10 years ago

[Butternut]

Tomorrow is my birthday.  It's been a theme for myself where I reflect of where I was 10 years ago.  What my beliefs were, life situation, etc.    

I'm always shocked of all that can happen in 10 years.  If I was myself 10 years ago and met my 29 year old self, I wouldn't believe that was me.  I would be shocked to find myself with a husband, dogs, 2 KIDS, a job I always wanted (Even at that age) and a home. 

Spoiler

 

But what's funny is I am still stressed and full of anxiety as I was now.  At 19 I was a single mom, raising my son, working 2 jobs and 40 lbs overweight. But my 19 year old self would slap my 29 year old self and say "shut the hell up and look around at what you got!" 

Why does anxiety and stress always think it will get better once you get ______ done? 

 

Out of curiosity, how has the last 10 years been for you?  If you were to be yourself 10 years ago and look at yourself now, what would it be like?

[Wobbegong]

Whew. Ten years ago... 

 

I was between freshman and sophomore years in high school. I had almost no direction, except to the manga aisle of the nearest bookstore. I was really introverted and also really self-confident, definitely not a social outcast, but often a dick to my friends when I would last-minute bail on them even though I had intended to stay home all along. 

 

I still procrastinate like a pro. I'm still not really sure what I want to do with my life, but I'm closer than ever to my 15-year-old self's dream of teaching English in Japan (I've overcome my weeaboo tendencies, I'm delighted to report). I'm an ambivert now and do a lot better with keeping social obligations. I've also earned a high school diploma and a bachelor's degree, worked a couple of real-world jobs (I was working ten years ago, too, but it was a summer internship at my dad's company), travelled abroad on my own, rented my own apartment, come out to my parents and friends, and gotten a pet. 

 

I net gained 43 pounds in the past ten years, and since my highest weight have lost 17. Still working on that, but I definitely thought I was a fat 15-year-old. Whew, the things I know now! If I met my 15-year-old self... I'd tell her not to be so half-assed, and to really be firm in her convictions. I could've done a lot more in the past ten years, and really the only thing holding me back was me. Maybe I should tell my current self that. 

 

I'd also tell her she's great as she is, though. She has plenty of time and the world is out there waiting, but that doesn't mean a world of dreams and adventures in a pokemon game isn't waiting for her too. It's ok to pursue both. I'd tell her not to be so hard on herself, because she's doing great (even if she did skip a lot of class freshman year - the scheduling error that put her in remedial English was not her fault). I'd tell her not to be so nice to A all the time, to trust her gut that he's creepy and make it clear she's not his friend (or a good candidate for his limerence), even if they do run in the same circles. I'd tell her asexuality is a thing that exists and her lack of interest in anyone at all is nothing to be ashamed of. And that there's no need for her to be her sister. 

 

If she saw me now... I hope I'd inspire her to work harder, but it probably wouldn't change anything. I think there are things I've done and become that she would be proud of, and things she would not want for herself, but overall she would not be surprised. Oh well -- you live and you learn! Here's to the next ten, and happy birthday!

[Frost of the Gloaming]

Happy Birthday!!

[Plazmotic]

10 years ago I was 26. It’s quite shocking how much has changed since then. I think my 26 year old self would be both relieved and alarmed. Relieved that I am happily married and living the homeowner’s dream in the suburbs, but alarmed that I don’t have any kids and that I hate my work industry.

 

Back then I was just starting to feel like an adult, working my first job at a huge corporation that flew me across the country for work. But I wasn’t quite adulting yet. I hadn’t quite figured out cooking. Or dating. She’d be impressed at how my cooking/baking skills have improved, and how responsible I am about money. She’d be shocked at how little TV I watch, because at that time my life revolved around fandoms and internet friends.

[Hymnusal]

10 years ago. The summer after my first college term, socially awkward, every guy I'd ever liked had either found someone way hotter or turned out to be gay. I didn't know what I was going to do with my life, I didn't know how I was going to grow up.

 

I'd tell her she's beautiful and is allowed to have higher standards. I'd tell her it's okay to not know where you are going as long as you always look forward. I'd tell her the world is wondrous place and to enjoy herself out there (but not worry too much if she didn't listen, she'll figure it out). I'd tell her to go outside more, and get off Xbox Live before things get weird. I'd tell her not to be afraid of Physics and don't believe the High School teacher who said you couldn't succeed at University.

On the other hand maybe I wouldn't tell her anything at all, yeah some things sucked, but I ended up here and here is better than I could have hoped then. Keep growing, keep loving, keep playing.

 

Now I'm married after dating two bumms and struggling through the bad kind of attention from Xbox Live. Now I'm a Computer Scientist, not a Graphic designer (which was what I was taking 10 years ago). I have a Diploma of Fine Craft in Communication Design, and a Bachelor of Computer Science. No pets of my own still, since I married someone with allergies. No kids either, hubby may plead allergies to that too. Her travel plans to Albania flowered into a wanderlust that had me live in Germany for 5 months and have me continuing to seek adventures around the globe (Vancouver and Alberta, Canada next!)

 

I'm still socially awkward, but I'm weird and interesting and living. I'm pretty cool.

 

Thanks for the exercise! It's really quite a neat thing to do, looking back at how awesome you are becoming over the long haul.

[FatboySuave]

Happy birthday!

 

Summer 2007: I was 20 years old. I was just about to start my third year of college. The sky was the limit back then. I had no idea I was about to fuck up my life severely in two years. I was about to start another year as a sports reporter at the college paper. I should have been editor, lol. At that time I may have been my fittest. I think that was the year when I worked out a lot and was conscious of my eating habits and was down to 180 pounds. Over the next 9 years I would gain 60 pounds, but in the past year I lost 40, then gained back 10, lol. I was going to school for journalism (I hadn't yet entered the creative writing program), and I had big ambitions. I never thought I'd be stuck in a small town in the high desert. But despite the weird turn my life took, I'm learning to be happy with what I've got and with where I am.

[Guzzi]

Wow, 10 years ago I was... wait, how old an I now?  I'm either 33 or 34. 17 is an odd number so I must be 33.

 

Bawhahahahaha! I just did the maths and I'm going to be 35 this year!  That means I'm currently 34.  How ridiculous that I genuinely didn't know that.  

 

So, my story is a little different.  10 years ago things were looking pretty peachy, I was being given more responsibility in the family business and would be taking it over in the near future.  I was living with my fiancé, we had been given a plot of land by his parents and were drawing up plans to design our own house.  I was looking forward to being a business woman, a wife and a mother.  Raising our children surrounded by both our families in a secure environment and my fiancé and I were looking forward to still enjoying all the things we enjoyed doing together, hiking, camping, (motor) bike rallies. 

 

Fast forward 10 years and BOOM I'm a disabled and childless widow. . In 2011 I was very, very badly hurt in a motorcycle accident and then lost my husband, Peter, just 2 years later.  

Hmmm, that sucks.  (But this isn't a sob story, honest)

 

The biggest lesson I've learnt over the last 10 years is how precious life is.  It can change in a heartbeat and you have to grasp every chance to enjoy life and be happy because you never now when it will be taken away.

 

I was never more keenly aware of the joy there is in each and every day than I was in the months and years following Peter's death.  Because I was so acutely aware of how precious life is I was able to be truly happy and live in each moment, and not let small, insignificant worries affect me.  

 

The second biggest lesson I've learnt is that happiness isn't dependent on any one thing.  Your life might take a different path from the one you had planned but that doesn't mean you can't be happy where you are.  Life is full of opportunities and it really is about the journey, not the destination. 

 

I am now living hundreds of miles away from home and my families, something I never imagined possible.  I'm in constant pain and unable to work because of my injuries (motorcycle accident 2011), but I am happy.  I have a wonderful, caring boyfriend who has 3 children and my life is full of smiles and laughter.  I have learned so much and grown as a person over the last 10 years.  While I don't like being physically disabled or the fact that I will never have a family of my own, the journey that has taken me to this point has taught me so much that I wouldn't change it.  

 

The quote i live by these days is - "Accept, then act.  Whatever the present moment contains accept it as if you had chosen it.  Always work with it, not against it.  Make it your friend not your enemy."

[Casbin]

First things first, I suppose it's tomorrow already and if not you'll probably read it by then.

So, happy birthday!

 

Puh, Ten years ago,

 

That's right when I finished my first apprentenceship, finally cutting the knot about speaking in front of people.

Prepared and ready to take the switch and move from a corporation to my families in order to try helping them sort things out.

I believe that was one of two times when self-esteem was blossoming in my own mind.

I was quite aware of what I did, what I was capable of and planning to engage in a craft that was in one of my weaknesses.

Most days I would spend by heading from work to a cafe nearby before visiting our danceschool, were I basically lived and met my friends.

 

If I could talk to my former self I would probably try to take some of the pressure to reach a decent quota for a laborer.

To tell him that he doesn't need to after all, furthering and valuing once own strong points is something we often forget.

 

I'd tell him to keep his open mind and to make sure not to let others deter him as at will be a precious gift and talent for what will come.

There is no need to wanting to excel in everything but to nurture the things he loves.

 

Back then I had a plan, idea and direction were I wanted to head but it changed over and over again while enhancing rather then substituting each other that it's sometimes hard to figure out which aspects are the most precious to me.

Helping people, the theories and developments connected to movement, leading, organizing a company or even devising a vision or developing a shared sense of purpose throughout a company are some of those things, though I don't yet know were they will lead me.

 

I better post this before I chicken out of it.

 

Gesendet von meinem SM-A520F mit Tapatalk

 

 

[Morag]

 

10 years ago... 10 years ago I was 23. Just the other day I was on the phone with my mum, she was telling me about a colleague of hers who's 10 years younger than I and really good company and I was like "you have a co-worker who's 13??"

 

:facepalm: no, 10 years ago is 23...

 

 

At 23 I was a mother of a 3 year old boy who just half a year ago gotten into Kindi. I was enjoying summer break at uni, I had just finished my first semester and was adamant about getting my Diploma, I was so sure of things.

 

If I could tell her anything, give her any message, I would tell her to stop, to breathe, to be more patient and more honest with herself.

 

The next 10 years were gonna be hard in places, but it would be worth it.

 

I hadn't even been touched by depression back than, but I'm okay now, I got over it, as best one can get over something that is a part of oneself like that. Hadn't fought for a spot with a therapist for months, just to get one when the seasonal that was my problem was over.

 

I was soaking up knowledge at uni, hadn't seen yet all the bad things, hadn't shoveled dog (and wolf) shit for almost a year yet, hadn't had to work while in uni, because hubby hadn't yet been laid of, hadn't quit on my Diploma yet, quitting uni was the most self-affirming thing I did, but 10 years ago I wasn't there yet.

 

I wasn't yet at the point where I was a bad mother, a troubled student, a lousy house keeper, and a starving writer, those where still things ahead of her. I wouldn't tell her about any of it. Instead I would tell her it would be rough, and taking a rest along the side of the road was a-okay and not to give up on being honest with herself. To ask herself if it was worth it? If she wanted it bad enough... and that no, was a valid answer.

 

She was still writing diligently. She wanted to be an author so much. I am not sure what will come off this but in the next 10 years, but for the last, it was okay to put it aside.

 

 

Hubby and her didn't know yet that they had problems. They thought it was lack of money and a million things. I'd tell her to go talk to him. AND LISTEN. I'd hope she didn't fuck up as royally as I had, but yeah, futile wish, that one, but still...

 

Anyway now I am the same person, yet different. And I learned so very, very much.

 

Hubby and I are in a better place than we have ever been before, the kid has a 7 years younger baby brother. Who is graduating from Kindergarten next week(!!). And yeah, financially we're still not where we want to be, but that's not a scale that says anything about our happiness.

 

I know now how to handle my S.A.D to a point where I almost forget I have it. Hubby and I are disgustingly happy with each other, and with non-normality.

 

 

This turned into quite a wallpost, eh?

 

 

Anyway I thank you for the exercise, it is good. I usually only go over what I got done in the last year, and think about how much I wanted to accomplish and how little I did, this is a way better exercise. Thank you. And happiest of happy birthdays.

 

 

---

 

 

 

 

"Travel lightly, for what you bring with you becomes part of your landscape." -Anne Bishop

 

 

 

 

[Trixie Falsae]

10 years ago. Wow.

I was pregnant with my first hobbit. I now have five.

I was a college drop out working in an environmental laboratory in a sewage plant. It was actually an awesome job. I loved it. I have since completed both an associates and a bachelors degree in nursing. I work with disabled children in their homes. It is a very rewarding job.

I was married to my first husband, and I just now split from my second. I'm in counseling so I can really examine what it going on in this department. It's painful but very needed.

Spoiler

It involved a long history of emotional, financial, and other abuses

I was a pagan in the process of converting to Catholicism. I am still Catholic and very happy with my faith. I still keep traces of my old beliefs in that I love and respect nature and keep track of the changing of the seasons. 

 

I wish I could tell myself ten years ago to stand up for myself more and let my voice be heard. I would tell myself that I am way more resilient and resourceful than I give myself credit for.

 

 

Oh, and happy birthday!

[Frost of the Gloaming]

Honestly this had me thinking for a while, and honestly I don't know what I would say to my 26 year old self, other than here's a beer and keep on running. 

 

In the last 10 years I had two kids, promoted at work a few times, bought a better house in a better school district, ran 4 half marathons, 2 triathlons, vacations and other various fun activities, but also at the same time dealt with losing two people that I love, a cancer scare in the family, infertility issues, thunder stealing sister in law, miserable fucking co-workers. and a whole shit load of issues trying to sell the old house (pretty much had to float a double mortgage for a year)

[Guzzi]

 

On 14/07/2017 at 9:43 PM, Frost of the Gloaming said:

...(pretty much had to float a double mortgage for a year)

 

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!  Holy crap!

[Bean Sidhe]

So I have been thinking about this a few times and trying to figure out how to respond. What would I tell me 10 years ago.

10 years ago, we had just moved into this house. We were hoping for a second Agent, My kitty and Puppy and grandma were still with us. Now that I think of that, I think of the friends I lost in that time, the family that were lost as well. In some aspects, I would love to tell myself to spend more time with them. To remember that life is short.

I would tell myself that there is never a good time, but to enjoy the Agents while they are small. To focus on the things that will weigh us down later (debt). TO find the joy in gardening sooner than when I did.

But mostly, I would tell myself not to worry so much about things. To think that maybe things will be okay without obsessing over them. To try and focus on the good things that happen, and to not keep saying "I will deal with that later" and to  take care of myself, otherwise the bills for not doing so are much much higher.