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Kvedulf Respawns and starts looking for Zen. Again.


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Hi all.

It's been a while since I last did a challenge. I had been making quite a bit of progress but unfortunately, a series of things mostly out of my control and a rather large reinfestation of brain weasels led to me completely falling off the wagon. It's taken this long for me to get anywhere back on track and it took a couple of messages from some fellow Rebels to give me the final push to come back here. And I'm glad I did.

 

This challenge is going to be a bit easier than some of the ones I had done (hopefully. I do have a habit of biting off waaaaay more than I can chew.) I'm focusing on those things that I had been doing that were working. I think I need to simply feel better about myself first, so that's what this challenge is about: restarting those little habits that were helping.

 

1. Drink 2 litres of water each day. 

Simple, easy and necessary. And, shock horror, it did make me feel better.

 

2. Replace all coffees (except the first morning one) with green tea.

I love the first coffee in the morning. I enjoy it. But after that, I don't really know why I drink it. Kind of like smoking. And the excess caffeine gives me too much energy which translates into feeling like a panic attack. Which then obviously turns into a panic attack. Coffee is not good for me. Green tea on the other hand leaves me feeling refreshed, relaxed, calm and focused. Which is what I need.

 

3. Do the NFBBW workout once each week.

I know it's less than what I was doing and certainly less than what I want to be be doing, but I'm not making the mistake of pushing too hard too soon.

 

4. Practice zazen meditation for 5 minutes each day

I was just starting to feel the benefits of this when I stopped last time. Not the smartest thing I've done. I want to resume meditating. I'm not going to bother setting a time for it, as that's nearly impossible to do with a three year old running around.

 

5. Work through the following to do list. I'm not going to stress over it too much if it doesn't all get done. Having a to do list that I can complete is one of the best ways for me to feel good, but I do tend to punish myself a lot if I don't get it done. My therapist and I have been working on having a "floating" deadline system that seems to be working so far.

The list:

  • Finish renovating Kvedulf Jr's new bedroom.
  • Find and buy a second hand pushbike
  • Sort out my studying options
  • Get in touch with a nearby dojo about jodo and taiko drumming classes
  • Fix my lawnmower
  • Renew Learner's licence and start learning to drive.
  • Create my Nerdfitness Battle log.

 

So that's it. Hopefully a relatively stress free easing back into the Rebellion. I do want to resume my samurai challenges, but for now it's baby steps.

 

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Following!

 

3 hours ago, Kvedulf said:

My therapist and I have been working on having a "floating" deadline system that seems to be working so far.

I'd love to hear more about this since self-imposed deadlines is something I struggle with.

 

And your goals sounds really good. :)

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Yaaaaaay you're back! I am maxichuffed to see you around the boards again. I can certainly relate to falling off the wagon when things get rough (why don't virtuous wagons ever have safety belts? And why is there always a wagon of slothful overeating tailgating just behind, waiting to catch anyone who falls off??) but you're doing all the right things by coming back, focusing on building up momentum through morale-improving self-care goals.

 

15 hours ago, Kvedulf said:

1. Drink 2 litres of water each day. 

Simple, easy and necessary. And, shock horror, it did make me feel better

 

When I was being more rigourous about my morning routine, I had a little ritual: wake up and go to the bathroom, weigh myself, and then drink one glass of water before I went on with my day. It was great. I'd read that people are often slightly dehydrated in the morning, so some water first thing helps you wake up more quickly and get the brain and body feeling better and functioning more efficiently and easily. Really recommend!

 

Add me to the list of people curious about the floating deadlines. And it's great to see you starting meditation again. I remember you talking about how much good it did you before.

 

Your to-do list is full of really positive, building-for-the-future things, which is cheering :)

 

 

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@Severine I took your advice and started the day with a glass of water. It definitely worked. Felt so much better within moments. Thanks for the tip!

 

The floating deadline thing is pretty simple really. I think "normal" people do it all the time. I just have trouble doing it. But basically, for all things that I need to do that don't have a set in stone date (bills, appointments etc) I set a date to get it done by. If it doesn't get done by that date, I have to look at the page, say "that's ok" and reschedule the date to the next available day, which is usually the next day. Simple as that. Because I'm the kind of person that once they have a deadline will move hell to get it done, I don't really have the issue of being lazy and just changing the date. What it does though is help me not berate and criticize myself into the foetal position for not completing something when I thought I would get it done, when it has no real repurcussions if it gets done today or tomorrow.

 

@Bookish Badger Kvedulf Jr still loves his dinosaurs and still refers to them as "Gabetz". He loves them so much that he wanted to go the Queensland Museum to see the dinosaurs for his third birthday. I feel like I should state that he goes to the museum about once a month anyway. He's also fallen in love with all things rockets and will happily watch youtube videos of NASA launches or space shuttle footage for half an hour at a time. Pretty good for a three year old I think.

On a less positive note, his speech is really lagging but we've finally been able to get a doctor to refer him to all the necessary speech pathologists and specialists, so that's good that the all is rolling finally. He's also going into hospital next Tuesday to have his tonsils and adenoids removed.

 

On the challenge note, I had two coffees yesterday (One in the morning and one at night), drank 1.5L of water and got my meditation in.

Today, so far I've drunk my water, had 1 coffee and even meditated :)

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8 minutes ago, Kvedulf said:

The floating deadline thing is pretty simple really. I think "normal" people do it all the time. I just have trouble doing it. But basically, for all things that I need to do that don't have a set in stone date (bills, appointments etc) I set a date to get it done by. If it doesn't get done by that date, I have to look at the page, say "that's ok" and reschedule the date to the next available day, which is usually the next day. Simple as that. Because I'm the kind of person that once they have a deadline will move hell to get it done, I don't really have the issue of being lazy and just changing the date. What it does though is help me not berate and criticize myself into the foetal position for not completing something when I thought I would get it done, when it has no real repurcussions if it gets done today or tomorrow.

Cool, thanks for telling us. And I don't know about "normal" people, what are those things? ;)

 

But really, how we deal with deadlines or not seems very different from person to person. For me, I missed so many of my self-imposed deadlines in the past (usually to do with school work) that my mind kinda laughs when I try to set those deadlines because it knows they mean nothing. Except, I've been rehabilitating that, so it doesn't laugh quite as loud anymore, nor does it snicker behind my back. It started with setting deadlines I really cared about, those things I want to get done, rather than setting them for things I knew I had to do in that way.

 

Now I can set them for things I have to do and know I'll get to them in that time span or very shortly after. (Like I have a plan for getting the last things done before my move next week, and I know at most a task will be delayed for the next day, and most things will get done on the day I say I meant to do them.)

 

Now outside set deadlines I will often do whatever I can to hit, and usually the 100% push comes a few hours before the deadline. So there I've been working on getting myself to start the work earlier so I don't have to stress quite so much the hours before the deadline.

 

Different problems for different kinds of deadlines. :)

Maybe because my problems are so different depending on type of deadline is why I find it fascinating to learn about other people's techniques, also because I hope one of them can help me. :)

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Fair enough. My biggest problem is that without a deadline, I don't start moving. I work really well when I'm time pressured. So even a self imposed deadline works well for me. The flipside is that if I fail to achieve the deadline, I lose all momentum a sthe brainweasels systematically attack. Hence this system, which seems to work for me. 

 

And I'm not too sure about normal people. I think I met one once *shudder* :P

 

@Severine Maxichuffed is now my new favourite word. 

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13 hours ago, Kvedulf said:

@Severine I took your advice and started the day with a glass of water. It definitely worked. Felt so much better within moments. Thanks for the tip!

 

Awesome! Water is pretty magical. It's almost like our cells need it to function or something :D

 

13 hours ago, Kvedulf said:

The floating deadline thing is pretty simple really. I think "normal" people do it all the time.

 

Normal people...what are they all about? Mystifying. Good Arcade Fire song though.

 

Thanks for explaining the deadlines. I actually already do that, sort of. But sometimes the fake deadline doesn't fool me and I still don't do the thing  <_<  What helped me was adding a new rule: if I have to push something back three times, I stop and ask if it really needs to happen. Sometimes it does, and I just have to suck it up and do it. But sometimes a thing getting continually pushed back is a sign that it's not actually worth spending my time on.

 

13 hours ago, Kvedulf said:

On a less positive note, his speech is really lagging but we've finally been able to get a doctor to refer him to all the necessary speech pathologists and specialists, so that's good that the all is rolling finally. He's also going into hospital next Tuesday to have his tonsils and adenoids removed.

 

My little sister had a really serious speech impediment as a kid (her teacher actually used to pull me out of class to translate what she was trying to say, which annoyed my mother a lot) but after about a year with the speech therapist it was totally gone. 

 

As for his interests, I think the next logical step is dinosaurs from space! My partner D sometimes reminisces about an 80's cartoon called Dinosaucers about (you guessed it) dinosaurs from space.

 

12 hours ago, Kvedulf said:

@Severine Maxichuffed is now my new favourite word. 

 

Haha, excellent! I love the way it sounds.

 

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Welcome back, friend! I'm glad to see you're taking it slow to ease back into things. While I miss the old theme, I'm sure you'll be swinging a samurai sword again in no time :) I also like your approach to your deadlines. It's so important to be able to look at a missed deadline or any "failure" and tell yourself that it's OK. I've been trying to do that and take it easy on myself if I miss a quest or something. It can be so damaging to dwell too much on the "negatives."

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Quick update for the week:

Have been drinking at least 2 litres of water each day. 

There was two days this week when I had a second coffee. I'm really happy about that because two weeks ago I was averaging at least 6-8 coffees each day. 

Meditation is going well. Not feeling any benefits yet but I know it will take time, like everything else. 

Haven't done my workout this week :(

On the to do list side of things, I've finished the painting, put in the flooring and the skirting for Kvedulf Jr's new bedroom. Ms Kvedulf also helped me fill out the paperwork for the government department to sort out my refund and reenrolment for study. 

 

So aftef week 1 I'm really happy with my challenge.

 

Also Kvedulf Jr is going into hospital for his operation tomorrow. Feeling pretty anxious about that :(

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14 minutes ago, Kvedulf said:

So aftef week 1 I'm really happy with my challenge.

Happy to hear this.

 

15 minutes ago, Kvedulf said:

Also Kvedulf Jr is going into hospital for his operation tomorrow. Feeling pretty anxious about that :(

Crossing my fingers everything will go great. *crosses fingers*

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On 5/1/2017 at 3:52 AM, Kvedulf said:

Quick update for the week:

Have been drinking at least 2 litres of water each day. 

There was two days this week when I had a second coffee. I'm really happy about that because two weeks ago I was averaging at least 6-8 coffees each day. 

Meditation is going well. Not feeling any benefits yet but I know it will take time, like everything else. 

Haven't done my workout this week :(

On the to do list side of things, I've finished the painting, put in the flooring and the skirting for Kvedulf Jr's new bedroom. Ms Kvedulf also helped me fill out the paperwork for the government department to sort out my refund and reenrolment for study. 

 

So aftef week 1 I'm really happy with my challenge.

 

Also Kvedulf Jr is going into hospital for his operation tomorrow. Feeling pretty anxious about that :(

 

Hope the surgery went well! Just poking you for an update. How are things?

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Hi,  thanks for checking in on me, @Severine. Life's been crazy the past two weeks. Post surgery toddlers are NOT fun at all. Ms Kvedulf and I were operating on about 4 hours of sleep a night and Kvedulf Jr was in almost constant pain. Was not fun. As far as life experiences go I give it 1 star. 

 

Thankfully though,  he's better now and actually seems like a happier little boy. He also seems to be more communicative, but I'm not sure if I'm imagining that or not. 

 

Needless to say, the challenge has kind of fallen by the wayside. The only thing I've managed to do is actually cut out the coffee after the first one. I'm actually doing that. And Jr's room is almost finished. Pretty happy with that and I may share pics :) But I'm not beating myself up about this challenge being a bust: unhappy and hurting toddler was more important. 

 

Will check in on everyone later today. 

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16 hours ago, Kvedulf said:

Needless to say, the challenge has kind of fallen by the wayside. The only thing I've managed to do is actually cut out the coffee after the first one. I'm actually doing that. And Jr's room is almost finished. Pretty happy with that and I may share pics :) But I'm not beating myself up about this challenge being a bust: unhappy and hurting toddler was more important. 

 

Congrats on the coffee control and I'm glad Kvedulf Jr. is doing better! Keep up the good work!

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