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Completely get it! When I tried to sort through what I like I ended up with styles that are literally the completely opposites. Useless! 😄 One way to deal with it could be to simply try each style and apply it to your own work. Steal the color palettes that you like. See what you enjoy doing. Some art might be beautiful but less fun to do for you. For example there's some oil painters that I loooove, but let's be real - there's no way I'd ever be patient enough for that level of mastery, probably not even the medium, or in general spending weeks/months on a painting. If you're currently obsessed with Morimura, go for it! You can try and copy the work entirely to get a feel for what it's like, or you can use elements of his style that you enjoy in entirely unrelated images. He seems to mostly do landscapes, but if you don't fancy that you could try a bird pattern or adding a stag to make it your own and still be somewhat in your comfort zone. Or take his style but use someone else's color palette or entirely B&W if it's in colour or vv. I don't know exactly what you're looking for ( technical tips on how to make textures and/or patterns, or more the principles of pattern making like for textiles/packaging, general graphic design principles....?) but I found some stuff by adding in graphic design/illustration in the search term. Or perhaps search for Japanese art/illustration/design to get a different aesthetic. Guess a closer description would be like pulling taffy. 🤔 Either way yes, it's a descriptor. Sometimes it can really help changing the sensations in the body despite doing the same movement. E.g. lie on the floor like it's a spike mat vs melt into the floor. Shame, but if it's not working then it's the right call. Did you pick up any useful tools from her at least?

Sounds a bit like my brother-in-law's MO. He adores our kids, but they're just as much reminders to him on exactly why he doesn't want any of his own... 😅

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Oh no, how's your niece doing now? Will it affect her long term or can the disease be managed? I think context matters hugely. When I lived in Finland I had a 30 second walk from the beach. In summer I'd take a thermos with coffee and sit on a deckchair and read and chill and watch birds. A+ way to start the day! In winter.... not so much. "In theory" it should help to even get a tiny bit of light, but clearly he's never lived in a place that sometimes gets 2 sun hours in a month. There is no way the theoretical benefits outweigh the pure misery of getting out in the cold and dark. 😄 Caffeine is terrible for some, and for anyone suffering from e.g. anxiety it's worth cutting out as an experiment. But on a population level I don't believe there are any confirmed health implications. And I think for some people it legit works to boost performance, e.g. before a workout or if you need to focus. I think it can for very select people that lead extremely regular lives. Eat the same things, at the same times, sleep regularly, train the same way, don't have external stressors, probably single, almost certainly male, are able and healthy mentally and physically... Which rules out... pretty much everyone. 😄

I meditated yesterday but did little else except read. I started the mistborn trilogy some days ago, and am unfortunately nearly finished. It is very compelling, the way he reveals secrets about the world one by one. I am still sick--headaches every day--and cancelled a therapy session. In fact, I told the therapist I don't want to make any more appointments for now--that I feel burned out and am sick of trying so hard to get better. I thought somatic experiencing would be different but we just ended up talking, same as other talk therapy. I liked her a lot. But I didn't start therapy for nice chats, I started it to cure my fucking anxiety. Which I knew it would be incapable of doing, but the fatigue doctor and Mr Harriet persuaded me to try.

I'm glad you've at least got the financial security. I know that's a big part of me feeling safe. I think I feel what you mean about the person you want to be being out of reach. For me it's the energy and motivation that are unreliable. I don't like who I am when I'm crashed--lazy and unmotivated, uninterested and uninteresting. But I have tried and tried to force it, train it, discipline it, and it won't come. Gotta try something else. That sounds hard. Also different from my situation, though, because I never had much in the way of in-person communities due to being semi house bound. I've been fairly solitary since I was a teenager, though I do have my brother and husband, who are quite important to me not becoming a total hermit. Are you feeling down due to the loss of in-person stuff? Things changed for you, too, eh? I know things changed for me at the start of covid, but I don't think it was only the social aspect. I'd been pushing hard on the exercise for two years with pure fanaticism. And then I kind of collapsed and have never been able to work out as consistently since then. I thought there would be a break through, that I would get to a higher level of fitness that I could build on. But in retrospect it seems I was just taking out a high interest loan. Not a foundation to build on. Thank you, possum. It's lovely to have you here. Yesssss I had to look up mono printing, it sounds like it's unique prints where you use a variety of things. But I want to know more about lino! Do you use water or oil based inks? Is it super messy? Does it smell? I'm just wondering where I could do it, since I can't really go out to a workshop or studio. Ah, you understand how I think about it ❤️ Thank you ❤️ So, I just picked out a few pictures randomly. I don't need to go in exactly those directions. There are hundreds of pictures on my pinterest art inspiration page, and they're all amazing in different ways. Some are far better painters than me, some have amazing use of colour, others have mastered design and line and pattern... I don't know which way to go. But I've been feeling vaguely for a while that I don't necessarily want to improve my painting and drawing. I am drawn (at the moment) to pictures where relatively simple shapes are elevated by texture and pattern, such as in the morimura prints. So maybe I could pick that direction and work on it for a while. Design would help. Not sure where to study it. Every time I try to find classes for learning to make patterns I find sewing pattern making classes, which is not what I want. Okay, so juicy was a description, not a subcategory. Like juicy deadlifting is not a variation of deadlifting, it's just deadlifting that happens to be juicy. Whatever that means.

Hey Sal, I hope Bronze recovers soon. And I hope your Wednesday is starting out all right. Sooooo, the really important question. How do you feel about Tuchel coaching the England team?

I'd try a protocol by satan himself if it worked. Unfortunately, almost nothing I've tried so far from online health personalities *has* worked. Yeah he and others like him do present conclusions with a lot of confidence, from just a few papers. Or even from one paper. It would be fine if any of these worked to deal with our actual large problems. I haven't noticed that any of this hacking or optimization does help, though. I even went off caffeine for a good period--maybe a month or more, can't remember--and I just didn't feel anything except that decaf was disappointingly flat. All this theory about why caffeine is terrible and all these anecdotes about people changing their lives... it's the same damned thing over and over and over with a million different hacks or products or habits. I'm sure each of them worked for one person. I also felt nothing from getting sunlight first thing in the morning. Nothing from all the supplements (and there were many). Not that nothing I do has made any change--there are some things that help. They're just not so predictable via theory and published articles. So I guess... just try stuff?

Do you actually want this horse, even at a lower price? Is he a good horse? What makes a horse good at the foundational level, versus things that can be trained or fixed? Ooooh, pretty! She does look very cute with the patches.

You guys get emails? I stopped using the follow feature because it was inconsistent. Or, possibly, the error was mine.

You get a lot of freedom in how you can present data, and if you don't protect the pivot table, then the user also gets to play with the data by presenting it by different groupings. I do a lot of FOIs as part of my job and we'll get asked questions like how many x's did you employ where they x and x between x date and x date, and a pivot table is the only real way you can present all of these things at the same time in a cohesive manner.

Something just flew in my faaaaaace and I'm hoping to god it was just a rogue hair and not a bug of some kind ugh. sleep goal is causing more anxiety than it's currently fixing so I'm going to replace it with something else. to do list for Wednesday: pick a new goal, fill out and mail my goddamn ballot that I keep ignoring because anxietyyyyyyy.

I want to see trends, so I'm gonna test a weekly view. This might be too much effort, we'll see. Challenge week 1 M T W T F S S 30-60 min exercise ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ 30 Min walking ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ Hindu pushups ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ Hindu squats ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ Bridge ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ Jacket & tie ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ Smooth shave ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ Start timer ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ Magical workings ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ 30 Min vampire training ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ Co-working ⬤ Reflective practice ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ Midnight bedtime ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ 6-8 hours sleep ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ 20 min meditation ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ Interroception meditation ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ Therapy writing ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ Roygbiv Key ⬤ none ⬤ did something ⬤ did half ⬤ basic pass ⬤ strong pass ⬤ did extra Weekly targets: Co-working - 1 session Bodyweight - let's call 3 sessions a week a win this week. We'll work up to daily. Sure, let's do a running challenge average, too. That's relatively easy.

"You gotta see a guy about a horse?" Hahaha, I've always wanted to use that in proper context! Fingers crossed.

RAGE!

Sometimes you have to take risks

I love it when I'm right. It is a nasty beastie, but I have full confidence in your ability to best it, and shall be right here cheering you on the whole time! Let's go Level 14!

Well I had a busy morning. I got the kids off to school, dog walk, chores, walked on the treadmill for 30 mins incline of 6, then baked some banana bread and blueberry muffins for the family. Then I watched "vanderpump rules" all afternoon. Then came an episode of gay pride parade and I was appalled at how sexual it is, I found it absolutely disgusting, children watch that! So I decided not to watch it anymore, as a Christian I shouldn't be watching stuff like that. Instead I'm going to take time for other hobbies. I love coloring and word searches. I was also told about diamond dotting that I'm going to try. I'm reading 3 different Christian books, including the Bible as well as Christian Journaling. I just want to clean up my life more and be a better Christian. I probably won't be watching much TV anymore, which is fine. I'm going to clean more too. In conjunction with cleaning up my life, I have a goal to be off all my medication one day. I am taking a half dose of my antidepressant and 5mg less of olanzopene. I'm building my faith and believe I am healed and don't need medication anymore. I have changed my thinking habits and am happier for it. I was still depressed and filled with anxiety a few months ago so my meds didn't work 100%. Since building my faith and through prayer, God has gotten rid of those things. So now onto diet and exercise. I have changed what I am doing the last 2 days. I have stopped pacing altogether, walk 30 mins instead of 20 on my treadmill and I'm eating 1000-1200 cals. I'm not even hungry since I'm not working out much. I stopped doing weights cuz it's so boring. I stopped doing interval training as well for a personal reason that made it uncomfortable. I'm now concentrating on losing weight quickly so become a sexy trophie wife. I'm going to start weighing everyday as well.

Monday October 21 and Tuesday October 22 Review Take three breaths✔️✔️ Take a step back from the mirror and look at myself. Make silly faces. ✔️✔️ Do ten minutes of strength training. ✔️ ✔️ Reduce screen time by one hour. It's just a distraction.✔️✔️ Remember to look up and around when I’m walking instead of looking down. ✔️✔️ Practice oral hygiene and skin care every evening. ✔️✔️ Reflect on something good that happened that day. ✔️ ✔️ I really kicked butt with strength training, doing 2 sets of upper body exercises. I was really pissed off after a stressful weekend with my nephews, so I lifted heavier weights than usual. I think we are finding the secret to my strength is rage. LOL. Today I did some core exercises, which really helped a lot too, but I was less angry today And the boys were just....not bad, but careless and thoughtless. I had to reel them both in at different points for different things, and they apologized sincerely, and I accepted it and we're good. But I have trouble not being pissed off afterwards and lifting heavier weights helped a lot. Good things that happened: Monday- Mom and I went for a walk in the evening. It was really nice out. I am really loving our evenings walks. Also I had an amazing workout Tuesday- I organized my drawers and my closet! I moved things around. Some things are going to work really well, and others need to be tweaked a bit. But I'm really happy because I didn't think about how it should be, but what would work for me. That's a big deal for me. I'm glad we're online again. I'm looking forward to reading everyone's updates. Screen time is a little better, but I'll probably wreck that in a minute Screen time is down, mostly because Nerd Fitness was down so I'll be curious what the rest of the week is like now that we're back up. It's going to shoot up in a minute because I'm about to read some updates from y'all!

Attempted to add raindrops. Attempt failed, painting ruined. It's ok, I wasn't all that happy with the mountain anyway.

Yeah that was a bonus feature I didn’t know we were getting. I like it though. Things seem super active when you see people in a thread. What does everyone else think of this? Keep it and out ourselves for the thread stalkers we really are? Remove it? (There’s probably a user specific setting to disable it too)

I like that you can see what threads other people are on and if anyone is typing in the thread you're currently reading, but it makes me worry that I've just been a closet stalker this whole time.

No excuse is ever needed, you can use it just 'cause you wanted to. Winging it with alliteration - I think you mean winning it! (It's late, I'm tired, I apologize.) I'll see myself out now, but before I saunter upstairs and stretch out in bed, I am supporting your challenge!

It sounds like you did an excellent job of holding to your goals in the midst of not great circumstances. Well done.