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One PvP to rule them All - Darebee's Daily Dare, LOTR Edition!
Rhovaniel replied to Rhovaniel's topic in PVP Challenges
You are all amazing and killing it! I have 1 dare with no EC to add (tree pose day) and 1 modified (push ups). I forgot to mention, but I'm on holiday with limited internet. As of tomorrow, probably none. I was marshalling the ultra running event that @jonfirestarcrushed on Friday and yesterday, so I'm tired and probably won't do the daily dares again till I'm back on Thursday. But I haven't forgotten about you all! - Today
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what would john cena do Deffy Chills the Duck Out (Deffy #52)
deftona replied to deftona's topic in Rangers
Saturday Update I got up early and got as much work done as I could do without my work laptop. Which wasn't all that much. I did manage to get the broken charging pin out and we ordered a new charger which has now arrived and here I am updating from it, I am very happy it works again I decided to buy a new phone. I am not completely sure why because I don't like replacing stuff unless it's truly broken and despite struggling a little for storage my phone is actually ok but this time I just really freaking wanted one. We also haven't done much fun stuff recently so we were going to go to a nearby city. To kill two birds with one stone I tried to find somewhere fun where they had the phone I wanted in stock so I could pick that up too but nowhere exciting had it in stock, it appears this phone is like gold dust. I did find it in a semi-ish local town which is a bit of a ballache to get to on public transport but I know whenever we go out TH always wants to go for a pint and I am not a mug, if I take my car I know I will be driving him around the pubs. I left the car at home so we could drink together and we got bus and tram passes instead. We went to a semi local town to pick up the tram, and this semi local town also happens to have the best fish and chip shop in the West Midlands and TH had never been there. It also has a pretty famous market so I showed him all the sights and sounds of Town 1, including the depressing shell of a rock club I used to frequent every Friday night when I was ages 14-17 (when I used to tell my mom I was staying at my friends house and not getting ratarsed with my much older, much cooler friends hehehe). It's closed down now but it was always a bit of a dive, that's why I loved it so much. We picked up the tram and went to Town 2 which I had actually never been to before but this is where my phone was in stock. I actually really loved it, it was great for shopping. We picked up the phone and I tried to buy some wrap dresses but when I tried them on if I got them to fit me around the waist my boobs spilled out all over the top which wasn't quite the look I was going for. Needless to say I didn't buy them which disappointed TH when I told him why. We then moved on to Town 3 which is where one of our favourite rock pubs are, and a really good pie shop. We had some beers and pie, and then walked down to the rock pub but it was being refurbed. We went on to Town 4 which was our route home, bought a new diamond coated wok (wtf) and walked back home via the abandoned railway lines where luckily we did not get murdered. When we got home I played around with my new phone and we watched a Glasto set. I'm not feeling that great and it's probably because I am eating like a complete and utter wasteman. I feel like I am withering from the inside out which is little surprise when I try to think back to the last time I ate a fucking vegetable. I did wake up this morning thinking I would do a workout today but I just ran upstairs to the loo and almost choked to death so being sensible I have decided to not do this. Nourish Omg no. I made us Crunchy Nut Cornflakes to eat in bed and we obviously had to try that amazing chippie but we just got a small cone to share between us. Lunch was pie and yet more chips and I had ice cream for dinner. I feel like on the one hand I am living my best life, but on the other hand I feel like I am rotting from the inside out. Today will be better. Relate Yes, we both woke up really early but when we decided to go out we realised we were too tired to do that so we related, then napped, then ate Crunchy Nut Cornflakes and we were raring to go. -
Saturday w3d7 Cook - breakfast, lunch Walk - to dinner Reach Out - spending time with an old friend who's visiting for a day on a road trip Grateful Wins - old friends to hang out with - editing 4 articles and outlining for over an hour!!!
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*fireworks* *explosions* *cheering squads* Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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At first it was difficult and kept postponing, discarding each word chosen. I felt a bit disconnected when working, and while I put my real self in it, it was not fully felt. That makes me slightly disappointed of the process, and less proud of the result. As if I were lying, while I was not. Does what I'm writing make any sense? To be fair, it's also a feeling I have regardless the challenge, as if I was living a lie. Yet I'm not. I did it at dinner on Thursday on my phone instead. Fast> Fast is how this world runs. Fast is the pace of my life. Fast is how I eat, drink, sleep. Stop. Breathe. Start again. Change the outlook, Slow down to go fast. Savour. Lister, no! Really! Listen! Listen to the people around. The background noise of this restaurant, The sweet taste of the food, The bright light of the sun, It is all in this now. All world stops second after second in a connection that you can perceive The phone buzzes, And all is fast again.
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I feel a bit in a rut with many things: work, love life, health, faith. I'm going through a huge amount of stress, so part of that is ok. At the same time I struggle in recognising myself.
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Seriously, barely 5 million is a Podunk city? My town barely has 30.000 people and while we don't have a Starbucks we certainly have plenty of kettlebells
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Fri-Sat 1) Eat breakfast: with proteins in it - ?/yes 2) Eat lunch at 1ish even at weekends - yes! Both at work and while painting my house 3) Eat dinner: with proteins and/or veggies and/or fruit - no (had pizza with sweet potatoes)/no (skipped dinner as I was too tired and not hungry) 4) Sleep more - no/no 5) Do less (say no, take your time) - I said no to some things because I was wrecked.
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This goddamn cat will be the death of me. Since I talked to the vet I've been a ball of anxiety and I don't think it's going to stop until he's had the procedure and we've gotten him back. I feel awful about having to leave him there. I'm anxious about the entire setup in general. (They only take cats in on Mondays for this procedure; what if they can't take him for a few weeks? What if there's a ton of traffic when we have to take him in? What if we can't visit him? What if we can, because this place is such a pain in the ass that it's going to be ridiculous to go every day just to pet him for like 10 minutes, but if we're allowed to and I don't then I'll feel even worse. What if we pick him up and he hates us? Will I survive a half hour of mournful meowing each way?) My brother is feeding my anxiety and general bad feelings because he keeps talking about how sad it is to have to leave him for 3 weeks, so that doesn't help. On top of all this, even though he otherwise got a clean bill of health from the vet I'm still getting upset when he begs for food because what if it means something's wrong? (We have a food bowl for each cat even though they don't care whose is whose. My brother keeps them topped up with food so it's not like he has no access to anything if he's actually hungry.) On top of all this, I'm getting increasingly pissed off at my father and brother and I think it's contributing to more anxiety about the logistics of all this. I told them both to look at the websites for both places that do the procedure and let me know if they have any questions they wanted asked when I call or email with my own. My brother decided that since it needs to happen no matter what, he doesn't need to read about it and weigh in. (????) My father hasn't looked at the websites yet to my knowledge, but I did read parts of them out loud yesterday to him after recapping what the vet told me. He's hyperfixated on the cost and the fact that the place that also boards is so inconvenient. That's all he keeps bringing up. So basically, they're both leaving ALL of the decision making and legwork up to me. As usual. Which sucks even more because since they're both unhappy about the situation, even though the things they're unhappy about can't be avoided, my stupid trauma makes it "my responsibility" to fix things and make them not unhappy. Which I can't. Which adds more stress and anxiety and fuels the need to fix it. See where I'm going with this? The website for the boarding place says you can send a blanket or a favorite toy or something, but you can't have it back because it'll be contaminated. I decided I'm going to send him with my stuffed cat that I sleep with. He uses it as a pillow sometimes and I've caught him cuddling it once. I told my brother this and he was like "wait, you know you can't get it back right? Didn't Mom give you that? And you're okay with it??" My attachment to the stuffed cat has nothing to do with the fact that my mother brought it for me when I was in the hospital in DC. And everything to do with the fact that it's cuddly and the perfect size and shape for sleeping with and gave me something to hold on to when my life was falling apart around me in grad school. And I care about Fat Kitty a lot more than I care about my mother. It's not even a question. And if this is the only goddamn thing I can do to comfort my fucking cat while he has to spend 3 weeks wondering why we're letting strangers poke him with needles and why we abandoned him, I'm going to fucking do it. My brother doesn't approve and says he'd feel weird essentially getting rid of something she gave him. Good for him. I would set fire to everything she ever gave me if I thought it would help. It just occurred to me that not only is it best for both cats that Fat Kitty stay at the hospital, it's also the best option for me. Because you fucking know that if he came home after just a few days, I would be the one responsible for keeping him off of things and out of rooms and keeping track of what we'd need to throw out after he stops being radioactive. So now I'm crying, which is fun. Because this realization means it's even better for him to stay there where people can keep an eye on and take care of him properly, but now I feel insanely guilty for putting my needs over my goddamn cat. What the actual fuck is my life I hate that I'm this fucking damaged.
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Eeps with the delay in updating. One day turns into ... a lot of days. I am very glad to have him back! He had a fun time on his trip and is also pleased to be back again. He suffered when reintroduced to the high heat and humidity of the Ottawa Valley, but is now reacclimated. In Belfast, I gather there was a "heat wave" that brought temperatures there to a "sweltering" 21°C. We had a good laugh at that. My habits have suffered over the last week, unfortunately. I simply keep forgetting to do them (except the walking and sun). I guess I need a better reminder system. Well, actually I need a reminder system. I never did get around to setting that up. And I've posted on no one's thread for at least a week. Gah. After we had a few days of together time (got little done), I got sick (I blame foreign plagues) and got more nothing done for a couple of days. I feel like I am about a week behind in where I was hoping to be. I will be done with my book task tonight, in fact even a little past where I planned to be, but haven't really started my email and have only nibbled at my inbox. This despite having several days where I was not working, picking a task on waking that I thought I could put some real time into, and suddenly where did the day go? Bleh. The exercise I have been doing is temporarily on hold. Part of the reason I have been sleeping poorly is because I am having issues with numbness in my hands. Google tells me it is probably an ulnar nerve issue, since it is the last two fingers that go numb, and it goes away quickly if I straighten my arm. It has been a niggling thing for a few months, but has been getting worse, and since it looks like repeatedly bending my elbows can angry up the nerve, pushups are on hold till I see the doctor next month. All the more reason to get the exercise system up and running. I did get inspired by my earlier injuries messing with my plans, after all! (I need a sound effect to match the other paragraphs. Froofle.) With the books done, I still have a week to pull this off. I'm on track with the exercise stuff. It will take longer than I think it will to get it how I want, I know that, but I can get a basic useable something together in the next week to be added to at leisure. I have one particular item in my inbox that is bulky (an old craft item), and if I deal with that, I am not too far off the inbox goal. I can pour some time and attention into email in the next week and if not make the goal, certainly get it better than it was at the start of the month (but still try to hit the goal, of course). And tomorrow, first thing, I set up a gosh darn reminder system for my habits. Then I make this a focus for the week because dang it, I want these habits for a reason. Here's to a successful final week for everyone!
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I still haven't been able to respond to my mom's email because every response I write either comes out too aggressive and I don't want to deal with a trans-Pacific fight or comes out too chill and I don't want her to think her behavior is ok. I've basically decided to just not answer the email and let her bring it up the next time we talk, but she's responded to my silence already by having my dad text me on all possible avenues to let me know tHErE cOuLd bE a PrObLeM Ugh. In other news, I did end up being asked to go to the film shoot today. I was instructed to bring a variety of clothes including an exercise outfit, "hoodie," and shoes. I showed up in my Japanese exercise outfit (I figured they wouldn't take yoga pants and a tank top well) and was informed my jersey was the wrong color and I would need to change, what other shirts did I have. I figured hoodie was a mistranslation and brought two cardigans (one in the forbidden color), a pair of black slacks, a black suit jacket, and a white button up. I was asked to wear the other cardigan. "And the shirt under?" I asked, a little confused. That particular cardigan is very low-cut. They confirmed that I was wearing an undershirt and insisted I forgo the white blouse. So I obligingly changed into the requested outfit. As they were setting up for the first scene, I was pulled aside and informed I looked too sexy and needed to put a shirt on. I tell you, this could not have been a more typical Japanese-English communication problem if it had tried. We finished filming really quickly so now I'm home and trying to muster up the energy to work on my art project or fic exchange, but all I want to do is take a nap.
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Well, I didn't think the goal through completely, I just knew I needed to start getting back into music, so I guess it counts...sort of, haha. I know it has helped me, especially during the darker moments of the last few weeks. Music has always been my lifeline. This is where I am just starting to get frustrated. I have tried taking baby steps, I have tried being ridiculously ambitious, and lots of variations in between. And I have epically failed at all of them. The only habit that has stuck since a challenge was drinking a glass of water first thing in the morning before coffee (which I have actually stuck with for like two years now, so that is a start). I am still trying to find the formula that really works for me. If I take on a bunch of ambitious goals, I know I always fail. If I take on easy goals and fail to meet them (usually caused by overworking in other areas of my life or a dip in mental health, which unfortunately happens often...but I am working on learning how to deal with that), then I feel like I complete failure. Like when you set the bar crazy low and then STILL can't bring yourself to meet it...I will be the first to admit that I grew up a perfectionist and overachiever and it just kills me every damn time. I was the oldest of eight kids and always felt like I needed to be a good example - always needed to be successful and get things right. And that has definitely continued into adulthood. Even though I can identify that as logically ridiculous, from an emotional perspective, it is still something I definitely struggle with. So...ok, this requires some backstory. I started singing when I was...heck, I don't even know. But I auditioned for, and started, choir when I was about four years old. I immediately fell in love with performance, despite intense performance anxiety. I also loved music. I have always struggled with expressing myself, and music gave me a medium to do that in a way that felt comfortable to me. I was also an intense bookworm and very intellectually and scholastically gifted, but ultimately I decided to pursue my passion and completed a bachelor's of music in vocal performance two years ago. My passion had always been in musical theatre and contemporary styles, but I really wanted a B.M. (bachelor of music) which almost always requires classical study. In my case, if definitely required it, so I learned art song and opera. By the end of my program I felt very burned out. I wasn't studying the areas of music I was most passionate about, and in many ways music had become more of a chore than a passion (though it still had its moments of being my entire world). After I finished the program, I decided to take a break from music, and I went to Germany for a little while, came back, got married, and got a job in writing/marketing for a software company. I am just now starting to get back into practicing music. I walked away from music when I finished college for a lot of good reasons, beyond being entirely burned out, my identity was entirely entwined with music. I could not separate criticism of my abilities from criticism of myself, so every time I got criticism, regardless of how helpful it was, or got rejected for a role, I took it so personally, and it really was not good at all for my already unstable mental health. I have always felt that music was where I was supposed to be - my calling, if you will. And the more that I open myself back up to my emotions and that reality and how I feel about music, the more that it kills me that music is not currently an integral part of my life. I feel that I have come to a place mentally and emotionally that I can engage with music as my own identity separate from my art, but there is a part of me that mourns the degradation of my abilities due to two years away from the art (for those unfamiliar with vocal cords, they are much like any other muscle of the body, if you don't use them, they atrophy and you have to slowly work them back up to peak performance, if you try to jump right back into where you were before, you will hurt yourself). Video reference for where I was: Right now I my work primarily revolves around marketing research and content creation/copywriting for a software company. Yes, there is most definitely a creative element to that, but it is not MY area of creativity, if that makes sense. And as I said before, what I long for is creativity (preferable music) infused with my analytical side, but what I do now feels more like my analytical side being infused with some creativity.
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Everybody reacts different to shift work. I did shifts for couple years in the past and it was manageable, but annoying. My wife works shifts for 10+ years already and she is perfectly okay with this. Just try it for couple months and decide if you are okay or not. I feel you. My boys were at my in-laws for a week and home were so strangely calm and quiet... Sounds like a good plan. I'm crossing my fingers for you
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W3 D6 (July 20th) - Keep the engine running Workout (running) ✔ Im getting back on my normal training schedule. More tan happy - We're losing pressure 2542 kcal, 117 g protein. 7 day average weight: 74.43kg Daily weight - 74.3kg - Beware the material fatigue No problem waking up at alarm. No screen in the afternoon at all, went to bed before 10pm. Fell asleep with no problems. - This thing needs to move My garage is pre-war barn - walls made of local sandstone and slate, with weak lime mortar. Years of wind and rain eroded the walls pretty badly (some stones started to fall off), so we needed to plaster it to prevent further damage. My dad asked his friend to come and help us with it, as any of us isn't good at masonry. We plastered one wall - 45 square meters in 8 hours. It would be twice as fast if it would be brick wall, but erosion took big chunks of old mortar from between the rocks and all these gaps needed filling. We ended putting (all by hand) about one ton of mortar on this wall - and this is only first filler layer. Next Saturday will be second, thinner layer to even the surface. And two more walls (luckily, the smaller ones). And as a cherry on top, afternoon running
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July 19th Nutrition: Breakfast - none Lunch - scrambled eggs with sausage, rye bread and fresh cucumber, 1x protein shake - 770kcal, 56g protein Dinner - pasta and leftovers casserole, tomato salad - 987kcal, 25g protein Supper - grilled eggplant with mozzarella, cottage cheese with blueberry jam, one cookie - 665kcal, 30g protein Drinks - black coffee, water. Morning coffee with 200ml whole milk - 120kcal, 6g protein Total 2542 kcal, 117 g protein. Workout (running): 33min - 3min marching warmup, 11x (2min jog, 30sec walk), 2.5min cooldown. Stretching afterwards.
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Insight time
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I can relate to that. My relationship with religion as a whole is far more complicated than I would like due to years of watching what terrible things it can do when people abuse it to push their own agendas. And not just on those specific issues.
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Here here. I’ve a long and complicated relationship with religion, especially weighing the net positive and negative effects on individuals, humanity, and myself. Mostly, if people treat others well I’m fairly open to a wide variety of beliefs. But on the flip side, I’m pretty hostile to beliefs that have the opposite effect.
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Yesterday was my fast day. I woke up feeling a little unwell and grumpy at the thought of no food, so I gave myself permission to eat something if I really felt like it. Dinner I was in a rubbish mood so I had around 600 cal. No formal exercise but did a bit of walking with 17, 000 steps. This has lead me into thinking about the 5:2 diet. Given all the reading I’ve done about occasional fasting windows as a lifestyle. Today I realised part of reason I freak out about my weight having gone up, and why I worry about how long it’s taken for me to loose weight, is because I’m afraid of getting old. I have this sense that I’m running out of time to be slim ‘now’ in my physical prime while I’m young. I have this irrational notion that the time I’ve been chubby I’m wasting potential. I know thats a stupid fear. And in reality this time that I’ve been on my weight loss and fitness journey I’ve learnt a lot. It’s crazy when I think about giving up, because I get caught up in all the frustration. Because if I really take a second sweet and fatty delicious food isn’t worth feeling comfortable in my body, it’s just very easy to fall into the trap of emotional reasoning. Getting on track has definitely been a very slow process and I’ve realised that I’m far more lenient than I used to be. I was super strict with calories to the exact number before. As a result my weight has been incredibly up and down, and haven’t been seeing a slow and consistent decline. So right now I’m trying to find the balance between staying on track and having reasonable expectations and leniencies for my psychological health. It’s all a valuable learning experience.
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Day 20 update: 1. Walked 2.25 miles also played some volleyball with the kids 2. Got 64 3. Nothing after 8 .
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Thanks! Watching you and following along with your own handstand progress has been hugely inspirational for me. That and @Mad Hatter's handstanding in a rubber raft Cirque Physio is hard. Hips and shoulders are hard, but in a good way, and I feel like I am making progress. Pike and and straddle are super strugglebus, though. I live in Beijing, but currently in Qiqihaer visiting Ghostess's relatives
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Food is good too
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Mini donuts are just a mn thing? But they are so rare...I only know one place that has it more than just a weekend or two... And for wild rice you do have to seek out the righy people for the real stuff... Most stuff in stores I'm told is sad ripoff... Following! May the yoga and kettle balls commence in the last week.
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Was great fun!
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S 7/20 Rest Day Food Breakfast from Chick-fil-a: chicken biscuit, Greek yogurt parfait with fruit and granola topping Lunch: leftover chili eaten over the course of about 3 hours Dinner: two slices of Flipper's cheese pizza Communion Other I'm about to scream and cry and throw sharp objects at past Snickie for picking out f&#*ing chiffon to make this dress. I did lots of research today on how to go about sewing chiffon on a machine and made a game plan for this dress and then it's taking me super long and there's no way it'll be ready for tomorrow or even ClarinetFest and I should have just bought a dress or stuck fringe on a dress I already have like my mom told me to (even though the dress she suggested I cannot play in). I'm in pain mostly because Aunt Flo is in town from sitting and hunching over the machine and fabric all afternoon after a weird day at work. I feel like I've gotten nowhere with this dress. I'm frustrated that a stitch that was working just fine at one point suddenly stopped because the sewing machine wanted to eat the fabric. Why did I do this? I know zilch about sewing. I know exactly two hand stitches: the running stitch and the blanket stitch, neither of which are all that appropriate for most aspects of garment making (basting at most). I have zero patience for hand stitching either. Asdfghjkl *flops onto bed sad*
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