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ladylydia

Ladylydia: Still Breathing

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So my second choice offered me a job today, for 23K more then i was making at the old job. And I would basically be heading up my own office. Not bad for a second year associate.

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On ‎6‎/‎23‎/‎2017 at 6:04 PM, ladylydia said:

oh, obviously i took the job.

 

Uh, yeah? I would have some very serious questions for you if you didn't. :D

 

That's so awesome! Congratulations! Way to land on your feet!

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Congratulations Lydia! I'm sorry this was so stressful, but I'm impressed by the way you quickly jumped in and found something better.

 

 

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Started the new job yesterday. The new office has a decent gym in the basement.  I still have my other gym membership, but it may be easier to actually go workout if, all i have to do go downstairs as opposed to going across town. 

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Well, i don't love the new job. But I can tell I'll learn a lot and I'll be paid well in the meantime. So maybe in a year or so i can leave and open my own office.  That's the current plan at any rate.

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Today was one of those days that makes me wish I drank or did drugs or something.  Instead I went to the gym after work.  I didn't do much just twelve min. of intervals on the elliptical and then a simple pyramid on the lat pull down to ease back into things. 

 

15 reps @ 30 lbs

12 reps @ 40 lbs

10 reps @ 50 lbs

8 reps @ 60 lbs

6 reps @ 70 lbs.

 

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I might as well just say it.  I think I'm depressed.  It's not every day, and it actually gets better with certain aroma therapies, so I know it's a mild depression.   But still it's there. I don't think it's recent either. I've been depressed for a while, at least a few months. I'm not interested in anything. If a task or action doesn't have an obligation attached, I don't do it.  I

 

I have a psych background, so I know all the things I'm supposed to do to get better and feel normal again, but I can't shake the feeling that there's no point.

 

Anyway, figured I might as well address it.  

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Oh hey I found you!  :)

 

Is there anything little you can start working into your daily routines that can help with the black dog?  Maybe nothing huge for now, but just something to start the battle and that can help with your mindset of there being no point.  I know for me reading really helps.

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Ok, I've been talking to my mom about the depression/anxiety stuff and this past week I stated taking Valarian root.  It's a natural-path treatment for anxiety, mood disorders and insomnia.  I feel a lot better on it.  I've been very hesitant to use any sort of medication after I studied psychopharmacology in grad school, and watched the way certain drugs affected my family members.  But the Valarian doesn't seem to alter my perceptions, or emotional range, it just gives me an emotional boost in the morning and makes it easier to maintain a more stable mood throughout the day.  It's not a cure all, but thus far, it seems to take the edge off.  

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My good friend was using Valarian Root for a good year after her father passed away unexpectedly and she says it really helped her.  I'm glad you found something that takes the edge off - sometimes that's all you need to start pushing forward <3

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Ok, i have finally come to the conclusion that building a good habit is more important then gains.

 

Letting myself get focused on results and comparing myself to the way i was a few years ago. really killed my exercise habit.  So for the past week, I've been planking for 30 sec. every night and doing 15 squats and 15 pushups.  It's not a lot, it's not impressive, but it's regular. I will be doing this for the next five weeks, just to get the habit ingrained.

 

I will not set any other goals, until this six weeks are complete.

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Habits are pretty super-handy that way. I personally found that I didn't really start to get the things I wanted until I committed to daily practice, which is basically a habit. It sounds like you might be pursuing the same thing. Good luck!

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Planking and 15 squats & pushups is still going well.  And I have decided to actively plan for opening my own firm.  I hate, HATE, the way management runs things. It's all i can think about, every day, is how I would do things differently.  I don't know how I'll come up with the seed money for a business; but that is now an active goal.   I just have to stay hired long enough to afford it. 

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Neat! What kind of firm would you open up? I think I've seen this in one of your past challenges, but I don't remember what kind of law you practice...

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Well, did ok for the first few weeks. Then I fell out a bit during week four, and workouts became sporadic during weeks 5 & 6.  Staring over with a few additions for this week. 

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