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Morag goes back to her roots [San style]


Morag

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Balancing the primal side, which thinks simple, base, emotional (sometimes violent) thoughts, and the evolved side, which thinks sustainible, healthy, inherent good thoughts.

While both sides can be kind and caring, the flavour and tone of self-talk varies dramatically. I am both sides. I have both sides. And I don't think it will ever fully change, and that's good, because I don't want to lose either of those ways of thinking and feeling.

So for the next little bit, which I imagine will be a bit rough in places, I'd like San from Princess Monoké to teach me some of her strength and wisdom.

 

 

Goal 1 do the work

8h/week (more is better) use timer, and track it, sit down (or stand up) and do the work. Plan classes, workout choreography or find excercises for training goals, study movement apparatus and "hospitieren" (=going to a class as a participant, as a way to observe and learn how people teach their classes)

 

Goal 2 clean your den

15min flylady/day keep tracking

 

Goal 3 take care of you

15 min snack prep in the a.m.

good food choices throughout

drink water (LOTS OF WATER)

move (yoga)

/every single frikkin day!

 

And "on the side" I want to be more present on here again, I did well for a bit when I first installed tapatalk, but then I muted it, because I got all these messages of threads I didn't even want to follow and then I didn't get any messages, now I unmuted it, am still not getting updates and overall am a little grrrrr with the whole thing.

But I miss ya, so I am going to figure this out!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Like 8

Katrin the Morag Lvl 22 Cadet, half klingon, c-licensed trainer, mother of two, gaming nerd

 

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Road map to Level 50

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Those sound like some pretty interesting challenge goals! Following. I agree about Tapatalk; I find it very frustrating and I much prefer using my browser. 

 

 

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Level 1 Dwarven Ranger

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The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible. - Arthur C Clarke

 

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Following along for more Ghibli Goodness.

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52,53,54

"By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath

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Following!

 

16 hours ago, Katrin the Morag said:

 

And "on the side" I want to be more present on here again, I did well for a bit when I first installed tapatalk, but then I muted it, because I got all these messages of threads I didn't even want to follow and then I didn't get any messages, now I unmuted it, am still not getting updates and overall am a little grrrrr with the whole thing.

But I miss ya, so I am going to figure this out!!

I tried Tapatalk for all of five minutes, probably less, didn't like it one bit.

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Current Challenge: Zeroh, stick to the routine!

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Tiny inbetween update:

 

 

Yesterday I was all messed up in the head when I woke up. And also when I was cutting up apples and carrots and my mind wandered. My mind was torturing me with replay loops of what didn't go well and the, what I felt, devastating feedback my teachers had given me. And I was all emotional and was constantly fighting the "not good enough".

 

I couldn't see that I have my license, that they wouldn't have given it to me if they thought I would do poorly, and I did see any of the things that I did well. None whatsoever.

 

 

Then, in an effort to reach out when I'm in trouble, I messaged with the woman I had bunked with during the training weekends.

 

She was completely surprised about my situation. She, as a participant had liked being in my class better than in some of the others', and she felt like I was taking good care of them and rarara. That helped a lot, she is a dear.

 

And then I went and subbed for someone and taught an evening class and the elderly women were so sweet and we had a lot of fun and I could even teach them something, beyond instructing movements they know in and out. Even though they have done regular classes for decades (some of them), we took apart the form of the squat and how to do it in a knee-friendly way and how to check their own form while doing it.

 

 

This morning, between sleeping and waking I was again stuck in my own head, but I was planning tonight's class, and happy thoughts prevailed.

 

 

Just felt like sharing the good stuff with you.

 

 

K

 

 

 

PS Hello, friends, I am so happy to see you!

---

 

 

 

 

"Travel lightly, for what you bring with you becomes part of your landscape." -Anne Bishop

 

 

 

 

  • Like 8

Katrin the Morag Lvl 22 Cadet, half klingon, c-licensed trainer, mother of two, gaming nerd

 

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I'm glad there was someone you could reach out to to help you feel better. I think most of us have been there in one way or another, it's not a fun feeling.

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52,53,54

"By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath

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You did a great job of remembering the positive things, asking for help, and trying to do a great job in your next class. I posted this on another thread, but it's something that inspired me, so I'll post it here again. I was listening to a podcast, and the host was saying that when he feels depressed or scared or anxious, he tries to acknowledge and respect the feeling but also to remind himself that he won't feel that way forever (even though it seems that way at the time). That's a hard thing to convince yourself of, but it's very true, and I think sometimes it's helpful to hear someone else say it.

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Xena, Level 14+ Valkyrie Ranger

January 2017  December 2016

Oct/Nov 2016

 

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Well... it's been a few days, time to check in:

 

I did my first "Pound. Rockout. Workout." today. 15 Minutes of awesome music and a surprising amount of fun, even given that I had a (wired) headset on my head and not quite the amount of space I needed... I signed on to the "Rise of the Rebel - Tour to Summer" first for the name (Rebellion for the win) and second because I have been thinking about their pro classes, they're hella expensive (american pricing doesn't fit with my european mind, sorry) and they are frikkin far away (middle of Germany the closest), so if I commit, I have to commit A LOT (money to get there, money for the class, and time and mental capacity) to learn the most I can... and that for something I don't even know if I like... so try out I do. First glance is positive...

 

Food been better, having snacks ready and at hand helps a lot with the cravings of the bad snacks... though I was surprised by a CHOCOLATE CHIPS ALL THE THINGS rear up Friday... It kinda blindsided me... But heck, you live and learn.

 

Weather is gorgeous and just warm enough to hint of summer, without actually going there. Breeze is rarely gone, it is quite beautiful.

 

Been doing yoga everyday, and pound on top this morning, Thu was a holiday so no classes then, been to all my classes Tue's and Thu's. Taught classes Mon and Tue evening in addition. Just have to fill out the paperwork, so I get paid. Procrastination, you are my bane!

 

Today is my MIL birthday, and we will go and celebrate and hang out in their garden, and heat up the grill, and be lazy. Tomorrow is a handball game to watch live. And Monday it's back to work.

 

Links: https://poundfit.com/tour/

 

 

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Katrin the Morag Lvl 22 Cadet, half klingon, c-licensed trainer, mother of two, gaming nerd

 

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10 hours ago, Xena said:

Wow! That looks awesome!! I think it would be even more fun in a live class.

 

Right?

That's what I was thinking as well. We have something here that's called "Drums Alive(R)", it's more or less well established, but looking at videos of their's I always am underwhelmed. Not so much with pound. A It looks like a lot of fun (and doing along to video I can say: yes it is) and B Doing that in class with peeps... it is tempting. And if I am correct, and I think I am, they give the instructors choreos and music mixes at hand, a new one every month, so the support for the instructors is great, I'm just not sure about their prices... and with the pro class I would get "one month free access" to their online support thingy. Nowhere do they say what that will cost afterwards, and I am... sceptical. Getting a pilates license, you get the tools, and the reins and off you go, do your own thing. With this... I am afraid of paying a lot of money, I don't really have just lying around, for something that afterwards I won't be able to use as I want, always dependent on their ways of doing things...

 

As I said I am researching and I will probably sent them an email or something and see what's what.

 

But it does look fun, doesn't it?

 

Katrin

 

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Katrin the Morag Lvl 22 Cadet, half klingon, c-licensed trainer, mother of two, gaming nerd

 

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Road map to Level 50

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So, I am disappointed. I think this pound thing is not for me, not anytime soon anyway, maybe not ever.

 

The Ripstix are mandatory, you are to use these in class, you have to, and you are to not use them for anything else. To make the classes comparable around the globe, you can only use their choreographies, their music, their everything. There is no room to be creative, no individuality.

And on top of everything they demand 19,99$ per month for access to their Label thingy, and suggest that maintaining access to their label is equal to maintaining the license.

 

So they demand 250$ for an 8h class, one month free access, then 20$ every month thereafter and give me NO LEEWAY to be an individual, to make their programme my own, to use it in a way that works for me? I have to use their choreos, their music and only their stuff...? Oh, and the venue needs to be approved too... Yeah, nothing can be so much fun that that's worth this.

 

I get, that they need to keep the quality high, but this is ridiculous!

 

#sorrynotsorry

source: https://poundfit.com/faq_2/

 

Even were I rich (and who has that kinda money, really), and had no responsibilities for the kids or the future, I would have a hard time rationalising this to make it worth it.

 

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Disillusioned.

Research. Worth it. Sad but worth it.

  • Like 2

Katrin the Morag Lvl 22 Cadet, half klingon, c-licensed trainer, mother of two, gaming nerd

 

Current Challenge

 

Road map to Level 50

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Today I am reeling from new decisions. You know how you make up things you would like to try out... goals for yourself to achieve... level 50 outline... I usually don't censor those lists... but eventually I do my research and boom: with knowledge comes clarity. And the thought of "YEAH not gonna happen" leads to redefining the path ahead. No finalized thoughts yet, but I am in the deep part of defining who I am as a rebel and as a fitness trainer. This helped, even though I struggled to show up on the mat at all:

 

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Katrin the Morag Lvl 22 Cadet, half klingon, c-licensed trainer, mother of two, gaming nerd

 

Current Challenge

 

Road map to Level 50

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The original list (I can't find it anymore, but I copied it into my journal at the start of the year) said this challenge would go May 28th to June24th, afterwards would follow the 2 week summer break, starting the next challenge afterwards July 9th (to August 5th). I am not liking the current back and forth and rarara and so I am going to do my own thing:

 

This challenge I will run 6 weeks long, Monday May 22nd to Sunday July 2nd, then one week break (July 3rd - 9th) and back to 4 week challenge July 10th - August 6th. Followed by August 14th - September 10th. Back to a Mon-Sun rhythm and I hope this will go well.

 

Summer break in our schools here, starts July 24th (last day being the 21st). First day of school for the older kid is Monday, September 4th, and I think they introduce the new 1st grade kids, including my little one (yikes!), on the Wednesday of first week, or something. Yes, they do, yay memory.

 

So much for my planning mind going weeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHH!

 

Hugs for ya'll

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Katrin the Morag Lvl 22 Cadet, half klingon, c-licensed trainer, mother of two, gaming nerd

 

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Road map to Level 50

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I feel you with the whole, stress of new decisions and new directions and everything. I'm in the middle of a big career transition myself, which has been in play for basically this whole year. It's way stressful.

 

Sorry if this is out in left field, but I listened to an audiobook this year that you may find really useful for yourself. If you can get a copy of the audio book and maybe listen to it while you do your movement/yoga. It's, The Now Habit, about overcoming procrastination, and a lot of it is about how to understand the positive utility of things like worry and stress, and how to progress through negative thoughts and recriminations so you get to the end of that thought process and can move on, as opposed to getting stuck in a repetitive loop of thoughts that never seem to resolve in a positive way forward. I wish I could get like half the people I know to read this book. It really helps you understand your own downside, and how to incorporate that into an overall healthy and effective mindset so you can be the version of yourself that you want to be.

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Level Three Oracle of Doom.

 

Level Eight Dragon Tamer, Warrior Dash participant. Trail runner.   Respawned.

 

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I haven't gotten around to looking at the book in our library, they carry it though, at least it's in their inventory. Thank you for the recommendation,@Nianne.

 

 

I am struggling in some aspects and doing really well in other. It's a bit of a mix at the moment, but I think that's always how it goes, isn't it?

 

 

Life keeps me busy. The grandma is sponsoring new desks for both kids, with all the bells and whistles of new chairs, lamps rarara.

 

We are very grateful and very busy with it all. We all went to IKEA Tuesday and the kids chose the desk we had liked best for them and they deliver sometime Friday morning, and I look forward to cobbling together two desks and chairs Friday through the weekend.

 

The kids' room is so very cluttered, it's not funny any more, but moving the furniture around they will both have half a room to themselves... with the responsibility of the cleaning also theirs alone. I'm hoping they'll grow to love it. And maybe we can move things around in a few years again to have less strict separation between the halves...

 

 

I'll upload a pic later when I'm on Wi-Fi (I hope I remember).

 

 

Half of the kids' room!

7a2179c25620d6aef2ba55ac494a26c9.jpg

 

Anyway we spent all of Tuesday cleaning house, moving furniture, walking Ikea, and more of the first. Almost 8h straight, I'm actually kinda proud. And even though I took an allergy pill it was too much for my system, but I coped, and I hung in there and I went to training afterwards, because that's my end-of-day celebration and it was just what I needed.

 

 

I'm sore today, but I did my yoga, and I will be busy with the kid's wednesday appointments and grocery shopping and board meeting all afternoon, evening and I hope I'll be back home early to grab a snack and hit the sack, maybe, if I'm really lucky somewhere close to 10pm.

 

But I'll take 11 and be happy with it if that's all I get.

 

 

Need more snack prep. I ran out of schtuff to prep, but as I said: shopping will happen tonight.

 

 

Miss you folks, it's really quiet all around. Or is that just my perspective?

 

 

I am grateful for my two beautiful, overall-healthy, mischievous boy-children.

 

I am grateful for my older one bringing home straight As in English (first foreign language) and nature sciences.

 

I am grateful for my older kid picking up the spaced vocabulary practice with minimum effort both with flash cards of the French words he should have by now learned in school And the duolingo stuff he's doing extra (because of how they integrated pronunciation and understanding spoken sentences).

 

I am grateful both for my fitness friends locally as well as online, You Guys Rock!

 

And I am grateful for my body, and how I am moving both with my daily yoga practice with adriene as well as the training I participate in in our club. My body IS getting stronger, I AM getting more resilient, I even am learning to be kind to myself in my own mind about things I perceive to not be like I want them to be.

 

I'm on the road. I'm moving. Time is a river, life is a journey, the door is a jar.

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

 

"Travel lightly, for what you bring with you becomes part of your landscape." -Anne Bishop

 

 

 

 

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Katrin the Morag Lvl 22 Cadet, half klingon, c-licensed trainer, mother of two, gaming nerd

 

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Road map to Level 50

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I'm in the club building. It's 20mins to my class, I am pretty sure I'll get no participants again, and I worry and I fret and I am struggling to stay here, now.

 

I got offered to do a training for trainers who are or want to work with geriatric participants and on one hand I love that they ask me to do things and offer to send me to places to get further training, and I love, love, love those sweet elderly ladies I trained last month while my colleague was on vacation. But I am also very afraid about them putting me in a pigeon hole and shutting the lid on me. Does that make any sense whatsoever?

 

I fret and I fret and I fret and just because I am here, ready for my class, and I don't want no-one to show up again. I've not gotten many flyers out yet, so yeah, advertisement going slow. And I'm not sure if this is normal. Is it normal for people to try something and then not continue? Yes, it is. Especially fitness, especially if they have easy excuses like small children and no idea where they actually want to go, just this "maybe I should"... But I'm also keenly aware of how new I am to this, and how I don't fit well with people of my own age bracket and how I may set myself up for failure. And maybe my mind is just rumbling and tumbling and utterly scared and unhelpful.

 

I am grateful... for my yoga practice.

I am grateful for the path under my feet. The way I feel about myself, not those times when I see the end-goal and how far it's away, but actually the path I've already traversed. The things I learned, both here, online in general, but also with me hurting my shoulder, and healing that up, my training, my OCR (=mudrun) last October, I have learned so much and I have a lot of pointers, gentle pointers, to give to those who are searching. And fuck it I am not going to give up looking for those people!

I will stay right here, continue to learn as much as I can about the terrain and keep advertising where I am and what I do and when they do find me I will be here!

 

Fuck it! #not_giving_up

 

And those that don't fit with me? Yes, those hurt, but it's okay, I will stay here, doing what I do, learning and improving and maybe they'll come around, or maybe they won't. It's not my thing to fret about.

 

I hope I remember to get back to this, next time I fret too much...

 

I am grateful for my mentors. Those doing their thing and without even knowing me, teach me so much. Those wonderful people here on the boards, (you know who you are!) and of course those people here, locally: personal friends, trainers, colleagues, therapists (PT Tim is awesome!).... these things I soak up: I may not yet know, what to do with all of them or have the expertise to implement them all when I stand in front of a group, but that will come with experience.

 

Thank you for listening to 20mins of me rambling on. :-*

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

"Travel lightly, for what you bring with you becomes part of your landscape." -Anne Bishop

 

 

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Katrin the Morag Lvl 22 Cadet, half klingon, c-licensed trainer, mother of two, gaming nerd

 

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How did the class turn out?

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"By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath

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Sorry to hear that! I've heard you talk about this situation of course, but I'm not sure I have the whole picture.

 

By not wanting to be pigeonholed, I think you mean your class is specifically targeted toward older students, and you would like to also teach some "mainstream" classes. Is that right? Are there options for you to offer a different class in the near future?

 

I've experienced a little of your disappointment in not having students show up. I guess the most recent thing is when I fill in for the track coach. Attendence apparently drops when they know the regular coach won't be there. Sometimes only one or two people show up. And not all of them really want to work hard. Some of them just want to walk around the track at an easy pace (which is completely fine, but just not really rewarding for me).

 

So where you are working, do the classes run in regular sessions...for example 8-week periods all starting and ending at the same time? I was wondering if there would be a good time to try to put in an organized effort to really try to recruit students or advertise in a focused way. How do students find out about your class now?

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Xena, Level 14+ Valkyrie Ranger

January 2017  December 2016

Oct/Nov 2016

 

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Today's 690kcal worth of self-love-breakfast:6fd00aa2cf83ec66a15e66479e1803b4.jpg

 

 

 

 

Whole wheat sesame cripsbread with tomatoes, mozzarella and basil, skyr with apples, linseed and a dash of cinnamon. And my obligatory cup of chai with milk and sugar.

 

 

 

 

PS@Xena, I saw your post, I'll answer when I have time to do it properly and with the amount of thought it deserves, thank you.

---

 

 

"Travel lightly, for what you bring with you becomes part of your landscape." -Anne Bishop

 

 

 

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Katrin the Morag Lvl 22 Cadet, half klingon, c-licensed trainer, mother of two, gaming nerd

 

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Road map to Level 50

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4-5h of screwing together Ikea furniture later: the kids both have their own corner to work in.

Sure, the rest looks like a clutter bomb tore it apart, but who's counting, right? bca8a868879db527f02bbe6e2e453ad9.jpg

 

---

 

 

 

"Travel lightly, for what you bring with you becomes part of your landscape." -Anne Bishop

 

 

  • Like 3

Katrin the Morag Lvl 22 Cadet, half klingon, c-licensed trainer, mother of two, gaming nerd

 

Current Challenge

 

Road map to Level 50

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