Honeybadger: Boot(camp) and Rally Part II

[honeybadger]

My focus for last challenge was to not just hold my shit together but also rally. All things considered I feel like I accomplished this and everyone around me insists that I have. Dealing with my breakup while living with my ex and looking for an apartment has been one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Apartment hunting has been discouraging at best. I have decided to take an apartment just a few miles down the street from where I currently live. I'm not super excited about it but I can afford it and it allows dogs. It will also change very little about my day to day life other than where I'm living. That might be a very good thing for me right now. 

 

I finished my groupon for Crossfit bootcamp lite and fell in love. I will keep going at least throughout the summer and hopefully I'll find a way to pay for it after that. The people are so nice and supportive I hope this will grow into a social support system where I will make some new friends. 

 

My goals for this challenge will remain basically the same with a few small changes. 

 

Exercise

I love my bootcamp but I need to start running more. Last time I did Crossfit I almost stopped running entirely. I don't want this to happen. 

 

Goal 1: Go to bootcamp at least 2-3x/week 

Goal 2: Run at least 2x/week (ideally one would be a long run and one would be a RWR, I'll be happy if I run 2x outside of BC)

 

Life

I am still working on holding it together. I know moving will push me into a different phase of processing feelings. I will still need to keep busy and stay connected to people. 

 

Goal 1: Pack and Move

Goal 2: Don't isolate- Same as last challenge, I need to be active on the forums and make it a point to stay busy. Reach out to people, make plans, take people up on offers to help. 

Goal 3: Be friendly at the gym. Introduce myself to new people have conversations with people I have already met! Initiate conversation!

Goal 3: No stabbing- figured this was worth keeping. I am going to broaden the goal to include avoiding the low road. It does not help the situation and ultimately makes me feel worse. I will confess my indiscretions. This stays until I actually move out!

 

Diet

Goal 1: Log all meals in MFP (guestimate if need when eating out)

[Maigs]

Following!

 

1 hour ago, honeybadger said:

Goal 3: No stabbing- figured this was worth keeping.

Some days I think I need to add this to my goals. It is one that's worth keeping, especially until you can move. Do you know yet when you'll be able to move?

[honeybadger]

33 minutes ago, Maigahane said:

Following!

 

Some days I think I need to add this to my goals. It is one that's worth keeping, especially until you can move. Do you know yet when you'll be able to move?

I will know better this afternoon. I think it is available after the 10th but the soonest I would probably start moving would be the 18th. 

[RhiaWolfe]

Yay! HB I'm following now! 

 

Awesome goals to be sure. You don't necessarily need new goals every challenge. If you're just trying to maintain until it gets easier, then maintain until it gets easier. I'm doing the same challenge again as I did last time. 

 

I'm sorry that you didn't find a place to move into that you're super excited about, but I think it will be good for you to get away from your ex and focus more on yourself without that stress in your life. I'm glad boot camp is working out for you! 

[Xena]

5 hours ago, honeybadger said:

No stabbing- figured this was worth keeping. I am going to broaden the goal to include avoiding the low road.

 

You did a great job of this. My own weird little personal version of "avoiding the low road" was not posting any shirtless True Blood pictures on my thread last challenge. Not that there's anything wrong with that....

 

I'm SOOO happy you found an apartment. DId you have to sign on for a full year, or could you move sooner if something better comes up? This is really great news.

 

[RhiaWolfe]

13 hours ago, Xena said:

 

My own weird little personal version of "avoiding the low road" was not posting any shirtless True Blood pictures on my thread last challenge. 

 

 

This is sad. I am totally taking the low road and posting shirtless pictures of Sam and Dean from Supernatural in my challenge this month!  

[honeybadger]

So this week has been eventful and it's only Thursday. I started my PT 6 week job. I will be working only 3 days a week but had to go into work an extra day for orientation...then I got stuck an hour late today. It's an adjustment. The people are super nice and I think I'm going to really like it.   

 

I also turned in a deposit for an apartment. I just need to submit pay stubs and wait for approval. It is for a full year lease. Not my ideal apartment by any means but it is a place to move with my pooch. I will work on being happy about it. Not quite there yet. 

 

I am proud that I made it to bootcamp last night because I was pretty emotional after dropping of the deposit. But I went and I ran because it was all running!!! I'm counting this towards both exercise goals. 

 

I also chatted with a guy in class who I met once before. I initiated the conversation too! 

On 6/28/2017 at 4:30 PM, RhiaWolfe said:

Yay! HB I'm following now! 

 

Awesome goals to be sure. You don't necessarily need new goals every challenge. If you're just trying to maintain until it gets easier, then maintain until it gets easier. I'm doing the same challenge again as I did last time. 

 

I'm sorry that you didn't find a place to move into that you're super excited about, but I think it will be good for you to get away from your ex and focus more on yourself without that stress in your life. I'm glad boot camp is working out for you! 

These are all steps in the right direction. The goals will help keep me focused. 

 

22 hours ago, Xena said:

 

You did a great job of this. My own weird little personal version of "avoiding the low road" was not posting any shirtless True Blood pictures on my thread last challenge. Not that there's anything wrong with that....

 

I'm SOOO happy you found an apartment. DId you have to sign on for a full year, or could you move sooner if something better comes up? This is really great news.

 

Thanks!! It is a year lease. Month to month are hard to come by. Once the year is up it will switch to that and I can take my time looking. 

 

Shirtless pocs of the True Blood guys are always welcome. You could still post some. 

 

8 hours ago, RhiaWolfe said:

 

This is sad. I am totally taking the low road and posting shirtless pictures of Sam and Dean from Supernatural in my challenge this month!  

Shirtless pics of Sam and Dean also accepted. Take that low road! 

[RhiaWolfe]

15 hours ago, honeybadger said:

 

Shirtless pics of Sam and Dean also accepted. Take that low road! 

 

Oh, I can do that... hehe... 

 

 

 

 

[RuthixCube]

HB! Wow, darlin, I'm so sorry to hear about the current situation, but I know exactly what you're feeling. That was me in December and January. I ended up moving in with a friend and had to move out all my stuff later. It's incredibly difficult, but you're doing the right things - you got this. Separating yourself and keeping up with your regular activities will help. While the place may not be ideal, it's a starting point. We're here for ya!

[Fonzico]

Time to rally! I'm sorry the apartment situation isn't ideal, but you are moving out and this is a very good thing! It will be your own space and your puppers will be with you and it is a huge first step in rallying for reals.

A year will go by quicker than you know it, this is just a transition for you, in terms of both place and time. You got this, beautiful person, you.

 

Awesome that bootcamp has worked out for you- I'm excited that you're continuing with it! So much awesome.

[Xena]

1 hour ago, Fonzico said:

this is just a transition for you, in terms of both place and time

 

Agree. Well said!

[honeybadger]

I managed to make it to the gym on Friday and chatted more with my new gym friend. I got a nice long DM run in on Saturday (4.25 miles) before heading to my friend's house for a few days. The wheels came off the bus in terms of diet during my visit and I was not super active. I was visiting my due any day pregnant friend....we both ate for two! I got back yesterday and planned to go for a run then got myself all worked up and anxious about packing and moving. Needless to say I didn't make it on a run. 

 

I'm back at work today and will be working for the rest of the week. I should hear a definite answer about the apartment by tomorrow. I got an ambiguous email from the corporate office that the application is pending additional rental and employment verification which is fairly standard I think but...I have bad credit and massive student loans. I'm trying not to let my anxious brain go to the worst case scenario. 

 

I will go to bootcamp tonight and get some packing/organizing/cleaning done. My new gym friend will not be there to chat with because he is away so I will have to branch out to meet my goal. 

 

On 6/30/2017 at 10:00 AM, RhiaWolfe said:

 

Oh, I can do that... hehe... 

 

 

 

 

Thank you for this ^^^^

 

On 6/30/2017 at 1:26 PM, RuthixCube said:

HB! Wow, darlin, I'm so sorry to hear about the current situation, but I know exactly what you're feeling. That was me in December and January. I ended up moving in with a friend and had to move out all my stuff later. It's incredibly difficult, but you're doing the right things - you got this. Separating yourself and keeping up with your regular activities will help. While the place may not be ideal, it's a starting point. We're here for ya!

Thanks so much. It helps to know I'm not alone and everyone has been super supportive and understanding.  I'm sorry that you also had to go through this. Your support means a lot and I am super happy you are back!!!!!

 

On 7/2/2017 at 9:02 PM, Fonzico said:

Time to rally! I'm sorry the apartment situation isn't ideal, but you are moving out and this is a very good thing! It will be your own space and your puppers will be with you and it is a huge first step in rallying for reals.

A year will go by quicker than you know it, this is just a transition for you, in terms of both place and time. You got this, beautiful person, you.

 

Awesome that bootcamp has worked out for you- I'm excited that you're continuing with it! So much awesome.

I am getting waves of excitement combined with the anxiety and sadness. That's progress. I am really looking forward to having my own space (literally and emotionally). Bootcamp is turning out to be the best decision and a very healthy distraction. It also has the bonus side effect of looking better as well as feeling better.

 

On 7/2/2017 at 10:33 PM, Xena said:

 

Agree. Well said!

Indeed!

 

Off to do some lunchtime adulting!

[honeybadger]

I just got the official approval phone call about my apartment! Lots of feels...

[Xena]

5 hours ago, honeybadger said:

I just got the official approval phone call about my apartment! Lots of feels...

 

I can imagine the mix of feelings. But overall it's a healthy move and will get you to a better place.

 

Do the best you can with the food...you are dealing with lots of things at once, and it's even harder to stick to any kind of diet when you are away from home (even a stressful unsettled home).

[honeybadger]

I made it to bootcamp. Chatted with my gym friend and a few other "regulars". A new person introduced themselves before I had the chance. The WOD included burpees. I can see definite improvement in my form and endurance when doing them! I was going to go to Home Depot for boxes and heavy duty garbage bags after the workout but decided to go home instead because, lets face it, I will not be doing any packing tonight. I managed to sort through some stuff before the gym though. 

 

I have noticed that my appetite is getting back to normal for the first time since the breakup. This means that I will have to watch my calories more closely. That's what my MFP goal is for. 

 

1 hour ago, Xena said:

 

I can imagine the mix of feelings. But overall it's a healthy move and will get you to a better place.

 

Do the best you can with the food...you are dealing with lots of things at once, and it's even harder to stick to any kind of diet when you are away from home (even a stressful unsettled home).

I know that I have a lot to process that can't happen until I am out of my current situation. It is all moving toward getting me to that better place I know is waiting. 

 

I have been practicing patience with my food. I am trying to not be hard on myself but also not excuse poor diet choices. I also know that I eat much better when I live alone. 

 

I thought of you today Xena as I ate spicy tuna roll and tomago maki for lunch. I have been craving it since you earned your sushi reward. 

[Xena]

mmm sushi!

[RhiaWolfe]

I'm so happy for you and so PROUD of you RAGEr for taking these steps to bettering your life. It will be worth it in the end, you'll see. Just stay strong and take care of what needs to be done. You're doing awesome!

[Fonzico]

Week One starts tomorrow! ARE. YOU. READY?!

[Evicious]

Spoiler

 

[suzyQlou]

Hello!  I took off zero week, but see that you did not!  So much good stuff in this challenge already...and it's week one!  Glad to hear about the apartment even if it is just a temporary year-long arrangement.  And the gym continues to sound wonderful.  Especially the people there.  They are lucky to have you there...just as much as the other way around.

[honeybadger]

Week 1!!!!

Week one so far cliff notes version:

EXERCISE

Boot camp x2, running 0 

LIFE

Packing and more packing, visited with friends, talked to people at the gym and no stabbing

DIET

Logging in MFP mostly, eating within calories

 

Week one so far TLDR version

Spoiler

Exercise

I planned on getting my long DM run in on Sunday. Movie rented everything ready to go...but there was no power in the gym and it was too dark for a RWR. I went home and did 4 rounds of 25 squats with 5lb DB and 25 sit-ups. Then ate dinner. 

 

I have already been to boot camp twice. One WOD included running but not really enough to count it toward my running goal. Might try to get a RWR in on Thursday between work and therapy unless it is raining which it might be. Moving this weekend might have to count toward my exercise goals!

 

Life

I pick up my keys on Friday night after work. UHaul rented for Saturday morning. I have been packing and packing to get ready for the move. My ex has done exactly zero to help the process other than telling me I can take whatever I want. He has not moved any of his stuff off of or out of my furniture. When I brought up going through the Christmas ornaments he said that it is the last thing on his mind and that he would worry about them in December or I could just put his aside because most of it is mine anyway. I am trying to suck it up and be nice until after Saturday. I have basically told him that he had to help me move, which he agreed to. No stabbing. 

 

On a more positive moving note, I bought a bed and a nice mattress that will get delivered on Saturday. No air mattress for me. 

 

I think I have been doing a decent job of not isolating and being friendly with people at the gym. Going at night I have met some different people, all really nice. A few strange but so am I. 

 

Diet

This is going to be a challenge I can already tell. My appetite is back to normal and I have been eating more. I need to be careful and make sure that I am eating healthier foods. I could get away with cheating when I was not eating as much. Those days are over. I also wonder if my workout change has stimulated my appetite in addition to not feeling as nauseated by my ex cheating on me after 8 years. Whatever the case may be...I need to focus more on eating heathy and logging in MFP. 

 

Today I plan to rest. I will also be talking to the bonus kids about my moving out (their dad told them on Thursday) and what that means for my relationship with them. I have also bought them each a stuffed dog that looks like my furry beastie as a transitional object.  Not looking forward to the conversation. They have been staying with us for the past few days and things have felt normal but it will be hard to say goodbye. 

 

 

On 7/11/2017 at 10:30 AM, suzyQlou said:

Hello!  I took off zero week, but see that you did not!  So much good stuff in this challenge already...and it's week one!  Glad to hear about the apartment even if it is just a temporary year-long arrangement.  And the gym continues to sound wonderful.  Especially the people there.  They are lucky to have you there...just as much as the other way around.

You are so kind!!! Do you have a new challenge up yet? I plan on trying to get caught up with everyone today if I can. 

[RuthixCube]

On 7/5/2017 at 1:06 PM, honeybadger said:

Thanks so much. It helps to know I'm not alone and everyone has been super supportive and understanding.  I'm sorry that you also had to go through this. Your support means a lot and I am super happy you are back!!!!!

Of course! You know, as shit of a situation as it was, it's given me perspective. He showed me how terrible a relationship can be, how two faced a person can be, and how blinded by affection one can get. Most importantly, it showed me what kind of relationship I DON'T want, and that I deserve more than I've allowed myself. The beginning always sucks, but you're making excellent strides for yourself. Keep it up! Don't be afraid to forgive yourself for not getting everything done that you want to. Accomplish as much as you can in a day without wearing yourself down. You're stronger than you think you are, HB, and this will only make you stringer in the long term  

 

Grats on the apartment! I knew you'd get it. I had the same worries when I applied for mine, but we both did it. Hopefully things go smoothly as far as moving is concerned, and I hope all goes well with the little ones. It was really sweet of you to get them some stuffies that look like your beastie!

[RhiaWolfe]

3 hours ago, honeybadger said: Reveal hidden contents

Exercise

I planned on getting my long DM run in on Sunday. Movie rented everything ready to go...but there was no power in the gym and it was too dark for a RWR. I went home and did 4 rounds of 25 squats with 5lb DB and 25 sit-ups. Then ate dinner. 

 

I have already been to boot camp twice. One WOD included running but not really enough to count it toward my running goal. Might try to get a RWR in on Thursday between work and therapy unless it is raining which it might be. Moving this weekend might have to count toward my exercise goals!

 

Life

I pick up my keys on Friday night after work. UHaul rented for Saturday morning. I have been packing and packing to get ready for the move. My ex has done exactly zero to help the process other than telling me I can take whatever I want. He has not moved any of his stuff off of or out of my furniture. When I brought up going through the Christmas ornaments he said that it is the last thing on his mind and that he would worry about them in December or I could just put his aside because most of it is mine anyway. I am trying to suck it up and be nice until after Saturday. I have basically told him that he had to help me move, which he agreed to. No stabbing. 

 

On a more positive moving note, I bought a bed and a nice mattress that will get delivered on Saturday. No air mattress for me. 

 

I think I have been doing a decent job of not isolating and being friendly with people at the gym. Going at night I have met some different people, all really nice. A few strange but so am I. 

 

Diet

This is going to be a challenge I can already tell. My appetite is back to normal and I have been eating more. I need to be careful and make sure that I am eating healthier foods. I could get away with cheating when I was not eating as much. Those days are over. I also wonder if my workout change has stimulated my appetite in addition to not feeling as nauseated by my ex cheating on me after 8 years. Whatever the case may be...I need to focus more on eating heathy and logging in MFP. 

 

Today I plan to rest. I will also be talking to the bonus kids about my moving out (their dad told them on Thursday) and what that means for my relationship with them. I have also bought them each a stuffed dog that looks like my furry beastie as a transitional object.  Not looking forward to the conversation. They have been staying with us for the past few days and things have felt normal but it will be hard to say goodbye. 

 

 

That's going to be a hard conversation, but I think you're handling it the right way. Discuss what is going on, what will change, what won't change. I think that the truth is more important than saving face or avoiding a disagreeable situation. Especially when kids are involved. It's the mature thing to do and I'm glad you're handling the situation with as much grace as you are. Stay the course, you're almost there. It will all be better in the end. 

[Xena]

That sounds really hard. As Rhia said, you are handling the situation with a lot of grace. Be extra gentle with yourself the next few days and just let yourself feel what you feel. And keep kicking a** at bootcamp!

[Fonzico]

Seriously, I am so in awe of your maturity and self control in this situation. You are dealing with some tough crap, and while I know it hasn't exactly been smooth, I think you are doing marvelously with doing what needs to be done. I admire you so much.

 

I hope the move in goes smoothly this weekend! All my good vibes coming at you!