The Nerd Fitness Arena

[DarK_RaideR]

There’s this little manager videogame called Total Extreme Wrestling that I’ve been playing for a while, but since the beginning of 2017 I started to keep a diary of how things progressed and include the shows as a narrative between my challenge updates. The game uses a database of original fantasy characters, but its editor has allowed the community to produce various real life and fantasy mods. I recently dabbled into one of them, aptly called the OVER 9000 universe, which includes an insane number of superheroes, real world people, movie, comic book, videogame, anime and other characters.

 

You probably see where this is going, but I want to do more than just present an interesting read for my fellow nerds. I’m making it interactive.

 

I will be creating a new promotion in the game, called Nerd Fitness Arena and you, the reader, get to pick one character for the starting roster by sending a Private Message to me asking whether a certain character is available. The game world already includes several other promotions, so expect big names like Batman, Ruy, Vegeta and Pikachu to be unavailable. Instead of dropping a huge list of available names, I’ll let you pick someone out of the blue, so try to be as creative (and crazy) as possible!

 

Deadline to pick a character for the starting roster is Sunday, May 14. More players can join in at later stages when the company expands and there’s time to sign more people. From there on, you are welcome to exert creative control on your chosen character, from choosing their gimmick and who they become allies or enemies with to even helping me put together what they say on the microphone or do in video angles between matches. Shows will be posted every Monday and Thursday. I will make all booking decisions as to who beats who, as well as filling in for any creative decisions that players do not provide. It is not required to submit creative decisions but it is certainly encouraged. This makes the whole thing a kind of interactive collaborative storytelling, as you can either sit back and watch your chosen worker achieve success (or failure) on their own, or help guide them to said successes (and failures) yourself.

[deftona]

Here! About to PM! 

[WhiteGhost]

PM Sent

[DarK_RaideR]

@WhiteGhost shoots first and picks....

 

"The One-Eyed Visionary" Xiahou Dun!

Originally a short-tempered man in his youth, Xiahou Dun rose to the rank of general in the Chinese Imperial Army. From that position, he led Cao Cao's army to several military battles, until one day on the battlefield of Xiapi, he took a stray arrow to the eye (and not the knee). While that would have incapacitated a lesser man, Xiahou removed his arrow-pierced eye, declared that it was a gift from his ancestors, and ate it. He hunted and killed the archer responsible for his injury soon after. Despite the loss of his one eye, he earned fame and prestige along with an awesome eyepatch. The experience left him a changed man and ever since he became a lawful and cultured general as he aged, focused more in the field of politics and logistics. He still maintains his rank and activities, but has retired from the battlefield, taking his skills to the ring instead.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

PM sent.

[DarK_RaideR]

Chaplain @Tanktimus the Encourager picks...

 

William Joseph "BJ" Blazkowicz Jr!

William Joseph "B.J." Blazkowicz is the son of Arthur Blazkowicz and grandson of William Joseph "B.J." Blazkowicz Sr, famous for raiding the Nazi stronghold of Castle Wolfenstein during WW II. When the entire family found itself transported into the world of the 9000-Verse, they were shocked to discover that Hitler had himself cryogenically frozen, waiting for the day when technology and the occult (Nazi's have always been a big fan of the dark arts) had advanced far enough to thaw him out and grant his body with new power to take over the globe. Illuminati-based cybernetics were augmented into his body with the aid of his SS mystics, essentially giving him the power, durability, and strength of a man many years below his true age. Responding to his bloodline's call, the youngest of the Blazkowicz family picked up the gauntlet and began to once more hunt down the world's greatest villain. His veteran grandfather sometimes shows up as his manager, passing down his own experience to his grandson.

[DarK_RaideR]

With her pick, @shaar chooses...

 

Jack Burton!

Jack Burton is a macho truck driver who came into the 9000-verse wearing a vest and a sense of confidence ten times beyond his capabilities. As a character, Jack can be best considered as a self-assured blowhard who fancies himself as an unfallable action hero, but is often overwhelmed by the circumstances he finds himself in. Regardless, fans have still taken to Burton as a likeable hero, despite his tendancy to talk a lot of hot air and inability to follow through on his bravado.

[DarK_RaideR]

What do you get when you fuse Thor, Superman and Ironman? That would be the choice of @The Most Loathed...

 

Steel!

Doctor John Henry Irons was a brilliant weapons engineer who eventually became disgusted when a powerful man-portable energy cannon he had designed fell into the wrong hands and was used to kill innocent people. As the company would have coerced him to retain his services, John faked his death, and eventually came to Metropolis. While working a construction job high up on a skyscraper, he fell off while saving a friend from the same fate. His own life was saved by none other than Superman. When John Irons asked how he could show his gratitude, Superman told him to "live a life worth saving." During Superman's fatal battle against Doomsday, Irons attempted to help Superman fight the deadly menace by picking up a sledge hammer, but was buried in rubble amidst the devastation. Shortly after Superman's death, he finally awoke and crawled from the wreckage, confused and saying that he "must stop Doomsday", a quest that has led him all the way to entering the 9000-Verse rings in pursuit.

[DarK_RaideR]

Hail to the king, baby! @Wild Wolf voiced his support for...

 

Ash Williams!

Ashley J. "Ash" Williams was just a normal schmuck who worked the housewares section of S-Mart, until one day he found the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis (rough translation: Book of the Dead) and was forced to kill all of his friends after it had possessed them with evil spirits. By the time he had escaped the horrific ordeal, he had become a total badass, to the point that he had aquired his signature "boomstick" (a double barreled sawn-off shotgun), and chopped off his right hand to replace it with a chainsaw. After being sucked through a vortex to 1300 AD, he managed to escape from that era only to wind up in the modern day 9000-verse, instead.

[DarK_RaideR]

Could it be her 9000-Verse alter ego? @Xena has chosen...

 

"The Bride" Beatrix Kiddo!

The target and one of the many victims of the bloody "El Paso Massacre", Beatrix Kiddo joined the industry after waking from a seemingly irreversible coma, intent on seeking vengeance on all of those who had taken part of the massacre that left her laying with a bullet in her head at the alter of her own wedding. Kiddo is a former member of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad (her former collegues being the ones who carried out the hit on her wedding) and a master swordswoman and practitioner of Tiger/Crane kung-fu. And while she is certainly not invincible, she is noted for having an unnerving amount of willpower to continue the fight, even after being beaten and bruised beyond what most people could take.

[WhiteGhost]

1 hour ago, DarK_RaideR said:

@WhiteGhost shoots first and picks....

 

"The One-Eyed Visionary" Xiahou Dun!

Originally a short-tempered man in his youth, Xiahou Dun rose to the rank of general in the Chinese Imperial Army. From that position, he led Cao Cao's army to several military battles, until one day on the battlefield of Xiapi, he took a stray arrow to the eye (and not the knee). While that would have incapacitated a lesser man, Xiahou removed his arrow-pierced eye, declared that it was a gift from his ancestors, and ate it. He hunted and killed the archer responsible for his injury soon after. Despite the loss of his one eye, he earned fame and prestige along with an awesome eyepatch. The experience left him a changed man and ever since he became a lawful and cultured general as he aged, focused more in the field of politics and logistics. He still maintains his rank and activities, but has retired from the battlefield, taking his skills to the ring instead.

Awesome, thanks!

[Xena]

This is awesome!

[DarK_RaideR]

@Charlie_Quinn brings in...

 

Jill Valentine!

Co-founder and Special Operations Agent of the Bioterrorism Security Assessment Alliance (BSAA), Jill Valentine originally joined the industry alongside her longtime partner, Chris Redfield, back in 2000. Although Jill was originally quite proficient in combat thanks to a military background, her abilities had never really been beyond that of ordinary humans. However, that all changed after an exposure to the T-Virus during the infamous "Mansion Incident". While the virus she encountered there was supposed to have been eradicated instead it laid dormant for many years afterwards. What this did is that it caused her body to build up a superpowered defense system which makes her immune to nearly any biochemicals and toxins that are directed towards her. Not too shabby for someone who played second fiddle to her tag partner for so long, eh?

[Wild Wolf]

 

Wolf

[DarK_RaideR]

@deftona chose to be the guiding force behind...

 

"The People's Champion" Leslie Knope!

Deputy Director of the Parks and Recreation Department of the city of Pawnee, Indiana, Leslie Knope is an over-achiever who believes the government should serve people. While this originally led her into politics, she soon found her way into the wrestling business as well, a place she can also do plenty of politicking while providing plenty of fanservice.

[Xena]

7 hours ago, DarK_RaideR said:

@deftona chose to be the guiding force behind...

 

"The People's Champion" Leslie Knope!

Deputy Director of the Parks and Recreation Department of the city of Pawnee, Indiana, Leslie Knope is an over-achiever who believes the government should serve people. While this originally led her into politics, she soon found her way into the wrestling business as well, a place she can also do plenty of politicking while providing plenty of fanservice.

 

 

oooh I hope she turns heel!

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

10 minutes ago, Xena said:

 

 

oooh I hope she turns heel!

I hope she's so self absorbed no one can tell if she's face or heel.

[deftona]

6 hours ago, Xena said:

 

 

oooh I hope she turns heel!

 

More chance of JOHN CENA!!!!11! turning heel I'd reckon.

 

6 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I hope she's so self absorbed no one can tell if she's face or heel.

 

I'm guessing you didn't watch past season one?

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

6 hours ago, deftona said:

 

More chance of JOHN CENA!!!!11! turning heel I'd reckon.

 

 

I'm guessing you didn't watch past season one?

Not yet.

[shaar]

20 hours ago, DarK_RaideR said:

@deftona chose to be the guiding force behind...

 

"The People's Champion" Leslie Knope!

Deputy Director of the Parks and Recreation Department of the city of Pawnee, Indiana, Leslie Knope is an over-achiever who believes the government should serve people. While this originally led her into politics, she soon found her way into the wrestling business as well, a place she can also do plenty of politicking while providing plenty of fanservice.

 

Oh my actual lord I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!! MWEHEHEHE~

 

 

 

[deftona]

1 hour ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Not yet.

 

She's pretty awful at the beginning. Very one dimensional and a bit of an idiot but after season one her character becomes a lot more developed. I actually picked Leslie Knope by asking my boyfriend which fictional character reminds him of me and without hesitation he picked this one.

 

I dunno, you throw bags of dog poo at kids in a park once and it lives with you forever....

[DarK_RaideR]

He would have made a great referee, if @Grumble didn't pick...

 

Judge Dredd!

Senior Judge Joseph Dredd is one of Mega-City One's law enforcement officers, who has the combined powers of police, judge, jury and even immediate executioner. It is his nature to uphold any minor infraction on the law (even jaywalkers are not safe), with the maximum possible sentences. However, his sole transfer to the largely lawless wrestling industry has seen him having to be selective of his cases, for fear of never getting any rest, otherwise Dredd is really getting on in age; however, he constantly undergoes rejuvenation treatments which has kept him fresher than he should be.

[DarK_RaideR]

@EricMN takes a walk on the Dark Side by supporting...

 

Kraven the Hunter!

Real name Sergei Kravinoff, Kraven was a Russian born big game hunter and mercenary, who turned to the wrestling industry to track and hunt down the best of the best to "prove his worth" to himself and everyone. While he has a bias towards going after animal-themed workers (he especially has a soft spot for defeating Spider-Man) as well as beasts and demons, he also has no problem hunting "regular" people. By regularly ingesting a potion made from various jungle herbs, Kraven can grant himself a number of abilities including enhanced strength, speed, stamina, agility, and reflexes to make him a physical threat to the more superpowered workers of the industry. He can withstand great forces of impact, such as falling from several stories or being repeatedly struck by superhumanly strong opponents.

Kraven also has great knowledge of pressure points, and can strike at these nerve clusters with pinpoint accuracy, allowing him to incapacitate more powerful opponents or animals.

[DarK_RaideR]

With a name like @Brawlrus, it make sense he'd be the patron of...

 

Ivan Drago!

 

Ivan Drago is a Russian boxer, Olympian, an Infantry Captain for the Soviet Army, and was the main antagonist in Rocky IV. He was an amateur boxer and Olympic gold medallist from the Soviet Union, armed with a punch over 2,000 psi. Although he was able to easily defeat and kill Rocky Balboa's friend and trainer, Apollo Creed, he was knocked out by Balboa. After his loss and shaming, the Soviets recalled Drago's license so he crossed over to the wrestling business.

[DarK_RaideR]

Was a little worried with only heroes coming in, but the badguys have surged right before the deadline. Might have to add a few more characters of my own to meet the minimum required roster size. Only 10 hours left after posting this to get your requests in!