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Oof, slept for ten hours, had some very vivid dreams and woke up feeling like hell on toast.

+ Thanks! Though unfortunately it didn't help much as it turns out there are 100s of boring insects. Oh well, at least it's pretty. (I'm not concerned about an infestation as there are loads of beautiful, healthy trees in the area.) It really would! My head canon is that the frog was cosplaying as a crocodile.

I got curious because I remembered that you were trying out different options not that long ago. Is this the best one or do you circulate between different "alt" beverages?

If you know that it's something you really want to pursue I'd highly recommend the Handstand Factory guides. (One of the founders is actually my first handstand teacher! Though disappointingly I only had him for about 2 months before he left for a tour.) They are excellent, highly detailed and contain programming for at least 9-12 months, some even for years. But they are rather pricey so I wouldn't recommend them unless it's something you one day want to commit to and/or really nerd out about. They've shared quite a few snippets as IG reels/YT shorts and those are free and worth trawling through. For free semi-follow along videos I'd recommend Tom Merrick's YT channel. I don't know exactly what he has but his content is generally excellent and I'm sure he has beginner's guides. I'm sure there are plenty of others but I haven't looked anything up for a long time. With handstands you don't need many exercises, you just need to put in the time. That's why I don't recommend buying stuff until you know you like it, it's not for everyone. Once you get comfortable with bailing out you don't need lots of room. I always bail the same way and need the space of say, two yoga mats next to each other. But of course it's really nice to have more space while you're learning to bail so you don't have to worry about crashing into things. Not having a wall space is actually more of a problem. The wall is a super useful tool and many, many drills, even at a more advanced level, use it. People do learn without doing those drills, but I have to say that the process will be much, much more effective if you're able to do wall drills. It just allows you to separate out balance, conditioning and kick-up practice into their own components and give you much more time actually on your hands.

Alas it's a common logical fallacy that we are immune to logical fallacies simply because we know about them. I really hope you'll find a way out soon. This is no way to live. Delightful!

That's true! You could almost call world-wide "basic pricing psychology", but Germany and Belgium - Germany more than Belgium - have far more stable low pricing strategies on more of the basic, everyday foods that people use, which is why a lot of people closer to the borders do their groceries there, rather at their local supermarkets. And what "most people use everyday" here are often quite healthy stuff too with is cool. So apparently it's possible to have low pricing strategies - I don't know if supermarkets get government subsidies to make this possible. (Although I do read now that some chains have gotten subsidies for employee training problems, but looking at some companies, lowering costs for the company do not automatically mean that the left-over turnover will be spent for more durable, beneficial strategies for consumers ) One supermarket tried to copy that strategy from across the border but people still went to the other supermarkets that have wild deals - predictable, maybe, but a tiny little disappointing and sad given how much Dutch people brag they are grounded and clear-headed as a "nation", and less susceptible to flashy psychological tricks, supposedly *** Update I'm at my mother's, now that she and my sister are on vacation. Right on time, because I was getting close to a breaking point this week - my MIL was starting to cross some lines that make it simply viscerally impossible for me to keep my cool. (Like taking stuff out of my hands, with the added yummy stimulation of hands still wet from washing the dishes, because she wants to do something herself. I could have smacked her right then and there.) So the breathing room is perfect. It's nice having a place to myself, but it feels more like a hotel room than a home space, with the added bonus of some "lovely memories" attached to tons of the spaces. It's rather unfortunate I do not have the budget anymore for spontaneous actual hotel visits, but ah, some people have no running water right, on top of living with toxic family members probably I am keeping up with getting my steps in, and allowed myself some major slack with regards to following my IBS regimen because every corner of the kitchen is STUFFED with sweets and snacks. And because I am who I am, of course that triggers a bunch of thoughts in no seeming order or relevance to what I need to do now, but I have time and space to rant so I will let it go for a bit: Last night (right on the dot of the last moment I could go before closing time ) I walked to the supermarket in some lovely Summer rain and got some freggies, and almond milk, and some lactose-free milk for the coffee machine because it roasts my almond milk when I want a cappuccino, and I do not like how it turns out I'm putting healthy snacks in the cabinets to give myself a fighting chance, and keeping busy. Enough to do, both around the house, for my projects, and in the area! There is a "concert week" locally which I'm fairly excited about. And I might go to a concert with a childhood friend on Tuesday!

Happy birthday winney. Looks like she got lots pf presents

That is a great froggy picture! wow! and the pond got so full of plants! amazing!!

Today is Winnie's 3rd birthday so we spent the first part of today doing fun things. Last I checked I got 7k+ steps. We went for a walk and explored on the beach. Got an icecream. Visited 2 of her favourite people. Got lots of snacks. And this evening we had a friends birthday. I likely went over in calories. It wasn't actual dinner but a bunch of finger foods. It was tasty but my tummy is asking why. I hope everyone had a great day!

Thanks Ensi. I'm really excited to do more drawing!

I decided I needed a day at home today. Probably not leaving the house tomorrow either. I think I'm coming down with a cold. While floating in the haze between sleep and wake, my mind started chewing on how to artistically depect intersectionality. My first notion was different threads of identity weaving together to form a person, but I don't know that oils would be the right medium for that, and I think it might look kind of horrific. Good news! My original idea for this is as bad as I thought it would be! I have an idea for what else to do with it after it dries. Equal odds of decent and noghtmare fule. Then I started thinking clouds of color merging and fill up more of a silhouette. Now I'm wondering if it would be appropriate to represent an identity that isn't my own. Original thought was black woman mother. Did it based on my self. There are a few more iterations that I want to try, and I'm wondering if this is something people would be interested in commissioning me for. I also worked on the portrait some more. I think I'm finally done with it. Dropping a gif of the progress photos in the spoiler.

ATK Pastitsio; Braised Eggplant with Paprika, Coriander, and Yogurt; and Broiled Tomatoes with Goat Cheese and Breadcrumbs

The last week has been one of those where i meant to rest and stuff kept happening and well, not the awesomest for energy, but some weeks are like that. Helped a friend move in the middle of it, which was a mahoosive energy sink, but very worthwhile. weather has been so bad, so didnt get out much as its been oscillating between 3 of my least favourite weather types. Sort of raining, chilly but sticky and sauna. there is apparently no good option on the wheel of fortune this week. Due to everyone in the house claiming it is not as bad as i think it is. Here is my sketch from last week. I thi k i need another colour in the mix to give the style more depth. Maybe a blue or brown or sunburst moss orange. this is also exactly the opposite style of my default but hopefully will help get me to be less perfectionist about the sketchyness and try to draw less photographically for landscapes. the grass came out well, especially the grass on the left which i did last. . I like the rock on the right and the water. deck brewing continues. Trying to relearn how it all goes together after 20+ yrs, but its diverting. Sleep could be going better. Keep stressing about things. next week is buisy and i need to rem sleep

Ahh, no. Now ypu are making it sound so useful and time saving

All great plans! I like that you're taking into account mental energy and loads, too, in your planning - it results in a much more sustainable approach.

O captain, my captain. Also, So I got up and went to Mom’s house again. It was just Emily and me for a couple hours, going through small boxes, documents, and cleaning the kitchen (which was a wreck of ginormous proportions). While we worked, we talked, as one does, and she told me that her mother absolutely hates her, too, in an active way, and that she understood where I was, emotionally. She said that it really helped that I believe her (I do) and that also I am able to understand that other people have a different experience of my mom than I have had. Some of the documents ended up opening stories of the past, and one of the things I got to say was that Mom slowed down as she aged, and that it’s easier to understand as a Cat 5 hurricane becoming a Cat 3. There is no sense to try to compare them: they are both life-changing storms, but the details are totally different, and also, I was never angry at Mom until after I found peace; I was too busy being heartbroken, and then hurt that it was happening again, yet again and feeling betrayed as well as heartbroken. In the end I realized I could no more stop or change Mom’s behavior than I could argue with or feel betrayed by the sunrise; I didn’t feel angry, but I did feel powerfully sunburned. We talked jobs and the state of pay in our fair town and how everything seems tragically underpaid while also requiring a mountain of meaningless certifications. I laughed so hard, because the tech industry has taken another credentialing turn, and I told her so. It seems that we have to get a certification each year just to keep the jobs we already have and that when that job ends, all the certifications are suddenly out of date or in the wrong thing. “And don’t even get me started on academia,” I said. I told her how much a professor makes at the local community college per class and she was stunned. She said “They should get that per student!” I agreed. She said that it was a real shame because she thinks I’d make a really good professor, which meant a lot coming from her, and I said so. I continued washing dishes while I thought about what she had told me about her employment journey so far, and how she was feeling like a quitter for wanting to stop the hairdressing school journey she’s on, and then I said, “If you still have 300 hours of hairdressing school, and want to quit, why not sign up for 200 hours of yoga instructor certification? Usually it’s still rent-a-space at the studio, but then you get the whole fee of each student, and no one yells at you that you ruined their har when they are done. And it’s a dozen or so at one time in the class that’s an hour or so long, instead of standing there doing hair for 12 people in one day.” She said that’s a really good idea, and I could see that she was hinting about it. She and her daughter used to do yoga together before her son was born, and Emily is really good at it, but even more so, she seems to get how the pose is less important than the breath. I know lifelong instructors who have never seemed to really understand that part. I also told her about signing up for Rover, the dogsitting app, and how it made all the difference in my life back in 2018 and 2019. Some reinforcements showed up and they weren’t really able to help, and so they went on a lunch run, as one does. Emily and I continued to sort the small fragile things, and I made some single-serve Mac and cheese for Maddox. I realized I hadn’t eaten properly since beef stroganoff and cards with Geo on Thursday afternoon, and that was far too long. I had some crackers and cranberries on the drive home yesterday, but nothing after that. Also, I was powerfully tired and wearing out from all the physical movement. I said it was time for me to go, and it really was, even though so much still needs to be put in boxes. Most of it is dealt with, but the trailer to load the boxes onto still hadn’t arrived and I felt like I was bailing, Emily and I hugged, and I drove through a massive downpour on the way, and watched the nearby creek roiling at the top of its bank. I was definitely glad to be on my way home. Back at the Loft, I made myself cook. Besides not having eaten, I had a bone-in ham steak and a chicken breast in the fridge that needed using. I knew that if I stopped and sat down that I likely wouldn’t move again until after dark, or possibly tomorrow morning, so I got out the large skillet and the perpetual soup pot and put butter in both of them over medium heat. I sliced up an onion and put most of it in the soup pot, the rest in the skillet. I diced garlic and added it to the skillet with a few chopped basil leaves from this week’s farm share. I cubed the chicken breast and added it to the skillet, then cut up the ham and added it to the soup pot. I squeezed half a lemon over the chicken and dusted it with freshly ground black pepper. I added a cup of navy beans to the ham, and it didn’t look like enough, so I added another third of a cup of beans and covered the whole mess with 6 cups of broth and water. I turned the soup pot heat to high and checked the chicken, which was nearly cooked, and fetched a bag of diced veggies that I had put together in a ziplock bag in the freezer, adding them to the skillet and turning the heat up on them, too. While they did their thing I tore up some lettuce and kale leaves and chopped a carrot and put them in a bowl. I added a few cranberries and croutons, and it was all starting to look like a real meal and smelled pretty good too. The stir fry needed just a quick bit of stirring, and then it was done, just as the soup pot came to a boil. I turned the heat on the soup down and set half the stir fry in a container. I microwaved some long grain brown rice and added half of that to the container, then put the other half in a dish and covered it with the last half of the stir fry. It was pretty good, too. I am glad I ate. I’m pretty certain that I’m going to start an episode and will likely fall asleep by the time it’s over. I am very grateful to my body. It’s not that many challenges ago that this level of either driving or movement would have wrecked me, and today I am very tired and worn out, but I am still okay-enough. Good food and good rest are the order of the rest of the day.

I'm glad to be moving on to this part! That is great to hear, thank you! So, what resources would you recommend?? I think GMB has a detailed guide, and I also bought the NF handstands and muscle-ups course at some point - I need to check my login details. Safety-wise, I think I just get stressed about lack of space (floor and wall) in our house - I don't have much room to bail out. But the gym has a nice open area I could use! Eek, I'm not sure everything released into the world is viable . I was also never properly introduced into society as a debutante . But I agree, I'm probably past the MVP stage and now working on feature expansions (Alanna v12.0.0 release, now with muscle-ups - muscle-ups would definite be a major version bump). Ah yes, I should have said pointlessly and unproductively time consuming. It made me groan . Do we need a Kanban version of challenges for people who need more flexibility and less overhead?? -------- Week 4, Saturday Strength Deadlifts (82.5 kg x 5 x 3)! Also high bar squats (65 kg x 5 x 3), some neutral grip chin-ups (5, 4, 4), dip negatives (5 x 3), and some accessories. I filmed my high bar squats for the first time since heading back to the gym, and I’m actually doing a decent job of resisting the impulse to let my hips shoot up - there is a slight shift backwards in my later reps, but I’m nowhere near good morning-ing the weight. My legs (i.e., the non-posterior parts - like my quads) are definitely still my weak point, though, despite all the unilateral squat work I’ve been doing. For now I’m happy to carry on with the linear progression, and simply increasing the weight and getting stronger is already making my old working weights (now warm-ups) feel much smoother. However, I want to nip the leg weakness in the bud, and quad strength will help my pistol squats too. Since I don't have the equipment for belt squats yet, I tried out my gym’s hack squat machine for some supplementary work after confirming that it’s one of Juggernaut Strength Training’s recommendations for weak legs: Oh my quads, I think that will do the trick - even the base weight (~47 kg) is intense! (3/2 rucking, 3/2 strength training) Kindness I didn’t sew anything today because I wanted to do some prep work for Sunday’s sewing workshop - e.g., looking up different types of pleats that can be used in skirts and watching videos of how skirts are constructed so I know the basic order. I also spent my Vinted credit on a new plum/berry-coloured casual dress (fit and flare, as always) - it arrived today and is super soft and flattering! It’s a bit different than any style I’ve worn before, but I’m glad I took the risk. My wardrobe is now in a decent place, esp. with the jeans and bra additions from this week, but there are a couple of staple elements I’ll continue keeping an eye out for - and hopefully my sewing experiments go well, too. (6/4) Learning: Took a break today to focus on lifting and sewing investigations. (4/2)

Yay! I'm glad it went well. I love a good rain run. Plus, half-M and a long bike ride must be good marathon training.

Wow, that's awesome that you have a hobby that you've been able to enjoy for so long! Are there lots of nice routes where you live? Only the "don't fall over" type at this point (learning how to stop, turn, etc.) - I was following a course created by Asha at Skatefresh (https://skatefresh.com/). I used to live near a small skate park (just a decent-sized flat paved area with a couple of small ramps that I didn't touch), but haven't found a good place to practice since we moved - as a beginner I struggle skating on UK roads since they're purposely made rough for traction. We also have a dog now, which takes up a lot of my cardio time and energy budget!

All the feathers! The coral banded shrimp are pretty cute! Like lil forbidden candy canes. That is a lovely metaphor. I'd love to see an illustration of everyone's threads as rock pools

Yes, thanks, it was! In the end, the weather sailed the middle course between too dry and too wet - refreshing rain, not miserable rain. I rode my bike there and got wet to start with, and there were intermittent showers throughout but not enough that the ground got seriously slippery, and I was working too hard to get cold. At one point when I was overheated a grabbed a branch of a laurel* tree and rubbed the wet leaves in my face to cool myself down. All the cycling definitely didn't help my legs, but it was a very hilly course so I think I'd have had to walk a fair bit of it anyway. Lots of soul-crushing uphills followed by exciting hurtles downhill, and despite the wet, uneven ground, tree cover and rain-blurred specs I managed not to fall on my face even once. The course went through woods and fields and through a couple of small villages. It was rural Oxfordshire though so there was the ever-present menace of running into Boris Johnson. Luckily, that worst-case scenario did not arise. Afterwards I changed into a dry t-shirt which then immediately got rained on again, but luckily the sun came out while I was eating lunch, so by the time I got in the train my top half was dry again. Cycled back from Paddington station at a snail's pace and am now at the "why do i do this to myself?" stage. *burnishing my nerd credentials by being able to name trees at will.

Okay, that made me laugh...

That frog photo would make an awesome puzzle. Thr tree pattern looks like a "gallery" made by an emerald ash borer or some other boring insect...wait, that came out wrong. They make tunnels under the bark that are exposed when the bark is removed. ETA: Scaly beat me to the post button lol

Only if they are very poorly written/played. And if you're looking for an example of a well-written paladin, I recommend starting with this guy: