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14 hours ago, Kishi said:

Well, I mean, I figure I might as well since I'm shooting for a daily calorie target. It doesn't feel like a big step, and it's easy, since most of the people around me are more concerned with justifying a relatively hedonistic existence that I don't care to take part in.

 

I certainly don't mind a release every once a week or so. It's nice to not have to think about cooking or cleaning up or any of that kind of stuff (although, gotta admit: ever since I figured out how to cook for both macros and taste, restaurants aren't quite as exciting as they used to be). But two or three times a week is pushing it, if I don't account for it in the overall average.

 

Doing the best you can daily but looking at the weekly picture has been a less stressful experience for me personally. Maybe it's all POV?

 

14 hours ago, Kishi said:

I mean, honestly, I like to think it kind of feels like what it'd be like if I lived in an actual monastery. I grant you, I'm not doing anywhere near enough makiwara work. But.

 

Pretty sure monks don't have coworkers pulling bullshit on them out from left field, stupid busywork that distracts from the goal yet somehow they are judged by this arbitrary standard, and people who seem to be making it their mission to derail them with personal life temptations. Having personal lives to juggle might not be so much of a thing either, come to that...all those expenses such as vehicles, living arrangements...

 

That's a lot of stress I just came up with off the top of my head.

 

15 hours ago, Kishi said:

Recomp would be preferable. Like I said, I've got a pretty good handle on minimums for carbs and protein; past that point, it gets fuzzy. Right now I'm just trying to figure out intake of energy versus output of performance. Eating this much and maintaining... it's new territory.

 

I found maintenance just by writing down everything I ate. Now I am a freak and easily gravitate toward +-1lb living. In your case, a "reverse diet" may be in order? If you can find a number of calories, you know you need Xg protein based on your weight. The rest is based on what it takes to get the right energy balance. FWIW, I am a 45/35/20 split on carbs/fat/protein in MFP because it's as close as I get to my protein levels, and I basically refuse to feel pinched by a carb ceiling because this job and all that lifting. You probably won't end up with these numbers, it's just FYI. The only way you can be "wrong" is if you feel like garbage and can't train, really.

 

15 hours ago, Kishi said:

Geez, everything you have going on in your end of things and you still find time to be concerned about me.

 

I am grateful. And also, I really need to get my act together so you don't worry anymore. :'D

 

You're welcome. We're all just paddling along as best we can. I am happy to see some progress with you finding a way to fit strength training in with All the Things. That isn't easy.

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Level 13 Shape-shifting Warrior Monk

STR:45 | DEX:18 | STA:10 | CON:37 | WIS:37 | CHA:27

The stronger the body the more it obeys, the weaker the body the more it commands. -- Siegmund Klein

Battle Log : MFP : Instagram : Challenges - 1, 23456789101112

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20 hours ago, Machete said:

What race are you participating in?

 

The Dragon OCR. It's a new race that's just starting up in my neck of the woods. It looks like it favors strength more than endurance on that whole spectrum, which will definitely be a different flavor of race than I'm used to. I suppose we'll see.

 

20 hours ago, Machete said:

I wouldn't stress out too much about deloads and tapers (unless you've specifically peaked for the event). 5/3/1 is about flexibility in programming and focusing on being a Q3 athlete. I used it when I was in the Army as a strategy in antifragility, as it allowed me to run around and have a strenuous life while still being able to inch my way to decent strength levels. Later I didn't even worry about adding that 5-10 pounds to my training max until I could rep out my 1+ sets for more than 5; I just did my lifts and went home. Because sometimes you have a half-marathon but you're scheduled to Squat the next day, and I picked being able to do both rather than excelling at one or the other.

 

Ah, I see! In that case, I'll play it by ear. Like I noted, I'm never really sore, even after pushing hard, but lately my shoulder's been talking to me some. I think that's more to do with TGUs than anything else, though.

 

20 hours ago, Machete said:

That closet needs to be addressed though. Haha. Now that you mention it, I'm off to arrange mine...

 

Yeah! No, but I got it, tho! Now get yours!

 

19 hours ago, Urgan said:

Doing the best you can daily but looking at the weekly picture has been a less stressful experience for me personally. Maybe it's all POV?

 

I guess. It's just that I can't not be cognizant of how things go day by day. Too much time spent being too poor to think any other way. That's what got me into tracking in the first place - making sure I was rationing my food far enough.

 

19 hours ago, Urgan said:

Pretty sure monks don't have coworkers pulling bullshit on them out from left field, stupid busywork that distracts from the goal yet somehow they are judged by this arbitrary standard, and people who seem to be making it their mission to derail them with personal life temptations. Having personal lives to juggle might not be so much of a thing either, come to that...all those expenses such as vehicles, living arrangements...

 

That's a lot of stress I just came up with off the top of my head.

 

Oh yeah. It's definitely not a 1:1 comparison. :D

 

19 hours ago, Urgan said:

I found maintenance just by writing down everything I ate. Now I am a freak and easily gravitate toward +-1lb living. In your case, a "reverse diet" may be in order? If you can find a number of calories, you know you need Xg protein based on your weight. The rest is based on what it takes to get the right energy balance. FWIW, I am a 45/35/20 split on carbs/fat/protein in MFP because it's as close as I get to my protein levels, and I basically refuse to feel pinched by a carb ceiling because this job and all that lifting. You probably won't end up with these numbers, it's just FYI. The only way you can be "wrong" is if you feel like garbage and can't train, really.

 

I've actually got about the same split myself for macros, although in general I shift toward more fat than carbs. On lifting days, the ceiling for calories is high enough that I can get a lot of carbs in even if I wind up w/ a 40/40/20 split.

 

20 hours ago, Urgan said:

You're welcome. We're all just paddling along as best we can. I am happy to see some progress with you finding a way to fit strength training in with All the Things. That isn't easy.

 

True. But worth it.

 

*

 

GOAL 1: 1/1

 

GOAL 2: 1/1

 

GOAL 3: 1/1

 

GOAL 4: 1/1

 

So, Monday turned out to be interesting. I don't know what happened - if the decaf coffee I thought I got after dinner was caffeinated or if I was just too stressed or what - but I wasn't able to sleep all night leading into Monday. Rather than chance playing in traffic, I decided to call in sick, and spent the day doing the things that had kept me up thinking about them. I got the closet cleaned out, got my laundry caught up, got my writing done, and ultimately just had a low key mental-health day. I even managed to avoid my parents while doing so. Not that they wouldn't have understood... but they wouldn't have understood. :D

 

Anyway, whatever the weirdness was, it was out of my system last night and I was able to get to bed with no trouble.

 

Didn't do much of anything beyond that. It was... nice.

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34 minutes ago, Kishi said:

Rather than chance playing in traffic, I decided to call in sick, and spent the day doing the things that had kept me up thinking about them. I got the closet cleaned out, got my laundry caught up, got my writing done, and ultimately just had a low key mental-health day. I even managed to avoid my parents while doing so. Not that they wouldn't have understood... but they wouldn't have understood. :D

 

Anyway, whatever the weirdness was, it was out of my system last night and I was able to get to bed with no trouble.

 

Didn't do much of anything beyond that. It was... nice.

What a great idea, and an excellent way to turn around not an unpleasant situation.  Got stuff done, helped the brain, and got the sleep.  Sounds really nice to me too.

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Breathe deep.  Seek peace.  Bring a sword.  ---Kishi

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22 hours ago, Treva said:

What a great idea, and an excellent way to turn around not an unpleasant situation.  Got stuff done, helped the brain, and got the sleep.  Sounds really nice to me too.

 

Thanks! I honestly kind of felt like I screwed up and I was taking a day off that I didn't deserve. I didn't really feel like I had the right to enjoy the day off, so I told myself that I had to make up for it somehow. That made it feel better.

 

*

 

GOAL 1: 2/2

 

GOAL 2: 2/2

 

GOAL 3: 2/2

 

GOAL 4: 1/2

 

Welp, yesterday turned out okay. Was groggy all day. Research I did on Monday said that overuse of melatonin can lead to perpetual sleepiness. Huh. Wish I'd known that sooner.

 

Got out of work late on account of having to make up for lost time at work - getting cases opened and things like that. But it still worked - got the core work done right on time. Now I'm starting to run up against my limits again, though. Having to grind out reps again. Think I'll scale back on that.

 

Karate afterward was all right. Need to work on extending out for side kick. Afterward, didn't spar so well, but. Classes like this happen sometimes, and are not indicative of a general trend. Yet. :D

 

Was too tired to really do much but eat dinner and go to bed afterward. I skipped out on the melatonin I've been using to help me sleep, though, and while I passed out last night, I woke up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed... a lot earlier than I wanted to. XD There's no winning. I think I need to focus on past means to get myself to sleep, including temperature manipulation and meditation.

 

Anyway, the real test is tonight. Gotta see if I can get in and out of the gym in time to hit judo. It's just snatches and SLS. Super quick. If even that doesn't work... well. May have to readjust.

 

Also gotta get over those nerves about training under an old school Marine who trained in Japan. My karate sensei really likes him, and he's been great... when I can understand him. He has a tendency to speak in half-sentences and metaphor. Like a sage. An angry, angry sage. He's always been a nice guy when not on the mats, tho.

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32 minutes ago, Kishi said:

An angry, angry sage.

 

Cranky Marine Sage sounds like the thing Stories are made of. Whether those Stories serve as Warning, Entertainment, or Inspiration may vary. 

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Level 13 Shape-shifting Warrior Monk

STR:45 | DEX:18 | STA:10 | CON:37 | WIS:37 | CHA:27

The stronger the body the more it obeys, the weaker the body the more it commands. -- Siegmund Klein

Battle Log : MFP : Instagram : Challenges - 1, 23456789101112

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On 5/5/2017 at 11:26 AM, Kishi said:

Whaaaaaaa. Why does everyone want to eat these days. I don't get it.

 

I think I need to find a new way of thinking about food, because as it is, using meals out as an excuse to splurge on the rest of my daily calories just isn't cutting it. Why? Because everyone wants to eat out all the time, and if I do it that way then I'm eating more for a bulk than for general maintenance.

 

The thing is, generally, that's not hard, provided I can find numbers in MFP to sub in and compensate for, but the past couple of days that's been hard. I think there might be some merit in assuming that a given portion of food has x amount of calories and just tailoring the rest of my intake thereafter from that. I will have numerous opportunities to test this theory.

 

On 5/7/2017 at 1:18 AM, Kishi said:

Well, it's not dinner. It's lunch, and my psychology playing tricks on me. Because I'll figure that I'll have eaten all this food, and so the rest of the day is shot. And while I try to fill the rest of the day with healthy calories, I'm still cognizant that I'm a CICO guy, and that no matter how healthy my choices, I'm still kind of SOL. It's not really a macro problem - my body's actually rather forgiving about that kind of thing - so much as it's a problem of the overall intake of energy.

 

Still, the only real problem is the Chinese place. Our other lunch spot is Qdoba, and the odd food truck when they come in and actually have food for us to eat. Qdoba's easy - just plug in the ingredients for whatever I'm eating and that's that, but you can't do the same thing for the Chinese place. Fortunately, lunch portions are about the same as Qdoba, so I figure it makes it easier to just assume x amount of calories for that meal. That just leaves the food truck to account for... and you know, there's probably something to the idea of getting apps from those.

 

This is why I find calorie tracking to be frustrating to the point of being useless. Even with prepackaged food, the calorie and macro information is a rough estimate. Most companies don't actually do nutrient analysis of their products. They take numbers from tables or suppliers and do some math. Restaurants are even worse. Fast food chains are an exception here because their portion sizes are consistent and the corporate office is under pressure to provide accurate nutrition information. Other restaurants change menu items as ingredients are available. You would have to take a scale and weigh your food to know how much you are getting in a serving.

 

So overall, you are taking some semi-educated guesses of what macros are in your food and plugging those into a semi-controlled experiment of what your body needs. How you feel is the most reliable part of the data.

 

On 5/9/2017 at 11:35 AM, Kishi said:

So, Monday turned out to be interesting. I don't know what happened - if the decaf coffee I thought I got after dinner was caffeinated or if I was just too stressed or what - but I wasn't able to sleep all night leading into Monday. Rather than chance playing in traffic, I decided to call in sick, and spent the day doing the things that had kept me up thinking about them. I got the closet cleaned out, got my laundry caught up, got my writing done, and ultimately just had a low key mental-health day. I even managed to avoid my parents while doing so. Not that they wouldn't have understood... but they wouldn't have understood. :D

 

Anyway, whatever the weirdness was, it was out of my system last night and I was able to get to bed with no trouble.

 

Didn't do much of anything beyond that. It was... nice.

 

I hate it when sleep just won't come. Good for you making the best of the day in spite of it. I agree that being productive at home is a better choice than being a grouchy zombie at work.

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17 hours ago, Mistr said:

This is why I find calorie tracking to be frustrating to the point of being useless. Even with prepackaged food, the calorie and macro information is a rough estimate. Most companies don't actually do nutrient analysis of their products. They take numbers from tables or suppliers and do some math. Restaurants are even worse. Fast food chains are an exception here because their portion sizes are consistent and the corporate office is under pressure to provide accurate nutrition information. Other restaurants change menu items as ingredients are available. You would have to take a scale and weigh your food to know how much you are getting in a serving.

 

Eh, I mean, it depends on how much you expect out of your tracking. I don't expect perfect accuracy; I just want to attach a number to the choices I'm making which I can adjust depending on the choices that I make. The numbers I assign to the choices yield a certain result; based on this result, I can pick a new number and make new choices depending on how that works.

 

Because yeah no I'm not bringing a scale with me to places. That's just rude.

 

18 hours ago, Mistr said:

So overall, you are taking some semi-educated guesses of what macros are in your food and plugging those into a semi-controlled experiment of what your body needs. How you feel is the most reliable part of the data.

 

Yup, pretty much.

 

18 hours ago, Mistr said:

I hate it when sleep just won't come. Good for you making the best of the day in spite of it. I agree that being productive at home is a better choice than being a grouchy zombie at work.

 

Yeah! I thought so too. And given that the last time I had some kind of head thing go wrong that I was told I was crazy for trying to drive like that, I figured I might as well stay home. Especially since I had leave to burn.

 

*

 

GOAL 1: 3/3

 

GOAL 2: 2.5/3

 

GOAL 3: 3/3

 

GOAL 4: 2/3

 

So, you can look at the numbers and guess what happened last night. Got out of work late again, ran out of time again, missed judo again.

 

I am not pleased. But I've been watching my times lately - when I leave the office and such - and I have to admit that I probably didn't plan this right. It turns out that it's pretty normal for me to leave later than I'd like, regardless of whether I have time to make up or not. Most nights that's not an issue - classes start at 7:30 on Tuesday and Thursday nights, and the evenings are pretty much free for me on Friday and Sunday.

 

So at this point, it kind of seems like I have a choice - I can either stake out my Saturdays for judo, or I can readjust the training. At this point, I'm honestly leaning toward staking out my Saturdays. Reason being that the only person who wants to do things on Saturday is the problematic co-worker, who doesn't invite me to things so much as she says that something might be happening and keeps trying to assume that I'll show up to whatever. That might mean missing out on hiking... but honestly, it's spoiled time anyway, because it's basically just however many hours of hiking listening to her bitch about work. And that's assuming that she even remembers the plans she makes - she's tried to flake out repeatedly, because she does regard her obligations as A Thing... provided you're the last person she talked to.

 

And honestly, having an excuse to not deal with all that would probably be one less stress for me to carry, as opposed to having to traipse across town to get sucker-punched with the planet. That just sounds more fun.

 

Also, I do want to keep snatches and SLS in my life. Sensei (henceforth referred to as Karate-sensei or K-sensei) has noticed that I have "the cardio" as he puts it. He puts me up for multiple rounds of sparring, and... I don't get tired. S&S: Snatch Ed is to blame for this development. I feel a need to keep that happening.

 

Got to bed on time w/o melatonin, and managed to write. Good and good.

 

No training tonight, though. I promised the problematic co-worker that I would help her move, because she said it was going to be a Friday or Saturday thing. Maybe. She honestly didn't know, until last night - surprise! It's tonight at 5 PM, and afterward it'll be pizza and beer because fuck my self-discipline, man. Which honestly probably won't be that big a deal, given that I've been keeping it clean all week. If I can get out early, I'll try to, but K-sensei already told me it's okay if I don't make it since I've been crazy-diligent about showing up.

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19 hours ago, Mistr said:

This is why I find calorie tracking to be frustrating to the point of being useless. Even with prepackaged food, the calorie and macro information is a rough estimate. Most companies don't actually do nutrient analysis of their products. They take numbers from tables or suppliers and do some math. Restaurants are even worse. Fast food chains are an exception here because their portion sizes are consistent and the corporate office is under pressure to provide accurate nutrition information. Other restaurants change menu items as ingredients are available. You would have to take a scale and weigh your food to know how much you are getting in a serving.

 

So overall, you are taking some semi-educated guesses of what macros are in your food and plugging those into a semi-controlled experiment of what your body needs. How you feel is the most reliable part of the data.

 

8 minutes ago, Kishi said:

Eh, I mean, it depends on how much you expect out of your tracking. I don't expect perfect accuracy; I just want to attach a number to the choices I'm making which I can adjust depending on the choices that I make. The numbers I assign to the choices yield a certain result; based on this result, I can pick a new number and make new choices depending on how that works.

 

The numbers themselves mean nothing in terms of cut-and-dried reality. I have no idea how much I am ACTUALLY taking in. Nutrition labels are a guestimate. They are, in a word, inaccurate. But if I am off by the same amount every single time I log--if I am precise--then the purpose of the exercise (ensuring I am eating enough calories for my goal) is fulfilled.

 

If the numbers matter, then you will be frustrated, sure. Some people can track long enough to get an idea for what "enough food" is...personally I require the goading of being Under on my macros to not default to <1500 because that channel runs deep. A similar metric may or may not inspire others.

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Level 13 Shape-shifting Warrior Monk

STR:45 | DEX:18 | STA:10 | CON:37 | WIS:37 | CHA:27

The stronger the body the more it obeys, the weaker the body the more it commands. -- Siegmund Klein

Battle Log : MFP : Instagram : Challenges - 1, 23456789101112

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19 minutes ago, Kishi said:

So, you can look at the numbers and guess what happened last night. Got out of work late again, ran out of time again, missed judo again.

 

I am not pleased. But I've been watching my times lately - when I leave the office and such - and I have to admit that I probably didn't plan this right. It turns out that it's pretty normal for me to leave later than I'd like, regardless of whether I have time to make up or not. Most nights that's not an issue - classes start at 7:30 on Tuesday and Thursday nights, and the evenings are pretty much free for me on Friday and Sunday.

 

So at this point, it kind of seems like I have a choice - I can either stake out my Saturdays for judo, or I can readjust the training. At this point, I'm honestly leaning toward staking out my Saturdays. Reason being that the only person who wants to do things on Saturday is the problematic co-worker, who doesn't invite me to things so much as she says that something might be happening and keeps trying to assume that I'll show up to whatever. That might mean missing out on hiking... but honestly, it's spoiled time anyway, because it's basically just however many hours of hiking listening to her bitch about work. And that's assuming that she even remembers the plans she makes - she's tried to flake out repeatedly, because she does regard her obligations as A Thing... provided you're the last person she talked to.

 

And honestly, having an excuse to not deal with all that would probably be one less stress for me to carry, as opposed to having to traipse across town to get sucker-punched with the planet. That just sounds more fun.

 

20 minutes ago, Kishi said:

No training tonight, though. I promised the problematic co-worker that I would help her move, because she said it was going to be a Friday or Saturday thing. Maybe. She honestly didn't know, until last night - surprise! It's tonight at 5 PM, and afterward it'll be pizza and beer because fuck my self-discipline, man. Which honestly probably won't be that big a deal, given that I've been keeping it clean all week. If I can get out early, I'll try to, but K-sensei already told me it's okay if I don't make it since I've been crazy-diligent about showing up.

 

Dude. Get really bleeping Unavailable STAT. You don't need this crap in your life.

 

21 minutes ago, Kishi said:

Got to bed on time w/o melatonin, and managed to write. Good and good.

 

YAY.

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Level 13 Shape-shifting Warrior Monk

STR:45 | DEX:18 | STA:10 | CON:37 | WIS:37 | CHA:27

The stronger the body the more it obeys, the weaker the body the more it commands. -- Siegmund Klein

Battle Log : MFP : Instagram : Challenges - 1, 23456789101112

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I second Urgan.

She doesn't seem to give anything back to you. You said in a former challenge it was frustrating to listen to her because of her not taking any advices. And she isn't cosidering you could have plans for weekends too. Sounds crappy

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level 12 Hobbit Monk (respawned September 2016)
STR 4 | DEX 15 | CON 16 | STA 15 | WIS 33 | CHA 24 | Halfling | Newbie | Fencer and Bookworm

Introduction | Character | Daily Battle Log | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 67 | 8 | | 10 | 11 | 12# | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | #### | 17 | Current Challenge

Spoiler

 I'm exercising, because I want to get my stamina and strength. I enjoy medieevil swordmanship,  Tai Chi, yoga, aikido and fire spinning. I'm also a roleplaying nerd and a book worm. Let's fight the procrastination dragon!

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3 hours ago, Urgan said:

Dude. Get really bleeping Unavailable STAT. You don't need this crap in your life.

 

19 minutes ago, Luciana Valerosa Culming said:

I second Urgan.

She doesn't seem to give anything back to you. You said in a former challenge it was frustrating to listen to her because of her not taking any advices. And she isn't cosidering you could have plans for weekends too. Sounds crappy

 

So, uh. I took your advice.

 

We walk together in the afternoons and I asked to make sure we were still moving stuff tonight. Good thing I did - she messed up and meant tomorrow night instead. Lifting night.

 

And something inside of me just kind of went TWITCH.

 

She started saying that the plan was for us to move things around and then, because we'd worked out and deserved it, she was just going to order a couple pizzas and we could all stuff our fat faces. And I walked with that for a moment and then before I could stop it I said, "I think I'll skip out after we're done moving and go lift afterward."

 

"Oh." In the way that women use. "So, you don't feel like pizza?" Only that wasn't the question she was asking.

 

"Yeah. Nothing personal, but Friday night's a lifting night, and it's like one of two that I have time for. Can't miss it. Priorities, you know?"

 

"Well, but. Friends should be your priority."

 

It didn't even occur to me to be angry. Instead, I said, "You already are. I'm coming to help you, remember?"

 

She couldn't find anything to say to that. And afterward I volunteered to drive our group of working people for lunch tomorrow.

 

Fortunately, I brought training garb with me, so a quick stop to pick up some snackage prior to gym and everything should be good to go.

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I like how she links junk food with personal relationships by way of emotion. Manipulation 101 or reeeeally mucked up view of both people and food, and that ain't mutually exclusive no how. 

 

A good step. Any way you can limit interaction with her to work and big group settings, the better off you will be. 

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Level 13 Shape-shifting Warrior Monk

STR:45 | DEX:18 | STA:10 | CON:37 | WIS:37 | CHA:27

The stronger the body the more it obeys, the weaker the body the more it commands. -- Siegmund Klein

Battle Log : MFP : Instagram : Challenges - 1, 23456789101112

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Also, I do want to keep snatches and SLS in my life. Sensei (henceforth referred to as Karate-sensei or K-sensei) has noticed that I have "the cardio" as he puts it. He puts me up for multiple rounds of sparring, and... I don't get tired. S&S: Snatch Ed is to blame for this development. I feel a need to keep that happening.

I almost certainly missed the explanation for this, but (1) what does SLS stand for, and (2) what do you mean by "S&S: Snatch Ed?" How are you training snatches?

 

 

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I liked your post... this conversation seems to have gone quite well. I don't know if I would have been able to stand up for myself and staying calm at the same time like you did.

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level 12 Hobbit Monk (respawned September 2016)
STR 4 | DEX 15 | CON 16 | STA 15 | WIS 33 | CHA 24 | Halfling | Newbie | Fencer and Bookworm

Introduction | Character | Daily Battle Log | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 67 | 8 | | 10 | 11 | 12# | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | #### | 17 | Current Challenge

Spoiler

 I'm exercising, because I want to get my stamina and strength. I enjoy medieevil swordmanship,  Tai Chi, yoga, aikido and fire spinning. I'm also a roleplaying nerd and a book worm. Let's fight the procrastination dragon!

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15 hours ago, Urgan said:

I like how she links junk food with personal relationships by way of emotion. Manipulation 101 or reeeeally mucked up view of both people and food, and that ain't mutually exclusive no how.

 

Yeah, and that's not the only one. I don't want to gossip or judge, as she's having a real bad time here at work, and I don't know that I would do so well if I didn't have all the support I have as well as the insights on how things work here. But... yeah.

 

13 hours ago, mightstone2k said:

I almost certainly missed the explanation for this, but (1) what does SLS stand for, and (2) what do you mean by "S&S: Snatch Ed?" How are you training snatches?

 

1. SLS stands for Single Leg Squat, and is meant to be an abbreviation to cover the progression, rep scheme, and integrated mobility for Gymnastic Body's gymnastic strength training protocol. It's also a way for me to talk about it without posting the specifics online for people to steal - something I definitely would have done not so long ago. :P

 

2. What I mean is that in addition to hitting Simple and Sinister twice a week, I also work on KB snatches once per week. I'm not really being aggressive about it. I just take 5 minutes and bang out as many reps as I mean to. Then each week I just add a rep on each side. If I'm feeling banged up when I go, I practice with a lighter bell (like I did this week).

 

6 hours ago, Luciana Valerosa Culming said:

I liked your post... this conversation seems to have gone quite well. I don't know if I would have been able to stand up for myself and staying calm at the same time like you did.

 

Well, we'll see how well it went. I feel like it went well - didn't lose my temper, had a rebuttal ready, wasn't afraid to speak my mind and how I felt but didn't go out of my way to hurt her either - but I believe in paranoia as a rule of thumb. We'll see.

 

*

 

GOAL 1: 4/4

 

GOAL 2: 3.5/4

 

GOAL 3: 4/4

 

GOAL 4: 3/4

 

So, yesterday ended up going okay. With no moving to do, I went and hit S&S and GB. No trouble. Went out to go train Karate afterward and... no trouble.

 

I mean, to be fair, the difficulty's leveled up again. Now I'm trying to figure out how to bait out a strike that's waiting for me, because Shotokan's really big on counters and K-sensei's taken to sticking me every time I try something. Annoying, but it's a problem I'd have to learn to solve anyway. So now I'm having to learn how to think while doing this. Great. But beyond that, you know, things were good.

 

Anyway, thinking about training, and I think I'm going to go back to 5/3/1 three days per week. Because if Wednesday's a lost cause for martial arts, I can use it for something else. And it would free up some time on Friday nights for getting in and out and down in time for Judo on Saturdays instead. I figure, do those lifts, and cycle GST around what I'm doing that week. Short, sweet, to the point. In and out and done and getting stronger every time.

 

Except that I mean to keep SLS and Snatches together. But don't worry. I have something special in mind for Squatting days anyway. :)

 

Writing happened last night. Finished the scene, and now back to fleshing out characters and conflicts. I'm kind of annoyed that I don't write longer scenes - I guess I have more Hemingway in me than I thought - but done is done, and it can be fleshed out later if it needs to be. That's what editing is for.

 

Anyway. Helping that friend tonight... and then another friend wants to meet with me for Guardians 2. This could interfere with my lifting. Unlike the other, though, this is a friend I wouldn't mind missing lifting for. Which is also kind of why I'm thinking about that one lift/night approach again. Seems like a good balance, you know?

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On 5/11/2017 at 1:34 PM, Kishi said:

 

Eh, I mean, it depends on how much you expect out of your tracking. I don't expect perfect accuracy; I just want to attach a number to the choices I'm making which I can adjust depending on the choices that I make. The numbers I assign to the choices yield a certain result; based on this result, I can pick a new number and make new choices depending on how that works.

 

Because yeah no I'm not bringing a scale with me to places. That's just rude.

 

I do.

31A-9YxUeuL._SL500_AC_SS350_.jpg

Sadly I don't have enough situational awareness to recall how the waitresses at Texas Roadhouse looked at me when I pulled this out.

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23 hours ago, Kishi said:

She started saying that the plan was for us to move things around and then, because we'd worked out and deserved it, she was just going to order a couple pizzas and we could all stuff our fat faces. And I walked with that for a moment and then before I could stop it I said, "I think I'll skip out after we're done moving and go lift afterward."

 

"Oh." In the way that women use. "So, you don't feel like pizza?" Only that wasn't the question she was asking.

 

"Yeah. Nothing personal, but Friday night's a lifting night, and it's like one of two that I have time for. Can't miss it. Priorities, you know?"

 

"Well, but. Friends should be your priority."

 

It didn't even occur to me to be angry. Instead, I said, "You already are. I'm coming to help you, remember?"

 

She couldn't find anything to say to that. And afterward I volunteered to drive our group of working people for lunch tomorrow.

^^^^^^^This is AWESOME!

You expressed yourself clearly without being mean. You didn't let her emotionally manipulate you. From everything you've said, it sounds like she has little respect for her friends. She is happy to take advantage of your time and attention, but doesn't care enough to commit to specific times. Yuck.

 

You absolutely made the right decision on taking Saturdays for Judo. Do you have different senseis for Judo and Karate?

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And then, out of nowhere, it all just kind of blew up.

 

The coworker wanted me to help her move. She'd said that she wanted my help a while back, and I said I'd do it. It's a reasonable thing to ask for help for, and I like using my strength to help people.

 

So, we'd been saying we'd do this for a while, and she kept saying that she'd let me know when this was going to be. Okay. So come this week, she tells me it's going to be at 5 PM. She got the day wrong, as I've covered here, but whatever. So Friday rolls around. She tells me it's going to be 5, and I make plans for my evening, because it's like a few pieces of light furniture and it'll only take an hour.

 

And then the time starts changing. I'm sympathetic to this, because she's not in charge of when her stuff gets there, and it's only going to be an hour. But then she keeps pushing it back and back and back. And meanwhile this friend of mine, I haven't seen him in months, and he's the kind of guy I get along with really well. He and I talk philosophy and politics and religion and we agree on our need to agree with each other civilly and speak about deep things honestly. It's my kind of thing, and I'm not going to yield that to her.

 

Well, I tell her this and she tells me I'm being this huge jerk because the other person who was going to help her canceled too. But I kept the line. Then she stalked into my cube from her unit and demanded that I help her because she wasn't in charge of when it got there. That was my fatal miscalculation in this whole mess - when she said that it would be 5, what she meant was, "This could happen at any time on the evening and I need the entire evening free." And if she'd said that, I would have done it. I would have kept the entire evening open for her, not made any plans, nothing. Instead, she treated me like her doormat again, like somehow I'm supposed to take all the things I do and put them aside for her when I know, I know, that she wouldn't do the same for me.

 

But then she pushed it back to 6. Then 6:30. I held the line. She'd told me it was going to be an hour, and I figured it would take a half hour from where she was to get to the place where I was meeting my friend. It was going to be at 8. So I told her that as long as it was before 7:30, I could help her. It got weird. She said that was fine, and then she asked what would happen if the guy didn't get there until later. I told her I'd do my best to help her with the time we had. I figured, no big deal, right? It's a bunch of light things. I could probably help her get it done faster than she thought. Only, she said that it might not be until 8. And I held the line. I said I wasn't willing to change this for her. I said I'd given my word to my friend and that I couldn't go back on that for her.

 

So. She stalked into my cube. She hissed at me that she couldn't understand what I was doing and that she wasn't in control of her situation and that she needed my help.

 

"What if he doesn't show up until late?" she hissed at me. I wasn't articulate with her there, staring at me like she was going to kill me. I spread my hands in a helpless gesture and said I didn't know. Because in my mind, I thought I was still trying to help her and I couldn't understand why she was throwing away the help I could give.

 

She stalked out and then sent me this last email saying she needed my help. I held the line again. And so she said to not even bother showing up.

 

So I sent her this email explaining why I did it. Hiding behind spoilers because wall of text on top of wall of text. A name has been redacted.

 

Spoiler

So, I owe you an explanation for what happened. I’m not going to mince words – I’m just going to spell it out for you.

 

Here’s the deal: I don’t think we’re friends. I don’t think we’ve been friends in a really long time. I don’t think that how we deal with each other is how friends deal with each other. It’s certainly not been that way with other friends that I have.

 

I don’t think that you respect me or my time. I think that you have this idea that I’m going to be around and available for you whenever you want me to be, and I don’t think you feel that you owe me anything back. I’ve never been treated like this before. You treat our walks like your personal sounding board, and you never actually let me complain back beyond maybe a minute or so when you’re done venting before you commandeer the conversation. I can’t even celebrate when things are going well – it always comes back to how your day is going.

 

Beyond that, you have a real tendency to not respect my time when hiking. It’s not just about the one time – it’s about the other times when we’ve gone with R. She’s told me about how you forget about the things you say – we said – you’d do.

 

And as long as I’m being honest, I think I’ve thrown a lot of good your way. I’ve gotten your lunch for you when the food trucks come around, I’ve been your punching bag day in and day out. We’ve had a couple of misunderstandings, sure, but I haven’t broken my word to you in anywhere near the degree that you’ve broken yours to me.

 

I blame myself for not articulating that to you earlier. I didn’t know it was such a big deal to me. But it is, and I’ve been really hurt about it for a long time.

 

So here’s the bottom line: I don’t think we’re good for each other. I hate that, but there it is. I don’t see any way for us to keep on being friends with each other if this is how you’re going to treat me.

 

So, I didn't go to help her. I went out and lifted weights. I managed to hit 277x2 on deadlifts and then did zercher cycles afterward as a lone accessory move - pick up the barbell from the ground onto your knees, get your arms around it, lift, then all the way back down. Did it for reps because I wanted to do something that was both metabolic and useful to the main lift. It made sense to me. I also practiced my run, and managed to hit the distance I set out to hit, which combined with the other metabolic work was a lot harder to recover from than it's been. I honestly kind of think this feels like OCR training though - from strength to some hybrid thing that hits both to something purely focused on speed and movement or hitting the bag if it's there to hit. Admittedly, all that stuff is accessory - I'm perfectly happy to prune back if I have to, and I suppose on Wednesdays I'll have to because I want to try to focus on getting down earlier. But it feels good.

 

I also imagine that I'm at a point where I need to focus on just adding one pound at a time to my training maxes again. At least for deadlifts. Squats have proven to be surprisingly strong, and if they continue to be then I'll take a page from @Machete and consider that a sign to raise the lift by the orthodox amount. The AMRAP final set isn't just about displaying your strength - it's useful as a gauge too. I think I get that now in a way that I didn't when it was explained to me.

 

Felt some lower back go into that last set, but I'm not hurting today, so that's good. I ran measurements and I'm maintaining, almost perfectly. I'm maintaining at a lower point than I was before, but it's still consistent. Good data, at least given the degree of control I have over the experiment. I'm not sure how much longer to do maintenance, though. On a gut level, I'm tired of my gut. I know if I cut again, it won't be anywhere near like the last time - based on this uniquely effective calculator that seems to apply to me, cutting nutrition would be to average at ~2300 calories a week. Which is substantially more food than 1950. But I don't know if my body will do the thing yet. I'm getting a better picture of what my body does now that I'm actually doing the thing I want to do, but I just don't think it's filled in enough to help me make an effective decision.

 

...

 

I told myself I'd go to judo today, but the truth is, I'm spooked about being a white belt wearing a different-colored uniform than the traditional white or blue. I need to remove that as an obstacle to my training before I can do that. Something good about this forced honesty with myself - I see the walls I've built in my head. I see what they stop me from doing. Who they stop me from being.

 

And, just... yeah.

 

...

 

I'm in this weird place. On an emotional level, I'm kind of a wreck. I'm not used to standing up for myself like that and I keep obsessing over the math. Emotionally, I feel like I should have done a better job, like I should have known better and I should have kowtowed and put my stuff aside. I know that she's reacting from a place of pain over a lot of things - the job's really not been good to her, and she and her boyfriend are separated at the moment, which means a break I'm sure. I don't blame her for her pain.

 

But I do blame her for her lack of control. The part of me that remains rational, that keeps running at the math and keeps remembering the paper trail I built - the I said she said - keeps telling me that it's not my fault. I tried to do the right thing, right to the very end. I never got angry at her, I never insulted her, I kept trying to reach out and do the right thing. I kept the high road, and no matter what happens come Monday I know I can keep keeping the high ground.

 

And I have the power in this situation. She's on thin ice with her supervisors in her unit with one foot out the door. I'm going to talk to my supervisors on Monday to let them know about the situation. If she pushes me, and it comes to disciplinary measures, I have the power and she does not. I can afford this fight. She can't.

 

If she comes for me, I will beat her with the chain of command. I'm sure that's my own pain talking. But I'm just... I'm done. It took me a year. But I'm done. I can't do this anymore, and I don't care. If she loses the job because of this, it's her own fault for the mistakes she's made and for her failure to fix them.

 

...

 

I've had drama-free challenges before. They were nice. I wish they were more common.

 

...

 

I had a good night with my friend. We went off to watch Guardians 2 after dinner, and it's such a good movie that it drove my issues to the background for a time. It's fun. I don't share my friend's conviction that it's Marvel's best - it's Civil War for me - but it executes the formula well and in its own distinct way, and I really enjoyed it. I think between it and Guardians, it's probably the stronger film because without the need to truncate characters to build a team we're able to explore the characters more. Dig into them and figure out their motivations and such like that. There are a couple places where it falls a little flat, and there are a couple of lines that were meant to be powerful that didn't land with the impact that they wanted, but the whole is a very strong work that did a lot of things right and well and in its own way. I had a blast. Go see it.

 

On 5/12/2017 at 11:20 AM, Teirin said:

I have zero useful to add, but great handling on the coworker situation.  Congrats on sparring endurence too.  Awesome work :-)

 

Honestly, I'm just glad all the pieces are fitting together. I'm kind of stunned, and there's a part of me that still wants to program hop and figure things out... but that voice is so blessedly quiet now, now that I know that I have what I want.

 

22 hours ago, Machete said:

 

I do.

31A-9YxUeuL._SL500_AC_SS350_.jpg

Sadly I don't have enough situational awareness to recall how the waitresses at Texas Roadhouse looked at me when I pulled this out.

 

She shouldn't have looked at you at all. You're a paying customer who isn't harassing or impacting her dignity. She can get over it.

 

21 hours ago, Mistr said:

^^^^^^^This is AWESOME!

 

You have no idea how thankful I am for this.

 

21 hours ago, Mistr said:

You expressed yourself clearly without being mean. You didn't let her emotionally manipulate you. From everything you've said, it sounds like she has little respect for her friends. She is happy to take advantage of your time and attention, but doesn't care enough to commit to specific times. Yuck.

 

Yup. And now I'm covered in it. Great.

 

21 hours ago, Mistr said:

You absolutely made the right decision on taking Saturdays for Judo. Do you have different senseis for Judo and Karate?

 

Yup. Three arts, three teachers. K-sensei only wants to teach karate because the dojo already has a judo program and he wants to offer something distinct. Which I get. The only bad part is that we're both terrible at marketing and we don't have a lot of stylistic crossover at this point (judo students don't play with karate students, and I don't think the not-Kali guy is getting a lot of love either). K-sensei realizes though that we scare off students w/ how we spar, so we need to preface it to new students with an explanation of what sparring is and our willingness to scale it up and down depending on what people need.

 

Of course, that still means we need to get more people on the mats. Oh well. One day at a time.

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Bravo. I know it was hard, that it's sooooo much easier to skate around confrontation, but damn did she ever force the issue. I will take a page from your book and not spell out what I think of her behavior. You know. It's normal to second-guess what you ended up doing, but you did better than 85% of humanity if pushed up against the wall like that. Good. She made it easier and that was one mercy you have to be thankful for. 

 

I hope she wises up before she bludgeons herself out of a job completely pointlessly, but if she does that's the way the cookie crumbles, eh?

 

Glad you were still able to lift and stress didn't eat your momentum. You've found a lot of interesting things out lately and are running at least three big experiments the same time, remember to be patient with yourself~ May just be in the verge of a macro breakthrough?

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STR:45 | DEX:18 | STA:10 | CON:37 | WIS:37 | CHA:27

The stronger the body the more it obeys, the weaker the body the more it commands. -- Siegmund Klein

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1 hour ago, Urgan said:

I know it was hard, that it's sooooo much easier to skate around confrontation, but damn did she ever force the issue.

This /\

I think you did a good thing. For you both. But that's my $0.02 from the sidelines

 

I saw this DYI fermentation e-book was on sale for $1.99. I thought of you.

 

https://www.amazon.com/DIY-Fermentation-Step-Step-Recipes-ebook/dp/B00USURU5A?_bbid=6786366&tag=bookbubemail6-20

I bought it for myself, just because I like canning & cooking. If I come across anything fantastic in it, I'll let you know. If you want.

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seinfeld.gif

 

Way to go. Is she attractive? I seem to have trouble standing-up to attractive women, even if I see them as non-sexual entities. (Though not if they're classically attractive, because I was counter-cultural and unconsciously treated them badly, which for some reason some of them seemed to find attractive, however I don't pick up on it, but I digress.) But this is f-ing gangster. Straight No More Mr. Nice Guy--just having a life and priorities, and drawing lines around those. I wish I were as ballsy as you right now.

 

I can totally see where you're coming from though. I seem to have cultivated two personalities in me: one uber-confident know-it-all shithead who doesn't believe there's any ROI on giving a f-, and doesn't care what other people think; and the other diplomatic, anxious, insecure guy who is unfortunately in charge most of the time, and is always worried about everyone's opinions and constantly making schemes of planned counterattacks in case someone tries to retaliate for personality A's antics. From what I gather, both of them would say you have nothing to worry about.

 

Guardians it is then. I didn't expect to like the first one, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. This is good to know. I generally do not like sequels.

 

On 5/13/2017 at 2:36 PM, Kishi said:

She shouldn't have looked at you at all. You're a paying customer who isn't harassing or impacting her dignity. She can get over it.

 

I like to believe she can't get over my devastating handsomeness and sexual charisma. (Shut the hell up, personality A, you narcissistic bastard.) Though she did eventually find out what I do and asked me how "to get a butt." My friend took over and told her she just needed to get Squatting, probably knowing I was going to bore her half to death if I started talking. (Welcome back, personality B.)

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On ‎5‎/‎13‎/‎2017 at 3:15 PM, Urgan said:

Bravo. I know it was hard, that it's sooooo much easier to skate around confrontation, but damn did she ever force the issue. I will take a page from your book and not spell out what I think of her behavior. You know. It's normal to second-guess what you ended up doing, but you did better than 85% of humanity if pushed up against the wall like that. Good. She made it easier and that was one mercy you have to be thankful for.

 

Thanks. I'm glad to have someone on the outside telling me that. I can look at a situation and think that everything's fine, but I do have the issue of being entirely too close. I've tried to paint myself in as unflattering a light as I could in this situation, and if you still think I did the right thing... well, that went a lot further than I think I can let you know.

 

I owe you a gif for thanks. Sadly, can't post gifs from where I am. But you have it anyway.

 

On ‎5‎/‎13‎/‎2017 at 3:15 PM, Urgan said:

I hope she wises up before she bludgeons herself out of a job completely pointlessly, but if she does that's the way the cookie crumbles, eh?

 

Yeah. What happens, happens. I would be genuinely unhappy if this cost her the job, but it's not really in my control as to whether she lasts or not.

 

On ‎5‎/‎13‎/‎2017 at 3:15 PM, Urgan said:

Glad you were still able to lift and stress didn't eat your momentum. You've found a lot of interesting things out lately and are running at least three big experiments the same time, remember to be patient with yourself~ May just be in the verge of a macro breakthrough?

 

Nah, I needed to go lift. Lifting is my sanctuary - a thing that I can pour stress and heartache into and get back something good. (although I understand there are studies saying that lifting angry as a general rule is bad for the heart. I am not generally an angry lifter). What would such a breakthrough look like?

 

On ‎5‎/‎13‎/‎2017 at 4:24 PM, PinkNinja said:

I think you did a good thing. For you both. But that's my $0.02 from the sidelines

 

I mean, we'll see.

 

Also, that book looks like fun!

 

15 hours ago, Machete said:

Way to go. Is she attractive? I seem to have trouble standing-up to attractive women, even if I see them as non-sexual entities. (Though not if they're classically attractive, because I was counter-cultural and unconsciously treated them badly, which for some reason some of them seemed to find attractive, however I don't pick up on it, but I digress.) But this is f-ing gangster. Straight No More Mr. Nice Guy--just having a life and priorities, and drawing lines around those. I wish I were as ballsy as you right now.

 

I mean, for a given value of attraction, she was enough so that I thought about dating her, back when I thought that she had herself together. I'm not so moved now, though. Thanks for being willing to give me so much credit. It feels so weird to stand up for myself to people.

 

16 hours ago, Machete said:

I can totally see where you're coming from though. I seem to have cultivated two personalities in me: one uber-confident know-it-all shithead who doesn't believe there's any ROI on giving a f-, and doesn't care what other people think; and the other diplomatic, anxious, insecure guy who is unfortunately in charge most of the time, and is always worried about everyone's opinions and constantly making schemes of planned counterattacks in case someone tries to retaliate for personality A's antics. From what I gather, both of them would say you have nothing to worry about.

 

Ha, dude, I know exactly what you mean. That's kind of where I've been all weekend - I don't usually let A out, and A isn't quite like that for me because I do give a f-, but A doesn't like it when I'm transmogrified into a doormat. B's been going nuts all weekend, planning words and actions. Both sides have been running the math, though, and while I'm jumpy on a gut-level, mentally I'm becoming more and more convinced that I'm right. Every time I tell someone about this, I go out of my way to paint myself as negatively as possible, and every time they come back and say that she was out of line.

 

16 hours ago, Machete said:

Guardians it is then. I didn't expect to like the first one, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. This is good to know. I generally do not like sequels.

 

Yup! This one's worthy.

 

16 hours ago, Machete said:

I like to believe she can't get over my devastating handsomeness and sexual charisma. (Shut the hell up, personality A, you narcissistic bastard.) Though she did eventually find out what I do and asked me how "to get a butt." My friend took over and told her she just needed to get Squatting, probably knowing I was going to bore her half to death if I started talking. (Welcome back, personality B.)

 

You should have told her to pack a scale. :D

 

*

 

Right, so, not so much tracking because, hey, life is weird right now. Diet wasn't so great - Friday was the movie, Saturday was birthday partying with friends, and Sunday was Mother's Day. All the salt and fat and sugar I could possibly want.

 

I did 190 swings along with get ups on Saturday, both with the 53. Feels good. And saw a picture afterward on FB of the Judo contingent at the dojo. One of the students wore a black gi and a white belt. FML.

 

Sunday was a lifting day, so lift I did. After Mother's Day foodage. It was OHP 531 day, and I managed 121x2 on that final set. Tried the 3rd rep, hit a sticking point, and thought, Nah. Don't be a hero. So I set it down and wandered off to practice handstands and hit the heavy bag. I've also started carrying bands with me for uchikomi, and I was able to practice in the gym, which felt really good.

 

Not a whole lot else to say at this point. Realized that I don't have the money to make it to the end of the month and do the race, so it's off. I keep forgetting the rule: if you're going to run an OCR, always do everything early - pay early, run early. I still think I want to keep run practice in there, though, because it feels good to crank up the dreadmill and watch people freak. Also, none of my classic run problems are coming back doing it this way. That's good.

 

Didn't get to cleaning up my room so much since I've been involved in cleaning up my life instead. Not exactly the same thing, but I'll take credit for it.

 

Didn't write on Friday or Saturday, but I touched base w/ it on Sunday and it's back on my mind again.

 

Left golfer's elbow is still being wonky, so I think I'm going to scale back on the pulling stuff w/ GB. Because real strength starts in the bones and works its way out. It doesn't matter how big your muscles are if the supports can't do their job. Also got something going in my right trap, which needs to stop somehow. Figures it's the one place I can't roll out, so I've lately taken to digging in with my fingers. Could be an excuse to pick up a pain cane, once things aren't so tight anymore.

 

I'm honestly considering going back to ridesharing on Saturdays. Only for a little money - I'm not interested in giving up the full weekend for that stuff, but even with the tax, the extra money sure would come in handy, and it's something I know I enjoy. And it's not like I'd get anywhere near the wear and tear on my car that I got the last time.

 

So, yup. Today is Monday. I haven't heard a word from her all day. I talked to my supervisors and they talked to her supervisors telling them that she's no longer welcome in my unit. Frankly, I'm a bit on edge, but at least I've been productive today.

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12 minutes ago, Kishi said:

Nah, I needed to go lift. Lifting is my sanctuary - a thing that I can pour stress and heartache into and get back something good. (although I understand there are studies saying that lifting angry as a general rule is bad for the heart. I am not generally an angry lifter). What would such a breakthrough look like?

 

I can't imagine you angry-lifting. 

 

Such a breakthrough would look like you making crazy gains while having good stable energy so you can tweak to make those steady body comp changes.

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Level 13 Shape-shifting Warrior Monk

STR:45 | DEX:18 | STA:10 | CON:37 | WIS:37 | CHA:27

The stronger the body the more it obeys, the weaker the body the more it commands. -- Siegmund Klein

Battle Log : MFP : Instagram : Challenges - 1, 23456789101112

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On 5/13/2017 at 2:15 PM, Urgan said:

Bravo. I know it was hard, that it's sooooo much easier to skate around confrontation, but damn did she ever force the issue. I will take a page from your book and not spell out what I think of her behavior. You know. It's normal to second-guess what you ended up doing, but you did better than 85% of humanity if pushed up against the wall like that. Good. She made it easier and that was one mercy you have to be thankful for. 

^^^^^^^^^^^ Yes. 

 

1 hour ago, Kishi said:

 

Thanks. I'm glad to have someone on the outside telling me that. I can look at a situation and think that everything's fine, but I do have the issue of being entirely too close. I've tried to paint myself in as unflattering a light as I could in this situation, and if you still think I did the right thing... well, that went a lot further than I think I can let you know.

 

I agree with Urgan, she forced the issue and made it clear that she has no respect for your time. You wrote her a clear message explaining how she has overstepped your boundaries. You handled the problem as a mature adult. And you had the good sense to notify your supervisor about it. 

Go Kishi!

tenor.gif

 

 

 

1 hour ago, Kishi said:

Yeah. What happens, happens. I would be genuinely unhappy if this cost her the job, but it's not really in my control as to whether she lasts or not.

 

Even after she has treated you like crap, you are not holding a grudge. More proof of emotional maturity.

 

1 hour ago, Kishi said:

I did 190 swings along with get ups on Saturday, both with the 53. Feels good. And saw a picture afterward on FB of the Judo contingent at the dojo. One of the students wore a black gi and a white belt. FML.

 

You could always show up in sweats and pretend to be a beginner. :P

Really, judging based on clothes is such an aerobics class mentality. There is a valid point in wearing a heavy gi for grabbing moves. Color is arbitrary.

 

1 hour ago, Kishi said:

Not a whole lot else to say at this point. Realized that I don't have the money to make it to the end of the month and do the race, so it's off. I keep forgetting the rule: if you're going to run an OCR, always do everything early - pay early, run early. I still think I want to keep run practice in there, though, because it feels good to crank up the dreadmill and watch people freak. Also, none of my classic run problems are coming back doing it this way. That's good.

 

Didn't get to cleaning up my room so much since I've been involved in cleaning up my life instead. Not exactly the same thing, but I'll take credit for it.

 

Didn't write on Friday or Saturday, but I touched base w/ it on Sunday and it's back on my mind again.

 

Left golfer's elbow is still being wonky, so I think I'm going to scale back on the pulling stuff w/ GB. Because real strength starts in the bones and works its way out. It doesn't matter how big your muscles are if the supports can't do their job. Also got something going in my right trap, which needs to stop somehow. Figures it's the one place I can't roll out, so I've lately taken to digging in with my fingers. Could be an excuse to pick up a pain cane, once things aren't so tight anymore.

 

I'm honestly considering going back to ridesharing on Saturdays. Only for a little money - I'm not interested in giving up the full weekend for that stuff, but even with the tax, the extra money sure would come in handy, and it's something I know I enjoy. And it's not like I'd get anywhere near the wear and tear on my car that I got the last time.

 

Yep, more proof that you are making mature choices. You are letting go of an event you wanted to participate in and not dwelling on it. Instead, you are considering your options to increase your income. Likewise, you know when to back off and adjust your training by listening to your body. You are making good choices.

 

I saw Guardians of the Galaxy II this weekend too, and enjoyed it. :D

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