NF Singles Chat Thread

[Wobbegong]

19 hours ago, Guzzi said:

Well look at that, you really do learn something new every day.  I had never even heard of that but it's good to know that I'm not alone.  Cheers Wobbegong! 

 

I felt exactly like that when I first learned asexuality was a thing. Gotta spread that info!  

[Red1263]

So here's an attempt to revive this thread:

 

Are you guys on any dating websites? or Rather, How is your journey of singleness going?

[RedPandaOne]

Nothing active at the moment. My profile is still on match, I think. And eharmony. Right now I'm working on myself. Figure I need to like me before I can get back into a relationship.

 

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[Wobbegong]

I quit OKCupid after my second fantastically awful date (both experiences are now favorite stories). Then I figured out asexuality was a thing and haven't worried much about dating since, but there are definitely times when I would like to picture myself in a happy, committed cohabitation scenario. A partner sounds kind of great, right? But then I also think, "but their mess would be everywhere, and what if they wanted cats, and I would never have the place to myself." And after I think that I just want to live by myself with some dogs forever. :/ Maybe someday I'll figure it out but in the meantime I'm just chillin' in singledom without worrying about it. 

[Kaite the Nomad]

I'm currently on a dating site. Been on a few dates, 2 with one guy who seems alright but it's hard to tell if there's anything really there at the moment. I'd far rather meet someone naturally but wouldn't know where to start.

[Red1263]

I'm currently on a dating site. Been on a few dates, 2 with one guy who seems alright but it's hard to tell if there's anything really there at the moment. I'd far rather meet someone naturally but wouldn't know where to start.

 

Usually this happens when you're out and about, doing things that you enjoy. Look around you, and look at your routine, maybe change a few things here or there and you'll run into all sorts of new people

 

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[Frost of the Gloaming]

Regarding the whole meeting people. I saw on TV one of those dating websites has almost a missed connection thing where if someone else is also using "blank" and you pass them on the street it will supposedly let you know where and when, or if they frequent that same place, seems a little intrusive to me but also at the same time it's intriguing, how many times have you passed someone that you would have a great connection with but because of life you passed them right by

[Kaite the Nomad]

On 20/06/2017 at 7:09 PM, Red1263 said:

 

Usually this happens when you're out and about, doing things that you enjoy. Look around you, and look at your routine, maybe change a few things here or there and you'll run into all sorts of new people

 

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With my current routine there's no chance lol - I live in a village, go to zumba class there, work there, cycle around, that's about it. I thought about joining a gym in town but I think I'd just be too self conscious to use the equipment.

[Red1263]

With my current routine there's no chance lol - I live in a village, go to zumba class there, work there, cycle around, that's about it. I thought about joining a gym in town but I think I'd just be too self conscious to use the equipment.

 

This is where I present to you, this article: https://www.geeksaresexy.net/2014/01/13/welcome-to-erf-meeting-women-in-the-real-world/

 

Now, it's from a guy's perspective, but anyone can take advice from it.

 

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[Phoenix91]

Hello, I am also a singleton of the asexual variety.  I used to identify as bisexual but recently changed that to bi-romantic asexual.  I just don't want to have sex with other people, the idea is so off putting.  I've been on a few dating sites in the past, okcupid is so full of skeeves that i got off that site almost immediately.   I'm also really really reluctant to meet people for real life dates off those sites because there are so many horror stories in the world  .  I have gone on a few dates in the past few years but nothing too significant.  

 

I honestly love being single; the thought of having someone constantly there, being in my business and wanting to take up my free time just makes me exhausted.  I would love to meet new people and get a bigger group of friends, i do miss having male friends but it seems men are either in relationships and are reluctant to make new female friends or they just want to get to know women for the purposes of sex.  The internet has definitely made social interaction much more complicated. 

 

I am currently involved with a few groups on meetup and do need to get back to actually going out socially with some people instead of being the hermit i've become recently.

[Guzzi]

21 hours ago, Phoenix91 said:

Hello, I am also a singleton of the asexual variety.  I used to identify as bisexual but recently changed that to bi-romantic asexual.  

 

That must make it even harder to find someone to share your life (it's not easy even at the best of times!).  I know most people are almost "unaware" that asexuality is even a thing, or if they are they think it means that you don't want ANY kind of romantic/emotional relationships.  Navigating the world of online dating must be a nightmare!  

 

I hear you on enjoying the single life, it has a LOT of upsides, but the lack of snuggling is a real bummer. 

 

Personally, I suppose I'm demisexual.  I am attracted to a person because of their personality and value as a person, looks really don't affect me.  I suppose that makes it easier in some ways because I don't get attracted to good looking assholes.   At 34 years of age I'm on boyfriend no.2 and in a very happy and stable relationship.  And I'm only on no.2 because no.1 passed away.  

 

 

Quote

 I would love to meet new people and get a bigger group of friends, i do miss having male friends but it seems men are either in relationships and are reluctant to make new female friends or they just want to get to know women for the purposes of sex.  

 

Ugh yeah!  Because I'm not attracted to people as easily, and because I have a lot of "male" interests, I enjoy male company without feeling the need to flirt or look for compliments/ego boosts.  I enjoy male company simply because I can have the kind of conversations and friendship that you generally don't get with other women. 

 

I had a lot of male friends back home but since moving to a new place I've found it really difficult too.  Most men either assume I'm flirting with them, or they just don't seem to acknowledge me.

 

I can be with my bf and we meet someone he knows (a guy), start a conversation and the guy will utterly ignore me and talk only to my bf.  And I mean not even acknowledge my presence let alone my contribution to the conversation. It's infuriating!  And not something I'm used to.  If you have any advice on this one then don't hold back, please. 

[Phoenix91]

17 minutes ago, Guzzi said:

 

That must make it even harder to find someone to share your life (it's not easy even at the best of times!).  I know most people are almost "unaware" that asexuality is even a thing, or if they are they think it means that you don't want ANY kind of romantic/emotional relationships.  Navigating the world of online dating must be a nightmare!  

 

I hear you on enjoying the single life, it has a LOT of upsides, but the lack of snuggling is a real bummer. 

 

Personally, I suppose I'm demisexual.  I am attracted to a person because of their personality and value as a person, looks really don't affect me.  I suppose that makes it easier in some ways because I don't get attracted to good looking assholes.   At 34 years of age I'm on boyfriend no.2 and in a very happy and stable relationship.  And I'm only on no.2 because no.1 passed away.  

 

 

 

Ugh yeah!  Because I'm not attracted to people as easily, and because I have a lot of "male" interests, I enjoy male company without feeling the need to flirt or look for compliments/ego boosts.  I enjoy male company simply because I can have the kind of conversations and friendship that you generally don't get with other women. 

 

I had a lot of male friends back home but since moving to a new place I've found it really difficult too.  Most men either assume I'm flirting with them, or they just don't seem to acknowledge me.

 

I can be with my bf and we meet someone he knows (a guy), start a conversation and the guy will utterly ignore me and talk only to my bf.  And I mean not even acknowledge my presence let alone my contribution to the conversation. It's infuriating!  And not something I'm used to.  If you have any advice on this one then don't hold back, please. 

 

Hey,  It is totally tough to find someone to share space and time with, considering i also definitely do not wants kids, whether my own or adopted, i just don't want them.  I did find a site specifically for asexuals but it's not very busy you know.  I feel like online dating is always a nightmare for anyone who isn't cis-straight; like anytime i've gone onto dating sites there really isn't an option to search for both genders, they assume either straight or gay... i'm not completely either of those things :/

 

I've never really had a long term partner, i'm not a touchy feely type of person so the lack of a snuggler isn't a bother to me, plus i have 2 kitties who are very good in the snuggles department and when i need a more solid hug there's always my horse (who gives a very good neck squeeze!)

 

I get attracted to peoples personalities too, i really like funny people!  Isn't it sad that good looking people tend to be assholes?  I've found from dating sites that the good looking ones also tend to be the most boring and lacking in conversation.

 

I love male company, when i was younger i had a lot of male friends. I worked with a lot of guys in my job when i was in highschool and miss the interaction you get from male company who aren't trying to get you into bed :/  I have a twin brother so growing up i had male company all the time and now we live on other sides of the world which is quite hard.   I to have found (through some of the meet up groups i've gone to) that the men will either flirt, ignore or try to talk over and monopolize the conversation.  I went to one meetup where i was the only lady who turned up, it was a hike in the local reserve; i was ignored and left out of conversation so i hiked on ahead to get back to my car quicker.  I don't think i have any advice other than to maybe get your bf to include you, talk to him about it and ask him to force the issue if and when he's talking to his male friends.  You are not there as arm candy and deserve to be included, i'm sure if he made the convo more inclusive to you and allowed you to speak, even if you have to speak over the other male in the convo, it might go better.  I think men are so used to being the center of attention that when they get around other men it's really hard to break that cycle.  I either talk over them or i walk away from the conversation and get on with my day.

[Trixie Falsae]

I find myself here somewhat unexpected. I'm single but have zero interest in a romantic relationship. My previous one just ended last week. Financially I am in a good place to take care of myself and the hobbits. It's a change, and change is hard but I know there are better things coming. I'm glad to be free of the negativity and emotional black hole. I'm in both personal counseling to help deal with past and current trauma and family counseling to help us separate without becoming bitter jerks. It's both rough and easy. I actually love being single and am really looking forward to having some me time again.

[Guzzi]

Wow @Trixie Falsae!  Sorry to hear that you've been in such a negative situation.  I hope things work out with the family counselling.  A bitter split can really have a negative impact on the hobbits (coming from personal experience).  Sending internet hugs your way.