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I got off track, and lost my way. Life got complicated and I allowed that to be my reason for not taking care of myself. Not only did I stop losing weight, but I also gained some. I feel pretty terrible about myself, and realized finally that I can't continue to feel this way. So, I'm back. I want to find a place to connect in this community and get back on track! And, I hope that this time, I can stick with it. I'm working on aligning and balancing the rest of my life, too.

 

 

My biggest problems are a hostile workplace that is absolutely destroying me and which I am contemplating leaving, a habit of comfort eating/bingeing, a habit of putting off nutrition, fitness, and health when under extreme stress, depression and burnout, and a new problem with my foot which appears to be plantar fasciitis+stress fracture.

 

 

I really, really need to lose weight. I've got a few months away from the office and can work from home, which gives me the freedom to be flexible in my workout/health routine. I'm hoping to spend the next 15 weeks getting on track, staying on track, and making progress -- both with my fitness and with my life. I'd love to participate here, again, as I do so. I feel embarrassed that I failed, before, but love love love that there is a respawn point because it encourages me to believe that others have gotten off track and then returned!

 

 

 

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Attempting Challenge: November 26 to December 23.

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On ‎5‎/‎4‎/‎2017 at 11:12 PM, psychic-lipstick said:

My biggest problems are a hostile workplace that is absolutely destroying me and which I am contemplating leaving, a habit of comfort eating/bingeing, a habit of putting off nutrition, fitness, and health when under extreme stress, depression and burnout, and a new problem with my foot which appears to be plantar fasciitis+stress fracture.

 

I really, really need to lose weight. I've got a few months away from the office and can work from home, which gives me the freedom to be flexible in my workout/health routine. I'm hoping to spend the next 15 weeks getting on track, staying on track, and making progress -- both with my fitness and with my life. I'd love to participate here, again, as I do so. I feel embarrassed that I failed, before, but love love love that there is a respawn point because it encourages me to believe that others have gotten off track and then returned!

 

Hey!  *waves*  It's so hard when your job interferes with how you want to live life.  A break from the office seems like a good time to set up good habits - ones you can keep at work.  We're here for you!

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Holtzmann is my copilot.

"have you ever thought 'i am not good enough to do this?' THATS THE SOUND OF YOUR REVERSE TWIN. do not listen. you are good enough to do this" - Chuck Tingle

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As they say, things get worse before they get better. I feel awful about myself and the shape I’m in, low about my abilities to overcome my problems and get back into shape, terrible about my constant failures in my fitness journey, but I haven’t given up, yet. I seem to be crawling and clawing my way forward, but at least I’m still trying.

 

I don’t have a fitness routine that works for me yet, one that I can stick with beyond a week or two. I haven’t overcome my poor eating habits. And, I think I need to be more realistic about my situation, my obstacles, and my goals (they need to be attainable so I can stick to this plan and not get discouraged). Easier to address a problem if you can be honest about the problems, right?

 

So far, I’ve managed to detach from work a bit: I’m less invested in my workplace, but still doing a good enough job, and I don’t care as much about the drama and the so-called noise of it all. But, I’m afraid that my “not caring” has also been turned onto myself; maybe I’m not caring enough about myself. My foot is finally better, and I’m able to walk and run and other stuff, though I am embarrassed by how out of shape I am, which makes me afraid to go out and do things sometimes. I started re-learning how to ride a bike, which is fun but so hard when you don’t feel at home in your body. So, I go out at night when fewer people see me in the neighborhood, and usually with my siblings (who are way better at being fit and who don’t realize that fat-shaming me isn’t a good form of motivation). I’ve been eating better, mostly, but haven’t gotten out of the habit of emotional eating yet. So, I’ll eat well, mostly, and when things get terrible, I binge on awful things and feel guilty afterward. My depression got pretty intense for me (I realized that I have a lot of unresolved issues, also that watching superhero movies and TV strangely helps me to see my own issues a bit more clearly!) and I feel like months of my life slipped away into some gloomy cloud. Lately, though, I’m fighting against it, and hoping to get back on track with my fitness! So, here’s me, still trying!

 

I think I might try to check in here once a week. I haven’t been here because I didn’t have any victories to report, but it occurs to me that this is less about announcing one’s victories and more about sharing experiences of our journeys. [emoji4]

 

I’ve got some goals for December that I hope to refine, later (feedback welcome!):

 

1) Exercise every day, at least for 30 minutes. I should probably figure out a plan and a time that I can commit to. And, I need to stick to this rather than just working out for a week and then neglecting it for the next two or three.

 

2) Meal Planning, and eating stuff I prepare, every day. This is going to be challenging, but I need to make the time for it. I need to do some research on this stuff.

 

3) Stress Management so that my emotional state doesn’t interfere with my efforts at improving my fitness: meditate, journal, plan, every day. This one isn’t well thought out, but I realize that lack of inner stability is what manifests on the outside for me.

 

Somewhere along the way, I’ve developed a self-loathing that is neither charming, nor interesting. I don’t want to be the villain of my own story, so...here is to hoping for some change. Anyone got ideas on how to improve one’s self image or stay motivated? :)

 

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Attempting Challenge: November 26 to December 23.

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So, I love the idea of connecting to people on this forum because I like hearing what others are going through. I feel like I'm still figuring out how to navigate the forum, though. It's probably much easier than I'm making it out to be. I noticed that a new challenge has just begun and that people are posting there and commenting on respawning in that place, too. I don't want to leave dozens of abandoned threads or anything, but I suspect that since I want to commit to a challenge, I should probably shift over to that section. So, I am moving myself over there to the challenge forum and will create a new thread under the Level 1category! :) But, I will come back here to update when I've gotten myself into a good routine to explain how the Re-Spawn itself (or, as I am imagining it, re-commitment to a fitness regimen) is going! :) I hope that's how I am supposed to use this forum. If I'm wrong, someone please private-message me so I can figure out what I'm doing wrong, as I learn to navigate this place. :) Thanks for listening, and for your support, everyone.

Attempting Challenge: November 26 to December 23.

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