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  2. Mistr


    I am there with you in feeling like I should get rewarded for behaving well. If I do all my chores, things should go better, right? Unfortunately the universe doesn't work that way. I smell a carryover from Calvinist preaching - do good and you will be rewarded (in heaven and on earth). Coercive rhetoric to get the lower classes to work harder. We see a lot of the same mindset in fitness discussions. Just do the right mix of strength, endurance and mobility work, the right volume of sets x reps, and you will have the body of your dreams. But will you be happy? It's clear that not having your basic needs met will make you unhappy. After that the question gets personal. Do you care what kind of food you eat? Are you happier living in one place or traveling? Living by yourself or with a bunch of people? Do you get grouchy when you've been off the mats too long? Do the dirty dishes bother you or can you let them stack up until you are out of clean plates? Answering those questions will make a lot more difference than doing the things you think you should do. What you describe is a thing in relationships - even if there are no "errors" at all. I'm not talking about big things like disrespecting someone or being inconsiderate too often. I believe you are already doing your best to be considerate. No, I'm talking about differences in preferences. You like to train martial arts, exercise, read SF and do gaming with friends. All of those are positive things in your life. They might not fit for someone else. You might like to sleep in a dark cave and someone else might prefer having lights because they have nightmares. No value judgement, just different preferences. You already know these things, you've made choices about what kind of life you want. If someone else doesn't want to allow time and space for them, you are not a good match, however much you might like each other. I understand that you have worked hard to behave honorably and not hurt people. I admire that. The tough part is that even when you are doing your best, you may accidentally hurt someone. Sometimes you are put between a rock and a hard place of choosing who is likely to get hurt. Being considerate of other people requires a certain amount of information about their needs and history. For example, you know not to use the N-word in referring to people, because of all its history and emotional baggage. I expect there is a similar word that should not be used to describe the native people of Australia, but I don't know that word. Since Australians speak English, I might use that word by accident, not knowing it is loaded in some contexts. I would be embarrassed and apologetic if someone pointed out to me how I had been hurtful. Hopefully I would learn and make more informed choices moving forward. This stuff is hard for everyone. You see links on FB all the time about how (not) to talk to people with cancer, or people who are grieving. Even when people really want to be helpful, they often say the wrong thing. You do your best and try to learn to do better. To make it even more challenging, behaviors that are perfectly fine with some people are not fine with others. Maybe from cultural expectations, maybe from personal history, maybe just by personal preference. You often won't know in advance and will have to watch for clues. In a perfect world, people would say something when you get too close to a line. In this world, you are a tall, muscular white man. Lots of people will do a risk assessment and not say anything if they don't know you well. Sorry to say, you are in a demographic that has a bad reputation for violence when asked to modify their behavior. You are going to need to be proactive in asking the other person if something you said or did rubbed them the wrong way. It's frustrating to do something that you worked on, something that is you trying your best, and have it not work. I think this is one of the things we learn in the dojo. You just have to let it go and figure out what else you can do. Striving to be better is excellent. Perfection, not so much. You are living among the humans, not the angels.
  3. Challenge Log, Day 28 of 41 Supposed to be a workout day. Didn't happen. I woke up with nausea. I thought I'd just work out later in the day after it cleared up, but it never did. It's evening, and I'm still nauseous. Not sure if it's a bug, or if maybe I just ate too much salsa yesterday. Whatever the case, today's ended up being an unscheduled recovery day. Tomorrow was a scheduled recovery day. If I wake up and feel fine tomorrow, I intend to do today's workout then, and probably just treat the workout and recovery days as flipped.
  4. I've got NO particular insight in any of these questions, so. I think I'll ANSWER them! (i've got no prestige to lose)... 1) every Newb knows that ANY running causes immense problems with the knees/back/and joints. (except; I don't really feel it either) 2) see 1. and sidewalks are considered a SLIGHTLY harder surface than asphalt. (but really aren't both of them pretty much equal?- trails, grass, sand and fields are definitely more gentle surfaces) 3) mmm... Yes 4) NO! NEVER! and seriously what if you got lost? ok. being half-serious about it. the whole running hurts you joints argument is live and well in the minds of many people (and some of them considered, fitness gurus). Other people no less credentialed say that the whole running hurts your joints doesn't hold water. as I understand it- there Isn't firm research saying that running does hurt joints and some scientists think running might actually help; as the body fortifies your joints as you run. (or maybe that's what I HOPE is true?) I think commonsense dictates a careful approach on this topic. Its good to look into ways of lessening impact on your joints. they include * trail running *using good cushioned shoes when running on soft surfaces *keeping speeds and stress Generally low; current theory is that 80% of your workouts should be easy with only 20% being vigorous *and Lastly striving to have a good running form; landing midfoot and keeping cadence high. ok, back to the jokes? if you DO manage to catch the goblin (or whatever) at the end of the rainbow- do ask him to reveal the ANSWER to handling foot impacts upon your joints, cuz I'm sure that you could make MORE MONEY revealing this, then any reasonable sized pot of gold. (IMHO)
  5. Today
  6. Trembriele

    Trembriele Battles the Free Magic

    Based on recommendations from my most recent trip to the gastroenterologist, I’ve been gluten-free for almost a week. Deep squats (7, 6, 6) Forearm knee raises (7, 6, 6) Jackknife pull-ups (7, 6, 6) Pike push-up (7, 6, 6) Inverted rows les bent (7, 6, 6) Box push-ups (8, 7, 7) Arm and leg lift plank 50 seconds
  7. DoubleTrouble

    Avatar: The Last Darebender (Darebee PVP Challenge)

  8. many wonderful changes have begun with nothing More than this. I love it! its so direct and passionate. ty for posting it I look forward to learning what that means for you, in your life. feel free to think it out and post it.
  9. Yesterday
  10. TGP

    Hello NF Community!

    welcome to the forums, Kad. one thing I don't quite understand. are you going to a gym? it seems like you way you are (or have?) and yet you say that You're not and its a little confusing. regarding your goal; I think Strength training ought to be a BIG focus of your exercise program. Its clear with a previous injury you have to be careful... but nothing quite builds muscle like weight training. what I wonder is whether you have access to barbells and whether you know how to use them with good technique? if you use good technique I think the weight gain will solve itself. lift weight; increase that weight over time and your appetite and strength and weight will soar....
  11. Emma

    ElizeElvinFoxRyder - Running with the dogs

    Been evacuated twice in the past three years for wildfires. First time, no notice, fire coming down the hill. Second time, a couple of days warning. I have learned firsthand that my normally very rational, cool, calm and collected brain turns to mush and I do not always make good decisions during evacuations. Make a list ahead of time and keep it by the door. Maybe keep a go bag packed at all times with clothes and entertainment for the kids. Flashlights. A book light for reading by. One of the random things I grabbed on my way out the door last time was a book of piano music. I ended up at a hotel that happened to have a piano in the lobby and I was very happy to have that music book with me. You don’t have to grab the entire computer if you don’t have time or space, just the hard drive. After spending a night shivering in a parking lot, I now keep a sleeping bag in my trunk at all times. Getting far away from the disaster area and staying with my kids is my solution. It eases the stress on the people taking care of evacuees (she says nobly, ahem) and (most importantly to me) it eases the stress on me. Some in the area just said to hell with it and took the kids to Disneyland.
  12. TGP

    Terra pulls it together!

    yuck! so, you have celiac disorder then? my dad just got diagnosed. I had some reservations about it; is it possible/plausable that I would have it too? (i'm thinking the answer to that is YES- but I'm not yet ready to explore that question with a doctor) I don't know. Like you say; I intend to experiment a little to see... but mostly, either way, its probably for the best for me to keep my diet rather low carb. my wife is a diabetic anyway. anyways, gluten intolerance sounds like it makes exercise workouts pretty hardcore. do you figure you will dial back on intensity or wait until you feel a little better? curious...
  13. TiogaGirl

    TiogaGirl Tracks, Moves, and Sleeps

    So far, so good, for Monday!! SUPER steppy day (20 000 so far) and I used a break in my meeting lineup to zip over to the gym and knock off a fast but intense kettlebell workout. They also have a big range of KB sizes, so I tried them all (well, up to 30 lb) to see how they compare to my 20 pounder at home. Nicest part was the trek across campus in the warmest, sunniest part of the day ... so got to synthesize a little bit of vitamin D, I hope. Working tally, to be updated tomorrow with final reckoning for the day, Food: all tracked so far, nicely under cals so far Water: oh yeah, better get on this one. About 6 cups so far, so I’ll start brewing up some of the herbal teas acquired on Sat AF: yep, so far, (no surprises as it’s barely 6 pm here! But no plans to booze it up on a school night either) Lifty/ stretchy? YEAH BABY! +2 Steppy: OH HECK YEAH +1 Early riser: yep! +1 Early to bed: time will tell! Let’s hope so, I’m wiped out right now and have an early morning meeting tomorrow Showing up: here I am! +1
  14. Sloth the Enduring

    TGP voyages to the Edge of the Map!

    Huh. I’ve hit all those. I guess I’m better off than I’ve been feeling.
  15. Emma

    Emma: no pain allowed

    Saturday and Sunday very slow at work. Only one case Sunday, none on Saturday. eating off plan on Saturday, a lot of tv watching. (I don’t actually have a tv, but have figured out how to watch online.) Sunday better, started putting bed together instead of so much tv. Today so far. Finished bed and washed car. It is amazing what I can accomplish when my knee and back aren’t hurting. Have been dreading the next to last task on my list, raking a years worth of leaves. Every year I say I will keep up with they yard work and every year I fail, epically. I really hate yard work. But the goddess was kind to me and sent a guy to do the raking and clean my roof and gutters! Last task is winterizing the porch. Which i do not dread so much.
  16. Sloth the Enduring

    Ye Slightly Spooky Ranger Guild Hall [General Chat]

    I want to live in a world with tiny dinosaurs jumping out of trees.
  17. Owlet

    zenLara's journey

    Late to the party here but oh my, you are pregnant?! yaaaaaaaay so happy for you!!
  18. Bonaventa

    Ignimbrite smash

    How did your Monday go?
  19. Bonaventa

    Bonaventa's Lost & Found

    Sooo, first day after making the commitment: How did I do? Well, I chose to eat my healthy snack with some additional oats and seeds for breakfast and was running hangry around 4pm... I ended up having my second sweet unit for the day in the form of a hot chocolate with a cookie. So lesson learned - eat a little more breakfast and keep the snack for its intended time. I have the worst DOMS I can remember from yesterday's thrusters/workout in general and went to Monday yoga class with a friend! That was awesome though also painful because of soreness... Tomorrow will be a rest day and only the yoga session I have as part of my yoga goal. It will help me prevent burn out.
  20. Bonaventa

    Bonaventa's Lost & Found

    Yeah, exactly. No one tells you that in Highschool
  21. Bonaventa

    Bonaventa's Lost & Found

    Good question: so, my problem usually are lunch and snacks at work. I normally don't have breakfast or only a banana. Than around lunch I get hungry so that's where I need to prepare and then just before work is done I get hungry again (nearly regardless of what I had for lunch) so that's when I need a sweet-ish snack ready. So I aim for 5 lunches prepped and 5 snacks prepped. I'm currently into thrusters (I think that's a perfect whole body movement) so that's where I start. I agreed with my boyfriend who is an active Crossfit-er to add 3 more movements that I don't know the English names anymore Yeah, but if I can do those 4 exercises well and confidently than I'll be able to ask my gym for a new programming. I know right?! And it's not so bad - until you see it and then it's everywhere! Mh, I haven't studied the programs yet so I don't know how realistic setting a certain goal yet. All I know is I like to work on the handstand part first. And if I dive into the programs further I'll report here and adjust the goals Yasss!
  22. Kishi


    Ah. Okay. Now I understand. Thank you for your advice. I'm sorry I snapped at you. Like I said, I'm a little sleep deprived and a little strung out, so I'm not catching on as quick as I could be. Well, yeah, but it's not that I believe I'm at a zero-error level, it's that I can't even identify what the errors are. I mean, I thought I was running away from committing errors as hard as I could and I wound up hitting a whole other set on the other side of the spectrum. Ain't that something. And if you commit too many errors, eventually the person you commit them on doesn't want to be around anymore, and there's not necessarily any telling where or when that is. ... I suspect this preoccupation with perfect conduct is probably going to be another thing I have to interrogate.
  23. TGP

    TGP voyages to the Edge of the Map!

    Googling this and I found it interesting and thoughtful I've had many of these happen to me (at one point or another)... how bout you guys? I'm thinking a fav is "Training for a big event" though "moving from machines to free weights" was pretty cool Actually I think its a short list! NOT included but something I consider a milestone.... (in random order) An intense exercise Event that occurs for all of 24 strait hours! (actually mine was 49 hours- but anything over 24hours is crazy mental). completing the c25k (that first 5k that you actually ENTIRELY ran. its a beautiful moment) growing into an exercise class (the moment you feel Like your NOT a newb; and you belong there...) switching to something new (from one exercise program/ activity to another....) the Joy (and pain of) Tapering! ... lol. you just Want to get to it; but you know your body needs a break Busting a misconception... something you thought was true but as you got more educated and experienced, realized it wasn't Turning something you didn't enjoy into something you Now love. Aka R-U-N-N-I-N-G. ha! spent most of my LIFE Hating any form of running. its actually turned into the best moments of the day! any additional entries? anyways. kind of a day like that for me. I'm all happy about my weight and am thinking back on the good stuff about my program. I'll try to get to a skip story in the next few days. hoping you guys are all doing well. many of you seem busy- i SO know that feeling! so much to do. so little time to do it. even this very challenge. its all running away from me.
  24. Terra

    Terra pulls it together!

    I am suffering the effects of gluten My digestive system is a mess from end to end! I am suffering some ligament tenderness in my hands and I spend my days at a computer most of the time. My skin is breaking out. I am sluggish and having a hard time focusing. I don't know where I got into the gluten but I know that these are my symptoms. It will take a few days to recover. OK, so I have to deal with that mess yet function as a human being and parent. I am recovered from teaching BJJ to the high school kids, got my hair cut so it is more curly and have managed to do a n=1 experiment with wine (although it might not be a valid test since I didn't realize the gluten thing till afterwards and multiple variables can invalidate my data) Today I have BJJ class and am in recovery mode with my food. There is a loose plan for meals this week. Sleep will be important tonight! Later this week: I'm having some success with my phone reminders to get some exercise in at home. I might have to modify my strength workouts to something more tender-hand friendly...
  25. Lateral Planet

    Bean Si vs Chaos - Bean Tries

    I'm just catching up. First thing is I'm glad your nose is feeling better! I'm so glad this turned out to be a non-issue. It sucks that they couldn't just communicate properly, but it's one less thing to worry about. And you're so close to finishing! You're not a failure and not at all dumb. Kiddo maybe could use some guidance on what is and isn't an OK topic for teasing. I don't think that's spoiled of you to say, it's not a thoughtful way of doing gift cards.
  26. GoodDoug

    GoodDoug Does ALL THE THINGS

    The group of Warriors quickly and quietly approached the large group of undead, working to get closer to the necromancer closest to them. At a nod from the party leader, GoodDoug broke cover, brandishing his large sword, running towards the rotting horde. The group cleaved through the ghouls and zombies efficiently, the half-ogre forming the point of the spear and concentrating on forward movement while the others protracted his flank. After a flurry of fighting, GoodDoug found himself facing the necromancer. The undead leader looked surprised to be facing him, and hastily readied a spell. The half-ogre muttered a quick counter spell and went in for the attack. A wave of sickly green energy washed towards him, weakened by the counterspell, but still with some teeth. GoodDoug fought through the necrotic energy and swung his sword at the necromancer. The other Warriors fanned out to keep the undead away from the half-ogre and his quarry. GoodDoug's first swing went slightly wide, but his return swing was on target, catching the necromancer on the leg. The necromancer swung his staff at the half-ogre's head. Ducking, the large Ranger shoved the necromancer, hoping to break his concentration and swinging once again. This swing was true and caught the enemy in the midsection. Immediately, the zombies around them lost cohesion, milling about and striking randomly. At the same time, more Warriors emerged from the woods to take the fight to the other necromancers. The fighting was intense but short lived. GoodDoug's group mowed through the undead around them heading for another necromancer. This time the Warrior leader made a heroic leap over the heads of the last line of defense to take out this second necromancer in one quick swipe of his sword. The warriors mopped up the remaining undead and GoodDoug got to work healing those that needed it. In the end, half the original group of warriors were out of commission, some because of injury and some that would not be rising again. To make sure they wouldn't the Warriors built large funeral pyres. The healing work was therapeutic for the half-ogre. His time with the Warriors was at an end. It was time to get to the front lines again. Week recap: Not bad at all. I had a little week 3 slumpage, but basically got it mostly done. Juggling and Duolingo was consistent. Tracking was consistent... even when I ate like crap I tracked it. I was on point for protein at the very least so yay. I got a new tool for the woodshop, a drum sander. So I've spent some time getting that set up, but did nothing else for woodwork. I'd like to get some more time to do some work, but it isn't likely I will get much more time until the break next week. Lifting was good. I decided to lift somewhat lighter but more consistently. Monday and Wednesday I did a set of squats and deadlifts along with some different upper body push pull exercises. Squats were kicking my ass but deadlifts were too easy, so on Friday I did just deadlifts at a much heavier weight. It felt pretty good to push to what felt was my max effort. But, I remember now that lifting makes me stupidly hungry. I know I need to eat more when I lift, but damn, son. I'm trying to get back on track a bit for the coming week, but I definitely need to take this information into account when thinking of the next challenge. I'm ready to hang with the Assassins this week.
  27. Xena

    Strickland5 keeps running out of ideas

    I've always been interested in Bay to Breakers! Cookbook club sounds awesome!
  28. Xena

    NeverThatBored: Never Gonna Give You Up

    Those sound like important things to think about. The balancing out life with another person and having a good work situation are big goals. Just a question of how to make those life goals complimentary to or consistent with challenge goals. Not easy but important.
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