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Dagger Metamorphose Into a Nomad


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Oh my...

 

I finally pressed publish on my Facebook selling album and it was such a weight off my shoulders. So I did that before lunch and realized I needed to just get everything up for sale to have the task done.

 

So after lunch I did that and then... I got caught up emotionally in selling. I've now sold a bunch of stuff (because someone bought 10 boxes at once... otherwise I'd say I've sold a few things), one of them was even worth something nice.

 

So somehow it is now 17:00 (5 pm) and I have done no real decluttering. Although I could count three spaces since I had to empty those boxes so I could sell them. Of course, I only dumped the stuff on the floor, but now it is part of the floor space...

 

It would be good to do some decluttering today or else I'll have so much to do tomorrow and I don't want my tasks to be continually pushed back, because I don't quite have time for that.

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I'm really glad you got some stuff sold (and got that weight off your shoulders) but man, you certainly have a cornucopia of stress to deal with right now. You're doing really well handling it I think, but I know that doesn't necessarily make it feel easy. But at least it's easier than it would be if you didn't have good coping skills developing. I especially liked the post where you talked about the difference between what a bad day would have looked like in the past when you had less ability to do stuff (like cooking, walking, tidying) when stressed. I think, just like you said, it's important that we aim for incremental improvement (which is possible!) rather than instant perfection (which is not) because aiming for a possible thing is the act of someone who really cares about themselves and wants to improve. Aiming for an impossible thing is the act of someone who has already decided they are doomed for failure and isn't focused on true progress, just on punishing themselves. You're solidly in the first group and that is amazing :D

 

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13 minutes ago, Severine said:

I'm really glad you got some stuff sold (and got that weight off your shoulders) but man, you certainly have a cornucopia of stress to deal with right now. You're doing really well handling it I think, but I know that doesn't necessarily make it feel easy. But at least it's easier than it would be if you didn't have good coping skills developing. I especially liked the post where you talked about the difference between what a bad day would have looked like in the past when you had less ability to do stuff (like cooking, walking, tidying) when stressed. I think, just like you said, it's important that we aim for incremental improvement (which is possible!) rather than instant perfection (which is not) because aiming for a possible thing is the act of someone who really cares about themselves and wants to improve. Aiming for an impossible thing is the act of someone who has already decided they are doomed for failure and isn't focused on true progress, just on punishing themselves. You're solidly in the first group and that is amazing :D

 

Thanks. And I did take a walk this afternoon to help me climb back into my body and not be off in the clouds with my thoughts chasing each other about people you know contacting me to buy stuff.

 

I always try to remind myself of where I was before, because I've done a lot of progress. It helps me on days where I feel like I didn't do enough because I can directly compare and say "dude, you did loads". :)

 

I feel some gratitude that my sell posts have now fallen far enough down in the Facebook groups that someone won't just stumble on them. And now I'm only waiting for a message from someone wanting to buy my DVD player, so we'll see how that goes. If I haven't gotten a new message by tomorrow I'll put it back to unsold. So basically, I should be pretty done for the day right now.

 

I think I'm just going to do dinner early and see if I can get some decluttering done afterwards.

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35 minutes ago, deathbyshiny said:

You always have so much going on! I totally commend you for getting it done, even if it doesn't happen exactly when you want it to, it still happens! I look at some of your lists and go O_O. Haha! You got this!

You are not the first to say this, but I think it might finally be starting to sink in. From my perspective, it feels like my list isn't as long as it really should be and that I could never do enough. Part of that is my nice neuroses, and another part is having had very adulting adults around me as I grew up (at least with most things), so I feel like I'm always falling short of that.

 

I guess it really is all my neurosis of never feeling enough. Like I can see so many ways I could do more, be more. Like I feel like I am settling with the list I'm doing. Don't get me wrong, I'm going further than I have during previous moves (not only in the having to get rid of stuff department either), but I'm still not up to my ideal I suppose.

 

Anyway, thank you. :) 

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Day 4 of Before the Move

2017-04-23

 

Geez, is it only day four since I started this new challenge this way. (And I shouldn't forget day 0!) I feel like I've been at this for so long. *stops to check calendar*

 

This is the end of week 5 from when I sold my house (not counting a weekend of planing, so could call it five and a half weeks). I've been go, go, go, for five whole weeks. Sure I had that week last week when I didn't do so much. But still...

 

Five weeks.

 

Only one more to go, plus a couple of extra days.

 

So what did I do today:

  • I got rid of the anxiety around selling by finally putting up everything for sale. As the day went on I realized I had forgotten a few things. I'll add them tomorrow or so.
  • I sold a bunch of stuff to two people, plus I potentially have another sale depending on if she ever gets back to me again.
  • I went ahead and cleared 15 spaces of the 31 I would preferably have done today. (This leaves me only 47 for tomorrow, I actually can't quite clear all of them, but it'll be like 5 or so I can't clear)
  • Oh and I started the dishwasher because that is such a chore, lol.

Outside the moving out mission, I have:

  • Gotten up in time (right around 8)
  • Meditated
  • Drawn a tarot card
  • Taken a walk

~*~*~*~*~*~

 

A few days ago I made an addition to one of the habits I hit 100 days on in my last challenge. Remember the "Buy only 1 sweet per shopping trip"? Now I've also added "and none is allowed if you have at home". That should make it that I only ever have one sweet thing available. Perhaps eventually I can have another addition that talks about amount (I never buy crazy, but if I buy a cake and can't get a slice or two, guess what? I buy the whole cake.)

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2 hours ago, Dagger said:

another part is having had very adulting adults around me as I grew up (at least with most things), so I feel like I'm always falling short of that.

I guarantee you those adultier adults thought they weren't doing enough and struggled with feelings of inadequacy.

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9 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I guarantee you those adultier adults thought they weren't doing enough and struggled with feelings of inadequacy.

Oh, I am sure. And of course, they are adulting in areas I struggle, while I can adult more easily in other areas probably. ^___^

 

Everyone else always feels more put together than we are ourselves. All because we can't hear each others thoughts of doubts, longer lists of things to do, etc.

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Just spent like two hours building a huge house for my sims. (They are a foursome.) And the house is like super super big since I choose a 50x50 lot and every room is like huge and I still have so much space. I guess there is room for children's bedrooms down the road without having to give up the four offices (one for each person, right?).

 

It was kinda fun, but they don't have wall paper of windows really. I ran out of money. Plus there needs to be a lot more stuff everywhere, like carpets, plants, art, some comfy furniture for the living room and lounge (yes, they have a lounge). And more... When I have the money. ^____^

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I'm following along for your challenge. You're doing what my husband and I had hoped to do with our teens before my leg started having issues and my mom's cancer reared its head. I'm so excited for you. :) Our trip is on hold until next year when my foot is put back together. 

 

I can totally relate to the anxiety of selling everything. I'm not a fan of people sorting through my things and then bargaining with me for a better price. Even though I decided to sell the item and don't care to keep it I'm always surprised at the emotions that pop up. Imagine the relief that will set in once all of that is behind you.


 

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7 hours ago, Jayniana Jones said:

I'm following along for your challenge. You're doing what my husband and I had hoped to do with our teens before my leg started having issues and my mom's cancer reared its head. I'm so excited for you. :) Our trip is on hold until next year when my foot is put back together. 

 

I can totally relate to the anxiety of selling everything. I'm not a fan of people sorting through my things and then bargaining with me for a better price. Even though I decided to sell the item and don't care to keep it I'm always surprised at the emotions that pop up. Imagine the relief that will set in once all of that is behind you.

I'm sorry about your mother. Sounds like there is a plan for your foot and I'll cross my fingers that everything goes well so you can travel.

 

So far, no bargaining have been done in person, only over Facebook so that feels okay. Plus for many of these things I'll just give them to charity if I don't sell them. The only exceptions being the electronics where I can get a good amount of money for them.

 

But yeah, I try to remember the end point. The point where I've dealt with it all and I'm rootless. :)

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5 hours ago, Dagger said:

I'm almost giving away a DVD and Blueray player for $5.5 and someone is asking for a $1.1 discount... Really? REALLY?

Let us just say, that I said no and the sale didn't happen and I really don't care.

 

In better news I sold something else more expensive today, plus a pile of other stuff that I'll actually ship because it was friend (friend and her boyfriend (who is an ex of mine)). Actually that pile had one expensive thing in it, so it'll be worth it. Even if I'll have to deal with irritating shipping. ^____^

 

As to how it is going with my clearing... ... ...

 

Also, it is snow and I no longer have snow tires on my car and I need to drive tomorrow. I hope it stops before there actually is snow on the ground or it should all melt away before I have to go anywhere.

 

I went outside trying to catch the ice cream truck, I could hear the jingle but it wasn't on my street.

 

I crave sugar, right now.

 

I am not in a bad state. But I am not in a good either. I really need to get back to clearing, but I really don't feel like it.

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2 hours ago, Dagger said:

Also, it is snow and I no longer have snow tires on my car and I need to drive tomorrow. I hope it stops before there actually is snow on the ground or it should all melt away before I have to go anywhere.

 

I went outside trying to catch the ice cream truck, I could hear the jingle but it wasn't on my street.

 

Sweden is a magical place, where the ice cream truck still comes when it's snowing :D

 

Sorry you're not feeling like cleaning. Can you choose some good cleaning music? I have a cleaning playlist (I have a playlist for everything) and sometimes I like to blare it really loud (one of the advantages of owning your house - use it while you can) and clean up a storm.

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4 minutes ago, Severine said:

Sweden is a magical place, where the ice cream truck still comes when it's snowing :D

Before this it hadn't snowed more than in five minute hopeful snow flakes for like a month. It actually kept for a while, not sure if it is snowing still because it is dark outside. I just wish the ice cream truck had actually been on my street. Although it is probably better that it wasn't because I'd abuse it tonight.

 

5 minutes ago, Severine said:

Sorry you're not feeling like cleaning. Can you choose some good cleaning music? I have a cleaning playlist (I have a playlist for everything) and sometimes I like to blare it really loud (one of the advantages of owning your house - use it while you can) and clean up a storm.

I was wrong in my previous post, this is more than not just feeling like it. Otherwise I do always put on music when decluttering.

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I just realized my post above didn't even mention anxiety and stress and now I also feel down. However, sugar cravings is a sure sign I am feeling anxious/upset or so, because they always come then.

 

I hoped some meditating and dinner (more energy) would get me in the mood or at least able to do it. But now I'm suddenly sitting here with tears in my eyes and I'm just tired.

 

I'm so tired.

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On 4/23/2017 at 2:14 PM, Dagger said:

You are not the first to say this, but I think it might finally be starting to sink in. From my perspective, it feels like my list isn't as long as it really should be and that I could never do enough. Part of that is my nice neuroses, and another part is having had very adulting adults around me as I grew up (at least with most things), so I feel like I'm always falling short of that.

 

I guess it really is all my neurosis of never feeling enough. Like I can see so many ways I could do more, be more. Like I feel like I am settling with the list I'm doing. Don't get me wrong, I'm going further than I have during previous moves (not only in the having to get rid of stuff department either), but I'm still not up to my ideal I suppose.

 

Anyway, thank you. :) 

<3

 

Our own worst critic is ourselves.

 

I'm sorry to hear you're so tired though. It still looks like you're accomplishing a lot. I wish you luck with the rest!

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40 minutes ago, Dagger said:

I just realized my post above didn't even mention anxiety and stress and now I also feel down. However, sugar cravings is a sure sign I am feeling anxious/upset or so, because they always come then.

 

I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling down :(  Exhaustion can be so demoralizing. Maybe get to bed early tonight and set your alarm for an hour earlier than normal? You'll probably accomplish more in a well-rested hour tomorrow morning than you would in six exhausted hours tonight.

 

giphy.gif

 

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3 hours ago, Severine said:

 

I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling down :(  Exhaustion can be so demoralizing. Maybe get to bed early tonight and set your alarm for an hour earlier than normal? You'll probably accomplish more in a well-rested hour tomorrow morning than you would in six exhausted hours tonight.

 

giphy.gif

 

Agreed. I employed this tactic today to get my evil presentation done. Sleep is never a bad choice!

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10 hours ago, Severine said:

 

I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling down :(  Exhaustion can be so demoralizing. Maybe get to bed early tonight and set your alarm for an hour earlier than normal? You'll probably accomplish more in a well-rested hour tomorrow morning than you would in six exhausted hours tonight.

 

giphy.gif

 

If it had been physical exhaustion, this would have been true. But it soul/emotional exhaustion.

 

I did go to bed about an hour earlier, but left my alarm at its normal time. I'm not feeling like just crying anymore, but I'm still soul tired.

 

I should never have looked how long I've been doing this. But I think it is mostly the high anxiety during the weekend and the low-grade anxiety that I still feel that is the culprit of taking me from my careful balance to just tired.

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6 hours ago, annyshay said:

Agreed. I employed this tactic today to get my evil presentation done. Sleep is never a bad choice!

Sleep is the best healer though. Of course, it can't heal a deep wound/exhaustion in one go unfortunately. But it'll get me there. :)

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Anyone else obsessively listen to one song when feeling in certain moods? Like, right now I'm playing Busy Doin' Nothin' from Ace Wilder. I don't even own the song, so I keep clicking to replay it on Youtube (I'm sure I could figure out how to put it on repeat with a play list or something, but that is too much work). I actually tried to listen to another song and my mind just went "nope, not right sound".

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I just called the vaccination clinic and moved my appointment from today to Thursday. That way I don't have to get in my car and drive with summer tires on potentially snowy/icy roads. So glad they had another time this week and that it happened to be Thursday. Thursday was the best day to move it to.

 

So much more positive right this minute.

 

Now, I'm gonna visit facebook for the first time, check messages and also upload a couple of more pictures of stuff, and then once again post to the buy&sale groups. Then my plan is to meditate and hopefully I can hold on to this positivity and finish decluttering today.

 

I think I can do it.

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