs because it has no fee for that anywhere. So I guess I'll try them first.

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Day 1 of Before the Move

2017-04-20

 

So today I didn't do what I planned, but I still did a lot of planned things. What what what? you ask.

 

Well, I had planned to put my electronics up for sale today, but yesterday while planing (and planing today's tasks) I also scheduled some errands and they happened to fall on today. As one errand turned to two, I realized I was less likely to do the planned task, but thought that for once I don't want to take out defeat ahead.

 

I had hoped I was in a better mental space, so I could handle changing my plan if it was turning out like I couldn't get to the big task of putting stuff up for sale.

 

And I was right. Yay!

 

I actually also added another errand on, so I now have shipping boxes for the books that will go to a friend. I also basically decided to myself that I will only fill those boxes with books, if I turns out I have waaaay too many books I want to keep after filling them I'll think about getting another box. But I really am trying to not impose too much on friends and family. (I kinda failed with my parents.)

 

So I got tires changed on car (unfortunate task that just needed to get done), finished fixing with the internet company (hopefully), got those boxes, and ended the errands with picking up some groceries.

 

Then I came home, relaxed for a bit and then dove into the card stuff I talked about above. I now have a account with one bank and tomorrow I'll call them about getting a fair assessment for a card (read not only look at my income but my savings that proves I can keep a DEBIT card funded easily).

 

Then because that didn't feel like enough I spent 10 minutes fixing so I have my address changed from the right date (we have centralized government agency that takes care of that, also happens to be our IRS) plus I made sure any mail sent to my current address will be forwarded to my new one for a year. Boom!

 

So I did a lot of stuff on my list that hadn't been specifically scheduled. I also took care of some household chores that needed to be done.

 

And also, and also! I meditated this morning, plus I even wrote a little.

 

Today did not turned out as planned, but dang it, was it a good self care and productive day. :D

 

PS. I also just finished scheduling all tasks I can. A few depend on other people and those I'll schedule when their back in my court. :)

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Day 2 of Before the Move

2017-04-21

 

So today wasn't quite as successful day. Today I was supposed to do three things: find all salable items and put them in a pile (I had most of them since before), take photos of all items, and create a FB album and share it on buy&sell groups for my area.

 

I did all but the last one. Mainly because I procrastinated/took too many breaks. So lets see if I can review and find where I could have done better.

 

Lets start with the self care, what I did and didn't do:

  • I got up at my usual time and had gotten to bed at a reasonable hour the day before
  • I did a one card tarot reading
  • I did NOT meditate
  • I took a walk; I was very restless so I just needed to do this
  • I read A LOT of fiction

So part of the culprit is reading such a good book I felt compelled to go back to it again and again and again. However, the compulsion didn't entirely come from the book; it definitely had elements of the dark playground and of needing to escape.

 

So anxiety issue here: I feel really anxious about putting my stuff up for sale. I don't know entirely why. Part of it is however needing to have strangers come by to actually pay me and pick up the items. That is something that I really don't like, because in general I'm not that comfortable anxiety-wise around strangers.

 

So I see two main causes for my inability to get to the tasks in a timely manner, which lead to me not having time to finish all tasks (despite the first two taking maybe 30 minutes together).

  1. Anxiety. This is the obvious one and one I knew I would struggle with. I managed through most of the day to not feel the anxiety, but that also meant I was off following all other things of desires instead. I was restless and listened to my body so I took a walk (I'm not saying this is a bad thing, it really isn't). I listened to the anxiety energy and didn't meditate that would really have helped. I let myself be pulled into my book again and again because I wanted escape from a task I really didn't want to do.
  2. I guess I mentioned it in number 1, but I skipped meditating. Meditating is probably something that would have changed the day for a whole lot better. And I resisted it because that is what my energy patterns and habits say in these situations. My normal pattern is to burrow down and pretend the world doesn't exist. This usually means I stay indoors and I read read read read.

That said, this day would have been so much worse a few months ago, maybe as far back as last fall to be more accurate. What I got done despite anxiety:

  • I took a walk. I actually took a walk.
  • I started the dish washer.
  • I did a load of laundry.
  • I took a shower. (I don't care well for myself when anxious.)
  • I cooked in a way I usually don't when anxious and even when not anxious.
  • I did do two of the three tasks for the day that created anxiety.

All of those household chores? Anxiety have in the past always made me ignore them so hard that when I come out of anxiety the first thing I have to do is to take care of household chores so I can live with myself. (A pile of dirty dishes in the kitchen makes my anxiety worse.) So keeping up and doing more of them than usual means I don't have to make them up later.

 

I also got mostly done with my tasks. Now I need to upload the pictures from my phone to my computer. Then I need to upload them to Facebook. Then I need to go through and set prices and add info (such as models and specs on electronics). Then I need to make sure there is a list of all the items on the album with the ones I want to sell most going first.

 

Oh, btw, anyone know in which order the photos show in an FB album? Oldest photo uploaded first? (I want the most expensive items first because the rest I'm willing to donate if I don't find a buyer for.)

 

Those things I can do while I do other things today and technically over the next few days. Except of course that I now move in one week and three days and I need them for sale ASAP, so I have a chance of actually selling them.

 

Ah well... it'll go as it goes. My dad said I could take the unsold electronics to them since I can always try to sell them later. (The other stuff isn't worth keeping to try and sell later.)

 

So... the only real failure of the day was actually avoiding meditating. There is the fear there that meditating would crack my emotions and anxiety open. The thing is that it has never done that before. Yeah, sometimes it hasn't calmed the emotions much, but it has never made me more anxious. Well, except maybe one time. But I can choose a meditation I know is safe. And I have a 3 minute long meditation that is safe and so short.

 

Part of it is that meditation haven't been part of my self care for long, and I still default to my less effective self care habits when the anxiety is strong. That doesn't surprise me. It takes time to change deep ingrained habits and energy patterns, because part of it is how I've patterned when I feel anxiety. What I do follows that pattern. You'd have to ask Kate to explain it more, because this is still very instinctive and intuitive knowledge for me so I don't have words to describe it with.

 

Perhaps: so when I feel anxious, there is this feeling inside me that tells me what to do. Part of it is the anxiety talking, part of it is the part of me that want to heal the anxiety. So those feelings/voices guide me in what I do. I try to listen more to the healing voice, because listening to the anxiety voice doesn't help matters instead it keeps the anxiety steady or makes it worsen. And my success of listening to the healing voice is dependent on how well I follow the voice or how strong the anxiety is in any moment (which is why I've learned to jump on any action I know is actually helpful when I feel like I want to do it, because while anxious that feeling only survives for short periods and can then take hours to reappear, and following that feeling of wanting makes it easier to do the self care I need). My healing voice haven't yet picked up on how helpful meditation can be to deal with anxiety. It is like the activity is too new in my life, so the healing voice thinks it'll take too much energy to start it that it doesn't suggest it.

 

That is kind of what I mean with energy pattern. Those "voices" aren't actually voices. They are feelings in my body, thoughts on the edge of my mind, urges and cravings, compulsions and inertia, and more.

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1 hour ago, MichiruSedai said:

I spent most of this week caught up in reading books, so I totally am on board with that kind of procrastination, LOL

 

And I hear you on the anxiety of dealing with strangers (selling your stuff) - that would make me super anxious too.  Hugs!  Good luck!

Haha, I don't mind reading a lot. I really like when I do that. I like it even better anxiety doesn't drive me to it, but I'm sure you understand that. :)

 

Thanks. *hugs back*

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8 hours ago, Dagger said:

I'm not that comfortable anxiety-wise around strangers.

 

This is one of the reasons I feel your travel challenge is so powerful. You're pushing your boundaries by choosing a journey that will put you in the path of strangers from all over the place, and yet you have anxiety around strangers. I know you can do this because you're awesome.

 

8 hours ago, Dagger said:

I took a walk; I was very restless so I just needed to do this

 

This is usually the #1 reason I take walks. Restlessness.

 

It was a good week, even if you feel like it wasn't. You're making progress. Just keep at it.

 

IMG_1648.jpg

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9 hours ago, Dagger said:

Part of it is that meditation haven't been part of my self care for long, and I still default to my less effective self care habits when the anxiety is strong.

Hah!  I've been meditating for over a decade, and it's still the first thing I drop when the anxiety rears its ugly head.  Probably because I feel I have no time for mindfulness, I should be acting, running around, rushing...  Easy to spot from a distance, not when you're bang in it!

 

You've still done a lot, though.  Just keep going, you can do it!

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38 minutes ago, Wolfen said:

This is one of the reasons I feel your travel challenge is so powerful. You're pushing your boundaries by choosing a journey that will put you in the path of strangers from all over the place, and yet you have anxiety around strangers. I know you can do this because you're awesome.

I want to put like a small qualifier on it. That it isn't as bad when I'm not in a place I own. It is like I don't like unreliable actors (I don't know them, do I?) in my home space, which goes "nicely" together with my control need.

 

But I do get anxious around strangers or at least uncomfortable, more so when I don't get the time to settle into myself. Basically, the more time I spend around strangers the worse it gets, there is also factors of how close I am to the strangers. Am I at a networking event where I'm supposed to talk to them: it is worse. Are we just sharing the same street: pretty mild to non-existent unless other stressors are there too.

 

I guess this is also a way of working with it, right? Of reducing my anxiety by building skills and coping mechanisms that will give me everything I need to handle strangers. I don't expect train it all away, as I said, it gets worse if I have other stressors working on me too. But perhaps I can reduce it so it is barely there or only comes with really bad other stressors.

 

43 minutes ago, Wolfen said:

This is usually the #1 reason I take walks. Restlessness.

I know I need a walk when my heels starts going up and down so my knees are jumping. It doesn't make a sound, and I'd be seriously annoyed if it did.

 

I've also started to realize I get restlessness in my fingers which is for a completely different thing (when I haven't been writing fiction). I see this as a good development because if I can listen to those body signals, I can start to make sure I never go too long without writing.

 

Huh, I guess you could say that my mind gets restless (or lack stress relief) if I don't read fiction since I always get moody if I don't read for a week or so.

 

Interesting thinking going on here.

 

45 minutes ago, Wolfen said:

It was a good week, even if you feel like it wasn't. You're making progress. Just keep at it.

 

IMG_1648.jpg

Thanks. Sometimes it feels like I'm walking through mud and getting nowhere. Next it feels like a smooth nice path in a forest. Same for if I think I can finish in time; sometimes it feels like I have all the time in the world and next instant/minute/hour/day it feels like there is no possible way.

 

So I appreciate the confidence and the cheering. I really do and I really do need it. More or less a little every day. Yeah, I can pull myself up, but it is nice having you guys to help me. :)

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25 minutes ago, Vibrantella said:

Hah!  I've been meditating for over a decade, and it's still the first thing I drop when the anxiety rears its ugly head.  Probably because I feel I have no time for mindfulness, I should be acting, running around, rushing...  Easy to spot from a distance, not when you're bang in it!

Heh, good to know. I especially find it funny since I have a 3 minute guided meditation. When do I NOT have 3 minutes? Never. So yeah, it is so silly to drop, but as you said easy to see in hindsight, very hard to notice as it is happening.

 

26 minutes ago, Vibrantella said:

You've still done a lot, though.  Just keep going, you can do it!

Thanks. :) As I said to Wolfen above, I really appreciate hearing this. It helps knowing I have a cheering squad, cheering just for me (and other NF peeps!). :)

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4 minutes ago, Dagger said:

Interesting thinking going on here.

 

Agreed!

 

My restlessness is more mental/psychological than it is physical. First I crave movement, like a sudden hunger to get up and do something. Luckily, with my job I can usually satiate that hunger by taking a walk.

 

5 minutes ago, Dagger said:

So I appreciate the confidence and the cheering. I really do and I really do need it. More or less a little every day.

 

And you are welcome, since you certainly do the same for me. :)

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6 minutes ago, Wolfen said:

My restlessness is more mental/psychological than it is physical. First I crave movement, like a sudden hunger to get up and do something. Luckily, with my job I can usually satiate that hunger by taking a walk.

Hmm, that is very true too. Like if I have a heavy thinking/planing day, my feet definitely show the restlessness that comes from working to mentally heavy that day; not that I necessarily deplete my mental energy, but the balance between physical, mental and spiritual is off and that makes me all restless too. 

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Day 3 of Before the Move

2017-04-22

 

So, this morning I imported the photos from my phone and I half started a FB album with the photos of things I will sell. Then... I never got further on this task. Well, technically I imported some more pictures since i found a few more things that can be sold. At this rate, I won't sell most things because people will only have one week to buy them.

 

In the afternoon I should have technically cleared 27 spaces (one third of what is left), but I only hit 19. Better than nothing for sure, and I went through some of the more annoying ones. Or potentially annoying ones. Actually, I think my pantry and cleaning/supply closet will be the most annoying.

 

My pile of books is looking way too big potentially. But I won't have to pack them just jet. I technically think I might have to double check the order I've planned things.

 

*pauses to check*

 

Nope, I'd been good and made sure I finish playing with all items before I have to go give to charity and recycle. You see, there is an interesting problem when you move out after a long weekend. Basically I need to get all charity items out on Friday (I suppose I could have them in my car in worst case scenario) because they won't be open again until the day I move out (Tuesday). Recycling is open for a little while on Saturday if everything doesn't get there on Friday, but still. I'll have Sunday and Monday fully to finish of the last things and by then I have to be pretty much done with stuff. I need to have packed my travel stuff enough so I know I can fit everything. The books also have to be shipped on Friday latest.

 

I hadn't thought of that little nice problem. At least it forces me to have quite enough time for cleaning so that is something.

 

Oh, I also quickly spent a little time filling in some information on some pictures. Names of products and my price and price of a new one (on those where it is relevant and easy to check, aka on IKEA stuff).

 

But to do the rest, I'd have to check up on technical stuff about computers and such which means digging through my email, so I'll do that tomorrow morning.

 

Ugh, now it is 23:00 and I'm really tired. I accidentally stayed a little longer than wanted on computer. Now to read and sleep...

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