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Bean Sidhe

Bean Sidhe vs Chaos and the world

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I'm sorry I haven't been around! My life went into the toilet pretty spectacularly these past few weeks too. I totally totally feel you on feeling like life just never cuts you a break. I know everybody has struggles but it's super hard when you haven't caught one mellow patch in years!

 

That said, I think you are amazing. 84% is incredible especially considering all the ups and downs and busy-ness. It may not FEEL amazing yet, because you aren't seeing the results you want (are you measuring as well as weighing?), but the dedication it takes to make these kinds of changes is hard, and you've stuck with it so well.

 

 

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Goals (Saturday)

1)      Walk 10 minutes every day. (0/1 pt) No point here. I had a ton going on, but no real walking. So sad

 

2)      Hit 10,000 steps daily. (0/2 pts) I didn't hit 10K, so again no point - Total steps 7145

 

3)      Do 60 incline pushups and 15 real pushups. (2/2 pts) I still got 60 incline pushups and 13 solid real pushups. I might actually accomplish this
 

4)       Do 30  60 leg lifts on each leg. (1/1 pt) I hit 60 on these Saturday. Now to maintain or go above.

 

5)      Clean the peninsula every night. (1/1 pt) This was done, it felt better knowing that something was done.

 

6)      Clean off my desk daily. (1/1 pt) DONE, even if it had been a mess before hand.


7)      Cut the candy/cookie/Ice cream out. 1/2 pts). Sonot great, I had a cookie at lunch with the kids. I am falling into bad habits of "oh it won't hurt" at least I didn't bring anything home from the store.

 

Total points for a day 6/10

 

Total points so far 149/180

 

Things are just weird right now. Odd events that throw off dinner planning, weird shifts for Hubby. I need to get back to doing all of this and I did some pretty well on Sat night, but eventually I just gave up. Nothing happened sunday since we had 2 mothers days on 2 different towns, so there was nothing I Could do. I wasn't home at all. Excusing myself from Sunday but I hate doing that since it feels like I am just saying "Oh, it didn't matter."

On the downside, I tried on a new pair of jeans that are the same size and brand as my other pair, they don't fit, so its even more depressing. Maybe next challenge I will make a point to track cal and see whats going on. I have been kind to myself and not weighed in weeks, but that may be making this whole "oh it doesn't hurt anything" worse as well.  I am going to just finish this challenge, and stick to the fact I am staying here. Even if I bomb at the end here, I can say I didn't run away from the fight... right?

 

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On 5/13/2017 at 7:30 PM, WantMy$2 said:

Coming in at an 84% so far. That is pretty awesome!

 

It should be awesome, but to me it seems... sad.. I Know i can do better, and I am one of those "I Have to have an A" since I was little. a low B always feels like I didn't try hard enough. I am programmed weird, I Know.

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1 hour ago, RevQu said:

I'm sorry I haven't been around! My life went into the toilet pretty spectacularly these past few weeks too. I totally totally feel you on feeling like life just never cuts you a break. I know everybody has struggles but it's super hard when you haven't caught one mellow patch in years!

 

That said, I think you are amazing. 84% is incredible especially considering all the ups and downs and busy-ness. It may not FEEL amazing yet, because you aren't seeing the results you want (are you measuring as well as weighing?), but the dedication it takes to make these kinds of changes is hard, and you've stuck with it so well.

 

Rev, I understand. And yeah, I am so over the "AND Here is one more thing." My new one more thing... they delivered the new sectional and it was right. However, they forgot a pillow and now I have to drive into town and pick it up. All for 1 stinking pillow. And I won't be near that section of town until probably Friday night unless I go just for the pillow. I hope your doing better and that you get a break soon.

I am going to be honest and say I have not measured NOR have a I weighed since the beginning of the challenge. I know I am not where I should be, And I should have faith in the process and follow it, but yeah, not happening right now. Maybe for the end of the challenge I will weigh in and see where it is. I just know the jeans that should of fit didn't and thats depressing. But have hope and maybe if I make the pushup challenge, start working on my core.

 

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Rev, I understand. And yeah, I am so over the "AND Here is one more thing." My new one more thing... they delivered the new sectional and it was right. However, they forgot a pillow and now I have to drive into town and pick it up. All for 1 stinking pillow. And I won't be near that section of town until probably Friday night unless I go just for the pillow. I hope your doing better and that you get a break soon.

 

I am going to be honest and say I have not measured NOR have a I weighed since the beginning of the challenge. I know I am not where I should be, And I should have faith in the process and follow it, but yeah, not happening right now. Maybe for the end of the challenge I will weigh in and see where it is. I just know the jeans that should of fit didn't and thats depressing. But have hope and maybe if I make the pushup challenge, start working on my core.

 

 

My 'one more thing' is so awful I can't even talk about it here yet. :/

 

So I so understand.

 

You are so amazing and so on track my friend. If you haven't hit the result level yet, you'll tweak next time after the semester craziness is over. I have no doubt you'll get where you wanna be...you work way too hard to do anything else

 

 

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8 hours ago, RevQu said:

My 'one more thing' is so awful I can't even talk about it here yet. :/

 

So I so understand.

 

You are so amazing and so on track my friend. If you haven't hit the result level yet, you'll tweak next time after the semester craziness is over. I have no doubt you'll get where you wanna be...you work way too hard to do anything else

 

*hugs* I am sorry to hear that Rev. I hope things get better for you.

Mine was more annoyance since that was the latest in a long line of "Lets make things just a tad bit harder."

Thank you for the wonderful words. I am not giving up, I refuse to. I have a visual on what could happen if I do, and I don't want it. I don't want my kids not remembering me being getting on the floor or playing with them and I certainly refuse to have to ask someone to get the 8 lb bag of cat food out of my car for me. As it is, I will get the 35 lb thing of kitty litter out of the car myself or carry the bags of mulch to the backyard. I want to be strong enough to help not to have to ask someone to get things for me.

I know where I want to go, and I think next step will be calorie counting over the summer and making sure I am where I should be. Its just frustrating when it feels like nothing is going in the right direction

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Goals (Saturday)

1)      Walk 10 minutes every day. (1/1 pt) I walked both to drop off and pick up Youngest Agent. I also walked the long long way for pick up. So I am giving myself the point.

 

2)      Hit 10,000 steps daily. (2/2 pts) I almost didn't but I hit my goal as I was getting into bed. Total steps 10,072

 

3)      Do 60 incline pushups and 15 real pushups. (2/2 pts) So I did the incline pushups (60 again) earlier in the night, but when we sat down to have dinner, I was having digestive issues (we think one of may allergens may of snuck into something) so I didn't eat. Then I crashed from the lack of dinner and I almost didn't get my real pushups in. While I was walking laps of my upstairs to get my 10,000 steps, I stopped and did 13 pushups.   So I got them both done.
 

4)       Do 30  60 leg lifts on each leg. (1/1 pt) I got these in later in the day than I wanted, but I did them

 

5)      Clean the peninsula every night. (1/1 pt) This was as clean as I could make it since there is some stuff on there that has to stay there for at least a bit due to scouts tonight. But it will be gone before bed tonight.

 

6)      Clean off my desk daily. (1/1 pt) DONE, this is the one I am the proudest of. I didn't realize how much it helps to have it stay clean


7)      Cut the candy/cookie/Ice cream out. 2/2 pts). Even with taking Eldest Agent to look into High schools and some stress about random things, I was really good here. So yay for me.

 

Total points for a day 10/10

 

Total points so far 159/190

While yesterday was my first 10 for 10 day in awhile, I am not as happy with it. I made a point to get these chores done, but I did ignore some other chores that really should of been done. But the high school thing had been weighing on me, and now I am just glad to move on. The kids have like 7 days of school left and I will be happy when its over even if they will drive me insane being home. .

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Goals (Saturday)

1)      Walk 10 minutes every day. (1/1 pt) Again, I did not hit the treadmill, however, I got home in time to walk a new way to pick up Youngest Agent. The long long way comes out just over a mile to pick her up round trip. I ended up walking 1.35 miles yesterday since I remembered to turn my walking app on. So I think it is okay I missed the treadmill. 

 

2)      Hit 10,000 steps daily. (2/2 pts) I hit 10K fairly early in the day which was nice. I hate walking laps before bed. Total Steps 13,026

 

3)      Do 60 incline pushups and 15 real pushups. (2/2 pts) Although there was a ton going on last night, I got my 60 incline pushups and got 14 regular pushups last night. I was on 15 when I fell. SO Close.
 

4)       Do 30  60 leg lifts on each leg. (1/1 pt) The 60 are getting easier, but since I do them first thing, I have not been awake enough to go past 60.

 

5)      Clean the peninsula every night. (1/1 pt) Well, some of that stuff is still on the counter but most of it leaves today. It will be nice to be able to ahve that back.

 

6)      Clean off my desk daily. (1/1 pt) DONE, I actually noticed I am keeping it clean all the time which is really nice.


7)      Cut the candy/cookie/Ice cream out.(2/2 pts). I was good, there was no real thoughts about being bad. Although I finally got fed up and started sending the candy with hubby to work. I am tired of looking at it.

 

Total points for a day 10/10

 

Total points so far 169/200

I still didn't get EVERYTHING I wanted to done, but I feel better that my percentage is improving. I am hoping that I will just slide from this challenge into the next. I really want to get some improvement. I may weigh in tomorrow and see what not looking at the scale has done. Right now, I am just tired of being tired. Hubby thinks it is because all the stress is finally rolling off, so my body is recouping. I am just hoping I can get my energy back. I realized I was doing better with my chores and exercises when I had more going on. I was less likely to go "oh look, something where I can turn the mind off" and then not get anything done after that.

 

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Goals

1)      Walk 10 minutes every day. (1/1 pt) Well, still no treadmill due to reasons below. I did however walk a new way to pick up Youngest Agent. Now if I take the short way to walk, it is less than a quarter mile. The route I tried yesterday (with walking app on) was 1.12 miles when all was said and done. It looks like it isabout the same as the long long way, but not as good as the really long way I walked Tuesday.

 

2)      Hit 10,000 steps daily. (2/2 pts) So I am lucky I hit 10,000 steps yesterday. total was 10,410 which isn't too bad.

 

3)      Do 60 incline pushups and 15 real pushups. (0/2 pts) I am torn on if I should give myself these points. I was going to do my exercises, and then my leg acted up and I could barely walk or stand. However, I could of done them at any point that day, so I didn't give myself the points

 

4)       Do 30  60 leg lifts on each leg. (1/1 pt) Thankfully I did these early in the day and I hit 65.

 

5)      Clean the peninsula every night. (1/1 pt) I got it done before I went to bed.

 

6)      Clean off my desk daily. (1/1 pt) This was definitely a good goal to go with. Its making things so much easier and less crazy. And it was done before bed.


7)      Cut the candy/cookie/Ice cream out.(1/2 pts). Due to hormones and my leg issue (more in a second) chocolate had to happen. sometimes it just does. So Hubby went and got me a blizzard that I was horribly craving and so I am only giving myself 1 pt since it was a small adn I was good the rest of the day.

 

Total points for a day 7/10

 

Total points so far 176/210

 

So I am still rocking an 83. Yesterday was good, my boss gave me the day off and while I allowed myself to watch like 4 episodes of supernatural, the deal I made with myself was during commercials (we don't have netflix or anything) than I had to get up and accomplish something, if it was swap laundry, make lunch, water plants, ect. I was having a really good day,

Then about 2 pm, I went down to the basement to swap laundry, on the way up my knee tried to give out and then caught itself and I thought it was fine. I had surgery in that knee when I was like 20 and it has an air pocket and does weird stuff from time to time. Well, as the day wore on, it started to hurt more and more. Hubby came home and when he saw me limping asked which leg. I told him and he said a front is moving in and the air pressure was dropping he could feel it. Which meant my knew was mad about pressure change. By about 7 pm I could barely walk, so I gimped to bed and was mad about it. I wanted to do my push ups, but that knee needs to bear weight to do so. And my knee hasn't been that bad in a while. Anymore I might get a small ache but nothing like that.

So long story short, the knee was hurt and I couldn't do things. I was feeling good too. Fortunately its doing better this morning and I am keeping on the anti-inflammatory meds to be safe. Here is to hoping today goes better.

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Hope your knee feels better! I think laying off the push-ups when you have an injury was a smart move; better to take a day or a couple off and recover than hurt it worse and not be able to do anything for longer. It feels discouraging because you still want to check off that box, but is the wisest choice. :)

 

 

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5 hours ago, Bean Sidhe said:

3)      Do 60 incline pushups and 15 real pushups. (0/2 pts) I am torn on if I should give myself these points. I was going to do my exercises, and then my leg acted up and I could barely walk or stand. However, I could of done them at any point that day, so I didn't give myself the points

 

Even if you don't give yourself these points you could remove the two points from the total expected (which would give you 7/8 for the day). You probably shouldn't count against yourself things that you just could not do because of a physical limitation (hurting yourself for points is a bad idea). It's better that you stayed off the leg and gave it room to recover from the "giving out" attempt. The knee that I had surgery on likes to do that "giving out" thing to me too... I wonder if it is similar to what causes yours.

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On 5/18/2017 at 10:21 AM, RevQu said:

Hope your knee feels better! I think laying off the push-ups when you have an injury was a smart move; better to take a day or a couple off and recover than hurt it worse and not be able to do anything for longer. It feels discouraging because you still want to check off that box, but is the wisest choice. :)

 

My knee was fine as always the next day. I hate when it does it, but its part of why I am trying to get healthier. If I can stop carrying around the extra (*Cough* hundred *cough) plus extra pounds, it should behave more.

I was wise for once instead of my normal "eh, it will be fine.." . Here is to hoping things continue to get better. Thanks for the encouragement Rev, Its good to hear I am not just being lazy.

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On 5/18/2017 at 1:17 PM, Hymnusal said:

 

Even if you don't give yourself these points you could remove the two points from the total expected (which would give you 7/8 for the day). You probably shouldn't count against yourself things that you just could not do because of a physical limitation (hurting yourself for points is a bad idea). It's better that you stayed off the leg and gave it room to recover from the "giving out" attempt. The knee that I had surgery on likes to do that "giving out" thing to me too... I wonder if it is similar to what causes yours.


See this never even occurred to me to do. It makes the most sense since your right, A teacher would of done the same thing in the class. My knee is back to normal, but it is annoying.

I really think its just a small air pocket that gets weird. The giving out 9/10 its fine on the next step but sometimes it does this. Its been like this since my surgery on it 15+ years now (I Think) so its just something it does and I ignore it. Until it does the hurt this bad. And I haven't had it be this bad in a few years, which might mean that it really is getting better and stronger, which is the goal. Heres to hoping your knee is behaving too

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Goals (Thursday)

1)      Walk 10 minutes every day. (1/1 pt) I did get to the treadmill Thurs. I was well above my goal, but I told myself I was doing it. 10:26 min got me .520 miles. I will take it since it is more than I was doing before.

 

2)      Hit 10,000 steps daily. (2/2 pts) Well, Thurs was a busy day with lots of walking. I felt like I accomplished something that day. Total steps 13,691.

 

3)      Do 60 incline pushups and 15 real pushups. (22 pts):  I got 64 incline pushups done and 15 REAL PUSHUPS... *Happy Dance* Thats right folks, I hit the goal. I almost had 16, but I am just happy I hit goal.

 

4)       Do 30  60 leg lifts on each leg. (1/1 pt) I did another 65 on Thursday as well

 

5)      Clean the peninsula every night. (1/1 pt) I got it done before I went to bed.

 

6)      Clean off my desk daily. (1/1 pt) Done.


7)      Cut the candy/cookie/Ice cream out.(2/2 pts). I was good THurs. I did have some serious cravings but I behaved.
 

Total points for a day 10/10

 

Total points so far 186/218 (I took the 2 off that I couldn't do on Weds like @Hymnusal suggested)

 

Thursday was the first day in a long time I really felt good. I was doing and I got everything done. Friday was well.. A mess and I am just exempting it since I barely had the energy to get kids to school. Not sure why, but body decided we were having a day off one way or the other. So taking what I Got, and this is where I sit.

And I got my 15 push ups... I feel better knowing I got them too.

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End of challenge Recap

 

Points awarded/points possible (percentage)

1)      Walk 10 minutes every day.  14/22 (63%)  I didn't do great on this. Looking through things, some days I had legit reasons, but some days I just wanted to be lazy. I need to get back on this regularly

 

2)      Hit 10,000 steps daily. 34/44  (77.3%)  Well, at least this is passing. I seem to do well on week days when I was working, but weekends were hit or miss. This will only get harder as summer starts and I am working different and less hours due to caring for agents. Might be time to implement morning walks.

 

3)      Do 60 incline pushups and 15 real pushups.

         Incline Pushups 19/22 (86%). This is okay. I started at only doing 40 at a time and finished by doing 64 the last day of challenge. I will take that as as win, even if part of me wonders if I could of done more if I practiced more.

         Regular Pushups 19/22 (86%) Again this is okay. I started by doing 2 the first day of the challenge. I finished at 15. Which was all I was hoping for. They may not be the prettiest of things, but they are doing something and that is what I Need to focus on.. How much stronger I am getting.

 

4)       Do 30  60 leg lifts on each leg. 21/22 (95%) Sadly, this is more what I expect of myself. I am proud of how well I did here. I started at 0 really (the day of the challenge started I got 30 but I hadn't done any before that) and got to 65 on the last day of the challenge.  Here is to getting stronger.

 

5)      Clean the peninsula every night. 22/22 (100%) THis was a huge thing to do. It felt good and I wasn't as embarrassed if Youngest agent brought a friend home from school. It just allowed some calm. Hopefully I stick to this.

 

6)      Clean off my desk daily. 22/22 (100%) Another thing that seems so small that had a huge impact. I am glad I did this and it helped me stay on track plus I didn't have nay wayward papers to deal with which with kids is always a plus.


7)      Cut the candy/cookie/Ice cream out. 32/44(72.7%) . This one I have mixed feelings about. I only had one or 2 days where I got 0 points at all, which means my sugar content in general was lower. But it still wasn't great. But if I don't allow myself something a cookie here or something there, then I will get into the dreaded diet mindset and then I will feel like I am not allowed anything and it will turn into something that will drive me insane. So moderation here and I need to be happy with that number.
 

Total points 186/218 (85.3%) I am still not happy with this, mostly since I was trained always to get As, but I see where I Need to improve and what I don't, so hopefully when I fill out next challenge in a day or 2, I will improve on it. The ones I perfect on, I am not giving up, they just won't be tracked here (They will still be tracked in my journal).

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On 2017-05-22 at 5:55 PM, Bean Sidhe said:

Total points 186/218 (85.3%) I am still not happy with this, mostly since I was trained always to get As, but I see where I Need to improve and what I don't, so hopefully when I fill out next challenge in a day or 2, I will improve on it. The ones I perfect on, I am not giving up, they just won't be tracked here (They will still be tracked in my journal).

 

Happy or no, looking at your retrospective notes it looks like you have learned some things over the course of the challenge and see what needs work. Even those insights are a big win. :) Looking forward to seeing what happens next challenge!

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I still think you have done an incredible job!

 

But I do understand how a lower score can feel very discouraging. Maybe for things like the sugar where you need an occasional indulgence to keep your mindset healthy, you could change the way you score it; like have a cap on what's acceptable for a treat and if you stay under that, you get your full points. Just an idea; I get bothered by losing points even when I know I had overall improvement too.

 

I also know you've been discouraged by not seeing as much weight loss as you would like, but the improvements you've seen in strength are great!

 

 

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8 hours ago, Hymnusal said:

 

Happy or no, looking at your retrospective notes it looks like you have learned some things over the course of the challenge and see what needs work. Even those insights are a big win. :) Looking forward to seeing what happens next challenge!

 

Thank you. I did learn a few things. I know I am probably hard on myself, but I really hate not doing better. I mean I want to be healthier (*cough thinner *cough) so badly, and I have been trying for awhile with various things. I was finally feeling better then I had that surgery 9 mo ago and It just stopped. I want back to that "I feel great if nothing else" place so very badly. 

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6 hours ago, RevQu said:

I still think you have done an incredible job!

 

But I do understand how a lower score can feel very discouraging. Maybe for things like the sugar where you need an occasional indulgence to keep your mindset healthy, you could change the way you score it; like have a cap on what's acceptable for a treat and if you stay under that, you get your full points. Just an idea; I get bothered by losing points even when I know I had overall improvement too.

 

I also know you've been discouraged by not seeing as much weight loss as you would like, but the improvements you've seen in strength are great!

 

Thank you Rev. I am hoping to weigh for the first time since April tomorrow. I am nervous for what it will say, but here is to hoping. I know not having the data point has made me nuts, but I think waiting was a good idea.

Thank you for understanding the scoring. I think the sugar may even turn into a half point thing. Ideally I would love to not eat anything but its not reasonable, so here is to hoping I do better. If thats the only thing I miss sometimes, it should be fine. Its the missing that  and steps and walking... those are really what got me. But here is to getting better

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