Jarric

Thanks Harriet. You're right, we'll find a path ❤️

Well now I'm looking forward to meeting this character even more...

Last week was, it's fair to say, a pretty weird week. I had some quite bad anxiety and felt physically quite ill for the second half of the week. I mostly thought that the anxiety was somatopsychic, and Friday night was really, pretty awful. On Saturday morning I went to see Hopalong and walk his dogs, and after 10 minutes walking and chatting with him I felt so much better that it became abundantly clear that most of the problem is psychosomatic, not the other was round. With that said, I did wake up with horrible stomach pain on Thursday night (just trapped wind, but unpleasant at the time). My hips, back and groin all ache as well, I think from running (which is frustrating given how gently I've been increasing distance). Feeling sick last week I also haven't been eating enough, and I lost 2lbs this week (which could be an anomaly, but given that I'm supposed to be bulking it's not ideal). On a positive note, Saturday was a great day. After seeing Hopalong I went into town to see a group of old friends for our annual Christmas meet up. Because of the train strikes the last train home was 5pm, but that worked out quite well as I met them and had a few beers from 12 until 5, and then got home at a sensible time. Some food and water also meant bed at a sensible time, and no hangover Sunday morning. Sunday was also a great day. I did some yoga to try and solve my aches and pains, went for a walk with WW, and did some D&D prep. We then had session zero of a new D&D campaign I'll be running for WW, @jonfirestar @WhiteGhost, WW's brother and his girlfriend. We're running Waterdeep: Dragon Heist, and I can already sense it's going to be a silly, chaotic game In the afternoon I went to see Mum and Dad for a bit. I think they're holding up ok, taking things one day at a time. (To be fair, Dad doesn't acknowledge that there's anything wrong with him, so I'm more worried about Mum.) In the evening WW roasted a chicken, we did some life admin, and got to bed at a sensible time Goals wise I've been doing somewhat less than the bare minimum. I tracked food until Thursday and didn't hit my goals, and then gave up on tracking. I'm increasing my weekly calories to 20,944 to try and turn around last week's weight loss, aiming for 2,618 per day plus 2,618 of treats throughout the week (mostly on Christmas Day). 0/7 for essay writing. If I can I'll do some this week, but I don't need the extra pressure of pushing this any harder. 6/7 for Dutch, I think, as my Duolingo streak is still alive. No idea which days I did French on, but I'm calling it 3/7. Teeth were done every day, though thanks to running out of interdental brushes I only score 6.5/7. Given that I was having a full on breakdown at certain times this week it's fucking miraculous I haven't ditched this, so this is one goal I can be really happy about. Today is payday, which means time to calculate my challenge reward. Between week 5 of last challenge and weeks 0-2 of this challenge I averaged 66.17% goal completion. That means I pay £84.59 off my mortgage, and get to keep £165.41 in savings.

As a follow up, Mum's got in touch with them and has an appointment at the end of the week - thanks for pointing me in their direction.

You, Deffy, are a very good person. I just thought that was worth pointing out here.

I do get your point about looking over your shoulder, but as getting COVID doesn't guarantee you won't be reinfected, I think you're better off not getting it the first time.

Thanks Deffy, that looks really useful. I'll have to take some time to digest it properly, but that really helps. Thank you mate, I will. Thanks ❤️

Hope Ghostlet recovers quickly mate, and that you and Ghostess get away with avoiding it.

I'm struggling a bit at the moment. Dad got his test results yesterday, and the upshot is that he needs to go for more tests, and it could be 4-6 months before they can book those in. Next bit spoilered for medical/brain stuff. On Monday the gym was closed because of snow, so I did a Literal Immortality session instead. It doesn't count towards the goal unfortunately, as the point of the goal is to get me out and running early enough to get a session in on the same day. Work was ok; we had our team Christmas lunch and a bunch of meetings so I got bugger all done but at least that was expected. In the evening I was exhausted; chilled in front of the TV and went to bed. No studying, food massively over. On Tuesday I went for a run first thing, but I laid in bed contemplating my existence for ages first so no GMB. Work was ok, went out for a nice lunch with one of my favourite clients. Exhausted in the evening again, and then I got Dad's diagnosis and felt anxious and awful. Took some antihistamines, which seemed to take the edge off the anxiety, and eventually found some energy for basic household chores. Food massively over, no studying, forgot French and Dutch, and I've run out of interdental brushes so only half a point on the brushing goal. This morning I really struggled to wake up. I was in a deep sleep, and having a dream about my mate's funeral (he died 13 months ago). Not a great way to start the day. Went to Crossfit, which was a good choice despite the fact I felt weak and tired and rubbish throughout. I then thought/cried in the shower for quite a long time, and messaged my boss to let her know why I was late to work and might not be as available as usual today. She was very understanding, and I'm working from home thankfully, so I have some time to try and get my head a bit straighter. Next step is a lunchtime nap, we'll see how it goes from there.

I feel like this is supposed to be a controversial opinion, but I think most people agree that Blackadder season 1 was shit. That's why they slashed the budget, got rid of all the castles and extras, and totally changed the dynamic of all the characters for Blackadder the Second. Which in turn is why the second is good; they ditched the budget and tried to write something funny.

I don't make a lot of vegetarian food, but I've done this a few times and it's fairly easy and impressive (though maybe a bit summery?): https://www.oddbox.co.uk/recipes/pomegranate-filo-pie Otherwise, some kind of veggie wellington could work well (I've not tried any of these recipes): https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/collection/vegetarian-wellington-recipes

Sorry to hear that man. I hope housing and custody sort themselves out as smoothly as possible.

Both of these comments were revelatory to me. I don't think I have ADHD, but whilst I never struggle to sleep I definitely have nights where I struggle to go to bed. Glad to know I'm not alone in that. Also good to know why I might be experiencing more allergy type congestion recently.

Yes, learn from our mistakes! Drink rosé instead

Week 1 update Well, I disappeared a bit this week. Mainly because I've not had a lot of time at lunchtimes, which is when I generally update. Also because I've been working all the hours and was very, very tired. Friday night was our work Christmas party, which meant working through half my lunch, leaving early, and travelling up to the hotel to get ready. I was so damn tired in the morning that I didn't really want to go, and when I got there in the evening I was still struggling to feel up to it. Still, I put on my suit, went out, and had a lovely time. We had a great meal, and I got to see lots of people from the other office that I haven't seen in ages (and lots from my own office that I've not talked to properly in a while). At one point I ended up having a rather intense conversation with a colleague, which came as a bit of a shock to me as my tiredness and frustration from the week (and, if I'm totally honest, the last year or so) hit me all at once. It was fine, and we had a really good chat afterwards, but at that point I decided that I didn't need to stay up past half 2 and went to bed. Saturday was a pretty ropey day - hindsight being 20/20 I don't think I needed to drink the whole second bottle of red wine just because I was the only person on the table drinking red. I got home around lunchtime and spent the rest of the day feeling extremely sorry for myself. I laid on the sofa and watched a film from 1946 called A Case of Life and Death. Then I watched some crappy TV, then Guns Akimbo (which was very funny, but quite intense with how I felt ). Finally about 10pm I started feeling a bit better, so I stayed up until half 11 watching more trash TV before bed. On Sunday WW was feeling very sorry for herself, because her Christmas party was on Saturday night and she drank too much red wine. So at least we're consistent. I had a very chilled morning, and then it started snowing so I went out for my Couch to 5k run in the snow. This is the week that everything ramps up, and this run was a full 20 minutes as a single interval which was absolutely lovely. Dinner was a slow cooker chorizo cassolet from Gousto that I'd stuck in before my run, and that was lovely. I even started some prep for session zero of our next D&D campaign, which I'm very excited about. I'm going to be running Waterdeep: Dragon Heist, which I've been planning for absolutely ages but I'm pleased to finally actually get to. Week 1 stats The lich - 0/2 - I should have done this on Thursday, but didn't get up in time to do both my run and Literal Immortality. I also should have done it on Sunday, but to be honest I totally blanked on it. The muscle - 4/7 - failed calories on Monday, obviously had a ton of unplanned calories on Friday, and couldn't stomach enough food on Saturday to eat a sensible amount. Weirdly Friday and Saturday weren't too far off target, but the lack of planning is what fails the goal. Thanks to Sunday I managed to get almost spot on with my weekly goal, and hit 19,323 out of 19,264kcal for the week. Protein was all over the place: 226g, 165g, 167g, 192g, 88g, 81g, 130g, but weirdly the average of those values is exactly my daily target of 150g (to the nearest gram). Then again, the target is at least 150g, not an average of that, so it's weird but not useful. Weight is unchanged this week, if I don't gain weight in week 2 I'll increase my calorie target for week 3, and then every week until I gain a pound. The documancer - 1/7 - bloody rubbish, I was tired and I didn't want to do it. Must do better this week. The translator - 6/7 - other than blanking on day 1, this has gone fine. A few token gestures in there, as this is another thing I do on the lunch breaks that I haven't been taking, or when I'm working from home which I haven't been as much. Still, as long as I do it daily it counts; it's all progress if I keep it in my mind. The face - 7/7 - this is still going great. I'm hoping my new interdental brushes are delivered soon though, otherwise I'm going to have to work something out to be able to pass this.

It... happened. Update incoming!

A sign of cold weather to come I think - I'm sure using food to predict the weather is a meteorologically sound practice. I find it beat to lay traps when hunting soups.

Tuesday - week 1 day 2 Yesterday was a good day. I woke up at 6am and fairly promptly got out for my run. Week 5 of couch to 5k is where everything ramps up quite a lot; 3 x 5 minute intervals yesterday, 2 x 8 minute intervals tomorrow, and 1 x 20 minute interval on Sunday. My hip aches a bit today, so lots of foam rolling needed to make sure I'm up to it. Despite getting up about on time I'd really underestimated how long everything would take, and I ended up rushing for and subsequently missing my train. I eventually got to our other office, got the meeting done and finished the piece of work I had wanted to get finished on Monday. When I got home WW had cooked beetroot soup for dinner ( @sarakingdom it did look like murder). I ate that quickly, then it was off to D&D where we had a really intense fight with a cloud of blood and 3 bloody skeletons. It was touch and go for a while, and I genuinely thought we might lose someone, but it was also one of those great, thematic fights that I wouldn't mind losing my character to. A better day goals-wise - 3/4 scored. Calories were on track, though I did have 2 beers out of my allowance at D&D. French done on my walk home from the station and Dutch done late after D&D. Teeth done. Didn't get a chance to look at my essay, and exempt from Literal Immortality due to the early start.

That's brilliant, thank you. In January, when my freezer is no longer full of party food, I'm gonna give this a go.

This is sort of where I am - the heating mostly comes on to dry our clothes, because no-one wants damp clothes hanging round the house for days on end.

What kind of things do you save for stock? We never bother to make stock, but freezing leftovers to make it make a lot of sense. Well done on doing a thing. And on getting yourself some food - I saw a wise person say recently that if you hate everything, you're probably hungry

Yeah, I think that's a reasonable assertion. In hindsight, I could have planned the day better, to facilitate my goals and to focus on the bit of work I needed to get done. Then again, hindsight is always 20/20.

This sounds amazing - if you do try it I would be intrigued to hear the results

In my opinion (obligatory 'I'm not a doctor' comment here), there's value in talking about past trauma. Whether that's to analyse it or to vent, both do have value. There's no use in dwelling on it, but I don't think that's what you're doing, I think you're working through healing. Keep asking for help. I don't know what mental health services are like where you are, but quite often for any health care you have to shout loud and repeatedly to get the help you need. Don't accept not getting the help you need. I hope the call tomorrow goes well.

I think you're selling yourself short here. I know plenty of regular, casual climbers who struggle above 6A/6A+. It's not impressive to someone climbing 7s, but it's still a solid level of climbing ability, particularly if you're flashing them. You'll be fine; you know what you need to do and you have a plan to work on it.