Respawning (or maybe just spawning for the first time)

[Talanoth]

It was about 2-and-a-half years ago that my friend (and fellow rebel) started bugging me about joining NF. I've been overweight pretty much my entire life, and I was getting a little disappointed that my martial arts practice (the most regular activity I'd had since I was a kid) just wasn't showing the results I was looking for. After some friendly harping, I eventually gave in and joined the rebellion in January of 2016.

 

After joining, I went through some of the academy exercises, but if I'm honest, I really didn't make any significant changes. I just couldn't find the time to read and research, and I was probably a little (or a lot) afraid of what those changes would mean. I was a Rebel in name only - I paid my dues, but never fought the good fight.

 

This continued until late last month, about 15 months after I originally joined NF.

 

I was on the way to my test for my next rank, which is the precursor to brown belt in my style. Riding up to the test with me were the head of my school, a Sensei who'd gotten me to my current rank, and a brown belt coming to watch and support those of us testing - all of whom are fairly close friends of mine. We stopped at Waffle House for breakfast (I'd already eaten a few hours earlier, they hadn't), and during breakfast, the one Sensei asks the head of our dojo if he thinks I can test for brown belt before the end of the year.

 

My jaw probably would have hit the table if it could have. My goal for brown belt was the end of 2018, not 2017, and to hear someone who knows me ask if I could do it in that time...let's just say I was shocked. This feeling didn't change when the head of our school said that brown belt was unlikely but possible.

 

For the first time in my (adult) martial arts career, my Senseis were setting goals for me that were significantly more aggressive than what I'd planned or expected.

 

The test went well (if I'm honest, it was easy, but that's probably because, even at 39 years old, I was the youngest person in the test). But ever since then, I've started feeling the weight of expectation.

 

The next day, I was helping a dojo-mate move apartments. A few weeks prior I had asked one of my Sensei's who's less than a year younger than me, with a similar build, about how he dropped a bunch of weight before his black belt test. While in the car between locations, this same Sensei gave me the download of a bunch of tips to work on my fitness. Cardio, how to improve my diet, etc.

 

It was becoming increasingly clear that they wanted me to advance, and were trying to help me do it.

 

And so, I decided to accept the challenge.

 

I cut soft drinks (both diet and regular) out of my diet. Started drinking a ton more water. Started cooking more rather than eating out. Snacks (if I had them) became fruit and nuts rather than crap. I cut back on alcohol (liquid calories being one of my big issues). I also joined a gym and took a yoga class (on top of my regular martial arts workouts). I had to keep the additional activity to a reasonable level as I was an important part of a friend's black belt test over Memorial Day weekend and needed to be sure I didn't injure myself (a common result of the few occasions where I really tried to increase how much I was training). For probably the first time in my life, it was like something clicked and the healthy choices were the ones that were becoming the default. I even gave this whole process a name: Talanoth 2.0 (except my real first name instead of Talanoth).

 

And these changes were only further cemented this past weekend when I helped my friend get his black belt. Part of the black belt test is choreographing a roughly 3-minute fight scene that has to incorporate 14 different techniques. So here I was in front of 3-400 people getting beat up by my friend for 3 minutes. It was exhilarating, but it didn't do anything to alleviate the scrutiny I'd been feeling since my last test, it just amplified it.

 

Another important part of this past weekend was the announcement that they are making the first significant revisions to the curriculum of my style in 20+ years, partially with the goal to drop the average time for black belt from 8 years to 5-6 years. Now Senseis were joking about me testing for black belt in a year, when my expectation just a month earlier was brown belt in 19 months. Additionally, I've come to find out from a friend that others have noticed my efforts and asked her about it.

 

And it all comes back to my big why. When I first joined NF, I wrote that my big why was that I wanted to get better in the martial arts. I knew my weight and (lack of) fitness were going to be significant obstacles and that I'd need to overcome them if I was to be at all satisfied with my performance/progress. At the time, though, I wondered if I was being honest with myself. Was that just a cover for me just wanting to be more fit (and attractive) without saying it explicitly (and accepting the vanity that goes along with that)? While I'll concede that it's certainly -a- motivation, I was happy to see that it truly was my martial arts practice that motivated me to change.

 

So, here I am, about a month into my (re)spawn. My diet (apart from a brief break this past weekend for our training camp) continues to improve, and my training schedule is about to get a lot busier. For the first time in my practice, what once felt like a dream (getting my black belt) now feels attainable with the love and support of my dojo (as well as the friend who got me here in the first place). It's an amazing feeling that only helps give me the strength to continue down this path.

[cn3wton]

Its awesome that you have such a supportive group and it sounds like a real drive to get things done. Thats very important!

 

Keep pushing towards your goals. They will happen!

[Ryu0h]

Now that is what I call resolve. Well done, Talanoth! 

Your senseis and friends are absolute treasures. It's great to support a friend, but helping to draw out the latent potential in a friend is a completely different box of frogs!

I'm looking forward to reading a future post in the Woot room about you achieving black belt. Best of luck!

[Talanoth]

On 6/6/2017 at 6:22 AM, Ryu0h said:

Now that is what I call resolve. Well done, Talanoth! 

Your senseis and friends are absolute treasures. It's great to support a friend, but helping to draw out the latent potential in a friend is a completely different box of frogs!

I'm looking forward to reading a future post in the Woot room about you achieving black belt. Best of luck!

 

Thanks for the kind words. Black belt is, at a minimum, a couple years off, but I'm enjoying the ride so I have no plans to rush beyond what others will likely push me to do.

 

I also had a really touching moment with one of my Senseis today. We were at the gym for cardio (we've been going together to help keep us motivated) and he told me my recent fitness kick had inspired both him and another member of the dojo (probably my closest friend there) to up their game. He said it helped to feed off my energy/momentum.

 

It's a pretty amazing feeling when people who have taught you (and who you really respect) tell you that you're inspiring them.