Hello There!

[Veleda]

Hi all,

 

I'm Hayley, I'm 53 years old from East Yorkshire, England. I'm 5' 5" and at 200lbs am past obese. I have lost 14lbs in the last six weeks... A start but one hell of a way to go! Losing weight is not my goal, feeling healthy and alive is and unfortunately the two go hand in glove! 

 

I have Achilles tendonitis and some calcification going on in my ankles and have made the symptoms worse by pounding away on a treadmill with little results to show for it. Feel strength training may be the way forward? Tried every new diet, super food, fad, exercise  blah blah... (Have drawers full of "underpants" Mr Kamb). Still over weight, unfit & unhealthy! Have been giving the Paleo-ish diet a go, quite enjoying it so far rice being my only miss. 

 

I have recently found myself flying solo and I realise I've spent so long making decisions based on others I don't have a clue how to look after or be by myself and it's frickin daunting! So this week I made my first solo trip to the cinema and enquired about joining a Tai Chi class... small steps right? 

 

Logic tells me I'm better off out of a dead relationship and I really believe this is an opportunity to write my own story instead of being a bit player in someone else's. I'm excited and a more than a little scared, Think I'm going to need all the help, support and encouragement you guys can spare. 

 

Thanks for listening.

Hayley

 

 

 

 

 

[Guzzi]

Hey @Veleda!  I'm also from the uk, though I'm a bit further north than you.  

 

I unexpectedly found myself single for the first time in my adult life back in 2013, and yeah, it was scary!  I found that I loved the freedom I suddenly had, the ability to come home as late as I wanted, no having to be home to cook dinner, being able to do whatever I wanted.  I had never been single before and I found that very liberating.  I wanted to take some time to find out who I really was when I wasn't part of a couple.  It takes time to get over the end of a relationship though, and it can be a rocky path.  Just know that you will come out stronger and more in control of your own destiny. 

 

If theres anything I can do to help you find your way around the forum then just ask.  

[Veleda]

Thanks Guzzi, It is hard, my biggest problem is we run a business from our home (my home) He's here every day at some point and it's just not financially viable to walk away. I'm trying to look at it as a means to an end, it will give me the freedom and funds to live My ADVENTURE and you are so right that is very liberating! Next move is to join the academy and then one step at a time, looking forward to moving onwards and upwards as you have. Nice to know you're all out there. Thank you! 

[Guzzi]

Ooooh, ouch!  That's gotta be very emotionally hard on you.  My own situation is different (possibly easier???) to most people's in that I was widowed, I never had to deal with all the emotional fallout that comes with the end of a relationship, but you're never getting a break from it!  I mean, it's great that you are able to communicate well enough to run the business together, but that's still gotta be very difficult.  Even if you were the one to say goodbye (obviously I don't know) it's gotta still be really hard to have to see him every day.  You have my major sympathies.

 

I imagine you've already thought of all this, but would you be able to designate a part of the house that is "the business" so that you would have areas that were purely yours and he wouldn't go into?  Just to give you some sense that your home was your own and if you could escape if you needed it?  Obviously without knowing the nature of the business I'm stabbing in the dark, but my family ran their own business with their home attached and they needed to use part of the house as an office, a store etc.  They had a clear designation of where the business ended and their home began and staff weren't allowed to just wander through.  It really helped.

 

Have you had a chance to look through the forum yet?  I've never joined the Academy so I can't give you any advice on that but I can help with any aspect of navigating on here.   There's a new 4 Week Challenge starting on Sunday if you wanted to join in?  (That article is a few years old, the challenges are only 4 weeks long now, but the principle is still the same)  There's a great page with all the rules/guidelines and FAQs here if you fancy it.  

[Veleda]

I'm very sorry to hear that Guzzi, different circumstances but certainly not easier I'm sure you had a whole different set of emotional struggles to overcome. Nah unfortunately I still love the old ferret to bits, he traded in (not for the first time) but this time I had a little more love and respect for myself and know without a doubt that eventually I will end up in a much better place.

 

We have a plumbing & heating business, he's the engineer and I run the customer base and accounts. The house is ours 50/50 and If I can stick it out for a while longer it will fund my future Epic Quests. It's a good idea to keep things as separate as possible will look into adapting one of the bedrooms maybe. I used to be a senior in a dementia home but 12hr shifts became too much for my crapped out ankles so again if I can make it work the job suits my needs down to the ground I just have to make sure that working from home I'm careful not to become isolated and that I work at creating a life outside these four walls.

 

I have not got any further on navigating the forum than this board  but will def have a look at the four wk challenge. Thank  you for throwing out your hand I browsed the board 3 times before I had the nerve to post, worrying about what I would have to bring to the table, I see you've reached out to welcome many of us newbies and that goes a long way. I guess the more you post the easier it gets so off I go....

 

Thanks again!

 

 

[LaScozzese]

Man that sounds tough emotionally, you're a better person than me being able to put up with it!

 

As you said on my thread earlier, from one noob to another... hello and best of luck! We're all in this journey together...

[Guzzi]

Well, I have a huge respect for you.  It takes a very strong person to walk the path you've chosen, hats off to you.  I don't think I would be strong enough to go through it. 

 

If you get stuck and need any help then just shout me.