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Owlet Evicts the Devil King


Owlet

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Boooooo. I hope you and your doctor can sort it out. That sucks so hard. :( I'm glad you got your paintings done though!

 

also your finger thing is super gross yikes. I hope that heals up soon. 

 

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1 minute ago, fleaball said:

Boooooo. I hope you and your doctor can sort it out. That sucks so hard. :( I'm glad you got your paintings done though!

 

also your finger thing is super gross yikes. I hope that heals up soon. 

 

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Kitties! <3 I want kitties so bad

 

Yeah I was super grossed out. I started feeling faint several times and kept having to sit down while I was dealing with it. Thank goodness for nurses! 

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Kitties are literally the best thing ever and everyone should have at least one. Preferably seven. 

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Oh Owlet that sounds incredibly awful :(:(:( I hope your finger heals up well. Keep an eye out for infection and be sure to go back to the doctor if there starts to be a lot of red skin around the wound, especially if the red starts moving further up your finger/hand.

 

So sorry to hear you're feeling down. It really does sound like the pill is at least a partial culprit. An experiment without it definitely sounds like a good idea. There are plenty of other options and I hope the doctor listens to you and takes your concerns seriously.

 

Good luck with your show/exhibit thing!

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5 hours ago, Severine said:

Oh Owlet that sounds incredibly awful :(:(:( I hope your finger heals up well. Keep an eye out for infection and be sure to go back to the doctor if there starts to be a lot of red skin around the wound, especially if the red starts moving further up your finger/hand.

 

So sorry to hear you're feeling down. It really does sound like the pill is at least a partial culprit. An experiment without it definitely sounds like a good idea. There are plenty of other options and I hope the doctor listens to you and takes your concerns seriously.

 

Good luck with your show/exhibit thing!

Basically all this. So I'm quoting because it is quicker than re-typing. ;)

 

Also *hugs*

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On 5/28/2017 at 5:02 PM, Severine said:

I know I'm late on this but I wanted to respond to a few things so hopefully it won't be annoying to comment on old stuff:

  • I am not an HR professional obviously, but I have supervised a lot of people, and I've been involved in designing employee evaluation protocols at a few different jobs, and in my view the system your work is using is really badly designed. The basic principles of good evaluations are that in order for them to be useful, you have to ask relevant questions to people who are actually in a position to answer from their own experience, and you have to control for bias and interpersonal issues and other disruptive factors as much as possible. Your work appears to be asking random people a selection of questions that they don't have information to answer. And probably most people will just make something up because they don't want to make waves. While I think you're probably more worried than you should be (I think your outcome is likely to be fine) I definitely think you're right about the eval process being shit.

Yuuuup. The majority of my office is made up of very easy-going guys who definitely don't want to make waves. Which makes for a pleasantly drama-free work environment but occasionally I wish they would stand up for themselves and not just leave it to the 3 or so of us who get riled up (and happen to be female.) I agree that my situation will most likely be fine, but the whole thing pissed me off and has got me feeling on edge around all my co-workers since any one of them could be giving feedback. This isn't making my work any better either. If anything it's making it worse since I'm more stressed and unhappy. I'll be glad when it's over. I'm actually looking forward to it now a little bit because I want to talk to them about the possibility of taking on more interesting tasks or (ideally) transferring to a different department. 

 

On 5/28/2017 at 5:02 PM, Severine said:

Your friend might have meant well, but I think her advice is a feelgood platitude and not actually useful advice. Like sure, obviously, if you're in a job you dislike it makes sense to focus on making the experience as good as it can be while you're there, rather than fixating on the bad. But you don't want to just sit around focusing all your energy on improving at a job you don't want to have, either. The idea that working to be better at your current job makes you "sure to advance to a position that brings you more joy" is just...so often not true. It might make it easier to cope with the current job, but if you want to move on to something else, which you do, it's important to recognize the feelings that you're in the wrong place, and to let yourself use the dissatisfaction as fuel for positive change.

This reminded me of a disagreement I had with my friend ages ago - she was of the opinion that you should just suck it up and make the most of whatever situation you're in, whereas I was saying I think it's important to find a job that you're naturally good at and enjoy - that's it's kind of a waste of time to expend so much effort to be good at a job you hate and aren't suited to. Obviously there's usually a combination of those factors at play, but I still stand by the general principle. I think she does too tbh, judging by her actions. She just likes playing devil's advocate. 

 

On 5/28/2017 at 5:02 PM, Severine said:
  • I obviously have zero information on your job performance (note to owlet's workplace: I am one of many people unqualified to fill out an eval form!) but from what I have seen you're a conscientious, kind, intelligent person who genuinely wants to always do her best and contribute to the world in a positive way. And I am sure you bring that attitude to work, and that despite whatever ups and downs you might have had there, that shines through to people.

My school reports always said I was a conscientious hard worker :'D Maybe that's partly why I'm hating it so much at the moment: I do like to feel as if I'm doing a good job and pleasing people... unfortunately I'm so bored out of my mind I'm not working as hard as I could, so I feel guilty about that. But also too bored to change. Ugh.

 

On 5/28/2017 at 5:02 PM, Severine said:
  • I'm sorry your ex contacted you and I hope everything is okay in that department.

I ended up replying and asking him to please stop messaging me as it makes me anxious. Told him I will contact him when I'm ready. He didn't reply to that so I guess he listened. And then of course I got worried about if he's ok and felt bad for refusing to talk to him. Even though I know that's silly. 

 

On 5/28/2017 at 5:02 PM, Severine said:

One of my best friends from high school is an actress and she's never made it big. She does small plays and commercials and one-woman shows at art festivals, and she sometimes does side jobs (coffee shop, hosting at conventions and stuff) in order to bring in enough money. People have been telling her since she was 15 that it's a crazy and stupid idea and it would never work. And some of those people look at her now and think they've been proved right. But those people in my opinion are close-minded, and caught in a mentality that money and fame are the only ways to measure success. She is happy, and she gets to do what she loves for a living. She made the conscious choice to live a low income lifestyle in order to spend her days the way she wants.* That's a valid choice and I think she's brave and wise for knowing the right choice for her and not letting people scare or pressure her out of it. I think people criticize those 'dreamers' in large part because they want to make themselves feel better about their own choices to compromise their passions for practical and money-based reasons. Being an artist might not be for you, but if it is, don't let people tell you it's impossible. It might require creativity and flexibility and the odd stint working as a fill-in receptionist between gallery shows, and you might never have enough money for overseas vacations or a new car, but it's still your choice to make and nobody else's.

It's probably my stupid tendency to want to please people screwing me over again here: since I was a kid I've had people telling me I should be an artist, but also people (sometimes the same ones) telling me to settle for less. Which would be all well and good except that they are echoing my own thoughts and indecision. It's bad enough dealing with your own doubts, let alone everyone elses! At least my parents have never tried to sway me in any particular direction, I am very grateful for that. As far as random fill work goes - I've worked cafe jobs before, thinking it'd be a good way to pay the rent and allow me enough spare time to make art. But I always get so angry and dissatisfied from working in hospo that I don't even make any art. Maybe it could work if I didn't try to do both at once.

 

After all that, if you're still reading... I feel ok about most of it right now. The show is this weekend and I've had really good responses from people who've seen the paintings I submitted. The work situation is bad but I know it's not forever. My finger is nicely bandaged. I'm choosing to believe my ex is fine. But all that aside, I still feel so meh. The feeling doesn't seem closely associated with anything that's going on anymore. More that the feeling just makes it a bit harder to deal with anything that crops up. I really hope something good comes out of seeing my doctor tomorrow. 

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hugs. <3

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6 hours ago, Owlet said:

Going back to earlier challenges I did this year, with the knowledge of when I was on the pill and when I wasn't, is a revelation. Also there are some real gems of wisdom in there from everyone :) So many wise nerds <3

 

That's great! I've thought about going back to some of my older challenges to get some help for current issues, as well. I'm glad you're finding it useful :) I wish you can find some moments of rest, and that the solutions you need will find you soon enough!

 

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1 hour ago, Ensi said:

 

That's great! I've thought about going back to some of my older challenges to get some help for current issues, as well. I'm glad you're finding it useful :) I wish you can find some moments of rest, and that the solutions you need will find you soon enough!

Thanks :) Yeah I really recommend going over previous challenges. It's so easy to forget lessons you already learned. 

 

Doctors appointment was a mixed success. She asked why I wanted to stop taking the pill and as soon as I started talking her face just fell and she said depression is one of the most common side effects. She didn't try to argue it for a second. So that's good. The bad news is there's no good alternative both in terms of contraception and something to help my skin. Since the acne is hormonal, treating that is always going to affect my moods. The only non-hormonal treatment also has depression as a potential side effect, along with a bunch of gnarly stuff :/ I asked my brother about it because he took it as a teenager but he says it's hard to tell if it affected his moods since being a teenager is a moody business anyway. He did say his lips got horribly dry and never recovered. 

 

So basically, I'm going to try going off the pill again and check that my mood does improve. Then we'll try and tackle the skin issues separately. Ugh. I'm not looking forward to this process to be honest. It was rough coming off the pill so I know I've got a few weeks of hypersensitivity and emotions coming up. Not great given the current work environment. But hey, I don't think there would ever be a good time to do it. 

 

Not much else to report. Another boring day at work, feeling grumpy at my flatmates and general tired and irritable af. Going to skype mum though, that'll be nice. 

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Ugh, Owlet, you definitely hit a rough patch. I hope all this trouble ends soon.

Sending warm cuteness to make you feel better:

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Sorry the only solution is to just get off the pill, but at the same time it'll eventually turn out better.

 

4 hours ago, Owlet said:

I am so cat-clucky :'D I should just get my act together and do all the things I want to do before getting a cat so then I can get a cat. Flufffffffffyyyyy :D 

Do it! :D

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Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

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I know people have said eating less sugar, cutting carbs, dropping processed foods, etc. helped their acne. Is that a separate issue from hormonal acne? 

 

Also yes. Get a cat. Then we can all visit and fawn over both of you. 

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5 hours ago, fleaball said:

I know people have said eating less sugar, cutting carbs, dropping processed foods, etc. helped their acne. Is that a separate issue from hormonal acne? 

 

Also yes. Get a cat. Then we can all visit and fawn over both of you. 

Yeah I thought about it, and I'm sure it wouldn't hurt... but right now sugar is the only joy in my day.... so not right now. Also I'm sceptical as to how much it would help since we're not just talking the odd spot but big, painful pimples every day. Even in the time between washing my face right before bed and waking up, my face gets suuuper oily. I spoke to mum about it last night and she said the only time her skin was good was when she was pregnant and then after menopause. Even then, she said she just had a breakout this week, and she's 65... fuck me. On the plus side she doesn't look 65. But yeah, not great. Also not terrible in the greater scheme of things. I should really make a new challenge. And get a cat. And quit my job. 

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Ha, I only meant it as maybe there's an option beyond bc. I'm sure you'll figure it out. Maybe just switching brands is an option? The one I'm on is supposed to help with PMDD and some other things, so causing depression seems counterproductive. Granted I have no idea how hormones and biology actually work so I could be super wrong. 

 

yesss cats and challenges and no jobs. Sounds like a recipe for success. 

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7 minutes ago, fleaball said:

Ha, I only meant it as maybe there's an option beyond bc. I'm sure you'll figure it out. Maybe just switching brands is an option? The one I'm on is supposed to help with PMDD and some other things, so causing depression seems counterproductive. Granted I have no idea how hormones and biology actually work so I could be super wrong. 

Doc said any other bc with progesterone in it will likely have the same affect, except one brand that miiight be ok. But of course it isn't subsidised so it's like $50 a month or something. That said, my doctor didn't give me any definitive answers, so it is more of an ongoing experiment/conversation. She's going to test my blood in a month or two to see if PCOS or something else is an issue. I gotta say, reading your threads has made me really appreciate the public health system here, ie not having to deal with insurance companies. I don't know how you do it!

 

11 minutes ago, fleaball said:

 

yesss cats and challenges and no jobs. Sounds like a recipe for success.

Doesn't it though!

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My sister had really really bad acne from about 16-24. On some days you could barely see her skin from all the red. She tried a million things (including some really scary meds with advertised side effects like suicidal thoughts, which freaked my mum out) but eventually she switched to a mix of dietary cleanup and herbal/oil-based treatments. I don't pretend to understand it, but I know she cut out all processed foods (she has iron willpower, damn her) and spent 45 minutes in the bathroom every morning and night. She'd cover her face in an olive oil salve or something similar and then massage it in and sleep and then wash it off in the morning. I think? Sorry for how vague this is. She got really into natural remedies and traditional aboriginal medicine and that's where she got it from. Not sure if it was that, or just growing out of it, but her skin did clear up and she has almost no scarring which is pretty amazing considering how bad it was.

 

I realize that's not helpful but basically just echoing what flea said, that there might be other things that could help. Even if they don't totally fix it. And who knows, maybe if you're not depressed you won't crave sugar as much? It'd be good to have so many joy sources sugar seems like an afterthought :)

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2 minutes ago, Owlet said:

Doc said any other bc with progesterone in it will likely have the same affect, except one brand that miiight be ok. But of course it isn't subsidised so it's like $50 a month or something. That said, my doctor didn't give me any definitive answers, so it is more of an ongoing experiment/conversation. She's going to test my blood in a month or two to see if PCOS or something else is an issue. I gotta say, reading your threads has made me really appreciate the public health system here, ie not having to deal with insurance companies. I don't know how you do it!

Ugh that's so obnoxious. I hate medical mysteries. And lolz, yeah, our healthcare system is a hot mess. I've never had this much trouble before though and I'm guessing it's just because my current insurance is a school program and thus a pain in the ass because they don't want 18-year-olds bouncing around to different doctors for no reason? 

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4 minutes ago, Severine said:

 

I realize that's not helpful but basically just echoing what flea said, that there might be other things that could help. Even if they don't totally fix it. And who knows, maybe if you're not depressed you won't crave sugar as much? It'd be good to have so many joy sources sugar seems like an afterthought :)

Yeah definitely. I've had stints of not eating sugar in the past and it was ok, so it's definitely a possibility. I'm sure once I sort out the moods then other options will feel more viable. 

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He who conquers others is strong; he who conquers himself is mighty.

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