Eldgee and the Long Haul

[Eldgee]

Hi again! I've been in and out of here occasionally over the years and I tend to struggle with following through on stuff, but I really need to figure out how to get through that struggle for various reasons. 

1. I want to lose some weight. Today I weigh 176 lbs and my theoretical goal is 145, though I haven't seen that number in probably twenty years. Honestly I would be pretty happy, at least as a start, to see anything under 160. I started a Noom trial in the new year, but though I've stuck to the plan I think the calorie range is too high for me to actually lose any weight and I can't adjust it. I'm going to try a different tracker (Lose It app, which I love) and set a more realistic goal going forward. This is also why I'm here today! I do find that when I'm actively working on fitness goals, it really helps to have somewhere to check in.

2. I want to get much stronger and more physically capable for both fun and health reasons. I just turned 44 and am at risk for osteoporosis, plus I have kind of a bad knee, CFS, and probably EDS/POTS/MCAS. Basically, I feel really crappy all the time if I don't eat well, take supplements and stay in shape in terms of exercise, but I also have to be really careful when I do exercise because of the knee and the fact that a symptom of CFS is literally getting sick after exercise...basically, it's like anybody feels after overtraining, except that it's really, really easy for me to overtrain. So, one of the reasons it's important for me to get serious about maintaining my fitness is that it's much easier for me to maintain than it is to jump into and out of this stuff.

3. I want to establish a couple of other basic daily habits: taking those supplements twice a day, meditating for half an hour, and doing fifteen minutes of qigong. These practices also support my physical and mental health, and I feel much better when I'm doing them...plus, since I don't want to make any firm rules about more strenuous daily exercise, the qigong is sort of a minimal baseline for that, which should be ok even when I'm not feeling that great.

Positive stuff/strategies:

1. I eat paleo/primalish (rice and oats do work for me) already for the above-mentioned health reasons...again, I fall off of this more often than I'd like, but after a few days of that I start to feel really sick. The good news is that if I didn't have the health habits that I do, I would think of that sick feeling as normal – instead, when I do eat and exercise appropriately I feel pretty good most of the time (fingers crossed). I'm a good cook, and while I could stand to cut back on sweets significantly, I generally enjoy the healthy food I eat at home!

 

2. I've finally been making some progress with exercise I feel good about. I've never been a strong enough biker to really ride much in the hilly terrain near my home, but last spring I got an ebike, which was a total game changer. I went on rides at least a couple of times a week until it got cold, then got kind of sluggish for the winter. A month or so ago I decided to try a climbing gym membership, which I'd been thinking about for a while and is going great so far – I've enjoyed doing that at least once a week, and have been shifting toward going twice. My goals for this year include going on a bike camping trip, and expanding my ability to climb different/harder walls at the gym. It's weird, but the advice people give about finding something you actually like to do is really helping!

I also have a pretty serious history with yoga, which I might try to get back into when biking and climbing don't make sense, and I want to develop and basic routine of a few TRX squat- and lunge-type things to do along with a little plank on days I won't be doing a different workout (hoping this will help build strength in my knee, for one thing, which I do worry about a little with the climbing and biking). I also recently got a silly fitness device which is a platform that you put your phone in, do a plank on, and play phone games by twisting in different directions, which I want to experiment more with.

3. Posting/engaging/tracking here, hopefully?

 

[Eldgee]

Easing into things today. I figured I should also get some measurements so I can tell if I'm building muscle if not actually losing weight...31.5 waist and 41 hips. I also got and set up a fitness watch I had ordered, and did some menu planning – I'm thinking this will work best if I mostly stick to a routine breakfast and lunch: coffee with oat milk, a yogurt, fruit and nut bowl, and a green salad with an egg and a few plantain chips. That leaves most of my calories for some kind of rice/veg/protein dinner, so I can be more flexible about what I'm eating then. 

I'm also finishing up a semi-vacation week, so tomorrow my plan is to get back to a bunch of habits at the same time, including the meditation and qigong. Fingers crossed!

[Eldgee]

Yesterday was supposed to be my day one, and despite sleeping really badly I started out strong – did my qigong, took my supplements, ate my healthy preplanned breakfast and lunch and got in 4000 steps. Then, for my daughter's birthday, we went out for dinner and I ate a huge amount of things that were generally unhealthy and also that I have mild intolerances to. After that combined with the lack of sleep, I also failed to do any meditation. 

I have mixed feelings about all that. In one sense, it was a terrible day to try to start, but also I'm really feeling the way that it's always going to be something. Last week it was my birthday, this weekend will be daughter's party, next weekend my parents will be coming to visit, etc. There might be weeks when nothing exceptional like that happens, but probably not very many months! So, I'm not feeling too bad about yesterday, but I am hoping that as soon as this weekend I'll feel more motivated by the fact that I have some progress to lose if I don't continue to follow through. I did also notice that while I couldn't quite bring myself to make many healthy choices at the restaurant, I did decide to turn down soda refills and share my dessert...so I'm liking that I didn't totally decide to throw those smart choices out the window just because I felt like quite a few regrettable choices were also happening. 

This morning I feel kind of crappy physically and I'm back up to 177, the heaviest I've been while not pregnant...but I did get a decent night of sleep, and I'm trying day one again. 

[Elastigirl]

Sounds to me like you made some good choices at the restaurant. I really try and focus on the  other 80% of the time, and eating what makes me feel good then. And then for those other times,  I just try and do like you did, giving myself more leeway but also making some better choices.

[Eldgee]

23 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

Sounds to me like you made some good choices at the restaurant. I really try and focus on the  other 80% of the time, and eating what makes me feel good then. And then for those other times,  I just try and do like you did, giving myself more leeway but also making some better choices.

Yes! I believe in this but am usually not too great at moderation, and with all the choices I made the other day it was a bit hard to see the positive ones...but they were there and I'm trying to appreciate them in any amount. 

[Eldgee]

Yesterday I managed to follow through on my goals. I did qigong, took supplements, and ate all my planned meals including a kind of Asian barbecued chicken and green beans I've been really into making recently. I even did fifteen minutes of meditation, though I want to ramp that time up quickly.

My weight was down two pounds this morning, so I guess that's my bonus for actually getting started! For this weekend I want to decide ahead of time whether I want to adjust my goals around the party and other stuff that's happening (actually, there's also a party at my work tomorrow), so that I have a better chance of sticking to whatever I decide. 

[Eldgee]

I navigated party #1 of the weekend with some pre-planning...didn't eat too much, but I did eat a piece of cake, which was predictable. Diet-wise I feel ok about that choice, but part of the issue is that I'm moderately intolerant to both gluten and corn, which in some combination are in absolutely every standard processed food...so I don't feel great physically, but I like that I followed through on my plan. That also means I was able to make one of my favorite dinners – tteokbokki (Korean rice cakes), which are pretty calorie-dense – and it looks like I should even be able to have some chocolate as a climbing snack tonight.

 

Also took my supplements, walked around a lot at the party, and am planning a climbing snack because I'm about to head to the gym. It's a bit tempting to skip that because my daughter hasn't been so into it recently and I partly got started as a fun thing to do with her, but I think I have the motivation to go anyway. I'm hoping I'll also have the motivation to do a bit of qigong and my meditation tonight (missed meditation after a long day yesterday), but it's not too late so I feel like my prospects are pretty good.

[Eldgee]

I did do my qigong yesterday and today, as well a 24-minute meditation last night (which actually felt great, and I'm hoping to remember that in the future when I want to procrastinate). 

Climbing was ok; it wasn't as much fun by myself but on the plus side I was only at the gym for about twenty minutes and I spent pretty much that whole time climbing. I did all of the level VB and V0 boulder routes and managed one V1 (which I think I may have properly completed for the first time). I was a little worried when I got started that I would never be able to do any more than the real basics, but a month or so in and I already feel like I'm building significantly more skills. I still look at some of the harder routes and wonder how anybody could even consider them, but who knows?

Also made it through the birthday party today ok. I ate some unexpected chips but did successfully avoid the cake and ice cream with corn in them, and after finishing yesterday's leftovers for dinner I'm done with everything and only about 150 calories over my budget – which I'm happy to take for a day like today. I'm pretty tired now, but all I really need to do is pack lunches for tomorrow and get my meditation in, so that should be doable. 

Oh! And this is the end of my first week using my fitness tracker (Halo Band). My idea was to try to meet the suggested goal of 150 "activity points," which was much easier than I expected. I hit that number yesterday, despite missing a whole day of tracking and only doing two shortish actual exercise sessions, so it's possible that goal needs to be adjusted.

[Eldgee]

qigong: short

steps: significant

other exercise:
meditation:
supplements: yes

food: healthy meals, bag of less-bad candy

Yesterday I worked all day and then participated in a challenging family therapy situation, while also feeling hormonal. I did well about my habits almost all day, then ate a bag of candy at night and skipped meditation. I was...somewhat conscious about the candy. It was a non-allergenic alternative I had bought, though I had planned to eat it over the course of a week or more. I did think while I was eating it that I would probably eat the whole bag and that wouldn't be the end of the world...and it wasn't, but now I'm trying to figure out what I want to do. I know the standard advice is not to worry about it and just to go back to my plan today, but I still have the same goals and really want to see some encouraging signs of weight loss soon to maintain motivation, so I'm thinking I might intermittent fast a bit/set my calories to 1300 for the next couple of easy days.

Meditation has felt good recently, but I've tended to skip it if I feel overtired or sick, which again seems like not the end of the world but complicated because I often feel overtired and/or sick and I tend to feel more bad more often when I'm not generally keeping up with healthy habits most of the time. Today I have a day off, so it should be easy enough to do a full-length qigong session, meditation, and maybe even figure out a short at-home workout for days I'm not doing something more adventurous. 

[Eldgee]

Posted earlier about yesterday, today was like: 
 

qigong: 10 min

steps: few (home all day)

other exercise:
meditation: 30 min
supplements: yes

food: yogurt and fruit, spicy tofu and noodles, dairy-free ice cream bar

I did not, in the end, cut extra food out after yesterday, but I did hit all my minimum goals for today.

[Elastigirl]

You are doing great.

On the meditation, one thing that helps me when I keep putting it off because I'm tired is to just do a short time (5 minutes or less) That way I'm setting the habit of doing it, even if it's not the whole time.

[Eldgee]

qigong: 10 min

steps: many (at work)

other exercise: 5 mile bike ride
meditation: 30 min
supplements: yes

food: fruit and yogurt, chips, chicken sandwich, non-dairy ice cream bar, boba drink

It was a beautiful day here and I got some new barefoot sneakers (in the process of replacing all my shoes because I really feel like these are helping my foot/knee alignment) so I went for my second bike ride of the year (and remembered to adjust the seat to be taller, which I think is also good for my knee issue), to buy a chicken sandwich. Maybe my tracker is learning things about me, but for some reason it's not feeling as ridiculously easy to hit my activity point goal this week. Nonetheless, I feel good and am pleased to have enough extra calorie-space for that boba drink!

 

[Eldgee]

22 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

You are doing great.

On the meditation, one thing that helps me when I keep putting it off because I'm tired is to just do a short time (5 minutes or less) That way I'm setting the habit of doing it, even if it's not the whole time.

I totally think you're right, I should try harder to do this when I start to feel I'm not going to be able to meet my usual goals.

[Elastigirl]

1 hour ago, Eldgee said:

I totally think you're right, I should try harder to do this when I start to feel I'm not going to be able to meet my usual goals.

So,  I need to clarify my post. I don't actually meditate, I'm  trying to say that when I'm struggling with any goal, that one thing I do is to shorten the time frame. Which I meant that you could do that with meditation. Thought I explain so if you  want you to look for my meditation goal and wonder why I never talked about it.?

[Eldgee]

qigong: 10 min

steps: moderate

other exercise: climbing gym
meditation: 30 min
supplements: yes

food: yogurt and fruit, two non-dairy ice cream bars, air-fried shrimp, boba drink

boulder routes:

VB x 3 (all of them)
V0 x 4 (all of them)
v1 x2 (including one I've never done before)

It would have been good to get in more vegetables today – but it looks like it will be easy enough to make up for those extra calories from the other day, which is cool. 

Also, I put on some workout pants I bought a year or so ago for the gym, which were surprisingly snug when I bought them and absolutely fine today. I'm only down about three pounds so far, but maybe the fact that I've been climbing for a few months now has been having more of an effect than I thought.
 

[Elastigirl]

1 hour ago, Eldgee said:

Also, I put on some workout pants I bought a year or so ago for the gym, which were surprisingly snug when I bought them and absolutely fine today. I'm only down about three pounds so far, but maybe the fact that I've been climbing for a few months now has been having more of an effect than I thought.
 

Woot for losing inches and fitting better in your clothes! 

[Jackdaw]

Hey! These are great goals, good luck!

 

Qigong is a very interesting choice, how did you come across it? 

 

Congratulations about a weight loss! 

 

Ahh, I love boba drinks ! 

[Eldgee]

14 hours ago, XBlackWidowX said:

Qigong is a very interesting choice, how did you come across it? 

 
[...]

 

Ahh, I love boba drinks ! 

I've done a lot of different types of meditation, I like that qigong is kind of that and kind of exercise...and it's very gentle. When I've been sicker it's felt doable, and I also know that a lot of people find it helpful for chronic illness so I figured why not try? I've dabbled but never been very serious before, so I'm curious what the results will be if I stick with it for a while.

I don't know where you are, but if you have Trader Joe's they have really good instant boba drink packs that are one of my favorite easy treats.
 

[Eldgee]

qigong: minimum

steps: tons (work and errands)

other exercise: 
meditation: 30 min
supplements: yes

food: cheese and rice crackers, yogurt and fruit, cliff bar, cookies (not great, running around all day)

new low weight: 173.8

 

Finishing the week pretty strong, but my parents are coming to town (and taking us out to dinner) this weekend, so I'm trying to make a plan to be careful.

[Jackdaw]

22 hours ago, Eldgee said:

I've done a lot of different types of meditation, I like that qigong is kind of that and kind of exercise...and it's very gentle. When I've been sicker it's felt doable, and I also know that a lot of people find it helpful for chronic illness so I figured why not try? I've dabbled but never been very serious before, so I'm curious what the results will be if I stick with it for a while.

I don't know where you are, but if you have Trader Joe's they have really good instant boba drink packs that are one of my favorite easy treats.

Oh I see! Let us know about the results in some time.

 

I am in China, we have boba drinks everywhere

[Eldgee]

4 hours ago, XBlackWidowX said:

Oh I see! Let us know about the results in some time.

Will do! I'm taking a year-long online course currently, so hopefully I'll learn/practice a lot.

 

4 hours ago, XBlackWidowX said:

I am in China, we have boba drinks everywhere

Ah, that makes sense! They're a bit more challenging to get here, which is probably good news for my diet. I would also like to learn to make them from scratch, though.

[Eldgee]

This morning I came in five pounds under my starting weight, which is nice to see because it seems like proof that something more than random fluctuation is happening. 

After eating a really light breakfast and lunch, though, I did go out for dinner with my visiting family and decide not to track for the first time in a couple of weeks. The choices I made were...ok. Some of them definitely could have been worse (drank water, started with a salad), and the meal was still delicious and a nice break from overthinking everything. 

 

Walked around a lot this morning while cleaning up for the visit, but I'm also not very likely to hit my activity tracker goal for this week (a bike ride or a walk with the family this weekend would have been nice but the weather isn't that great, and I don't have time for the gym –  or even to do my qigong and meditation today). 

My main goal at the moment is not to let any of this throw me off track. Still hanging out with family tomorrow but we have a reasonable meal plan, which I should be able to log as usual, then I'm back to my regular schedule on Monday.

[Eldgee]

Woke up feeling sick with the sore throat one of my kids had a couple of days ago, but still had a pretty busy day because of the rare opportunity to visit with my family. 

Didn't quite hit my calorie goal after all, but after estimating what I ate yesterday it looks like I was still significantly under maintenance for the week, so I feel pretty good about that.  Also feel good about deciding to go for a walk while we were hanging out, because in the end I did hit my fitness tracker's goals for the week (which I probably wouldn't have otherwise). 

 

Didn't accomplish my other habits this weekend, but did load up on immune-boosting supplements today; I really need to go to work tomorrow, and I really hope I'm feeling better. I do have leftover food that I cooked today to take for lunch, so that should make tomorrow a bit easier. Excited to be going to bed early!

[Elastigirl]

Hope you get a good sleep and wake up feeling better.

 

[Eldgee]

qigong: minimum

steps: decent amount at work

other exercise: 
meditation: 
supplements: 

food: leftover fruit salad and vegetable pie, salmon vegetable curry, cliff bar

 

Still sick, but I made it through my longest work day, and luckily I have tomorrow off. Partner also isn't feeling great, so we got takeout for dinner and I found a good option that actually fit into my plan. 

 

Afterwards I did eat a dessert that put me a bit over, but I think it was just that kind of day. I've usually been feeling ok about my calorie goal, but I'm thinking that maybe I should allow (limited? unlimited?) exceptions where I just eat anywhere under my maintenance calories when I feel like it because at least I'm not making things harder for myself. 

For similar reasons I doubt if any more habits are getting done this evening, but hoping tomorrow will be easier and more productive.