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after a few months of triumphantly ignoring my health and wellbeing, im back!
yes its true, i struggled, i fought. truly, i succeeded where others have failed as i managed to stay away from nerd fitness and general fitness and personal fitness entirely.. even when the call to arms came and i desperately wanted to get back on my exercise bike, i held true. a steadfast hero of sloth and gluttony. a victor over broccoli.

but alas, all good things must come to an end. its time to put the pizza rolls down  (and im not talking about the ones in the oven, ZZZING POW!) and get back to a routine. so here i go baby!

alright, lets observe protocol.. what do more level headed people do on this thread?

alright i should give some justification for why i dropped off the face of the internet.. this corner of the internet.. frankly, id say my presence on the internet at large has only gotten stronger!
i got a new computer, and i had an old computer die. not in that order, but as those words are written so shall they stay. i lost all my login information, AND THATS WHY IM UNHEALTHY.

also my bikes pedal broke cause i rode it too hard. some might say i rode so efficiently that the weakest link in the mechanism was overtaxed and failed.. turns out the weakest link was inside myself all along.

uhh.. and then what happens? looks like people come together to tell me itll all be ok and to cheer up bucko
well, I CAN DO THAT. self sufficiency-HO.
go get-em paku. believe in the me that believes in you. you are the eye of the tiger maybe..? believe in yourself and you can achieve greatness. put the fucking pizza down, you goon. you sure are tall. if i had hair like you, id be a lovely dame. cheer up bucko

so, on a "serious" note. a few people messaged me over the months when ive been away. i saw your comments and your prods for me to get my shit back in gear, and even though this is the first time i responded, it meant something.. it added to a (sadly short) list of reasons that eventually lead me back here.
@Captainfantastic @juliebarkley
so thank you for believing in the me that would eventually find his way back here.

there were some things said that really derailed me from living a fitness inspired life. people in my waking life that just didnt "get it", or didnt get that their comments would work their way into my attitude towards myself.. and i dont blame anyone for saying anything and hurting my fragile little feelings.. it was just a wakeup call that i wasnt psychologically in the space i thought i was in. frankly, when i signed up here in the first place at christmas, it was after a bad romantic experience which took its toll on me. i was looking to fitness as the one place in my life i had some real control, and then a series of stupid events made me feel like i had lost all that control and i utterly gave up.. i mean, my bike pedal broke, so i stopped doing any cardio. how does that even make sense?

so i took the summer off and distanced myself from bad people and bad emotions. i worked on furthering my career. i did a bunch of home renovation stuff. and i kinda just watched the summer slip by. now the next semester at school looms and im realizing that i have some control in my life again. control over things that were always in my power. i have, in fact, succeeded in many ways. and now id like to get fit again

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I am the first follower! *fangirl moment*

 

So glad to see you back at it Pakku. I mean, Lord Pakku. Forgive me.

 

This place is better with you in it.

 

The pizza will cower in shame, as it is not worthy of your presence. And you will climb the mighty tree of broccoli and be its master.

 

And heck, yeah, we believe in you.

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