Rurik Harrgath

*swoons in Nietzsche* Just being conscious of my aches and pains, easing my joints into things again because I've noticed a lot of my strength persisted and I don't want to injure myself.

[Netherlight Quest Log] Challenge Journal: The 17th January, 2020CE. Two CrossFit classes down, I feel old and wildly out of shape. But it kinda feels like a glimmer of sunrise on the horizon at least. Apothecarium (Nutrition): ☑☑☑☑☑☐☐ Monastery Maintenance (Clean): ☑☐☐☐☐ Artifact Research & Armory (Training): ☑ Chamber of Reflection (Self-care): Week of evenings is min-maxing Self-Care stat. Librarium (Study): A new financial guide. Ongoing To-Do mini-quests… ☐ Read: [In Progress] TBA ☐ Minimalism: [0g] Purge and Sell. ☐ Transportation: New tire [Arrived - installed Sunday]. Everything hurts and I'm dying. Wrote that Wednesday when 4 rounds of 17 wall balls was enough to destroy my legs. After another class and some tactical scaling it is feeling much more manageable.

[Netherlight Quest Log] Challenge Journal: The 14th January, 2020CE. The Veil of Apathy seems to have lifted and I'm cautiously optimistic about a potential CrossFit class tomorrow. Garbage and recycling out. One good day of eating. New batch meals made today. Apothecarium (Nutrition): ☑☐☐☐☐☐☐ Monastery Maintenance (Clean): ☑☐☐☐☐ Artifact Research & Armory (Training): ☐ Chamber of Reflection (Self-care): Librarium (Study): Ongoing To-Do mini-quests… ☐ Read: [In Progress] TBA ☐ Minimalism: [0g] Purge and Sell. ☐ Transportation: New tire [Ordered]. Your Build A Better Batcave inspiration is kind of the driving force behind this challenge for me. Just putting together a life and environment that is more conductive toward healthy habits. Discussions is what we do well around my challenges. Nice to see you too!

Fair point of inquiry. Admittedly I'm stuck in the mindset that CrossFit is best for me, i.e. social fitness and 'compulsory' motivation (can't quit with a coach and class driving you), and if I were to make that much of an investment I really ought to make the effort to go even if I drag my ass during the WOD. From there I feel like nutrition would fall into place because why bother committing to CrossFit if I'm not going to at least eat half-smartly to support it. At this point I really need to be doing anything because I'm failing even at the goal of moving ONCE per week.

[Netherlight Quest Log] Challenge Journal: The 12th January, 2020CE. Really battling the Apathy boss lately. Just can't seem to find my Why, or rather get past Why Bother, to get myself back to the gym. I know I'm gaining weight and that makes me unhappy, and I'll find the motivation for 5 minutes but then the "I really don't want to" dialogue kicks in and I'm back to square one. Apothecarium (Nutrition): ☑☑☑☑☑☐☐ Monastery Maintenance (Clean): ☑☑☑☑☐☐☐ Artifact Research & Armory (Training): ☐ Chamber of Reflection (Self-care): Overlaps with the Apothecarium today; groceries are organic and the process meditative inspired by Boulder, CO's Shine eatery. Librarium (Study): Currently studying the relationship between Stoicism and Nihilism and wherein balance can be found between the two; if indeed existence is hopeless and without further meaning than that which we impart to it, one might still live a life of joy and virtue despite (or in spite of). Ongoing To-Do mini-quests… ☐ Read: [In Progress] TBA ☐ Minimalism: [0g] Purge and Sell. ☐ Transportation: New tire [Ordered]. I think that is a common misconception. I used to as well. Happy to enlighten. Admittedly that overview came from a heavily MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) Reddit article but the outline was solid despite the misogynistic undertones. I skimmed and caught most of the sexism but dammit, missed some of the venom. Anything by Marcus Aurelius is a good start. He was a Roman emperor so you'll need to take his liberal use of of masculine with a grain of salt; it just as easily applies to humanity at large. Otherwise I enjoy combing through various Stoic articles and interpretations online just as much. That is probably my preferred route lately because the different angles and philosophies are very interesting! Marcus Aurelius was my introduction to Stoicism ages gone by, but I'm currently meandering through Meditations again now for probably the third or fourth time.

Brazenly I sought the Void thinking myself prepared for what terrors might dwell at journey’s end. When I first heard the old adage Sic vis pacem, para bellum I took those words at literal value but never dared imagine the war I would fight would be a battlefield largely in my own mind. What follows is not manifesto, creed, nor prayer; here lays merely a statement of the facts as they appear before us. I've been lost and I've been roving without direction, hope, or even a code to guide me. Any confidence and surety of the Path’s guidance is lost to me. Some more committed to the letter of their faith might say the night is dark and full of terrors, but they've never known the depths of the Void like I do; Lo, there are terrors and more here, metaphysical demons who haunt your waking mind all hours of the day and threaten to drive a man mad. So I must embrace the circumstances of my inward and outward experience in order to make some sense of the chaos if I am to climb the ladder toward warrior Nirvana. Though it may be a lonely sojourn, if there is another step ahead, and another and another, maybe it'll come to pass that a return to the Path dwells yet in the tarot or is written in the stars. For now, though, only a lonely echo in the Void’s great dark. Behold the Netherlight Sanctum, Fortress-Monastery of the Riftstalker. Continuing with my holiday mini-challenge’s theme of a sanctum from which to launch my campaign against bad habits and negative behaviour or thinking patterns, this challenge will be my Fortress Monastery to prepare for whatever undertakings I shall embark on in the New Year; and my life/body is the [Artifact] to be forged. Here is a very simple checklist to serenely rebuild a foundation and return to healthy habits both within and outward. [Netherlight Quest Log] Apothecarium: Whole foods at the very least, even if they aren’t perfectly healthy. Monastery Maintenance: Complete one Sanctum task per day. Artifact Research & Armory: Move once. Otherwise contemplate my exercise future, whether that's a return to CrossFit, continuing Yoga, giving Muay Thai a shot. Chamber of Reflection: Daily Self-care activities. Librarium: Self-improvement through NF forum participation, stoicism studies and writing pursuits, or memes.