Darkfoxx 36: Rebuilding A Solid Base - Again - And Maybe For Good This Time

[darkfoxx]

Continuing on the trend of trying to rebuild my damn good habits this go round. Maaaaaaaaybe something will stick this time, eh? 

 

Goals aren't really changing much - maybe adding novel accessory work is just the kick in the pants i need. Buckle up for a brain dump. 

 

 

Goal The First: Work Out

 

 

I am still sucking at making this a consistent thing in the face of having an inconsistent schedule. This is something that is always going to be difficult for me given my love of routine. This is also something I need to actively fight to work on - coasting isn't going to get it, waiting for a stable schedule damn sure isn't getting it - actively working against my need for order is pretty much the only thing that's going to work here. I need to tell my brain that the world is not going to stop spinning on its axis if I don't work out at 5:00 4x a week. I don't *have* a 5:00 4x a week. 

 

Now, that's not to say I'm going to be radically changing things (to am workouts ... eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww) or dropping responsibilities that are either actively making me the benjamins or will lead to future cheddar. I'm more going for a 'stop in the face of schedule panic, look at the panic, identify the panic, and tell it to go F itself' kind of thing here. Baby steps. My brain is not going to melt if I work out at 3:30. I'm (sorta) unemployed, for jibbers' sakes. 

 

What I'm thinking:

Start trying out yoga studios either near home or school or both. 

Get all up in this 14-day yoga challenge

Come up with some sort of accessories thing - like 50 squats a day for a week - something I can do while cooking, watching tv, or taking a pee break during class

 

 

Goal The Second: Quit Eating Like A Damn Ninny -- AGAIN

 

 

Seriously. I can't be trusted with 2 variances a week, because apparently that means in my little raccoon brain that I can visit the uber fancy-ass coffee/"healthy" food place and eat damn dessert (because it's not a sandwich and it's cheap). 

 

When did dessert - even healthy dessert with mostly paleo ingredients - become ok in my brain? I don't even really like dessert.

 

Why do I keep getting it, then? 

 

Ohhhhhh yeah. Keto. Keto increased my intake of sweet stuff from zero to 'every damn thing has Stevia in it let's eat a zillion Quest bars because that's all I can have' mode. 

 

Thanks, me. Gooooooood thinking. 

 

I really don't want to have to Whole30 it to break this mental cycle - especially not with class starting back up in a couple weeks - but I will if I must. 

 

Until then, I'm going for a more balanced approach to thinking about what I am shoving into my face. 

 

Fats: Good - but not allthefats because I'm not operating under the cloak of fat burning 

Carbs: Okayish. Don't eat allthecarbs but don't eat keto-few carbs. I missed kale and pineapple

Fruits: Moderation, yo

Veggies: Eat more of these and more variety - broccoli and kale are the jam, but other veggies exist

Meat: Let's not go back to 'all meat all the time' snacking, shall we?

Nuts: I'm finally almost tired of nuts - except hella expensive macadamia nuts and cashews

Other Snacks: I need to calm down on the packaged snacks. Quest bars are great, but I don't need more than 1 a week - and that one, only in an emergency

Sugar: What the Serious F is going on here? Dates: still sugar. Cacao: Always has sugar. Stevia: Yep. It's sugar. Sthaaaaaaaap

Dairy: Also stop. Cow milk hates me. Other animal milk is ok, but not when it makes cow cheese a thing in my head. I've been pretty good here recently, but this always needs work unless I'm strict paleo-ing it

 

So, what does that leave me? 

 

Back to paleo land. Which is a land I'm comfortable in. I lived in harmony there for a couple years. I need to go back. No crazy other hard stuff until I get back to that land and sit there for awhile. 

 

Also. Contemplate going back to tracking macros. I know what works for me: 70g or under on carbs, 100g or under in fats, 70g or so of protein. It works when I'm consistent. My calories are sometimes too low, buuuut I can fix that with more fat since I'm still in fat = yummy mindset. 

 

 

 

Goal The Third: Get A Job - Or More Of A Job 

 

 

I've got my hated copywriting gig, a part-part time teaching gig, a part time teaching gig coming up, and that company I've poured hours into in hopes of eventually garnering a paycheck. 

 

I need to continue on working to get some gainful employment situation happening.

 

I'll be pretty wiped at night, so networking events most likely won't be happening once class #2 starts up. 

 

I need to continue:

 

Submitting 10 applications a week

Working on my portfolio

Learning CSS Grids while I'm at it

Practicing something related to HTML/CSS or Javascript daily 

 

Other things I need to do:

Build out my "formal" UI/UX portfolio a bit

Work on more graphic designy things I actually want to show people - like SVGs (consequently, there's another 50-day challenge for SVGs I could do)

Work on networking through my social groups (I'm a part of a few online tech and womens' groups)

 

 

 

Goal The Fourth: Rando

 

 

Keep the house clean

Go take pictures

Go for a ruck

Explore the neighborhood

Work on the deadline-driven craft project I've barely started

Do what I can where I can to make living in Suburban hell a little better for myself

Find peace on mass transit while I'm stuck there for 1:30 often 

Get back to doing the things I enjoy doing, despite now having 4 hours of my day being taken up by transporting myself a couple times a week - like recipe creation and blogging. And a zillion other things. 

Not worry about how much more difficult that shit is going to get if I get an office job

Fit QT in with the DH since he's now busy at night too with BJJ

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Wild Wolf]

44 minutes ago, darkfoxx said:

Back to paleo land. Which is a land I'm comfortable in. I lived in harmony there for a couple years. I need to go back. No crazy other hard stuff until I get back to that land and sit there for awhile. 

 

You were always rockin with Paleo as far as I was concerned. You go dis, Foxxy! 

 

Also, WOOT WOOT! First to post!

 

Wolf

[EricMN]

Here for some "get out of own head" solidarity.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Following along as someone who also struggles with eating healthy.

And because I'm glad you posted a challenge.

[Sloth the Enduring]

Following.

[maegs]

[darkfoxx]

HAI GUYS!!!

 

Ummmm ... inadvertent earth face dropping off of there.

 

Quick recap:

 

Friday:

 

Things were good mostly. Went grocery shopping while starving and bought gyro meat + roasted sweet potatoes for dinner to go with vegan cream cheese that didn't work but was still tasty - bought a bunch of random crap - +2 bouquets because our anniversary was the next day - + a $20 can of anniversary coffee because wtf is a can of $20 coffee at Trader Joe's anyways?

 

Saturday:

 

The garden in the building had a kickoff party - it was cold and rainy, so we went to that and got Day drunk instead of also going to a SI festival a mile or so away. Had a good time.

 

Made slightly bad food choices - ordered delivery from a place that last time gave me chicken & broccoli - no pasta - and this time gave me a pound of damn pasta. Ate 3 ziti noodles, decided they were garbage, picked around it for the chicken & broccoli.

 

Sunday:

 

A friend was coming by in the afternoon, so we domestic rangered in the morning and walked to a burger bar for lunch. Had the monthly stump the chef/chopped dinner in the building - had a great time nerding out over food at that; was not Paleo.

 

Today:

 

Back on the tracking wagon because I've felt bloated and fat for 4 days

 

Someone has requested office hours today, so that's thrown a big wrench in my yoga plan - I'll try to do something somewhere.

 

I have homeworks to grade today so I most likely won't get much more done on the work front.

 

And I have zero idea what I'm making for dinner but need to have some shit ready since I leave for office hours at 4:30 and get back at 9:30.

 

 

For those of you that don't follow me on Facebook:

 

This is the anniversary I mentioned:

 

 

That one on the left is the DH - this be us, 11 years ago. We were so adorable back then.

 

 

 

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[Fonzico]

Whoohoo!

Peanut butter challenge time! Peanut butter challenge time! (Okay, no, not literal peanut butter. Sunflower butter maybe.)

 

Anyways.

 

Wanna trade side eye on food decisions? I am sick of eating like a ninny. Not gonna do it anymore.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Why haven't you aged in 11 years?

[darkfoxx]

@Fonzico: Yeeeeeeep. Me too. Let's keep each other accountable!

 

@Tanktimus the Encourager: I don't know about all that. While I'll give you looking much younger than I am, I used to get carded regularly back then. Now? Not so much. Granted, I don't smoke any more either...

 

 

 

 

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[darkfoxx]

Yesterday

 

Goal 1: Work Out

 

I only do it to avoid side-eye.

 

Did a 12 minute abs-focused yoga thing before leaving the house because I wanted to avoid Internet Side Eye.

 

Goal 2: Macros

 

Calories: 1,599

Protein: 64

Carbs: 67

Fats: 121

 

Breakfast: Green smoothie & coffee

Lunch: ummmmm..... something? I can't remember. Oh, roast beef, vegan cream cheese & mayo roll-ups

Dinner: Zoodles & gyro meat & marinara

Ferry Snack: Macadamia nuts

 

Goal 3: Get A Job

 

Got my formal rejection from last week's interview - they went with someone with more formal experience, per usual.

 

Held office hours and got to help a student who has all the enthusiasm and is in the process of trying to figure out what she wants to do with her life.

 

Worked on CSS Grid & my portfolio a bit

 

Graded homeworks all morning. Not being in class to see the students makes grading harder and less satisfying.

 

Goal 4: Rando Shit

 

Did some pre-cooking for later in the week

Looked up how to make yogurt because the DH could use more probiotics so he doesn't bring home MRSA

Ordered a new kombucha scoby because we managed to kill ours

House was cleaned & dishes were put up

Did a couple seconds research into cutting household waste

Started a freezer compost bag in the hopes the garden in the building will need compost soon

 

 

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[Fonzico]

Preeeeeee-cooking! Making yogurt, yeah. It took her soooooo long to clean up, I cleaned up. *Guitar solo*

 

Why yes, all of my replies ARE going to be bastardized song lyrics, thanks for asking.

 

Good food eating and making! Side eye avoided!

[Terra]

When did your hubby start BJJ?  

 

I'm continually impressed by how much you do and get done every day.  Half the time I just want to fall into a book and ignore the world (did that last night, bed time shifted from 10pm to 12:30am, ugh!)  If you need a whole30 buddy let me know.  I need to get my eating back to clean-ish paleo too!  

[darkfoxx]

@Fonzico: Keep 'me coming!

@Terra: it helps when you barely work and have no kids.

 

The DH started BJJ maybe a month ago? He's generally the smallest in the class, and spends a lot of time pinned under big 200-lb dudes so far, but he's liking it. And it's starting to give him a kick in the ass nutrition-wise.

 

 

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[darkfoxx]

Yesterday

 

Goal 1: Work Out

 

Did Day 1 of the 14-day yoga thing: a 45 minute class with lots of hip and chest openers and twists.

 

Man, it's been awhile since I've done a long class - and boy did my muscles need it. My left shoulder feels like wood it's so jacked.

 

Goal 2: Macros

 

Calories: 1616 [x]

Protein: 84

Carbs: 69

Fat: 113 [x]

 

Breakfast: Smoothie & coffee

Lunch: Decadent af bowl of avocado, double-smoked bacon, vegan cream cheese, eggs fried in buffalo ghee & chives

Dinner: Paleo Thai spaghetti & meatballs

Snack: Macadamia nuts

 

Goal 3: Get A Job

 

Applied for 10 jobs

Copywriting

Worked on my portfolio - didn't get anywhere

Read more on CSS Grids

Signed up for a 100 day UI challenge that is going to take me forever

Set up an informational coffee meeting at a company that isn't hiring but is kinda interested in my background

 

Goal 4: Rando

 

Dishes were cleaned but left in the dishwasher, so dinner dishes were left in the sink.

 

Living room was at least picked up.

 

The DH came home in a state, so that was fun. Ended up talking about Dr. Rhonda Patrick and what cool biohacking thing of hers is going to cost us money now. Luckily, it's a relatively cheap thing: broccoli sprouts. Bought a sprouting kit last night and the DH has decided he's climbing back on the smoothie train.

 

Yogurt is waiting until we get a viable kombucha deal going and this sprout thing takes off.

 

We may be able to get cultures from the gardener - he's recently made some great yogurt.

 

Aaaand the DH vetoed replacing all our cleaning products with hippie versions. He says we're hippie enough and there is no way I'm getting my hands on his antibacterial bathroom cleaner.

 

We use Method, so at least the stuff we have doesn't make me sick -- but it's still corporate shit we probably can live without. He's potentially on board with my plan to swap out detergent for soap nuts & wool dryer balls.

 

 

 

 

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[Fonzico]

 

Aaaand the DH vetoed replacing all our cleaning products with hippie versions. He says we're hippie enough and there is no way I'm getting my hands on his antibacterial bathroom cleaner.

 

We use Method, so at least the stuff we have doesn't make me sick -- but it's still corporate shit we probably can live without. He's potentially on board with my plan to swap out detergent for soap nuts & wool dryer balls.

 

 

 

 

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So apparently my sister's hubby threw a fit when she told him she was going to make her own laundry soap, and demanded that she buy detergent for his clothes! Quite the demand from someone who doesn't do his own laundry... Lol

 

I pretty much exist on two types of homemade cleaner. A diluted vinegar solution with tea tree oil and bergamot oil works for almost everything - bathroom surfaces, kitchen counters, spot cleaning the floor, mirrors, dusting etc. Tea tree is antibacterial, and bergamot is antiseptic, so IMHO it's more than enough for the bathroom.

 

Then I use a mix of white vinegar and dish soap (which isn't really natural or hippyish, but it sure is cheap!) It works like a freaking charm on the bathtub. Spray it down, let it sit for a while, and the soap scum and anything else just wipes off.

 

 

[Terra]

LOL - Method is too hippyish for my hubby!  

 

That sounds right.  Pinned under the big guys, that's how BJJ begins!  Just wait till he figures out how to get out from under those guys.  Us smaller peoples just have to move fast and they can't keep up!

 

[miss_marissa]

Love your analysis of your eating habits!

So great to see what does and doesn't work and how we evolve over time.

[darkfoxx]

@Fonzico: That's almost exactly what I wanted to use. I may end up swapping the kitchen spray out anyways when it runs out.

@Terra: it was a process. He was freaked out by Method, too, but seeing what a fair amount of that other shit does to me (red and watery eyes, gagging and retching, scratchy throat, nausea and jacked mucus membranes for days) he came around and abandoned his beloved Formula 409. And all bleach products.

 

Life is hard when you're a delicate princess.

 

As for BJJ, he's having fun but is in the 'is this an injury I need to rest or do I need to push through?' Stage. Someone hyperextended his elbow - so that now hurts. An old rotator cuff injury is barking again. He feels generally worn down & lethargic. Aaaand his mood has been really off the last few days.

 

Hopefully this all will sort itself out and not involve massive medical bills.

@miss_marissa: thanks! Sometimes I need to step back and re-set when something is no longer working for me. Going back to basics is hopefully the reset I need to move forward.

 

 

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[darkfoxx]

Yesterday

 

Goal 1: Work Out

 

Day 2 in the 14-day yoga series. This one focused on nailing the basics. Lots of time in plank while activating core muscles, lots of work on pinning those shoulders back.

 

Lots of attacks by the wiener(dog).

 

Goal 2: Macros

 

Calories: 1,733 [x]

Protein: 108 [x]

Carbs: 64

Fat: 118 [x]

 

Ooooooohhhhhhhkaaaaaay. I was hungry all damn day and went to bed hungry.

 

Breakfast: Green smoothie & coffee

Lunch: Yuzu slaw & leftover Thai meatballs

Snack: 1/4 cup macadamia nuts

Dinner: 6 ounces flank steak & green beans baked in bacon fat

Snack: 1/4 cup raw almonds and barely salted cashews

Snack: Another 1/4 of that shit because I was still hungry

 

And then I spent the rest of the night thinking about food and dreamed I went snack shopping at a convenience store.

 

Goal 3: Get A Job

 

Worked on my portfolio unsuccessfully (& practiced Grid)

 

Copywriting

 

Goal 4: Rando

 

Dishes put up and loaded; dishwasher is full again.

 

Dinner pans were not cleaned.

 

Living room was picked up & bed was made.

 

No crafting or other shit was completed.

 

Watched my kind of reality tv: the season finale of Face Off, Cosplay Melee & Forged In Fire. Played a bunch of Mah Jong on my phone.

 

 

 

 

[Fonzico]

Yesterday

 

Goal 1: Work Out

 

Day 2 in the 14-day yoga series. This one focused on nailing the basics. Lots of time in plank while activating core muscles, lots of work on pinning those shoulders back.

 

Lots of attacks by the wiener(dog).

 

It is a good thing you clarified. Otherwise that could have been a very racy yoga session [emoji14]

 

Goal 2: Macros

 

Calories: 1,733 [x]

Protein: 108 [x]

Carbs: 64

Fat: 118 [x]

 

Ooooooohhhhhhhkaaaaaay. I was hungry all damn day and went to bed hungry.

 

Breakfast: Green smoothie & coffee

Lunch: Yuzu slaw & leftover Thai meatballs

Snack: 1/4 cup macadamia nuts

Dinner: 6 ounces flank steak & green beans baked in bacon fat

Snack: 1/4 cup raw almonds and barely salted cashews

Snack: Another 1/4 of that shit because I was still hungry

 

And then I spent the rest of the night thinking about food and dreamed I went snack shopping at a convenience store.

 

I had a day like that yesterday too. At least we fed our bellies with proper food (and zero Paleo junk food!)

Take the win.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

4 hours ago, darkfoxx said:

Calories: 1,733 [x]

Protein: 108 [x]

Carbs: 64

Fat: 118 [x]

 

Ooooooohhhhhhhkaaaaaay. I was hungry all damn day and went to bed hungry.

 

Breakfast: Green smoothie & coffee

Lunch: Yuzu slaw & leftover Thai meatballs

Snack: 1/4 cup macadamia nuts

Dinner: 6 ounces flank steak & green beans baked in bacon fat

Snack: 1/4 cup raw almonds and barely salted cashews

Snack: Another 1/4 of that shit because I was still hungry

You'll get no side eye from me. Those are good numbers and good food.

[darkfoxx]

Yesterday

 

Goal 1: Work Out

 

Nope. Had a long day instead

 

Goal 2: Macros + A Little Of Goals 3 & 4

 

Noooooooooope.

 

The day started off great - had a smoothie made with broccoli as most of the greens & coffee.

 

Lunch was the leftover paleo Thai spaghetti & meatballs

 

And then I went to my free company meeting.

 

Where I successfully avoided peanut butter cups, only to stop in my favorite cafe for an after-meeting coffee & snack because I was starving to death.

 

Had a date truffle because it was $1.50 and came with a free large latte with cashew milk.

 

And found out there was a launch party in half an hour featuring the entire menu being passed around on trays.

 

I *had* to stick around instead of jetting off to the resident meeting I wanted to go to for the building.

 

Had bite-sized or two-3 swallow portions of: a few cold pressed juices that were all spectacular; a cacao smoothie; avocado, veggie patty, the best tuna salad I've ever had & salmon sandwiches on spelt & millet bread; avoided all desserts; a kale salad I can't wait to get more of; a quinoa salad that was also fabulous; a latte; a golden milk latte.

 

All of these bite-size pieces amounted to a sandwich, half a salad, and about a drinks' worth of beverage.

 

Was wanting to eat again on the ferry, stopped at my favorite fancy grocery before hitting the train for a side of jap chae with sweet potato noodles & a side of a Brussels/kale salad I'm totally going to recreate.

 

Went to bed hungry and feeling bloated.

 

Goal 3: Get A Job

 

Found out the founder of the free company is quitting his job next week to focus on the free company. Hopefully this will translate into cash flow.

 

Things are still not right with the site; a cousin of the founder is heading to Bangladesh for family reasons and is visiting the dev shop to yell at them/get the boss' mother to yell at him.

 

Goal 4: Rando

 

After the snacks, headed down to SoHo with the "coworker" I hang out with to check out a sample sale (which was a bust). Visited Birchbox after.

 

Made another ferry friend. Some random guy chatted me up about: marriage, relationships, *67, Pitt bulls, home ownership, his girlfriend who lost her only child, and snow.

 

Ran into another ferry friend on the train who had an amazing day (last day of teaching for the year + opening of his art show) & then the gardeners from the building. Ended up hanging with the gardeners and feeding them seltzer water.

 

 

And that was a busy day. Got home at 10:30, hung with the gardeners for 15 minutes or so, walked the dog in the salty fog, cleaned the house & hit bed half an hour or so before the DH got home late from work.

 

Today should be much less eventful. I'm fitting in yoga, and eating right until the single beer I will have when we go check out the local brewery/hotspot after the DH gets back from BJJ. We may or may not have ribs for dinner next door to the brewery - depends on the DH's food schedule.

 

 

 

 

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[Fonzico]

I'm exhausted just reading about your day! So social. Much talking. Friends.

 

What was in the tuna salad? Inquiring minds want to know. I am also looking forward to the kale/brussels recreate!

 

Also Mom-yelling is generally a highly successful form of motivation.

[darkfoxx]

@Fonzico: I'm not sure and I may have to get the sandwich some day to research further.

 

From the menu:

 

 

It may be the vegan mayo ... their vegan cream cheese is to damn die for.

 

 

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