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  2. ReturnOfTheDad


    2019: Year of the Wandering Monk Weight: 219.7 Sleep: 7 Hrs Water: 1 gallon Macros: 130g Protein, 130g Carbs, 100g Fats Calories: 2000 Meals: 9:00am - Protein bar, coffee, vitamins 12:30pm - Greek yogurt, honey, mangos, green tea 3:00pm - Banana 6:30pm - BBQ, fried chicken, veggies Fitness: 11:00am - Training: Boxing 4:00pm - Conditioning: 3x800m Intervals 1 - 6 min 2 - 6 min 3 - 7 min Notes: Adjustments to medication are ongoing. Definitely feel more even, but still a bit sluggish. Exercise and green tea seem to be helping. I’ve been surprised on what’s been most difficult to deal with. I don’t miss my depressive episodes, but I am definitely missing the manic times (did not know they were manic). It was equal parts physical and mental rush with the feeling that nothing was impossible and that I could do it all. I know that was really unhealthy now but it feels very much like going from a pot of coffee a day to the occasional herbal tea (also probably healthier). Strangely found myself wistful and tearful today from missing it, but I know I was causing a lot of damage to myself and those around me. I’m a little more than half way through the adjustment period of 1 week for the medication, but I think there are some things hat are going to take longer to adjust to since this is all I’ve ever known. Rest of the day went well, went a little over board on dinner, but not too terrible. On to another day and more Dr. Appointments tomorrow to confirm the diagnosis.
  3. Sloth the Enduring

    [Sloth] Eat Pizza, Be Awesome, Repeat

    I still haven’t yogaed. Monday June 17. The kids are really busy with circus, dance, and swimming. Mrs. Sloth has done a lot of the running around, but our life has been busy. The kids had friends over all day and a friend joined us for dinner on the patio. i repaired the patio furniture, finished upgrading the mountain bike, did some laundry. I went mountain biking. It was only nine miles, but I spent time dialing in my fit. My front end is longer, lower, and wider this year and it took a bit to get it adjusted just right. Tuesday June 18 Remember the raggedy, old blind dog? We still have her. She isn’t raggedy any more and she seems to be seeing things now, light for sure, walls and other big obstacles. She is also no longer anxiety ridden. She is, however, still old. Today I took her to a specialty clinic for an eye tuck. The operation was to keep her eyelashes from scraping on her cornea. I don’t remember ticking anything off the punch list. We went out for pizza. If there are still any locals around, Moon Palace Books on Hiawatha has great pizza. It’s fancy pizza though, watch out for anchovies. I went mountain biking - 15 miles. Strava says I’ve been slower, but not by much. If I can lose some weight I think I’ll be able to improve pretty quickly. I really like the new setup, besides being more comfortable handling has improved greatly. The nice thing about riding early is that every one else is at work and you never see anyone except at the trailhead. I figured out one simple trick trick to save a lot of money, don’t buy tacos and burritos after every mountain bike ride. I still have to decide if life is worth living like this.
  4. Teirin

    Teirin's standards have never been lower.....

    Thanks! Still alive. Cally is settling into getting insulin shots and I'm waiting for a toenail to fall off. Things are otherwise somewhat stressed but ok. I have mostly been shutting down some after work instead of doing a lot useful. Shit to deal with: the apartment is a mess and I have gained significant weight. Garden still not planted. The good stuff: Presentation is looking good, sleeping ok at least, Heidi loaned me tools to get the garden and worm bin sorted.
  5. SkyGirl

    Lightbearer: Liminal

    "Still brooding, I see." I blushed and straightened out of my hunched posture, shaking off my hood to sheepishly face the Bearded Ranger. I had been crouched at the edge of the small jagged embankment for nearly an hour, feeling miserably cold despite the hot weather and gloomily thinking about all the decisions I needed to make. I had been invited to become a member of the local community of Lightbearers, the followers of the King who served and ministered to the community where I lived. I was deeply impressed by their elder, Steven the Wise, a tall and broad-shouldered man with kind, preoccupied eyes that never seemed to be focused on anyone, yet always aware of who was nearby and in need of a helpful or thoughtful word. He was as learned as a monk but quietly and fiercely revolutionary, as was his wife Marlee, a bright-eyed, powerful woman with intricate tattoos woven across her skin from her neck to her fingertips and a warm smile like a welcoming campfire. I was drawn to their spirit - I wanted to serve with them and learn from them and be part of their community. But the way they lived was different from what I was accustomed to, and I needed to decide if I was ready to change what I had believed all my life. And as I had come trooping home from work one day the previous week, I found a small letter tucked underneath the wreath of dried flowers on my door, in firm, masculine handwriting that I didn't recognize. When I opened it, I was stunned to find a note from Guy, the man from Middle Earth whom I had long since given up hope of ever seeing again. He'd been thinking of me, he said, and he hoped I was well. And if I was willing, he hoped he could write to me again. I had gently laid the letter on the table and glanced at it quietly throughout the rest of the evening, uncertain what to think. Nearly two years had passed since I had bumped into him in the marketplace back in Middle Earth and he had treated me to dinner. Why was he thinking of me now? Should I give him permission to write to me, or leave the note unanswered? "I have a lot on my mind," I said lamely, scooting over to make room for the Bearded Ranger to lower himself to the ground. He didn't raise his eyes to my face, though, and I frowned as I followed his gaze - to my wrist, where the scrolling runes around them were glowing blue. I flushed and pulled my sleeve down to cover them. "Nightmares?" he asked calmly. I blushed deeper, but he didn't change his expression. "Sometimes you'll feel the ice more than the heat. That's all right. It's part of the cycle of life. Remember that these feelings don't come from a place of failure or evil - it's normal to be anxious about decisions and changes in our lives. You're more sensitive to them than some people, but not all. Remember Celah Uweni, the mage - she carries the ice and fire inside her like you do, but she has learned to let the waves of ice flow through and pass on their way. You'll get better at that. But you're not failing when you feel afraid - only if you act on that fear. If you were to take that icy fear in your veins right now and use it to harm others, then you have fallen into the shadow. But when you feel it there and you sit with it, just like you're doing, then you're just as strong as if you never felt it at all." "But I don't feel strong," I snapped, striking my hand against the ground. To my horror, ice shot out on each side of it and froze the grass almost up to the Bearded Ranger's knee. I gasped and yanked my hands back, quickly wrapping them up inside my loose jacket. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that!" The Bearded Ranger held out his hand, palm down, still not changing his expression. "Touch my hand, Sky." I stared at him. "Are you crazy? I'll freeze you!" "Touch my hand, Sky." "But -" "Sky." I bit my lip and slowly pulled my right hand out of my jacket, fearfully watching as the blue light pulsed angrily beneath the runes on my skin. This was exactly what had frightened me ever since I reclaimed my ice powers - if I touched the Bearded Ranger's hand, I would surely freeze him and cause him pain. And above all, I was terrified of the thought of hurting someone I loved when the ice was strong like it was now. But he sat still with his hand outstretched, so with unexpected tears tightening my throat, I slowly placed my hand on top of his wrist. Sure enough, as if I were a thundercloud exploding with lightning, the blue power shot out of my body and struck his hand, rapidly coating it with ice that crackled up his wrist and arm and began to encase his sleeve. I gasped and yanked my hand back, but he caught my wrist with his other hand and slapped my hand back down on top of his completely frozen hand. "Give me the words that go with this much pain," he said calmly. I trembled as the words poured out. "I'm not who I used to be, and that frightens me," I blurted. "If I choose to join this group of Lightbearers, I'll be something different than I always have been, agreeing with different truths about my King than I was brought up to believe. That scares me - what if they're wrong? What if I follow them because of my feelings and they're wrong, and then I'm wrong? Will my family be disappointed in me if I go this way? Do I truly want to be like these people? What happens if I change under their influence into someone I didn't want to be? What if I'm following them because of their human qualities and not because of how they serve the King? And -" I paused to catch my breath. "And what about the letter from Guy? He hasn't seen all the growth and change I've done in these past few years - he doesn't know how hard I've fought to become strong and brave and to speak up for what I believe and think, nor does he know how much fear and anxiety and weakness I carry inside me. What if he tries to change me back into who I used to be, when he knew me? And what if I'm tempted to do the same to him? What if I want to answer his letter because I still think of who he was when we were children, but he's a terrible person now? And what if-" I gulped a breath to try to slow the gush of words, trying to pry my hand away from the Bearded Ranger's wrist, where the ice had thickened until his entire arm was encased in more than an inch of ice. "Oh, my friend, I'm so sorry -" The Bearded Ranger smiled and let me tug my hand away, his eyes twinkling deep inside his hood. "Don't you feel better?" I did feel better saying those questions out loud - as if I had finally drained a blister, or released a breath I had been holding for much too long. I felt shaky and empty. And the blue ice no longer pulsed in my veins. "But your arm," I stammered. The Bearded Ranger chuckled. "Sky, surely you didn't forget that you're not the only one with the King's healing powers." He placed his other hand on the ice, and I watched in astonishment as it melted so quickly that it disappeared in a shower of steam. "An immature healer is in danger of taking the ice into themselves when they let another person cast it on them. But I've had many years of practice in not letting it into my system. You can talk to me, Sky. Sometimes you can let the ice fade on its own, but sometimes you need to release it. It's all right to do that, whether in private, in prayer, or with another person. You aren't hurting anyone, especially if they know how to keep it out of their own body." I swallowed hard and rubbed my hands on my knees, feeling warmer for the first time all day. "I wish you knew the answers to those questions. But I think I'm going to have to do the work to find them on my own." "You think correctly." "I'm going to have to be honest with myself about whether I really believe what Steven and Marlee do, and I have to make my choice based on that, not on them being brilliant and beautiful people." "I think that is wise." "And I guess I can't find out what Guy and I want from each other without answering the letter. But I know in advance that I'm not going back to who I used to be - frightened and meek and ashamed. I need to keep moving forward and finding out what the King wants me to do. And I need to be open to who he is now too, not who I want him to be." "It will be harder to do than to say, but I think you're on the right track." I drew a deep breath and pulled my knees up to my chest, sitting quietly for a few moments and looking out over the rocky embankment. "Change is part of growing, no matter who we are," I said softly, more to myself than to the Bearded Ranger. "None of us get to stay comfortable with ourselves and our lives for very long. We're meant to be rivers, not ponds - we flow, we rise and fall, we get too big for our banks sometimes, and other times we barely have enough water to move forward at all. But we aren't meant to sit still and stay the same, year in, year out. And just because we're flowing differently than we were a year ago doesn't mean we're a different river. We're just in a different season of life." The Bearded Ranger did not answer, but I knew, without seeing his face, that he was smiling. After another moment of letting some stillness return to my turbulent heart, I sighed and shook myself and rested my cheek on my knees to face him. "You didn't come out here to be my counselor, I assume. What did you want to talk to me about?" This time I could see his smile deep inside his hood, and his next words seemed to freeze the entire world into silence. "The leaders of the Ranger Corps have asked me to recruit ten new leaders to help oversee their districts. I've chosen you to be the leader for this district of Rangers."
  6. Mortimer

    Mortimer's battle logs.

    I think I didn't eat enough yesterday. Later part of the night I was feeling vaguely hungry as I slept. Breakfast: 4 eggs 26g spinach 375 ml of quinoa milk 30 grapes A persimmon A peach Then went for 1h les Mills body combat. Will go and donate blood later - so I'll skip my evening run with local running group - intend to do boot camp instead, it's less tiring then running. I expect tomorrow's weights to be harder due to blood donation. We'll see.
  7. Sloth the Enduring

    [Sloth] Eat Pizza, Be Awesome, Repeat

    Pugs are my favorite, but they shed too much and Slothboy is allergic. Yah, Slothboy needs a buddy in his class and he’d be fine with it. Thanks it’s not so much instinct as pattern recognition and a belief in reversion to the mean. Thanks all. Summer is the best. Not being quite as insane as I have been after the last few school years, I’m really able to enjoy it.
  8. Today
  9. Sloth the Enduring

    Shape of the Cheetah

    Your body will tell you how much rest you need. I’m no longer a runner, but I used a three day split - Hill day, long day, rest day - except when I just ran medium all the time, then I’d randomly take a couple of days off per week. Right now, with biking, I’m doing all medium all the time. It’s not the best for progress, but it’s the easiest to manage.
  10. Sloth the Enduring

    Scouts Camp 2019 : From jungle to the beach

    Hi. I followed Xena here. I’ll also be posting here next challenge. I do endurance mountain bike racing, but I let myself get fat and out of shape last winter, so I only have a couple of events planned this year. In response to Xena’s question, I don’t really do specific challenge goals, but my fitness goals are always, get some miles in, do some yoga (I never actually do it), throw the Kettlebell around some, and don’t eat like a dickhead. I also currently have a life goal of whittling down the to-do list.
  11. Tanktimus the Encourager

    Eat. Move. Rest. Tanktimus Takes Care of Himself

    Agreed. It gets better. We have set our 2nd anniversary as moving day. That's right. For our anniversary, we are getting ourselves a house. Thanks, I'll pass this along.
  12. NicTheRugger

    The Star-Spangled Miau With a Plan

    I'm sorry today's been a rough day I hope things get better soon! Sending lots of love and support your way. If it makes you feel any better, Chris Evans tried really hard to have his shirt off in that scene, and the directors were like "Chris, there's no legitimate reason why that would even happen." Maybe it's not the funniest thing, but I got a good chuckle out of it when I read that.
  13. NicTheRugger

    Salinger's twenty second challenge!

    What a precious kitty! I love his big blue eyes <3 And gosh, depression is such a jerk. I hate when it does that. I hope things get better for you soon. <3 sending you lots of love and support!
  14. NicTheRugger

    Watch the Queen Conquer - Nic Tackles Her Goals

    Nic blinked as she slowly came to. Where was she? As she turned her head, Nic recognized the Healer's building (infirmary?) at the base. Oh, that was right, she remembered.... she had been injured. She had been waylaid by the enemy in a specially prepared trap that had set up for Raiders if they happened to take a certain route through the Valley. Because of an unusual magic, Nic had been lured away from Bjorn and Shaestra and had fallen into an arachnosaur's web. "Ah, sleeping beauty awakes," a voice teased. Nic turned her head in the other direction. Shaestra was sitting on a chair next to the bed. "Welcome back to the land of the living, Nic. Healer says you were touch and go for a while." "Wh... what happened?" Nic croaked out. Shaestra told Nic that after they and Bjorn realized that Nic had vanished, they tracked her to the arachnosaur's web. While her companions had launched a valiant and heroic rescue, Nic was nonetheless bitten by the arachnosaur. Its venom sank deep into her body, rendering her mostly delirious with fever. It was only because of Bjorn and Shaestra that she was even still alive, as they had killed the arachnosaur and gotten her free of the web. The Healer had to use all of their skill to bring her back. "You guys saved my life," Nic said. "Thank you. I don't know how I can ever repay you." "It's nothing. Raiders don't leave each other behind." "I'm not a Raider," Nic protested. "Maybe not yet but..." Shaestra winked as they stood up from the chair. "I wouldn't be surprised if you got an offer to join us full time. Despite that thing with the arachnosaur, you've impressed a lot of people." They turned to walk out the door and paused. "Besides, I think Bjorn's really warmed up to you. He'll miss you if you leave. Better get well soon, we have another run to make." Story updated to reflect my relative inactivity last week. Today's "run" was actually 3 miles on the eliptical. My hip was feeling really tight this morning so I wanted to do something a little easier on the joints. Got in an ab session tonight. The new pull-up bar is great! It's all set up in my doorway for tomorrow morning. What's great about this adjustable bar is that I can drop it down to the floor to do crunches too. Did a 2 minute session using the bar to brace my legs/feet and got 103 in 2 minutes. Considering I haven't done a timed session in a couple of weeks, that's not too bad. I'm gonna call it an early night tonight and journal, Duolingo, and stretch. I realized I had a typo on yesterday's update. I didn't get a stretch session in yesterday. Probably hit 1 on the number pad instead of 0 and didn't realize it. Have a good night, friends!
  15. Jean

    Shape of the Cheetah

    No nosiness felt, it's nice to have you here and I'm always searching for advice. Speaking of which, I'm not particularly worried about my joints just now (because, let's face it, I'm not really running that much) but since it may become an issue in the future, any recommandations for it (equipment/techniques)? I've also read that rest days are also encouraged for running. I was going with the assumption that our bodies should be able to run on demand because you can't know when a predator will push you to flee and it can happen daily. Should I plan for rest days going forward (running only one in two days)? Will it only become important when I'll start adding more effort into it (more distance and incline runs)? No harm done, the important thing is that we enjoy ourselves. Don't hesitate to keep sharing news. When it comes to exercise, I tend to have the opposite issue so I try to leave any complexity (like caring for my health) out of it, which is practical but not optimal so thanks for stopping by and showing your concern, it shows to me that yes, I should still care about some of those things and it gives me an easy way to get insight on those issues (that I'd never research on my own at this point). Tuesday, June 18th: Ran for 12 minutes.
  16. You are doing so well with so many things! So there's also something to be said for "fake it till you make it." I think it's ok to feel unsure, but try not to let it stop you from doing things that you want or need to do. I've thought a lot about the imposter syndrome. One thing I think I've figured out is that I don't know how to make myself feel like less of an imposter, but I can try not to (1) let it stop me from doing things, or (2) beat myself up for feeling that way. #2 was the big realization for me. I felt terrible and I was making myself feel even worse by being critical of my own feelings.
  17. Xena

    Xena's Triumphant (?) Return from Sea

    Please do!!! ------------------ Today was ok-ish. Got in my 5 mile run, but felt pretty sluggish. Not worried about when you are tired is part of the deal. Only 5 negative pushups this morning...felt really tired, so I figured maintaining consistency was enough. Made my calorie goal (13/16 days). Wondering if cutting calories might be part of the reason I feel tired...but the calorie cut is reasonable, so I'm not going to worry about it too much. A temporary decline in performance is ok. Other reasons I could be feeling tired: work stress, couple hard workouts last week, low iron (started taking a supplement), humidity/heat...still not too bad, but increasing, pollen allergies. So yeah, could be lots going on. Will just stick with it for a little while. Sushi list...brought the propane tank (from the grill) inside to eventually exchange at the shop. Realized I missed the window for my 2018 fitness rebate but will be able to submit 2019 in August. Decided to substitute a different chore for the fitness rebate thing (since I didn't actually get it done). So yeah, still only 4/10, but I'm better positioned to knock out a couple things at the end of the week. Cooking goal...still at 9.5/10, but figured out the new recipe that I want to try: TVP tacos. Super easy and will be a good way to use up the TVP. Will make them after my next shopping trip (need to pick up a pepper and some taco shells).
  18. Yesterday
  19. Xena

    Hiroro Gets Cooking

    Don't worry too much about the vitamins (not that you are worried). Lots of women start taking them before they know they are pregnant.
  20. TGP

    TGP changes!

    ty liz no no it was an ok day. my Dad called. I cleaned up the desk (here at home) and did the dishes. went target shooting with my son. I hope that becomes a real thing with us. I think it would help brennon in a couple ways to be comfortable shooting a little 22 ga gun over the summer.
  21. Miaulin

    Watch the Queen Conquer - Nic Tackles Her Goals

    just the other day i caught myself wishing there were more parks and playgrounds about, only with grown-up-sized swings and slides and climbing frames i guess that's a gym in theory, but it doesn't have quite the same vibe. Cool that you found a bar to use! I hope it works out great for you also, nooooooooo no need to apologize! Good for you taking some time to get settled! <3
  22. sarakingdom

    Sara Kingdom Wears the Lilac

    I don't often feel this way, but some days, working for Vetinari has some real appeal. (Okay, let's be honest; would simply have problems that are not the ones I'm currently having. But it would solve the current problems, and that's what counts.)
  23. Valkyrie21

    Valkyrie's Crusade

    thanks for the tips, really appreciate it! Yesterday I felt so 'off' that I gladly stayed in bed except for the time I went shopping. I really needed it, was feeling achy all over and my body just wanted to rest. By evening I had perked up sufficiently to muster some energy on the rowing machine, pleased with that effort! I think due to the frosty mornings now I will reschedule my gym times to midday - the usual crew seems to be there always around 10 am so if I go later they'd have left and I might have the place to myself.
  24. MrUgly72

    The Fat Man Shuffle

    GRR! ARGH! NUCKING FRELLING DIRT MUNCHING>>>>>GAH!!!! My bike broke! My fault, I was unlocking it from the rack to go home and I didn't see the cable was tangled on the rack. Gave it the grunting lift, and.....ripped off the brake cable and dislocated the shifter. That kills two hours of cardio a day. and will cost me probably over $100, plus the Uber ride home. Damnit. Dammit. Damn it. Shit.
  25. NymianH

    The Long Night

    This is just the kick in the pants I need to get back to counting out those darling little calories... Me: "Ugh. Do we have to?" Also me: "Yep. Yes we have to, or we eat too much food." ALSO me: "But I don't wanna. Because cheesecake and popcorn with butter and fancy coffee drinks." I'm afraid I will have to start on this challenge tomorrow morning. Tonight I intend to stress-eat Costco hot dogs and potato chips. It's all about mindfulness and intention, I guess. LOL (Disclaimer: I'm kidding, I'm kidding about the mindfulness thing.)
  26. Snarkyfishguts

    Snarky Tests her “If I could”s

    Dad’s surgery went really well! He’s sitting comfortably listening to the news right now. Tomorrow he goes back to the doctor wehrre they will test his pressure and see how it really went. But he’s okay. He’s fighting with his phone to play an audiobook. Siri is great, but not perfect We got up super early, so everyone took naps this afternoon. We’re all still tired, but good! Thanks for putting up with me while I was worrying about this.
  27. RES

    RES: Keep on Going

    I love this idea!! Want to do the Gate with me next March? It's only 15k My thoughts exactly!
  28. WhiteGhost

    RogueLibrarian trains like a Jedi

    hahaha, so true
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