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Freedom!!!


Kage

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I've never been brave enough to do an official 4-week challenge. I hope the powers that be will forgive my being a day late to the party.

 

Quest 1: Don't over-eat. That's it. Eat slowly. Eat mindfully. Eat whatever you want. Just don't eat to the point that you're stuffed.

 

Quest 2: Drink some water before and after every meal. Water makes you feel good, remember? The trick is not to forget.

 

Quest 3: Learn to cook one new healthy meal this month. I know, I know-- you want to do more. That's great. But frankly, wanting to do something and actually doing it are very different things. You struggle with putting your money where your mouth is, Love. So if nothing else, make at least one new meal. Start there.

 

Quest 4: Your anxiety has been getting the better of you. Don't nag your husband. If you notice yourself nagging him, stop, thank him for his patience, and remind yourself that you're working on it. Literally no good is going to come of you constantly asking if this relationship is right for him. Just... stop. Okay? I love you. But stop.

 

 

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Still going strong. Stopping when content rather than stuffed, drinking tons of water, adding variety into my meals (although I haven't made a new one yet,) and having conversations, rather than interrogations, with my husband. I... I think I can actually do this!

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Another day. Another step in the right direction. Learned that I can text myself, meaning I can text myself a food journal. Breakfast was a two-egg omlet with one slice of deli ham and a small bit of shredded cheese. Lunch was a sandwich from Jimmy John's and most of a Dr. Pepper. Dinner was 3 and a half too-large pieces of too-thick pizza. I didn't eat any desserts or have any snacks. Other than the Dr. Pepper, I drank water and plain tea, no Gatorade or bottled coffee drinks.

 

Strangely, controlling one aspect of my life makes me feel as though I can control more. I feel strong. Impatient, but energized.

 

I want to do more. To go after what I thought was impossible.

 

And my marriage... I can breathe again. I'm talking rather than lecturing. I'm asking instead of interrogating.

 

I can do this. I am doing this. Don't overeat. Drink water. Learn to cook one new meal this week, and don't nag.

 

But... For the first time in a long time... I want to exercise. I have an urge to move. To create.

 

To live.

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Another day, another step toward where I want to be. Doing a lot of work today on planning for what I want my relationship with food to look like and what kinds of things I want to be eating. I also learned that I can get soups and sandwiches from the deli of my local supermarket, meaning I can save time, money, and calories by getting a cup of soup and/or a sandwich rather than going to a restaurant and getting a giant portion of an expensive, unsatisfying something. Neat!

 

I still want to exercise. *A LOT.* I'm itching to get moving, but I don't want to start too soon and overwhelm myself. Maybe I'll just do it when it feels right rather than hold myself to some kind of standard... for the first month. I know exercise will need to be part of next month's challenge, though.

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I'd say, if you're that itchy to get out there and get moving, go for it! Start small (maybe take a walk around the block?) if you're nervous about over doing it, but go ahead and listen to your body. You were built to move! 

 

It looks like your challenge is going great so far, keep it up! And let us know if you need anything. :) You got this!

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Yesterday was a mixture. I had a small, super early, healthy  breakfast, a very late lunch of ten small veggie grape leaves, and a bowl of potato bacon soup for dinner. I didn't overeat, but it still felt too carby (even if it was realistically fine.)

 

I also snacked on 4 chocolate cookies while I was at work. I stopped as soon as I saw what I was doing, and I honestly think it stopped me from having too low of blood sugar. Not the ideal medium, though.

 

I'm debating whether to get on the scale and see how much I weigh. I'm definitely someone who becomes obsessed with the number. I also could be demoralized if it's higher than I think it should be. But it would be helpful to know if I'm actually losing weight. My real concern is eating too little so the numbers drop as quickly as possible. I'm also about to transition to a cognitively demanding, moderately active job where my ability to think straight could literally mean life or death. (No pressure.)

 

I know the foundation: Listen to my body. But my body wants to be overweight, so it might lie to me. It isn't exactly reliable.

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7 hours ago, Kage said:

I'm debating whether to get on the scale and see how much I weigh. I'm definitely someone who becomes obsessed with the number. I also could be demoralized if it's higher than I think it should be. But it would be helpful to know if I'm actually losing weight. My real concern is eating too little so the numbers drop as quickly as possible.

In general I usually advocate for checking the scale less frequently rather than more. As you noted, it can be demoralizing if the number isn't what you want it to be (even though there are so many reasons why it might fluctuate!), and in your case it sounds like you could tip too far in either direction, which makes it even less likely you'd see something encouraging. 

 

I usually schedule a weigh in for once a week, and keep a record on a piece of graph paper. I'm looking for a general downward trend rather than a sudden drop, and I'm not concerned about some fluctuations along the way. It's been working for me, but of course, do whatever seems right to you. Just be willing to revise your practice if it turns out it isn't quite working after all, right? 

 

7 hours ago, Kage said:

I know the foundation: Listen to my body. But my body wants to be overweight, so it might lie to me. It isn't exactly reliable.

Yeaaaah, it's definitely true that your body isn't reliable. However, it's also true that a lot of people who have an overeating problem could easily eat less if they learn to notice and attend to their actual hungry/full signals, as opposed to just eating out of habit or distraction. Of course, if you're underweight or have a history of disordered eating, there are all kinds of other things to consider as well. It's tough, but not impossible! Keep at it!

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It's been such an informative week! I've learned how to not overeat at work, that I will always overeat at a hibachi grill, and that eating pizza without Netflix means I'll eat two pieces, but eating it with Netflix means I'll eat six. Fascinating!!!

 

I'm hydrated. I still have to learn to make a new meal; I honestly forgot about that one. My marriage is stronger than it's ever been. I'm still chomping at the bit to workout, so I think I'll start on Monday and just do what feels right, when it feels right.

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Ewwww. I overate in a big, bad way. Not intentionally. I didn't *eat* much, but I *drank* a large smoothie, part of a coffee drink, and a huge tea latte. I feel physically disgusting. Socially, it was absolutely worth it. I visited with a childhood friend for the first time in years. It was lovely. In the future, I'll stick to teas and water. the sugar was too much for me. Now I know!

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On 7/23/2017 at 2:49 AM, Kage said:

It's been such an informative week! I've learned how to not overeat at work, that I will always overeat at a hibachi grill, and that eating pizza without Netflix means I'll eat two pieces, but eating it with Netflix means I'll eat six. Fascinating!!!

Success!! That's awesome that you've learned some things about yourself. Have you thought about how to avoid being in situations where you'll overeat, or how to prevent yourself from doing it if you do end up in those situations? 

 

On 7/23/2017 at 5:31 PM, Kage said:

Ewwww. I overate in a big, bad way. Not intentionally. I didn't *eat* much, but I *drank* a large smoothie, part of a coffee drink, and a huge tea latte. I feel physically disgusting. Socially, it was absolutely worth it. I visited with a childhood friend for the first time in years. It was lovely. In the future, I'll stick to teas and water. the sugar was too much for me. Now I know!

Damn. That's a lot of liquid calories! The social aspect of eating and drinking is really hard to overcome, I've seen it crop up in a few threads. If you're going to Starbucks for your coffee drinks/tea lattes, in the United States they have a size smaller than "tall" that's not advertised on the menu, called "short." A sweet eight oz. Idk if there's anything similar in other coffee shops (since I haven't had the dubious pleasure of working for them) or in other countries, but maybe consider instituting a size rule for when you go out with friends? 

 

On 7/24/2017 at 7:06 AM, Kage said:

Observation: If I anticipate having to skip lunch for work, I eat twice as much at breakfast to compensate. Except it doesn't actually work! I'm still hungry, I'm just also 300 Calories farther from my goal!

My mom always says this about eating breakfast in general. "If I eat breakfast, I'll just be hungry again at lunch, and I'll have eaten more calories!" 

 

Unfortunately, a large part of hunger is down to timing. Especially if you eat on a fairly regular schedule, your body will release ghrelin when mealtimes are coming up whether you need to eat or not, and it's pretty tough stuff to resist. Maybe try packing a snack? I'm very fond of a ziplock bag of grapes for this purpose, since they're mostly water and I feel like I can snack on a tremendous number of them without blowing calorie goals. But there are lots of other great snack options out there if grapes aren't your thing. :) 

 

Keep up the good work! 

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Oh, man. It's been more than a month since my last post. How is that even possible? I had some family issues, moved across the country, didn't have internet for two weeks, started my student teaching for my master's degree, and have been learning a new video game. Phew!

 

My goals were not to overeat, to drink lots of water, to cook one new meal, and not to nag my husband. I was completely successful in all of them, except I didn't learn to cook one new meal-- I learned how to go grocery shopping and buy healthy convenience foods instead. This is a huge accomplishment, as my busy lifestyle and my blindness mean I can't just walk into a kitchen and cook something; I need to take time, equipment, and some sighted assistance to make it accessible. I consider this a win!

 

Guys, I'm active! I teach blind kids how to navigate unfamiliar environments (schools, neies offered here?er than the strict daterally* never ghborhoods, business districts, how to cross streets, etc,) and I'm walking 5-10 miles a day in hundred degree heat. I'm also eating lots of salad, and when I do have pizza or something, I only eat a couple pieces, not the entire pizza.

 

I have literally *never* had a pizza go 3 meals, much less an entire week. I eat a piece, put it away from 5 hours, have another piece... and I don't feel like death!

 

I'm losing weight. I'm happy. I'm healthy. My marriage is stronger than ever. I feel like a person!

 

Thank you all so, so much for supporting me in this. I'm ridiculously excited to get on my next challenge. Maybe I'll even start early.

 

Do you think I could do it from the first to the first rather than the strict dates they offer here? I'd even be happy to do it for six weeks instead of four. I just hate having to try and keep track of which seemingly random date they use.

 

God, I feel so good. Now just to start doing bodyweight exercise as well as walking so much :)

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