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  2. Elastigirl

    Eat. Move. Rest. Tanktimus Takes Care of Himself

    This is the method I use (except I don't follow Battle Logs- that's a good idea)
  3. Kishi


    It is. It's hard to watch, and what degree of emotional labor is appropriate becomes really difficult for me to assess and answer for myself. That's part of why I like having so many positive voices here. Y'all keep me straight. "I'm not just a GL... I'm also a client." Y'know, I never would have thought of that. Not that I'm trolling for compliments, mind; I just don't think of myself as the kind of person that other men would be jealous of. Or should be, for that matter! I don't do anything that anyone can't do; whatever compelling qualities I have were learned, and if it can be learned it can be taught, meaning that it can be acquired. There's lots of room for both of us to be awesome! Still. It does make sense, though, and while it's never been articulated to me, it would track with what I see as a pattern of emotional dishonesty. It's not just dishonesty with others; it's also dishonesty with himself. I'm not sure which bothers me more. This is true. And there's something in the way you put this that makes it rather stark to me. I'm trying to invest in someone who doesn't want to invest in me, when I have lots of people who want to invest in me that I chose not to invest in for the sake of the one. When you put it that way, it becomes pretty clear what I should do. I dunno if I ever did. I say so many things. But that's damn solid advice and I appreciate it either way. But yeah, you and everyone else have really helped to set the situation in a different light for me. Being there when needed is one thing, but it's not always healthy to be, and that's something I gotta learn to be mindful of and figure out on a case by case basis. But I doubt I'd have ever really even tried to start if y'all hadn't stepped in to help. Thank you, and everyone else. Hey, you too! I haven't been great at being up on your business, but I've been hearing good things when I check in to... see? (people hear with their eyes, right? That's how that works? I dunno, I'm not a doctor). And I might just do that too. Be an emotional badass about it and give him the People's Elbow. With my emotions. Yeah, and y'all help me with that. I really appreciate y'all being patient enough and seeing enough in me to want to help. Not that I doubt. I just never want to take you or anyone for granted. Thank you for being my friends. No and see that's exactly how it would happen. None of us in this group want to hurt each other and we're all trying to look out for one another, but in trying to sidestep and accommodate one another's issues it's entirely possible that we could set off others. It just gives me an appreciation for how delicate this all is. Also, the site isn't letting me "like" your post, but it's there in spirit, so. Rationally, that's something I know. But it's not something that ever really sank into my bones and became capital-T Truth, even back in my conventionally religious days. I dunno. It's just a hard sell with me. But I guess that's something I have to learn to accept. * So. The weekend turned out to be about as busy as it ever is. Lotta highs and a pretty big low. The highs include getting more pull ups without hurting my elbow, getting back with the fam to restart D&D, getting on the mats to do BJJ and being cited as "senior white belt," which doesn't mean much but just made me happy on a certain level. The big low is that I got the news that my Godfather, who is also my uncle, has been diagnosed with lung cancer. He's elected not to undergo treatment. They've given him 3-6 months. So... yeah. A little scatterbrained today. We were really close when I was growing up and though we grew apart with distance and politics, he's still someone I regard with a lot of affection. So to lose him, and this on top of my losses already this year... it's tough. I'm doing my typical "hold the emotional reaction at a distance so you can function" thing, meaning that it's trying to manifest in anger at everything for not giving me the space to sit and process. Because in my heart, I'm an angry and bitter man, and those are the channels through which most of my feelings tend to run. Which isn't a thing I would have really understood about myself without the help of the Divorcee Friend. We got together for lunch and drinks on Saturday before her inking, and she's caught on to the Jackass Friend's emotional dishonesty. He's started to comport himself as if he's developing an attraction. (which I could see. She's cute. I unfortunately have many attractive friends. ) Which would be one thing if he could manage it - it's tough, but that's what you gotta do sometimes - but I'm not willing to give him the credit for that kind of emotional wisdom. I told her as such, and there was something in sharing that that kind of made friendship a little easier. Afterward I sat with her and read some Marx while she got a tattoo. Took longer than I thought it would, but it's quality work and you can't rush something like that. If you're gonna ritually scar yourself, gotta make it look good. Anyway. Sunday was strength work and boxing and BJJ with its aforementioned goodness. Today will gaming and some conditioning stuffs. Should be good times. One of the players has a friend observing; I have complete and total faith that this will result in dramatics down the line as it has every time this player has brought someone on. But that'll be a problem later. I got enough right now as it is.
  4. *shaar is sharpening her bard-knives in the corner. she's simultaneously here and also not here, like schrodinger's shaar!~* HAPPY CHALLENGE Y'ALL!
  5. J3NN

    J3NN's got to move it, move it

    Hi - J3nn again... Married, mother of adult daughter, Marketing & Communications career in Southern California. I am in maintenance mode and I need to kick it into getting better mode. To be fair, this year has been overwhelming, and the fact that I maintained should count for something, but by now, I figured I'd be down 15 lbs or more... I am not moving enough... I can't get myself in the habit of it. So, I need to make myself do more. I have issues with a sweet tooth, it's been horrible this year, so I want to do a better job of balancing my diet. I keep dropping out of the challenges too, so this time I'm going to hold myself accountable for tracking and reporting in. Nutrition tracking (Not sure how to do this in My Fitness Pal, Noom does it, but tracking is much harder) Green – 30% (Vegetables, Fruits and Whole Grains) Yellow – 45% (Lean meats, starches, low-fat cheeses – includes avocado, hummus, etc.) Red – 25% (Grains, Processed meats, full-fat dairy, processed Snacks, alcohols, desserts, etc.) Fitness 1/wk Personal trainer led workout 1/wk Individual led workout (1 hr, including stretching) Strength training, 1 set, 15 reps every non-workout day Exercises that qualify: Squats Push ups (counter) Lunges Bicep curls Tricep curls Flutter kicks Russian twist Reverse crunch Reverse sit-up Dumbbell rows Muscle ups 5,000 daily Steps Level Up Your Life Test crochet patterns/styles to write an ugly Christmas sweater beanie for our hockey team I want to write a custom pattern to create an ugly Christmas Sweater version of a beanie in my hockey team’s colors. Last year they did a special jersey auction and I want to do something similar as a beanie to wear all season. Here are a couple pics The team colors are Black and White and Gray, so I want to use that color scheme. The following patterns all have pattern elements that I may want to incorporate, so I want to do test swatches of each of them to figure out how I can incorporate them into a single piece. Daily tracking in my tracker and reporting here at least 5 times a week. So that's me this time... here we go.
  6. shaar

    Salinger's twenty second challenge!

    Catching up, your Venice photos are AMAZING!!!! Gosh it's so perfect~ How's the car doing?? :] Hope you are hanging in there this afternoon!! Tell that negative voice in your head to kick rocks!!!!
  7. Sylvaa

    Eat. Move. Rest. Tanktimus Takes Care of Himself

    I have stopped "following" everyone (except for a few battle logs, because I don't venture to that area very often). It's actually been very helpful to my forum browsing. Instead, I check in on my Guild at least once a day (okay, more like at least three times a day) and then the other guilds when I feel like it. So I still catch up on the posts of people I care about, but I don't have that overwhelming sense of all of the follows. I'm not sure if anything similar would work for you, but it's definitely given me less stress over HAVING to be involved, which makes me WANT to be more involved. But yes, the GL's are amazing (I mean, not that I'm trying to toot my own horn) and we are here to support you just as much as the rest of the rebels!
  8. shaar

    Cheetah sallies forth with renewed vigor.

    Is this clickbait?!!?! Have I been SCAMMED???
  9. shaar

    [Sloth] Eat Pizza, Be Awesome, Repeat

    Phew this is a doozy of AWESOME here NGL...
  10. Ehhhh..... *gestures vaguely* :] I'm still noticing positive results but I'm just a lazy frick lately so. Ehehe. I did go twice last week!!!!!!!!!! DINNER WAS GREAT!!!!! Welcome back, I need to read about your travels!!!! <3333 MAYBE MORE VLOG ON A LOG IN A BATTLE LOG?!!?1/!?!?!?! Heehee~ HI GUYS weekly update phew. Uhhhh. What happened....... Gym happened twice and that was rad, Shark Week started looming towards the end of last week and knocked me for a loop tho'. Weather has been AMAZING here an frankly the best litmus test of my days lately is my Instagram - I had a GREAT weekend being outside, buying and planting flowers, hanging up our hummingbird and suet feeders, and sitting outside in the sun~ My work lunch for this week is SO AMAZING - I made a chicken and avocado salad - pretty much shredded rotisserie chicken, 2 diced avocados tossed with lime juice, thinly chopped green onions and cilantro, and a light lime juice/mayo dressing and it is a MA zing. I have it with a size of garlic quinoa and a hard boiled egg. <333333 I AM GOING TO NYC ON FRIDAY to see K for a long weekend AND I AM VERY EXCITED!!!!!!! GONNA WALK SO MUCH AND HOPEFULLY NOT DIE~~ And eat all the food and see all the things aaaaaa Okokok off to check out y'all's NEW CHALLENGES before my lunch is up! <3
  11. So I was going to just move my challenge over, but I decided against it. The reason I stay here is because I don't want a battle log format, so I'm going to do what I want. I had a rough weekend and this week is going to continue to be a bit rough, so I'm giving myself a bit of a pass on Week 0. Spoiler alert: death With this, I am giving myself permission to be kind to myself for Week 0. My goals are only to keep up with my tomatoes (for work purposes) and to make sure to get 30 minutes of some kind of exercise a day (for mental health purposes). Anything other than that will be bonus.
  12. KB Girl

    KB Girl preps for the world championship

    It's remembering to prep/bring them when I'm not eating at home.. That's the thing with 3 servings in a day, I'll have 1 or 2 for dinner pretty much always.. and breakfast or lunch is no problem when I'm at home, but when I'm having both those meals at work it's tricky.
  13. Mike Wazowski

    Act VIII - Harriet Makes Battle Plans

    Really like the approach you're taking here - and excited to walk with you on the journey!
  14. KB Girl

    KB Girl preps for the world championship

    I like the analogy too though I wish I had as much confidence in not having missed any other steps, I feel like I've just accumulated years of half missed steps never quite sure if I'm just being realistic or pessimistic. But whatever- it is what it is and fuck it I'm not doing half bad as in that I'm allowed to compete in a world championship in the first place. The headspace is so interesting pre-important-competition. It's not just me that gets like this. The past few days/weeksI've been helping my team deal with their identity crisises too. Some rambling on that behind the spoiler.
  15. Captainfantastic

    WhiteGhost Gets Serious 2: The Seriousening

    love that serious theme
  16. scalyfreak

    Better late than never

    I don't think you have anything to feel guilty for (easier said than done, I know). You are better off away from there, and I'm glad you've received an offer and have options!
  17. Captainfantastic

    Lightning tries New Game+

    Love this! Keep it up!
  18. Captainfantastic

    Cataleya Sneaks Back Into the Ranks

    excited to see you succeed!
  19. Welcome to my challenge! Quick recap on the last challenge, I do really well during the week, when I'm home half the day and at work the other half, and I'm pretty good about making my own food and everything. I work every other weekend from 7a to 11p saturday and sunday and i basically am a garbage disposal and they have so many good homemade foods. SO! since starting the last challenge I have lost 6 lbs, BUT i gained 3 back. Which is fun. but not really. ANYWAYS. So my challenge for this month! I have a calorie intake goal that I'd like to hit daily, but I'd also like to fill that goal with healthy, homemade foods. I'd like to be making food to bring to work instead of eating food made at work. my next goal is to hit the gym twice a week. Day one is arms and back, day two is legs and abs! Lastly I'm going to be doing intermittent fasting at least five days a week, starting my fast at 5p and ending my fast at nine! So those are my goals for this month! I'm excited to get my poop in a group.
  20. ladylydia

    Ladylydia's 90 day challenge- Part II

    New challenge.....sort of.
  21. So I had some significant hiccups in the last challenge; the main one being that my mom was hospitalized for nearly two weeks, while they cleared 40 lbs of excess fluid off of her and started her on dialysis. My shoulder also gave out and re-injured itself meaning that my "100 days of push ups" has been on hold at 45 push ups for nearly a month. The one good fitness related thing was, I finally hired a lawn mowing service for my over-sized lawn; and now instead of sacrificing 2-3 nights a week fighting with my mower, I have that time to work on my fitness goals. So...... the new goals, are the old goals. I'm giving this leg of my challenge a do-over. In the interest of habit building& consistency, here are my goals: Tier I: Workouts Goal 1: Cardio Stamina. To rebuild my heart health: 20+ min walk 5x a week, (4 min. tabata if the weather doesn't cooperate.) Goal 2. Upper Body Strength: Push ups. I've lost a lot of upper body strength along the way. :Progressive push ups: starting with 11 on day one, adding one rep a day ending with 100 on day 90. These might be a bit rough for a bit, so I will accept a combination of knee push ups, negatives, inclines, and standards. I messed up my shoulder at some point, so until it's feeling strong again, "Day 35" (45 push ups) is frozen in time, and will remain for the time being. . Goal 3: Core Strength: Planks. Pretty similar to the push up goal. Starting with 21 seconds, add 1 second to a plank hold a day, for 90 days. I was holding this one in time like the push ups, but my core feels fine, so I'm going to go ahead and start advancing this one. Tier II: Diet Goal 1: Water. I'm am chronically dehydrated, to the point that I'm often light-headed and dizzy, so the goal is 5 glasses of water a day. Goal 2: Calories. Not to get too obsessed with calorie counting but I think the aim of 2000-2300 daily will be reasonable, Goal 3. No Snacking: I take in most of my calories from night snacking. So it needs to stop or at least be minimized. Real meals during the day, and 1 or less snacks at night.
  22. JessRed

    WhiteGhost Gets Serious 2: The Seriousening

    I love Chinese food! It's how I trick myself into eating vegetables, I'll eat almost anything that's stir fried and padded out with rice or noodles. Cooking it yourself is usually much healthier than the takeaway versions, you know what goes into it. My 'chef's tip': they use fresh ginger in a lot of recipes, buy a big chunk, peel it, chop it into 2cm chunks and freeze it so you always have some to hand. You can grate it from frozen.
  23. Sciread77

    Teros 54: Phoenix Begins

    Let’s rock’n’roll.
  24. Last challenge I set the goal of swapping escapism for mindfulness, but I was overwhelmed by feelings I didn’t understand and couldn’t really name. All I know is that I feel a constant background anxiety that is soothed by checking the internet for new tidbits. That I feel a strange and powerful agitation whenever I try to eat without screens, or just sit with my thoughts, and that I feel an inexplicable resistance to doing those activities I deem valuable, and that I frequently trade them for useless internet time that I don’t even enjoy, even while cursing my weakness. I believe I entered battle unprepared for enemies that are a much higher level than I anticipated. So this challenge is about preparing. The first step is gathering information, both about myself and about the problem. So my challenge will detail what I learn, whether from books or introspection. Hopefully as the challenge goes on this will resolve into a real battle strategy and tactics I can implement. I will start by naming my enemies. A spell of true seeing has revealed these previously invisible fiends. I hope by naming them I will ease my guilt and be motivated to renew the fight. The Resistance If you've read "The War of Art" you may already know the Resistance. It’s the voice in your head that tries to get you not to write/paint/dance/do the creative thing. It takes many, many forms, but for me it’s anxiety and reluctance to start the activities I deem worthwhile (but which take mental focus and emotional vulnerability). I’ve noticed that the more emotional significance I place on creative activities, the more powerful the Resistance becomes. It is starved when I treat creative work as just another task, and when I focus on the specific, concrete steps needed to start. “Set out the tubes of paint” does not feed the Resistance. “Paint something beautiful” does. "Draw something" awakens the resistance, but "draw this eastern red-cheeked grosbeak" does not. Happily, the Resistance does not infect all worthwhile activities; it is mercifully absent from reading, knitting, lifting, and taekwondo. But it lurks around painting and writing, waiting to take bites out of me if I so much as consider attempting them. The Agitation My second enemy is the Agitation. It’s that uncomfortable feeling I get when I want to be on the internet checking for new things, but am not. It’s the fidgety, anxious feeling I get when I’m stuck in the real world and have nothing to distract me. When I do as it bids and check my messages (or do anything distracting to ease my anxiety), I feed it. That is, I make it quiet, but it is nourished and becomes more powerful. When I sit quietly or do a purposeful activity, it is starved: it complains loudly, which is painful, but it becomes weaker, like a warrior fed a low-carb, dairy- and meat-free salad with low-fat dressing. My best weapon against it is exercise: movement temporarily banishes the Agitation and makes me calm, increasing my ability to focus on other things.
  25. Shello

    Cheetah sallies forth with renewed vigor.

    This sounds exciting! I'm in.
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