Rise as the whole damn fire

[zoegrrl]

I used to be a heavy fighter in the SCA. I fought for years, and while I struggled because of my weight and fitness level, I loved it.

I struggled though, with mental illness that whispered lies and convinced me to neglect myself, and filled me with doubt, and eventually I did not feel worthy of my path, or sword and shield, and I gave them away, and gave up the field. I convinced myself this was what I wanted.

I spent years in darkness with that demon. Too long. But eventually I found the right treatment, and I have dragged myself back into the light.

The field calls to me. Life calls to me. And while I have real obstacles to overcome, and I might even fail, I have set my sights on a return to the field, and also to the things I love, and things I aspire to do.

Discipline is not traditionally a strength of mine, but I've been working for months and I have made some progress. It is time though, to build upon that and move forward, so I have come here.

I am preparing myself to take on the next Four Week Challenge, and this week I will be practicing three things. I can do three things.

 

Get gym bag and bfast/lunch ready every night so good to go in the morning

Get to practice on Thursday for pell work and slow work

15 min visualization exercise every night before bed

 

So fat, and weak, with bad knees, here I begin. I look forward to joining you guys.

[Wobbegong]

Welcome to NF, Zoegrrl! 

 

Discipline is a great strength to work on. Any change you want to make is going to have to be slow and steady to make sure they stick, so keeping on the day-to-day stuff is super important. Discipline is one I struggle with too, but it's so much less fickle than motivation if you can get the hang of it. You got this! 

 

Your practice goals look great! Are you going to be tracking them here in this thread, or are you thinking of starting a new challenge thread to work on them? Even though we're nearing the end of the current 4WC, you're welcome to jump in if you want. 

 

Let us know if you have any questions or need any help! We're a friendly group, and there's usually someone around

[zoegrrl]

Thanks Wobbegong! I finally came to terms with the idea that motivation cannot be relied upon. I'm trying to start slow and not do too much, that is always my way I want to do it all at once and that never works. 

 

I will work on those this week, and just try to get into the gym and maintain what I am already doing, and then when the next four week challenge starts I will add something more, but continue to track what I am doing now.

 

Thanks again for the welcome!

[sylph]

On 7/30/2017 at 2:46 PM, zoegrrl said:

Thanks Wobbegong! I finally came to terms with the idea that motivation cannot be relied upon. I'm trying to start slow and not do too much, that is always my way I want to do it all at once and that never works. 

 

I will work on those this week, and just try to get into the gym and maintain what I am already doing, and then when the next four week challenge starts I will add something more, but continue to track what I am doing now.

 

Thanks again for the welcome!

This seems like an awesome way to start!

 

How's your week going?

[zoegrrl]

A little wobbly but I am putting my gym bag and bfast and lunch together right now.

Visualization exercise is hard, because I feel silly. And I know this is like proven stuff. Still doing it though. Thank you for asking!

 

Sent from my SM-N920T using Tapatalk

 

 

[sylph]

17 hours ago, zoegrrl said:

A little wobbly but I am putting my gym bag and bfast and lunch together right now.

Visualization exercise is hard, because I feel silly. And I know this is like proven stuff. Still doing it though. Thank you for asking!

 

Sent from my SM-N920T using Tapatalk

 

 

Good for you! Keep going

[zoegrrl]

It's another week, and I am preparing for success, which really just means I'm doing everything I can think of to make it easy to make good choices. 

 

I can't believe how much work it is to prepare, and how time consuming it is. I know someone that says something like, "Everyone is ready to succeed, but not everyone is ready to prepare to succeed."

 

Probably because it's so much damn work. 

[sylph]

On 8/6/2017 at 10:45 AM, zoegrrl said:

It's another week, and I am preparing for success, which really just means I'm doing everything I can think of to make it easy to make good choices. 

 

I can't believe how much work it is to prepare, and how time consuming it is. I know someone that says something like, "Everyone is ready to succeed, but not everyone is ready to prepare to succeed."

 

Probably because it's so much damn work. 

Truth! Especially when you're just starting out since it is so different than what you usually do.

 

Eventually it becomes more habitual and easier as you build up the routine and can get on auto pilot a little.