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Owlet clicks back into gear


Owlet

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So... I'm not sure I'm sick? Maybe just really really tired? Sore throat went away, and my eyeballs are slowly going back to normal (still pretty bloodshot though) I took yesterday off and managed to tick off a few goals - chanting, study for presentation and phyiso exercises - but it was a struggle due to the overwhelming tiredness. Went light on the exercises because my head was feeling very fragile. Still have mild DOMS today from squats because I haven't done them in so long lol. Oops. 

 

Starting to wonder if it's the after effects of the acupuncture (combined with going out both nights of the weekend, not sleeping much and then going horse riding) Either way, I think I am gradually getting better, just need to be kind to myself for a few days. Presentation is tonight so it'll be good to have that out of the way at least. Pretty much putting the upskilling goals on hold for now until I feel less burned out. Might knock back my hours a bit too - been doing close to 50 and it's just not agreeing with me. 

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7 hours ago, Owlet said:

I'm not sure I'm sick? Maybe just really really tired?

For me, the cure is the same for both - lots of restorative sleep! :D

 

Hope you're feeling better soon!

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Level 16 Warrior Druidess

Walk FROM Mordor   Challenges: Current (#17)   Previous (#1-16)

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Lol so the day after I thought I was getting better I got worse and definitely have a cold now. Doesn't seem to be too bad though thankfully. Didn't stop me going out on friday night anyway ;) Managed the presentation fine and it instigated a good discussion so that's pleasing. I've started gathering material for the one on saturday and will meet with my friend tomorrow evening to discuss our points. Still doing terribly with physio exercises :/ I have a real block when it comes to doing them, I think because it's hard to find a block of time big enough to do them and I never seem to want to do it in bits. Chanting has also been haphazard - I keep sleeping in in the morning oops. Lunchtime walks were hampered by a massive storm last week so hopefully the weather is better this week. Thought about doing some software stuff on the weekend but decided to paint instead because I haven't done that in ages. I think that about sums it up for now... The battle to do all the things with insufficient time continues XD I kind of made it worse by meeting someone I like so now I just want to hang out all the time as well as do all the things haha. Oops.

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1 hour ago, Owlet said:

I kind of made it worse by meeting someone I like so now I just want to hang out all the time as well as do all the things haha. Oops.

 

Ooh la la~

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4 hours ago, Owlet said:

I mean, it's verrrrry early days so I don't want to get ahead of myself. But it's been really nice so far :)

Great! Enjoy your time!

And take care of that cold.

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Adventures don't start until you get into the forest.

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I'm positively stuffed with delight at the thought of you enjoying time with an exciting new person. I wish you happiness and adventure!

 

You seem to be in a building phase again: building skills, relationships, confidence, plans for the future. I think for a while you were in a more defensive or energy conserving phase and it's nice to see you with the resources to start branching out again. Yay for no more birth control cloud :D

 

The back pain sounds challenging but I'm glad you have various tools to deal with it. I think it'd be awesome to know someone who does acupuncture because I've never tried it, and am simultaneously curious and skeptical, but I think knowing a practitioner would be a good gateway into giving it a try in a safe-feeling way.

 

Regarding the stuff about intellect as a refuge from difficult emotional problems and getting in the way of taking healing leaps of faith...yeah, I have to say I see myself in that. At the same time I do think intellectual and logical approaches are incredibly valuable. As in so many other things I think the key is a healthy balance of both elements but I feel massively unqualified and just plain unable to determine the appropriate mix and how to get there.

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On 18/07/2017 at 7:14 PM, zenLara said:

Great! Enjoy your time!

And take care of that cold.

Thanks :) the cold is very mild thankfully, I'd probably be over it by now if I didn't keep staying up late but that's ok.

 

On 19/07/2017 at 0:07 AM, Bookish Badger said:

Nice is a good start!

Much better than not nice!

 

On 19/07/2017 at 8:31 AM, Severine said:

I'm positively stuffed with delight at the thought of you enjoying time with an exciting new person. I wish you happiness and adventure!

 

You seem to be in a building phase again: building skills, relationships, confidence, plans for the future. I think for a while you were in a more defensive or energy conserving phase and it's nice to see you with the resources to start branching out again. Yay for no more birth control cloud :D

 

The back pain sounds challenging but I'm glad you have various tools to deal with it. I think it'd be awesome to know someone who does acupuncture because I've never tried it, and am simultaneously curious and skeptical, but I think knowing a practitioner would be a good gateway into giving it a try in a safe-feeling way.

Naww thanks :) 

 

You know I think you're right, I am in a building phase again - and it's such a relief! I get so antsy when I'm not doing the things I want to be and progressing. Just surviving day to day is never enough for me (but sometimes it just has to be done) I have this fear that I'm wasting my life when I'm not actively creating - which is hard to deal with when I literally only have energy to lie on the couch! Thank goodness I finally worked out that hormonal birth control is not a good idea for me.

 

Honestly I cannot recommend acupuncture enough now - I went in super sceptical but there's no denying the positive affect it had on me. After countless physiotherapy appointments, exercises, stretches, ultrasound, strapping tape, postural changes and weekly massages... acupuncture made my back feel better than it had in a full year. I've been meaning to go back to get a couple more trigger points seen too, I just haven't had time. But I will. Agree though - it was nice doing it through a friend, as it was quite an intense experience. 

 

On 19/07/2017 at 8:31 AM, Severine said:

 

Regarding the stuff about intellect as a refuge from difficult emotional problems and getting in the way of taking healing leaps of faith...yeah, I have to say I see myself in that. At the same time I do think intellectual and logical approaches are incredibly valuable. As in so many other things I think the key is a healthy balance of both elements but I feel massively unqualified and just plain unable to determine the appropriate mix and how to get there.

Yup balance is key! I've been reading lots in preparation for the exam and presentations and found lots of material about the relationship between faith (faith in the sense of believing in ones own potential and inherent dignity, and the power to overcome anything using Buddhism) and study. eg. As you study more and deepen your understanding of the concepts of Buddhism, it helps you clearly perceive your circumstances without delusion (brain weasels lol) and apply Buddhist teachings to your life to overcome suffering. As you deepen your understanding of Buddhism, you strengthen your conviction in the practice, and that in turn leads you to quest deeper for even more understanding. So study strengthens faith which leads to further study which leads to deeper faith etc etc. 

 

Of course this is much easier to say when I'm not in the midst of suffering, but I do think as you accumulate instances of proving to yourself you can overcome situations, you get better at believing in yourself in the moment, which helps keep the emotions from getting so out of control. Balance eh... oh you'll like this: another frequently quoted catchphrase in this Buddhism is, "Buddhism is reason" which stops anyone from doing anything plain stupid in the name of faith haha. 

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Haaaaha, so that exam I'm meant to be sitting... turns out I never registered XD Which is actually a godsend because I also fucked up my flights that weekend. Yes, again. Originally booked flights to see Dad, forgetting about the exam and the fact my friend is visiting the country for that weekend only. Changed flights to see Dad a different weekend and booked flights to see friend after the exam. Or at least I thought I did. Turns out I booked a flight a day early, right in the middle of the exam. So, although the organisers said they can squeeze me in anyway, I think I'll just skip the exam this time around. I hate bailing on things like this but the exam happens every year whereas I get to see my friend about once every 3 years... I guess I really shouldn't be trusted with schedules and flights when I'm in the middle of a depressive episode haha. Lesson learnt. 

 

I'll still read the study material, but to be honest it's a huge weight off not having the exam hanging over me (not that I think it'd be particularly difficult, it was just another thing on my list of too many things to do) Stayed up late last night working on my presentation for saturday and am meeting my friend tonight to go over our points. I'll need to pretty much finish my prep tonight as I'm going out friday night... it's a good thing I've done a few of these now and they don't scare me.

 

Finally managed a chant last night after work. Meant to do another this morning but I was really tired so slept in.. again. I did manage to go for a run yesterday though, pretty chuffed with that! Legs are punishing me today though lol. 

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1 hour ago, Owlet said:

(not that I think it'd be particularly difficult, it was just another thing on my list of too many things to do)

Sometimes we just need fewer things on the to do list. I'm glad this is something you can release right now to focus on other things. It sounded like the exam was also more about checking your own knowledge right? So reading the material, thinking about it and trying to implement it in your life does the same thing, or did I understand it wrong?

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Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

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1 hour ago, Dagger said:

Sometimes we just need fewer things on the to do list. I'm glad this is something you can release right now to focus on other things. It sounded like the exam was also more about checking your own knowledge right? So reading the material, thinking about it and trying to implement it in your life does the same thing, or did I understand it wrong?

Yeah totally! That's why I don't feel bad about not sitting it. The whole point is to deepen your understanding of the concepts, and I don't need to actually sit it to achieve that. Definitely a relief to have one less thing on my plate!

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13 hours ago, Owlet said:

As you study more and deepen your understanding of the concepts of Buddhism, it helps you clearly perceive your circumstances without delusion (brain weasels lol) and apply Buddhist teachings to your life to overcome suffering. As you deepen your understanding of Buddhism, you strengthen your conviction in the practice, and that in turn leads you to quest deeper for even more understanding. So study strengthens faith which leads to further study which leads to deeper faith etc etc. 

I like this! :D I have a learner/researcher personality, though, so love to study!

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Level 16 Warrior Druidess

Walk FROM Mordor   Challenges: Current (#17)   Previous (#1-16)

Keto:  https://www.dietdoctor.com/low-carb/keto      Fasting:  https://idmprogram.com/tag/fasting/

 

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Yikes it's ages since I posted! Um, let's see... challenge stuff.. I'll see if I can remember what I've done

 

Study:

I am sitting an exam in mid August on core concepts of Buddhism. I have not started studying yet.... oops.

  • Read study booklet at least 3 evenings per week, ideally more. Finish first read-through by 11th July before going on to more detailed revision. not sitting the exam anymore
  • Work on presentation I am giving 13th July. Done!
  • Work on presentation for 22nd July  Done!

 

Exercise:

  • Physio/strength exercises! 2x per week. Split up exercises if I don't have time to do them all at once. Done-ish, more like once a week though
  • Go for lunchtime walks when I don't have any appointments/obligations. Done-ish, more like once a week though

 

Chant:

  • Every day, for as little or as long as I feel I can/need to. Done-ish, definitely need to pick up some slack here

 

Upskilling:

  • Organise home licence of software I need,
  • Spend 2 sessions per week working on material to show,
  • Aim to have finished work to show by end of July. Hahaha nope.

So ah, goals are not going great lol. But I'm happy and that's the main thing :) I went snowboarding for the first time and had an amazing time! Still a bit sore but totally worth it. Going again this weekend too :D Managed a 1 hour chant this morning because I woke up at 6 for some reason. First decent chant in ages and it felt good. Then I ran through my physio exercises, double win! Work has been pretty busy but interesting, so that's good. Not too worried about the lack of walking - going to gigs and snowboarding has provided more than enough exercise lol. 

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13 hours ago, Bookish Badger said:

Happy and snowboarding; sounds like the challenge is going just fine!

 

12 hours ago, Severine said:

Seconded :D

 

Good point! I agree :) Also I just remembered I went for a run last week, and another today so that's 3 runs so far (and 3 more than I've done in... a year?!) Managed 3.5kms today without stopping to walk :D I don't understand how I'm doing this but I'm pretty damn stoked about it, just quietly. Maybe Dad was right when he said stamina improves with age? It used to be my most hated form of exercise lol. 

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8 hours ago, Owlet said:

Maybe Dad was right when he said stamina improves with age? It used to be my most hated form of exercise lol. 

I don't know about that, I still hate running with a passion, despite my age! :D Good for you, though!

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Level 16 Warrior Druidess

Walk FROM Mordor   Challenges: Current (#17)   Previous (#1-16)

Keto:  https://www.dietdoctor.com/low-carb/keto      Fasting:  https://idmprogram.com/tag/fasting/

 

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On 8/1/2017 at 5:03 PM, Severine said:
On 8/1/2017 at 7:41 AM, Owlet said:

I'm happy and that's the main thing

 

Seconded :D

Thirded. :)

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Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

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I have the most horrific bruise on my butt haha. Snowboarding-related, never fear. We thought we were on a medium trail but took a wrong turn and ended up on an advanced one and then hit ice, so I did a bunch of sliding down the mountain on my butt and falling over lol. Still loved every minute of it :D 

 

I've got no idea where I'm at with this challenge, is it still going even? Chanting has taken a bit of a back seat unfortunately, but I'm trying to fit it in where possible. Up-skilling for work still hasn't happened and word on the street is there is very little work for my department next year... so I might have a whole lot of time to up-skill then lol. Could be worse. Work in general has been quite good though, been learning (or trying to) lots of new stuff. The method of teaching leaves a lot to be desired but it's better than nothing.  

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The butt bruise made me laugh a bit. It sounds like one of those things that's simultaneously awful but hilarious. And snowboarding sounds awesome :D

 

This challenge is over now and it's Week 0 for the next round.

 

How are things with the new guy? He was the one you were snowboarding with, right? I can't remember.

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